Trump, 79, Rambles About His Chances of Getting Into Heaven

[Zorro]

President Donald Trump obsessed over his chances of making it into heaven and bragged about all the good he’s done for religion on Thursday as he attended a National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC. It’s not the first time that the 79-year-old president, who is the oldest ever elected, has pondered aloud about his chances in the hereafter.

“I really think I probably should make it,” Trump argued. “I mean I’m not a perfect candidate, but I did a hell of a lot of good for perfect people. That’s for sure.”

At the start of his speech, Trump almost immediately turned to rambling about the media before making the case for getting into heaven. The president complained that the last time he attended the event, he said, “I will never make it to heaven,” intending to be funny, but it wasn’t taken that way.

“I say ‘I’m never going to make it to heaven. I just don’t think I qualify. I don’t think there’s a thing I can do, but all of these good things I’m doing, including for religion,’” Trump continued, after pointing out the room was full of “fake news.”

He then got distracted and declared: “You know religion is back now hotter than ever before,” which he took credit for, before turning back to his complaint.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-79-rambles-about-his-chances-of-getting-into-heaven/

Donnie Ding Dong talks about what's "hot" more than Paris Hilton. And "hot" is probably not the best word to use in connection with religion...

[Ocelot II]

1. The proverbial snowball's chance in Hell.

[jls4561]

5. Perhaps Satan will morph Fat Donnie into an orange slush ball, which continuously melts as it tries to roll up a mountai

to get to a big, shiny gold prize with his name on it.

[Johonny]

2. Imagine a grown ass adult praying to a magic being

He doesn't actually believe in to satisfy voters he fucking hates...

[tanyev]

3. Yeah, sure, Donald.

[Aviation Pro]

4. Not up to you

You fucking pedophile.

[jmowreader]

6. He's bound for the Eighth Circle of Hell

The only problem we've got is the structure of the Eighth Circle. There are ten Bolgia:
Bolgia 1 is for Panderers and Seducers, who are whipped by horned demons.
Bolgia 2 is for Flatterers. This is a ditch filled with diarrhea, which you're immersed in,
Bolgia 3 is for Simoniacs - traffickers in holy office. They are placed upside down in wormholes and have their feet set on fire.
Bolgia 5 is for Sorcerers and False Prophets. They get their heads twisted around so they face to the rear, and must walk backwards.
Bolgia 6 is for Hypocrites. They walk in circles wearing robes made of gold-plated lead.
Bolgia 7 is for Thieves, who are eaten by big lizards, reborn into new bodies and eaten again.
Bolgia 8 is for Fraudulent Counselors. They are wrapped in tongues of fire.
Bolgia 9 is for Sowers of Discord. They get hacked to pieces by sword-wielding demons.
Bolgia 10 is for Falsifiers like alchemists, counterfeiters and liars. They get leprosy and the plague.

Trump belongs in all ten.

[dalton99a]

7. His stupid hat should read Make Evil Great Again

[Dan]

8. It would improve his chances if he confessed to being a pedophile in public

highlight all his sexual predations and asked for forgiveness from his victims (on national TV), oh and identify all his co-conspirators.

[Raven123]

9. Trump is absolutely flummoxed

MAGA cannot elect him into Heaven
He cannot buy heaven
He cannot invade heaven
He can’t bribe, blackmail or sue God
He can’t send ICE to evict God, since ICE doesn’t recognize God and would shoot first, then claim God was an assassin.

Basically everything Trump has done on earth won’t work. He is without a moral compass and lost in his own demented mind, except for the few moments when he knows he is soon to be dust.

[Ars Longa]

10. Note to DJT--Open Bible to Book of Matthew 25: 35-46...

In your case sir , it should be pretty clear- cut!!
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025%3A31-46&version=NIV

[Wednesdays]

11. "You know religion is back now hotter than ever before,"

While the number of religious folk in the USA has leveled off since around 2019, there's been a huge drop the last 30 years.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/697676/drop-religiosity-among-largest-world.aspx

[iemanja]

12. If anyone deserves to rot in hell, it's he.

And a lot of his supporters need to go with him.

[allegorical oracle]

13. If there is a God.....

[Kid Berwyn]

14. It's never too late to try, Donnie.

Turn state's evidence on your co-conspirators in treason, fascism and crime -- and spill all you know about Putin and the FSB or whatever the KGB goes by these days -- and you're starting to get there.

[Permanut]

15. No problem..

He can be assured that he will spend eternity with Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Newt Gingrich, Benny Hinn, Creflo Dollar, Jimmy Swaggart and John Hagee.

[Marie Marie]

16. It is for people like Trump that I really wished I believed in Hell.