Not the Brain! Definitely Not the Brain! Stop Asking About the Fucking Brain! -- JoJoFromJerz

[erronis]

https://jojofromjerz.substack.com/p/not-the-brain-definitely-not-the

Just a bit from JoJo's piece yesterday. The whole thing is frigging hilarious (even the trumpie bits.)

. . .

But let’s revisit the brain. The idea that anyone would dismiss the possibility of a brain MRI in his case is the funniest part of this entire fairy-tale-turned-medical-horror-show.

This is a man whose cranial landscape is less “organ of cognition” and more intellectual skid row where common sense turned tricks for loose change. Inside that gilded skull is the cognitive gangbang of confusion, ego, lies, and erectile insecurity grinding under a flickering neon sign. His frontal lobe functions like a cerebral glory hole where stray thoughts wander in and never emerge, while the cortical motherboard sizzles like a cursed relic stolen from a museum basement. The entire operation is run out of an internal call center staffed by three disgruntled possums on a smoke break, misrouting calls and occasionally fighting over an old ham wrapper. And at the center of it all is the cranial snuff film where synapses go to get waterboarded by confusion.

. . .

And yet—somehow—we are supposed to accept this. Nod politely like enchanted villagers in a cursed kingdom and pretend it’s perfectly fine that the president of the United States cannot recall what body part doctors shoved into a machine that sounds like a demon trying to escape a steel coffin.

. . .

Because here’s what we can see with our own eyes—no MRI required: his posture has given up completely, collapsing like a lawn chair at an all-inclusive resort during “Free Margarita Hour,” and he forgets names and places like his brain outsourced memory to interns who stopped showing up. He falls asleep mid-question like his brain hits the fainting couch and demands smelling salts, lurching and slurring like a shopping cart with a busted wheel on black ice.

. . .

[Ocelot II]

1. Brilliant!

[Kid Berwyn]

2. JoJo's brain works real good.

So forgive me for assuming the MRI might reveal something less “perfect” and more “haunted electrical panel.”

Loamworth!

[oasis]

3. Lovely. JoJo's a blast .

[NNadir]

4. She's a kind of poet, a dark poet, but a poet all the same.

[Ray Bruns]

5. OMG!

“His frontal lobe functions like a cerebral glory hole where stray thoughts wander in and never emerge, while the cortical motherboard sizzles like a cursed relic stolen from a museum basement”

[NJCher]

12. that was my fave

I'll probably savor that all day.

[Traildogbob]

6. I so love this woman

She is as brilliant as she is beautiful, and always smiling as she crucifies his fat ass. Damn she is a word smith.
It makes my week when she is on Stephanie for an hour. What a treasure we have with her on our side.
If anybody needs to write a book it is Jo Jo.
Look out John Funglsang, she could overtake Separation of Church and Hate as longest running Best Seller.
I read John to step on the dicks of fake Jesus BS. We could read Jo Jo to step on tiny MAGA dicks in any trump augments.

[EYESORE 9001]

7. I had an MRI just last week

Wanted to establish a baseline for any problems in the future, plus rule out anything ‘structural’ inside my brain or cervical vertebrae. I was briefed thoroughly prior to the procedure, and those in attendance left no doubt about the areas which would be examined. The ‘demon trying to escape a steel coffin’ image is apt. Toward the end of the procedure, the noises took on such frenetic intensity that it gave the illusion of motion ( think rocket engine igniting and struggling against restraints to thrust itself into space). It was actually thrilling to me, but I can see how lots of people are freaked out by it.

Rump’s answer about being oblivious has three interpretations, none of them good.

1. He’s lying, which is my personal pick.

2. He’s just so intellectually incurious that he just don’t GAF, and while his lack of interest is well-documented, I think he was interested to the extent that it concerns his health (and likely no more than that).

3. He flat-out forgot what transpired during the procedure, which I think is possible, but not likely IMO.

None of these possibilities reflects well, leading even the most casual of observers to wonder WTF is wrong.

[lastlib]

8. OMG, that is hysterical!!

"This is a man whose cranial landscape is less 'organ of cognition' and more intellectual skid row where common sense turned tricks for loose change. Inside that gilded skull is the cognitive gangbang of confusion, ego, lies, and erectile insecurity grinding under a flickering neon sign. His frontal lobe functions like a cerebral glory hole where stray thoughts wander in and never emerge, while the cortical motherboard sizzles like a cursed relic stolen from a museum basement. The entire operation is run out of an internal call center staffed by three disgruntled possums on a smoke break, misrouting calls and occasionally fighting over an old ham wrapper. And at the center of it all is the cranial snuff film where synapses go to get waterboarded by confusion."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"three disgruntled possums on a smoke break" - - - - - - - -

[mountain grammy]

9. Wonderful

Love her and her humor ❤️

[evolves]

10. GREAT writing!!

You GO, JoJo!

[Warpy]

11. I'm not making too much of this MRI thinkg, it's a distraction

because most civilians over 60 are not going to be really clear on which massive hunk of equipment was used and were so stressed out at the time they barely remember whether they were the hold in a big donut (CAT scan) or were stuffed into a long tube , the filling in an eclair (MRI), which is kind of how I explained the whole thing, food being a way to combat fear.

Add to that the fact that nobody can tell Fatso anything about any field he wants to pretend he's knowledgeable about.