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edbermac

(16,432 posts)
Fri Mar 13, 2026, 10:07 PM 20 hrs ago

If it were only true.

WASHINGTON—Further fueling speculation that the commander-in-chief might have undisclosed medical conditions, rumors regarding President Trump’s health swirled Friday after he screamed, “Fuck! I’m dying!” during a press conference.

“Fuck! I’m fucking dying! Oh God, it hurts! Ahhhhhhh!” Trump said in response to a question about the ongoing war in Iran, sparking fervent discussion among Beltway insiders over whether the president wincing in pain while clutching his chest and screaming, “I see the light, I see the light,” could potentially signal a serious illness he had failed to share with the public. “Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! This is it! Here I go! I can feel my body shutting down! Jesus Christ, it’s all over!”

At press time, additional concerns about the president’s health emerged after paramedics were spotted lifting Trump’s body into a body bag, zipping it up, and wheeling it out of the West Wing on a stretcher.

https://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-after-trump-screams-fuck-im-dying/

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If it were only true. (Original Post) edbermac 20 hrs ago OP
You're teasing us. SheltieLover 20 hrs ago #1
Damn you, The Onion writers! Why do you torment us? Ocelot II 20 hrs ago #2
A sparkling moment of hope! And then I saw the link! niyad 20 hrs ago #3
I'm getting better. Norrrm 19 hrs ago #4
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