Markwayne Mullin Gonna Be DHS's Daddy, Pop Some Butt! -- Marcie Jones - Wonkette

[erronis]

https://www.wonkette.com/p/markwayne-mullin-gonna-be-dhss-daddy

Round up some murder coverup probably too, ayup.

Welp, last night the Senate voted to confirm their colleague Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma as top cowboy hat and belt buckle of the Department of Homeland Security, with a vote of 54-45 and Sen. John Fetterman, D-turncoat PA and also the single decisive vote to get Mullin out of committee, plus Sen. Martin Heinrich, D-Roswell NM Mystery Spot, both supporting him. Rand Paul of Kentucky, his bones still all wonky from the beatdown years ago at the fists of his psycho neighbor that Mullin had once cheered, stood his ground on no.

The cackling and springy-boinging noises you hear are Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski humping off into the sunset with their bags of kickback dollars and dicks, leaving behind corpses, maybe stains on the sex plane upholstery, and $220 million worth of horsey-ride videos that some intern probably shot with their iPhone.

Now Markwayne Mullin's hammering up his horseshoe over the door of that fumigated plane! Reckon he's as good as any other unqualified dipshit Trump would pick, which is to say, not. All the MAGA trimmings: a fake-elector supporting election-denying traitor who cowered as Capitol Police defended his life and shot Ashli Babbitt.

Guy without much book-learnin', a two-year degree in Construction who'd likely still be installing toilets for his family plumbing concern were it not for the Republican Party and conservative-radio airwaves giving his Oklahoma-everyman House Talk views on life and plumbing a platform that he ball-floated into a career of politicking.

His one core value has never changed, said former classmate Troy Littledeer. It is that Markwayne Mullin will say whatever lie happens to be expedient for Markwayne Mullin! Also ps., he is barely literate.

Mullin was the same then as he is now. He believed he was right. Not that you were wrong. That distinction matters. A person who thinks you are wrong is engaging with you. A person who simply believes he is right has already moved past you. He was already talking before you finished. He was already certain before the facts arrived. That is not confidence. That is a habit. And habits do not require thought. That is exactly what makes them dangerous.

I have watched this man operate for years from a place I know better than he knows it himself, which is saying something because he grew up here too. I have watched him claim the Trail of Tears as his family's story and then edit that claim out of his own website when someone asked a follow-up question. The Cherokee Phoenix reported the discrepancy in November 2018. The language disappeared. No correction was issued. He said the original wording was imprecise. He did not provide his ancestors' names when asked.

I have watched him insert legislative language targeting the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee Indians [...] he publicly claimed as his own, into a federal appropriations bill that nobody was supposed to find. [...] The man who sent the language to the federal government needed the federal government's own lawyers to explain it.

. . .

[UTUSN]

1. K&R

[Sneederbunk]

2. Cowboy hat? Check. Cowboy boots? Check

Does he/did he own a dog?

[erronis]

4. Did he shoot the dog and write a memoir about it?

Pickup truck?
Missing a salt shaker?

[Mysterian]

3. Will not end well for anyone

Placing another idiot in charge will result in another clown show.