Are ski jumpers enhancing their penises to fly further?

[Nevilledog]

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7024688/2026/02/05/ski-jump-penis-enhancement-wada/

No paywall link
https://archive.li/aNIXo

The Winter Olympics has long been a battleground for marginal gains. Just look at the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation (IBSF) banning the new helmets Great Britain had planned to wear next week due to their aerodynamic ridges.

Thursday, however, took things to a new level in Milan Cortina — ski jumpers allegedly injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid in order to fly that little bit further.

The claims were originally reported in German newspaper Bild, in January on the eve of the latest Winter Olympics beginning in Italy and subsequently addressed by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) president Witold Banka during a press conference.

So far, so lurid, but there is science behind the allegations. Injecting the penis with acid would increase its size and give the ski jumpers bigger genitalia at the point their suits are measured by 3D scanners.

Temporarily enhanced measurements would theoretically mean athletes being given a bigger, looser suit and, like a sail catching wind, could allow them to make longer jumps. Research from the scientific journal, Frontiers, published last October said that a 2cm change in a suit represented an extra 5.8 metres in the length of a jump.

*snip*

[bluedigger]

1. To fly further.

Yeah, sure. That's why I do it.

[Nevilledog]

3. It's a real thing

[bluedigger]

5. I'm still hung up on the ideal gas law.

[eppur_se_muova]

20. Henh henh henh ... you said "hung". nt

[TommyT139]

2. No one wants to be like Trump

...but having a little extra ball room evidently comes in handy sometimes.


(And to those not following this story - ski jumpers are enhancing in various ways during suit fittings, because even small amounts of "extra" fabric surface can give extra airtime, enough to theoretically make a difference between a medal or not.)

[Raven123]

4. Clearly the answer is to have them jump in their birthday suits.

That will stop them

[Solly Mack]

6. Would you like to fly on my beautiful balloon 'ed penis

Way up in the sky on my beautiful balloon 'ed penis.

[Nevilledog]

10. Ha!

[Solly Mack]

14. In science, there is humor. :)

[Jack Valentino]

11. Up, 'UP' and Away!!!! LOL

I was a great fan of this song when it came out, for the 'up up and away' line---
At about 5 years old, I was a great fan of Superman comics

&list=RDJ2hI3-KvYZY&start_radio=1

[Solly Mack]

12. Very funny!

I liked the song too.

[cachukis]

7. Had seen a headline. Thanks for your analysis.

[Wednesdays]

8. The Olympic Committee needs to stand firm

...and impose some stiff penalties for this.

[MustLoveBeagles]

9. ...

[yonder]

15. Only after they rise to the task at hand.

[Wednesdays]

18. It's a hard job

But somebody has to do it.

[tavernier]

13. How do you people even walk around with those things?

[Wednesdays]

19. In some cases, half-erect. nt

[Celerity]

16. Big dick, big air!

Or so my Swedish male friends (both straight and gay) tell me.

Weeeeeeeee!

[LudwigPastorius]

17. "...ski jumpers allegedly injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid"

So, you're saying that Elon Musk and RFK Jr. aren't the only dicks that drop acid?

[eppur_se_muova]

21. It's all a setup by the event's sponsor, Viagra. nt

[Kaleva]

22. Exposed boners could get frostbite