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My wife's just been diagnosed with lymphoma and now the doctors have said that it also could be leukaemia. This has been a "spectre" since early November, but the first diagnosis regarding Lymphoma only came in late January. The Leukaemia factor only just today.
One of the issues that she's facing is that this insidious disease has attacked her liver, her pancreas and her kidneys - and as a result of all these organs not working properly she's been inundated with high levels of fluids that as you can imagine has caused her to expand into something unbelievable.
They've tried to drain the situation - 11 litres of fluid in one evening - which is amazing but, as a result of that, she's under quite a different kind of stress.
I'm quite concerned. I don't know what to do because there isn't much I CAN do. The medical team is doing the best they can and so I can only hope for the best.
I do trust the system - I think that here in the UK it might be difficult to get care you need initially you know, if you have minor stuff. But if you really do have something serious, I have to admit, from my experience now, through this process, that the system is brilliant. Theyve attacked this like the SAS.
The teams are deployed, systems are focused, testing is allocated, and yeah, I think that if you are suffering from something like what my wife is undergoing, I now know that residing in a National Health care type system where you don't worry about it - they worry about it - It is actually good. From local doctors, emergency ambulance services, and multi-disciplinary teams, there has never ever been any comment or suggestion of a bill or payment required. Its amazing.
However, all that said, it doesn't necessarily give me much comfort because I'm still unclear as to how things are going to resolve.
We've been together since 2003 and we do everything together. And
There is no difference even in this situation - I wake up every morning
I work my way to the hospital
I'm there by her bedside every day for as long as I can whilst simultaneously trying to maintain my work because that has to happen too. And even after hours, we stay connected via text and email sometimes even all through the night.
The medical teams are quite sensitive. The nurses and nursing assistant teams are focused completely on her situation and her health but they also do have those moments when they ask me how I'm doing - which frankly, considering the fact that I am completely emotionally compartmentalised (so as to allow me to get through this) I deeply appreciate what they are doing and trying to do.
I only have a few friends locally here in the UK. My closest friends are back in my home state of Michigan. But everyone regardless of the global location is trying to be supportive.
So anyway, that's where I'm at now - it's a bit depressing, but I'm getting through the day-by-day. At least I have a client that is supportive, whatever you need, its least we can do. almost caused me to breakdown.
So, I'm going to pause here. Only to add that I just thought it would be cathartic for me too sort of reflect on where I'm at right now and the challenges I'm facing. Although I'm not a frequent original poster on DU, I do try to stay engaged and read and understand what's going on and I know that others have posted regarding their own personal issues with health, food and other things and the community support has been wonderful to witness.
I thought I would just at least share some of this and allow a bit of release to occur.
Hopefully I can find some balance.
Anyway, thanks for reading. You don't have to comment, you don't have to respond, you dont have to rec.
It doesn't matter
just writing this is probably enough for the moment
thanks DU!
Joe.
mr715
(3,292 posts)malaise
(294,378 posts)Sending good vibes
Hope22
(4,563 posts)I hope they can find something to give your wife for some relief. Be sure to take care of yourself. Caregiving is is exhausting. Sending thoughts up that you find answers. 💗🙏🏼💐💗
SuzyandPuffpuff
(459 posts)Reach out you're amongst friends and colleagues that have "been there done that"...cancer of any form is insidious. Invasive. Cruel. Unrelenting. Your fam in the states stand behind your and especially her. Sorry for you both. Cancer sucks
sinkingfeeling
(57,510 posts)Greywing
(1,164 posts)I know your wife is in good hands and there really is nothing anyone of us can do when our loved ones are struck except be with them.
You are a blessing and such a good person as you accompany your wife on her journey.
Ninga
(9,004 posts)task she has been handed. In 2020 I was diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma that appeared to respond well to chemo with scans showing no evidence of the disease making me believe I was on way to remission. In 2023 I became ill and found that I had a totally different Lymphoma-FLL - treatable but not curable.
I will hold her in my thoughts, prayers and heart. I will pray for her doctors and their success in treating her. I extend warm hugs to you because of helplessness, worry and stress.
SheltieLover
(78,550 posts)niyad
(130,673 posts)MustLoveBeagles
(15,292 posts)a kennedy
(35,604 posts)Grim Chieftain
(1,451 posts)That's a tough diagnosis. If it is any comfort, one of my dear friends, who was also my major professor at grad school, was diagnosed with leukemia in his thirties and lived until his late seventies. He played tennis and golf for many years and lived a full, active life.
My husband's friend, also a professor, was diagnosed with lymphoma and lived into his late seventies.
There is hope. Please know you are in my thoughts and I am sending you and your wife positive vibes and good wishes.
SheltieLover
(78,550 posts)Not sure if this will be helpful, but I saw this new cancer treatment they are using at Vanderbilt for liver cancer & posted the article:
https://democraticunderground.com/11469899
I'm glad you both have adequate support, but please feel free to lean in on DU.
ret5hd
(22,364 posts)Nevilledog
(54,790 posts)Solly Mack
(96,688 posts)Dear_Prudence
(1,125 posts)That you two are going thru this. Your just being there to support her is a huge contribution to her well-being. Take care.
IA8IT
(6,384 posts)She was right.
Tears and Hope to Both of you.
bamagal62
(4,412 posts)My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 2.5 years ago. He had to have lots of fluid removed 2x per week from around his lungs for months. He is now in remission. (He is still receiving rituximab shots and white blood cell boosters shots.)
Good to hear she has a good medical team. Take care of yourself. ❤️ Sending you and your wife love and positive energy.
Cancer sucks.
KitFox
(520 posts)watching the rest of the world go on around you and your world has come to a screeching halt. Please know how much we care and want you to come to us with your thoughts and feelings. This time nine years ago, I was at my husbands hospital bed every minute for weeks. My heart goes out to you! Sending strength and hopeful hugs your way. 🧡
AllaN01Bear
(28,986 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,845 posts)I will pray and light a candle in a very special sacred place during my upcoming travels on Ash Wednesday.
mountain grammy
(28,828 posts)Youre in my thoughts. Hoping for the best.
Fla Dem
(27,505 posts)All the best to both of you. Please keep us posted as you travel this terribly difficult path. We Care!!!
chia
(2,774 posts)mercuryblues
(16,269 posts)It is daunting the 1st few months. Trying to get the body adjusted to everything, then the real battle begins. I know this sounds odd but take care of yourself. If you don't you won't be able to be there for her.
Let me tell you about my Shrek legs.
After my first few Chemo treatments, I swelled up similar to what you described. My brother being my brother said...OMG Merc, you have Shrek feet. I thought the nurse was going to faint. I cracked up and looked at her and said, well he ain't wrong.
I was finally diagnosed with a Pseudomonas infection. I called it a Harry Potter spell. This bacteria is found in almost everything. When you are healthy you just slough it off. Not a big deal. When you get this sick the rules change.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/25164-pseudomonas-infection
One way to combat this and other infections in the future sounds odd.
A neutropenic diet. Boil drinking water. you can have have canned or well cooked fruits and veggies, not raw. Think applesauce, not fresh apples. The heat destroys the bacteria in your food.
more at:
https://www.mskcc.org/experience/patient-support/nutrition-cancer/diet-plans-cancer/neutropenic-diet
You guys will learn to live by test results and what you can do on your end to make it through this.
maliaSmith
(174 posts)I'm sending big hugs to both of you in your health journey. I hope it works out well for both of you.
pandr32
(14,013 posts)It is an awful ordeal, but don't feel defeated. Your devotion and daily presence means so much to your wife. You can fight this better together and hopefully she will be able to go home with you soon.
Sending hugs and hearts.
LoisB
(12,613 posts)you both through this journey and remain hopeful for a good outcome.
hamsterjill
(17,221 posts)Wishing you all the very best.
surfered
(12,443 posts)Their treatments involved chemotherapy and, in one case, stem cell therapy all at M D Anderson in Houston, TX.
The neighbor died of old age. The friend and Urologist are still kicking. So, dont give up hope.
❤️🙏
JoseBalow
(9,332 posts)I am in a situation very similar to yours, I understand what you're going through. Please remember to care for yourself.
niyad
(130,673 posts)hugggs, and remember we are always here.
IbogaProject
(5,714 posts)And good wishes on you both holding up emotionally. Please speak of the strengths of simply covering everyone and how it really smooths care in emergencies and with serious situations.
nocoincidences
(2,483 posts)If you need, you are among a large group of the most compassionate and helpful people you will ever encounter. All in one place!!
Deuxcents
(26,127 posts)For the best possible results so you can get on with your happy lives together. 🌺
gademocrat7
(11,852 posts)to you and your wife. Take care. We are with you on this journey.💙🤗
Joinfortmill
(20,548 posts)Buddyzbuddy
(2,342 posts)Speaking from experience, it sounds as though you're doing everything you can for her, just being present. It can be her greatest comfort. One bit of unsolicited advice, take a moment for yourself, to recharge. It's easy to become so focused on your wife that you forget to eat and rest. You might underestimate the stress that takes a physical toll on you.
I wish you both well.
Exp
(832 posts)cate94
(3,066 posts)You are both going through this. Cancer is hard.
godsentme
(223 posts)Healing light and peace to you both. 🙌
highplainsdem
(60,961 posts)It sounds like your wife is getting good care, and I hope to hear she's doing better soon.
As was mentioned above, it's important that you take good care of yourself, too.
We're here for you.
RussBLib
(10,475 posts)Shes probably better off in England than back in the states, considering the healthcare systems, and especially with he-who-shall-not-be-named in office.
Waves of healing.
brer cat
(27,454 posts)Stay strong and positive, and spend as much time as you can with her. It truly makes a difference.
stage left
(3,244 posts)Big hugs to both of you to help pull you through.
J.
bdamomma
(69,360 posts)Layzeebeaver, and your love. We are here for you.
HeartsCanHope
(1,568 posts)Sending healing vibes and much love to your wife, you, and your families. You will all be in my thoughts.
Figarosmom
(10,643 posts)Where care isthe top priority. Just take it day by day and make each day the best you can. Best wishes vfor you both.
niyad
(130,673 posts)possible outcome. Know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need. There is always someone here.
hugggggggggs
area51
(12,599 posts)My prayers & thoughts are with you and your wife. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome.
UpInArms
(54,509 posts)Hoping for a good outcome for your wife and that you stay strong
My virtual arms are around you
