Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations

[milestogo]

‘Lower Your Prices Now Or Face The Might Of The American Military,’ Says Commander-In-Chief



++++++++++++ SATIRE ++++++++++++

Published: March 20, 2026

WASHINGTON—In a promise to address the pain Americans were feeling at the pump as his war with Iran approached its fourth week, President Donald Trump threatened Friday to launch airstrikes against U.S. gas stations if they did not lower their prices. “These terrible places must stop overcharging Americans every time they put fuel in their car, or I will have no choice but to unleash a massive bombing campaign against them,” Trump said during a White House press briefing, stating that he had already asked the U.S. Navy to send aircraft carriers to regions where American gas stations operate. “Someone told me the price of unleaded gasoline in our country has risen 32% in the past month.

Can you believe that? So I have instructed our intelligence community to provide me with a list of targets among the QuikTrips, 7-Elevens, and Kum & Go’s, and Casey’s General Stores responsible for this outrageous situation, and if they do not comply immediately, they will face total destruction.” The president went on to criticize gas stations for raising prices at a time when the nation was engaged in a major military operation overseas, saying there would be no war profiteering on his watch.

https://theonion.com/trump-threatens-airstrikes-on-u-s-gas-stations/

[lame54]

1. Satire or prediction?

[a kennedy]

4. It's from the Onion right??

But ya never know with this orange piece of shit. 🤬

[wendyb-NC]

2. Oh got me again

The Onion, lol. These days it's not far from everything else he does.

[Maninacan]

3. Onion

The thin green line.

[AllaN01Bear]

5. turn off the sanctions dunkoff and end this stuipd war.

[SheltieLover]

6. Glad it's the Onion

With slob, one never knows!

[doc03]

7. With this nut job no matter how ridiculous the sarcasm is I thought

it may true.