Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying

[edbermac]

AUSTIN, TX—A star who has experienced a meteoric rise in right-wing circles, 28-year-old conservative phenom Mason Finley is known solely for wearing a Nazi armband and crying, sources confirmed Tuesday.

“Finley amassed millions of conservative viewers on his Discord channel, where the up-and-coming young GOP figure uploaded videos in which he is seen sobbing alone in a room as he sits with a swastika strapped to his arm,” said Republican strategist Gary Woodfall, claiming that despite being virtually unknown even a few months ago, the teary-eyed young man who wears Nazi memorabilia has already appeared at CPAC as well as Turning Point USA summits.

“Something about the way he never stops crying and openly identifies as a Nazi has really struck a chord with the GOP rank and file. They see a lot of themselves in Finley when he blubbers and gives his weak little ‘Sieg heil’ salutes.”

At press time, Finley’s popularity within the Republican Party had reportedly reached a fever pitch after he was seen bawling his eyes out and getting an SS symbol tattooed on his neck.

https://theonion.com/rising-conservative-star-just-guy-wearing-nazi-armband-1849855062/

[SoFlaBro]

1. MAGA's filled to the brim with rapists, pedophiles, and assorted scumbags. Piss on the whole fucking hill of shitstains.

[Keepthesoulalive]

2. You forgot crazy cosplaying jerks

Who have to become more outrageous because daddy trump is no longer paying them.

[Mz Pip]

3. The Onion

Still, it’s hard to tell these days.

[hardluck]

4. Should run for office in Maine

(Yes, I know it's the Onion).

[DBoon]

5. This is weird enough to be real

[MustLoveBeagles]

6. I thought it was

Until I saw the link.

[Aristus]

7. Satire: Still dead...

n/t