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A psychologist specializing in narcissists on how to stop [Redacted]
This is a very well-written, clearly explained essay on how successfully handling toxic narcissists in a family/personal setting can be scaled up to deal with toxic narcissists in positions of political or social power.
One key here is to get at least ONE major media outlet to commit to using these techniques consistently and persistently:
I’m A Psychologist Who Specializes In Narcissists. Here’s What We Need To Do To Stop Trump.
"I think of one of my patients when she discovered her brother was terrorizing their elderly mother with violent threats and financial abuse. When she named the harm, he flipped the script — denying everything and accusing her of being unstable, all while fiercely protecting his “golden boy” image. Under family pressure to stay quiet, she spiraled into rumination. But armed with awareness and support, she stood firm. Like a broken record, she calmly named the harm until her boundary held. It came at a cost, but her brother was eventually removed from their mother’s home.
...
Of the dizzying array of tactics, perhaps the most effective is crisis manufacturing. The constant emergencies aren’t flukes — they’re by design. They keep everyone in survival mode, distracting from deeper issues and ensuring the narcissist stays at the center of attention and control. For my patients who have survived narcissistic abuse, it might be an explosive tantrum, a threat to seek full custody or a frantic late-night call about a (fabricated) mugging. On the national stage, it takes the form of rhetorical escalations, legal threats or emergency declarations designed to dominate the news cycle and overwhelm opposition.
...
But recovery begins when people stop playing along or exhausting energy in cycles of infighting. Instead of spending precious bandwidth on disbelief or outrage, the goal is to name the tactic, call out the harm, cultivate trusted support and let go of what is beyond your control. Persistent engagement in shock, bargaining or rumination often reflects the mind’s attempt to delay the grief associated with profound loss — private and emotional for my patients, social and institutional for our country.
...
First: Stop enabling. Reactive efforts to clean up the damage often backfire, shielding narcissists from accountability and allowing them to retain influence. On a political level, this means pausing to strategize before rushing in to fix the narcissist’s mess. Strategic restraint — like that practiced by House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, who has been criticized for not “swinging at every pitch” — is not weakness. It’s discipline.
...
Of the dizzying array of tactics, perhaps the most effective is crisis manufacturing. The constant emergencies aren’t flukes — they’re by design. They keep everyone in survival mode, distracting from deeper issues and ensuring the narcissist stays at the center of attention and control. For my patients who have survived narcissistic abuse, it might be an explosive tantrum, a threat to seek full custody or a frantic late-night call about a (fabricated) mugging. On the national stage, it takes the form of rhetorical escalations, legal threats or emergency declarations designed to dominate the news cycle and overwhelm opposition.
...
But recovery begins when people stop playing along or exhausting energy in cycles of infighting. Instead of spending precious bandwidth on disbelief or outrage, the goal is to name the tactic, call out the harm, cultivate trusted support and let go of what is beyond your control. Persistent engagement in shock, bargaining or rumination often reflects the mind’s attempt to delay the grief associated with profound loss — private and emotional for my patients, social and institutional for our country.
...
First: Stop enabling. Reactive efforts to clean up the damage often backfire, shielding narcissists from accountability and allowing them to retain influence. On a political level, this means pausing to strategize before rushing in to fix the narcissist’s mess. Strategic restraint — like that practiced by House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, who has been criticized for not “swinging at every pitch” — is not weakness. It’s discipline.
Much more at the link or in the more readable blog version of Dr. Sze's article. At least one major media source needs to commit to "gray rocking" - "becoming sturdy and repetitive — not reactive or maximalist — a boring target for someone addicted to power. Reacting with hyperbole or hysteria only emboldens narcissists. Deny them the fuel they seek. This is hard work. But it’s how an abuser loses power." plus boundary setting - "working together to reestablish constitutional guardrails such as due process, checks and balances, and freedom of speech".
And commit to the long game. There are no magic wands here, no instant remedies. But there is also no inevitable catastrophe. We are in transition to what this nation is becoming, and if we can stay strong, steady and united agains the constant barrage, we DO have some control over what that will be.
determinedly,
Bright
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