Jesus was a socialist.

[flying rabbit]

Help me out here. I know he was, but my biblical skills are... lacking. I need something to throw in the face of the" I got mine, so fuck you" christians.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

1. Jesus was in favor of lots of injustice.

Except for the part about a rich man not getting in to Heaven. Totally contradictory statements.

[flying rabbit]

2. Elaborate.

[Neoma]

3. He gave free healthcare.

[flying rabbit]

4. Yeah, looking for biblical quotes though.

[Taitertots]

5. My position is that following Jesus would lead to a world that didn't need to be socialist

We don't live in that world, so we need the government to ensure the unfortunate are not cast aside to further benefit the fortunate.

In the bible, Jesus feeds the poor, cures the sick, loves his neighbors, befriends sinners to help them.... And he asks for nothing in return.

Jesus never said that the government should control the means of production. He was not a socialist, a capitalist, or a communist.

[man4allcats]

8. To paraphrase Slim Pickens' character

Maj. Kong, "Well shucks, if all that's true he sounds like a goddamn terrist to me!"

[tama]

6. Here you go

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unreasonablefaith/2011/08/the-wall-o-socialist-bible-quotes/

In the age of Internet, you don't need much biblical skills, only google skills

[flying rabbit]

7. I bow to your skills.

just thought I would put it out on DU

[Flabbergasted]

9. Like 3:11. Sermon on the mount.

Paul also says that however follow our leaders because they have been appointed by god.

[HiPointDem]

16. cite on the 'appointed by god' bit? 'render unto caesar' is the only quote i know about

'following leaders' -- & it just says to pay your taxes (caesar made 'money,' so give it to him)

[Flabbergasted]

19. Romans 13: 1-7. I think there is another one but this should do. Nt

[HiPointDem]

20. my error, i thought you said 'jesus said...' instead of paul.

[Flabbergasted]

21. Most Christians do not really make a distinction. Nt

[Manifestor_of_Light]

10. Here ya go. Chapter and verse. All four gospels.

Matthew


While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation of vipers." 3: 7

Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12

Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. 5:17

Don't defend yourself in court. 5:40

"If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Fair is fair! 6:15

Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30

Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14

Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19

"My servant lieth at home sick."
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK, I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God." 8:5-9

"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12

Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead." 8:21

Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters below. 8:32

Jesus heals a paralytic man by forgiving his sins. (Paralysis is caused by sinful behavior.) 9:2-6

Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6

Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen 19:24). 10:14-15

Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21

Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell." 10:28

"Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." 10:33

Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36

Jesus warns us not to love our parents or children too much. We have to make sure that we always love him (who we don't even know existed) more than our family. 10:37

Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24

"Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." 12:36

When Jesus' mother and brothers want to see him, Jesus rudely asks, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" So much for Jesus' family values. 12:47-49

Jesus explains that the reason he speaks in parables is so that no one will understand him, "lest ... they ... should understand ... and should be converted, and I should heal them." 13:10-15

"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath." Isn't this from the Republican Party platform? 13:12

Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50

Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex 21:15, Lev 20: 9, Dt 21:18-21) So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. 15:4-7 So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. 15:4-7

Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite woman's possessed daughter, saying "it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs." 15:22-26

The ever-so-kind Jesus calls the Pharisees "hypocrites, wicked, and adulterous." Why? For asking for some evidence that Jesus is who he claims to be. 16:3-4

"Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake. 16:25

Jesus condemns the whole world, saying "Woe unto the world because of offenses." 18: 7

Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9

In the parable of the unforgiving servant, the king threatens to enslave a man and his entire family to pay for a debt. This practice, which was common at the time, seems not to have bothered Jesus very much. The parable ends with this: "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you." If you are cruel to others, God will be cruel to you. 18:23-35

"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34

Rich people don't go to heaven. For as Jesus says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 19:23

Abandon your wife and children for Jesus and he'll give you a big reward. 19:29

The parable of the unfair, lying employer
The kingdom of heaven is like a business that hires workers, paying each the same wage (one penny). Some work 12 hours for the penny; others 9, 6, or 3 hours; and others for only one hour. If one of the 12-hour workers complains about it, his boss says, "Hey, didn't you agree to work all day for a penny? What are you complaining about? From this parable, David Barton (and the Republicans) claim that Jesus was against the minimum wage.
But the employer didn't say he'd pay each of the workers a penny; he said he'd pay them "whatsoever is right" (vv.4,7). Is it right for one employee to be paid twelve times as much as another when both are doing the same type of work? 20:1-15

"Jesus ... touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight." 20:34

God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. When he sends servants to collect the rent, the tenants beat or kill them. So he sent his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and kills the farmers and rents the vineyard to others. 21:33-41

"Whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder." Whoever falls on "this stone" (Jesus) will be broken, and whomever the stone falls on will be ground into powder. 21:44

In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 22:1-14

Jesus condemns the Jews for being "the children of them which killed the prophets." 23:31

Jesus blames his the Jews (who were then living) for "all the righteous blood" from Abel to Zecharias. 23:35

The end of the world will be signaled by wars, famines, disease, and earthquakes (6-7). And that's just "the beginning of sorrows" (8). Next believers will be hated and killed by unbelievers (9), believers will hate and betray each other (10), false prophets will fool people (11), iniquity will abound and love wax cold (12). But hey, if you make through all that, you'll be saved (13).
Only one more thing will happen before the end comes: the gospel will be preached throughout the world (14). Well, that and the abomination of desolations will stand in the holy place (15), many false Christs and false prophets will show great signs and wonders (24), the sun and moon will be darkened and the stars will fall (29), the sign of the son of Man will appear in the sky, everyone on earth will mourn, and then, finally, the great and powerful son of Man will come in all his glory (30).

Oh, and all these things will happen within the lifespan of Jesus' contemporaries (34).

Or maybe not. Jesus was talking about things he knew nothing about (36). (See Mark 13:32.) 24:3-51


Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he returns. 24:37

God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51

The parable of the cruel and unjust master
The kingdom of heaven is like a rich man who distributed his wealth to his servants while he traveled. He gave five talents (a talent was a unit of money, worth about 20 years of a worker's wages) to one servant, two to another, and one to a third. When he returned, the servant with five talents had made five more, the servant with two made two more, but the servant with one talent only had the talent his master entrusted to him. The master rewarded the servants that invested his money (without his permission -- what would have happened if the stock market went down during their master's travels?) and took the talent from the single-talent servant and gave it to the one with ten talents. "For unto every one that hath shall be given .. but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath." Then the cruel and unjust master cast the servant who carefully protected his master's talent into the "outer darkness: [where] there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:14-30

"Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents." 25:27

Jesus will give to those who already have and take from those who have nothing. He must've been a Republican. 25:29

The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30

Jesus judges the nations. 25:31-46

Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire." 25:41

Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46

Ointment for Jesus' head is more important than helping the poor. 25:6-11

"His blood be on us, and on our children." This verse blames the Jews for the death of Jesus and has been used to justify their persecution for twenty centuries. 27:25

Mark


Jesus becomes angry at those who said that he had "an unclean spirit," so he announces the unforgivable sin: "blasphemy against the Holy Ghost." 3:29

Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell. 4:11-12

"For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath." -- The US Republican Party motto 4:25

Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13

Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11

Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20: 9, Dt.21:18-21) 7: 9-10

Jesus initially refuses to cast out a devil from a Syrophoenician (non-Jewish) woman's daughter, calling the woman a "dog". After much pleading, he finally agrees to cast out the devil. 7:27

If you're ashamed of Jesus, he'll be ashamed of you. 8:38

Jesus gets mad at his disciples for failing to cast out a devil and says, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? 9:19

Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell. 9:43-49

Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 10:25

Jesus will reward men who abandon their wives and families. 10:29-30

God is like a rich man who owns a vineyard and rents it to poor farmers. When he sends servants to collect the rent, the tenants beat or kill them. So he sent his son to collect the rent, and they kill him too. Then the owner comes and kills the farmers and gives the vineyard to others. 12:1-9

In the last days God will make things especially rough on pregnant women. 13:17

Ointment for Jesus' head is more important than helping the poor. 14;3-7

Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't will be damned. 16:16

Luke


Zechariah asks the angel Gabriel how his wife Elizabeth could become pregnant, since she is "stricken with years." Gabriel makes him "dumb" just for asking. 1:20

"How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?"
Just a few verses earlier (1:17-20), Zacharias is struck dumb for doubting his wife's angel-assisted pregnancy. Why wasn't Mary punished for her disbelief? 1:34-35

Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 3: 9

"Be content with your wages" -- no matter how unjust they may be. 3:14

John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17

Jesus cures a paralytic by forgiving his sins, thereby proving that he is God (since only God can forgive sins) and paralysis is caused by sin. 5:18-25

Jesus says that people who are rich, well-fed, happy, or respected are going to hell. 6:24-26

"That he would come and heal his servant"
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK, I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is wrong." 7:2-10

Jesus speaks in parables so that people won't understand him. 8:10

"Whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he seemeth to have." Jesus was the first Republican. 8:18

Jesus, when told that his mother and brothers want to see him, ignores and insults them by saying that his mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it. 8:20-21

Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea. This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not favorably impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37

Jesus speaks harshly to his disciples because they couldn't cure epilepsy by casting out devils. 9:41

Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15

"This is an evil generation." 11:29

Jesus blames all the deaths of the prophets [from Abel(?) to Zacharias] on his generation. 11:47-50

Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and then torture us forever in hell. 12:5

"He that denieth me before men shall be denied before the angels of God." 12: 9

Those who "blaspheme against the Holy Ghost" will never be forgiven. 12:10

Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes" and cuts them in pieces. 12:46-47

"Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division." 12:51

Jesus calls the people hypocrites because they cannot "discern this time." 12:56

"Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." 13:3, 5

According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30

Jesus says that his disciples must hate their families (mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children) and themselves. 14:26

If you want to be a disciple of Jesus, you must abandon everything, including your family. 14:33

"Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations." 16: 9

"If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?" 16:11

In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, because as Abraham explains, he had a good life on earth and so now he will be tormented. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven. This seems fair to Jesus. 16:19-31

Slaves should do what they're told. 17: 7-9

Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and had no problem with the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27

Jesus also believes the story about Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32

The parable of the avenging, lazy, unjust judge (God). 18:1-6

Rich people cannot go to heaven. "For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." 18:25

In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow. The parable ends with the words: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay them before me." 19:12-27

"Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds. (And they said unto him, Lord, he hath ten pounds.) For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him." These verses are used by Republicans to justify protecting the rich from taxation. 19:24-26


John


Jesus believed the stupid and vicious story from Numbers 21. (God sent snakes to bite the people for complaining about the lack of food and water. Then God told Moses to make a brass snake to cure them from the bites.) 3:14

As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), God had his own son tortured and killed. 3:16

People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18, 36

The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36

Jesus magically perceived that a Samaritan woman had been married and divorced five times previously. (He could spot a divorced woman a mile away.) Since women weren't allowed to get a divorce, it was always the woman's fault and divorced women were considered outcasts. This was a great opportunity for Jesus to explain why the Mosaic marriage laws were unjust and correct them -- if he thought they were wrong, that is, which apparently he didn't. 4: 7-18

Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14

Jesus knew who could stomach the idea of eating his flesh and drinking his blood (the Catholics, who are going to heaven) and who couldn't (the Protestants, who are going to hell). It's all a part of God's plan and we have nothing to do with it. 6:64-66

Jesus tells his family that he wasn't going to the feast, but later goes "in secret." 7:8-10

If you don't believe in Jesus, you will "die in your sins" (and then go to hell). 8:24

Jesus calls his opponents (the Jews) the sons of the devil. 8:44

The disciples ask Jesus about the cause of a man's blindness. Was it because he or his parents sinned? Jesus said neither had sinned. The man was born blind so that Jesus could show off his powers by curing him of his blindness. 9:1-3

Jesus says that he has come to make people blind. 9:39

"All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers."
Everyone that ever lived before Jesus was a thief and a robber. 10:8

Lararus must suffer and die (or pretend to die) so that Jesus can "be glorified" by raising him from the dead. 11:4

Mary wastes expensive ointment on Jesus' feet, rather than selling the ointment and giving the money to the poor. But Jesus thinks his feet are more important, saying that poor people will always be around, but he and his precious feet won't be. (According to the New Oxford Annotated Bible, 300 denarii would be nearly a year's wage for a laborer.) 12:3-8

You must hate your life in order to keep it. (If you love your life, you'll go to hell after you die.) 12:25

The reason people didn't believe in Jesus was that God had "blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart." God did this so that they would not "understand with their heart, and be converted." This way God could damn more people to hell. 12:40

If you don't believe in Jesus you are going to hell. 12:48

Jesus is the only way to heaven. All other religions lead to hell. 14:6

"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father."
If you follow Jesus' teachings, God will love you -- otherwise... well, you know. 14:21

Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:6

Now that Jesus has come, non-believers have no excuse for not believing in him. 15:22

[flying rabbit]

11. Not quite what I was looking for

but will come in handy for other purposes. thanks.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

12. Several verses about economic injustice & unfairness there.

Parable of the unjust employer, parable of the talents, slavery is ok, wasting expensive oil on Jesus' feet. Read closely--several verses that reflect Republican philosophy.

[HiPointDem]

17. how does, for example, the oil reflect 'republican philosophy'? one sister is cheap & doesn't

want to waste oil cleaning a guest's (jesus's) feet, the other wants to, jesus says let her oil my feet because i won't always be here?

what's so republican, wasting resources? wasting resources on jesus?

i think the 'republican philosophy' is a stretch.

[NightWatcher]

13. Jesus was a Capricorn. He ate organic food

Long hair, beard and sandles
And a funky bunch of friends
Reckon we'd just nail him up
If he came down again

Chorus:
'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Prove they can be better than at any time they choose
Someone doin' somethin' dirty decent folks can frown on
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me

Eggheads fussin' rednecks cussin'
Hippies for their hair
Others laugh at straights who laugh at
Freaks who laugh at squares

Some folks hate the Whites
Who hate the Blacks who hate the Klan
Most of us hate anything that
We don't understand

Kris Kristofferson

[louis c]

14. Here's 8 verses

Link:
http://travonfree.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/jesus-the-great-socialist-8-verses-missing-from-republican-bibles/

[raouldukelives]

15. He's the OG bleeding heart liberal, tree hugging socialist pinkocommie.

Of course, with super powers. That'd be handy. Any other guy showing up at LGA without ID and matching every mark in the profiling handbook had best prepare for a full cavity search.
Makes you wonder, with so many avowed Christian politicians. I assume you just have to ask yourself how Jesus would vote and then do it.
Sometimes I wonder if have they same copy I do. Redacted perhaps. I think it may be missing Matthew.

Matthew 19:21
“If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

Matthew 6:24
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

[flvegan]

18. Jesus was an Essene. n/t

[socialist_n_TN]

22. Well........

the only people he went after in anger was the moneychangers in the Temple. They make profit on currency conversion, ergo they were financial capitalists.