Top FEMA official claims he was once teleported to a waffle house

[red dog 1]

In an unearthed video, the head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery genuinely claims he was once teleported 50 miles to a Waffle House:

"Teleporting is no fun ... You don’t really understand it. It’s scary but so real."

— FactPost (@factpostnews.bsky.social) 2026-03-20T17:28:18.780617647Z

This top FEMA official, who believes he has been teleported against his will to places like a Waffle House and a ditch, will be testifying before Congress next week. www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

— Mueller, She Wrote (@muellershewrote.com) 2026-03-20T18:42:40.521Z

https://cnn.com/2026/03/20/politics/fema-official-gregg-phillips-violent-rhetoric-teleported-kfile

[eppur_se_muova]

1. Off-label rum will do that.

Or so I've heard.

[Journeyman]

3. And all gins . . .

Especially those kept near to the floor.

[oldsoldierfadingfast]

7. Have laughed so hard...

at this and another post that my insides hurt. Gotta sign out and go lay down for a nap to regain my composure.

[Swede]

13. ...and then the lights went out, and I guess that's when she rolled me.

[rampartd]

2. 50 miles seems about right

one night years ago i drank several shots of tequila and woke up in a french quarter bar. i always blamed it on "abducted by aliens," but teleportation ..... may be....

[Orrex]

4. All in all, I suppose there are worse teleportation destinations.

[MineralMan]

8. "Morning!"

Standard greeting when you walk into a Waffle House. My standard order there includes, "Hold the grits, please."

[Orrex]

5. He was also quoted as saying "let's go! Move! Catch me, if you can!"

[Jilly_in_VA]

6. What was he smoking?

Or drinking at the time? Inquiring minds &c.

[GenThePerservering]

9. If he had been stoned, he would have KNOWN

he was going to a Waffle house, probably planning extra butter and syrup. So I'll go with too much Sterno.

[UTUSN]

10. Hey! - perfect fit for KRASNOV's job descriptions!

[struggle4progress]

11. "What I can still remember about drinking with Pete Hegseth"

We drank some and then drank some more and then more and still more and suddenly everything was all blacked out and then we were at what seemed to be a Waffle House

[jmowreader]

14. You do of course realize...

Toby Keith is fixin' to release his new song any day now, "I'll Never Drink Jack With Pete Hegseth Again."

[struggle4progress]

15. +

[jmowreader]

12. I've heard a lot of strange excuses as to why someone ate at Waffle House...

...but this one takes the cake. Christ dude, just tell the nice people you had a hankerin' for an order of hash browns with ham, cheese and onions. Those are pretty good and no one will judge you for it.

[AZJonnie]

16. Listening to the whole thing, it wasn't just him, he was in his car, flying through the air

Dude, that ain't teleportation

Oh, and also, that did not happen

[Vinca]

17. Aw, c'mon. If you're going to be teleported anywhere, why not a waffle house?

Is this guy a DEI hire? He seems a bit "challenged" to me.