Colorado columnist: Assault rifle owners have ‘tiny penises’ - Fox 31 Denver

[farminator3000]

“To me, those Hummer owners were a lot like gun owners,” Hartley writes. “They had an inflated sense of their own self-importance, and they thought owning a massive tank-like vehicle made them somehow more virile and masculine.”

Hartley asserts that consumers did a 180 when “the rest of us pointed out that owning a Hummer was an obvious sign of a person making up for a physical shortcoming.”

At that point, Hartley continues, “Hummer went out of business virtually overnight.”

That doesn’t mean Hartley is prepared to lump all gun owners into the same boat. He gives a pass to those who own a handgun “to protect your home and your family,” and to those who own a rifle or shot gun “for hunting or target shooting.”

It’s only the possession of a “pseudo-machine gun” that proves “you have a tiny wiener and you’re incredibly self-conscious about it,” in Hartley’s estimation.

Hartley did not excuse females who own such weapons from the same criticism.
http://kdvr.com/2012/12/28/colorado-columnist-assault-rifle-owners-have-tiny-penises/

***

Now, I know a lot of you are probably saying to yourselves, “But Todd, plenty of women also own guns. What about them? Do they have small penises, too?”

My answer to that question would be: yes. Yes they do. Women who own assault weapons have tiny penises, just like their male counterparts. That would explain why they're angry enough to buy a weapon whose sole purpose is to kill as many people as possible as quickly as possible.
http://www.aspentimes.com/article/20121228/COLUMN/121229911/1021&parentprofile=1061

Todd Hartley hopes the NRA doesn't sabotage his bid to join the local PTA. To read more or leave a comment, please visit www.zerobudget.net.

[Erose999]

1. I will cosign this statement. The psychological need for weapons indicates a deep insecurity. Its

definitely begging the question... what are you so afraid of?

[BainsBane]

184. they are incredibly fearful

which I find astounding. They talk about danger lurking around every corner, and many of these people are fully grown men. I'm a middle-aged woman who lives alone in the inner city and have never felt the need for a gun. I handle myself just fine without one.

No one has yet explained to me why it is they are afraid so often.

[otohara]

2. The Comments

are so fucking predictable.

Just reading their comments scare me, and they own guns. But, they're responsible mind you....nice folks.

[bluedigger]

3. Public shaming was effective in reducing the marketability of Hummers because it was public.

I don't see this as being anywhere near as effective a tactic against closets full of wanna-be military rifles and internet tough guys.

[derby378]

40. This isn't even public shaming - it's just more catty hate speech, that's all

Trying to shame people for exercising their Constitutional rights? I'd direct someone who was trying that to listen to Know Your Rights by The Clash one more time.

[bongbong]

74. Constitutional rights?

Which one? The 2nd Amendment is about state militias. You can't be talking about that one!

[derby378]

83. Man, you've got a LOT of catching up to do

Start with DC v. Heller and work your way through the curriculum, and Devil take the hindmost...

[bongbong]

94. I caught up!

I read this article, which shows all the errors and lies in the Standard NRA Gospel.

http://www.saf.org/LawReviews/SpitzerChicago.htm

[derby378]

119. Obsolete - try again

Again, the Heller decision might help.

[bongbong]

129. It's like Dred Scott

A conservative opinion by a conservative court, overturning decades of precedent.

Just a matter of time until the repigs on the court get replaced and Heller joins Dred Scott in the hall of shame, and overturned decisions.

[GoneOffShore]

234. We live in hope that someday Heller will be regarded that way

And the 2nd Amendment will no longer just be used as a shield for those who wish to exercise their desire for bigger, louder, faster, and deadlier weapons as opposed to the "well regulated militia" part which seems to be increasingly ignored.

[Bake]

241. Until SCOTUS says otherwise, it's the law of the land.

You may not like it, but it's still the law of the land.


Bake

[graham4anything]

203. Thomas Jefferson gave up his rights to his rights to slaves, when Lincoln signed the 13th

am sick and tired of wrong readings or pronouncements by a corrupt court ruining my right to assemble peacefully and my right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness
especially as ALL are equal, not just all men who acted like Thomas Jefferson did

Just because Jefferson had slaves, does that mean we all should too? And abuse them and all like Thomas Jefferson did?

I like this article it is true.

The thing I always wonder though-
when push comes to shove and its 3am and there is an intruder in a dark room with a gun pointed at someones head, what makes someone think they have the guts to use that gun they supposedly have safely put away(so as not to shoot the kids after a bad dream, or a spouse who went to the bathroom, or a teenage kid out on a date arriving 2 hours late), so how do they get the gun in time for it to be any good?

and as they think they need are not person enough to deal with a problem they paranoid like
have 24/7/365 in the first place, as real men would walk away and live to see another day, which is what Mr. Trey Martin would have done if that coward didn't shoot him dead in cold blood (and oddly enough, Mr. Martin should have had a gun and use it against Zimmy as he was protecting himself)but Mr. Martin was a real man and didn't need to carry a weapon not realizing that asshole vigilantes were lying in wait to kill him
no private citizen needs a gun in the street.

but as not to ruin their day, they can keep one in their home, and put a sign outside saying
scarredycat inside has gun and is up 24/7/365 forever so no one come in please

like the KKK, eventually they were laughed at, margionalized and spit on in public
Of course if you spit on a gunowner, they will say they were being murdered and used their gun to protect themselves

Only people that need guns are the law enforcement of state,local and federal, nationalguard
and possibly private security guards protecting someone who needs to be protected.
Those people don't randomly kill anyone anyhow, so they are not the problem.

but those people also can leave their guns at work at end of each shift, pick them up the next day. They don't need to have them 24/7/365.If their life is in danger, they can call a cop themselves.

90% of people used to smoke. Now 90% don't.

[PavePusher]

139. Please cite to this "Right of a militia". n/t

[bongbong]

145. Hmmm....

> Please cite to this "Right of a militia".

I never posted what you put in quotes.

[PavePusher]

153. It's very much what you were alluding to in #74. n/t

[bongbong]

157. Yawno

You put it in quotes.

Do you know what that means?

[Disgraceland]

130. Profoundly misguided

There's no reason whatsoever not to "shame people for exercising their Constitutional rights." How is that any different than shaming someone for protected opinions that society at large deems noxious? That's what we do all the time. That's part of what having an open society is about. We don't only use to laws to guide behavior--we also look down on some things. That's life. Just because it is currently legal to own certain kinds of firearms doesn't grant you protection from other people thinking you are an idiot. Just as you aren't protected from that when you utter protected but unpopular speech.

Your position is essentially that baby-like gun owners should be shielded from -gasp- other people's disapproval or mockery.

Equally misguided is your equation of all gun-ownership with second amendment guarantees. Clearly there exists the constitutional possibility of, for example, (another) ban on "assault" weapons. IF enough people find them without social value, such laws will likely pass (again).

Your equation of people laughing at gun owners with actual hate speech is just plainly offensive. Someone makes fun of someone's manhood and they're then like a black family getting a cross burned on their lawn? Man the fuck up.

[derby378]

133. You first...

I've been active on Second Amendment issues for probably two decades ongoing, and I've never seen the level of bitter invective against gun owners that I see now. You think this is just about anatomical jokes or mere disapproval? Come on. Take a good look around you and see if you consider some of the screeds "laughing."

If you honestly think I can't handle criticism about gun ownership, I wish you could have met my wife. That would have settled your hash in a minute.

[Disgraceland]

136. Let me call you a Waaahmbulance.

Laughing OK, but save me from "screeds" and bitterness.

[ThatPoetGuy]

138. "I've never seen the level of bitter invective against gun owners that I see now."

Yes, and we apologize for not doing more. For decades, liberals have stayed silent and allowed the most vicious, dishonest, and extreme elements of our society to dominate the discourse around guns.

There should have been bitter invective.

There should have been outrage every time a right-wing lie was spouted.

DU should have banned the 3% of its members who are utterly unable to think for themselves because GunMania has fried their brains.

Ridiculous and idiotic notions like "no one should be shamed for exercising their Constitutional rights" should have gotten people sneered at and called terrrible names. When a racist exercises his or her Constitutional rights, I shame them, and so do most liberals; we don't remove their right to free speech, we respond with better speech.

And yes, insulting the gun-lovers is better speech.

It can make a better world, just as insulting racists can make a better world.

[derby378]

149. Reality check...

Harassing and terrorizing people because of their race is not protected by the Constitution - we prosecute those acts as hate crimes. But you already knew that.

[shadowrider]

172. I don't post much on argumentative threads

because I don't want to be called names and have posts hidden. Instead, I look at what is actually happening in the real world to see the success, or lack thereof, in every day gun control measures actually enacted.

Illinois announced a gun confiscation plan. It died in committee because it did not have the support of down state Democrats. Chicago needs to understand, Illinois does not end at I-80.

For all the gnashing of teeth about gun control, very few, if any, have actually done anything about it. They post online, complain, call people names, then log off only to log on tomorrow and continue the complaining.

I'm done arguing with them.

[PavePusher]

141. Black families often defended themselves with firearms, and still do so today.

"Man the fuck up", indeed.

Stop hating.

[Eleanors38]

185. You are legitimizing hate and you know it. Admit it.

[Scootaloo]

151. Yes yes, those poor, persecuted heavily-armed-white-men

There ought to be a charity.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

235. Or Guns of Brixton.

[HappyMe]

4. Really?

This 'small penis' argument is about the stupidest argument ever. It adds nothing to the discussion. It makes me wonder about why people keep dragging genitalia into what should be a serious discussion.

[KurtNYC]

11. To the man haters of the world, testosterone and penis size explain EVERYTHING n/t

[seabeyond]

17. man wrote the article, it is mostly men i hear argue this and a man posted this article. self hate?

[closeupready]

86. Could be a man who hates having a penis.

Or more likely, as Occam's Razor would suggest, he's simply stupid/pretentious.

That is, trying to sound smart in his funky glasses and black turtleneck, but sounding ignorant instead.

[seabeyond]

102. probably but i was addressing " man haters of the world", this. nt

[closeupready]

110. Ah, okay, got it.

[dawg]

92. You're right that it's mostly men who bring this up.

I wonder whether it is mostly largely-endowed men who make these comments in order to make themselves feel superior, or if it is smaller-built men who are making the comments in order to deflect their own feelings of inferiority? Either way, they seem to have just as many issues as the Hummer drivers. (Although they do spend less on gas.)

[seabeyond]

103. i really do not think so. another phenomena i have noted

is overweight people or ugly people (mostly me, lol) insult fat and ugly people. that generally has me droppin' my jaw. so, because they are discussing this, i would never give them they are well endowed. i do not think that is what it is about. character, not anatomy.

[dawg]

106. There was this boy who lived in the same hall as me in the old college dorm ...

Every time he insulted someone, he called them "tomato-head". None of us had ever heard that insult before. At first, we just chalked it up to him being from the North and most of the rest of us being from Georgia. Things were just different up there, we guessed.

Then, one day, we took a good hard look at his head.

It was wide and short. It was flat on the top.

It was shaped like a tomato.

He was the tomato-head. I guess he probably heard that all his life.

[seabeyond]

109. interesting. so what hurt them, they hurl back. interesting. so men can take from this,

whoever is claiming not largely endowed might be very well sharing something private.

lol

hmmm. see how brilliant you are.

[yardwork]

79. The only people I ever hear comment on penis size are men.

It's true that sometimes women comment on testosterone, but I've never heard a woman talk about penis size. Invariably, when penis size is brought up, it's a man commenting on it.

This column was written by a man and appears to have been posted by a man.

[KurtNYC]

146. and why does he NEED to write such a BIG column ?

making up for something else perhaps?

[yardwork]

176. I have no idea. I've never understood men's preoccupations with penises.

I'm not being snarky. I've often wondered why this is so important to so many men. As the mother of two boys, I wonder if either of them has ever been teased or felt inadequate. I have no idea if they have or not - it's not something that they would discuss with their mother.

Girls tease one another about breast size when they are young, and I suppose that many women continue to feel inadequate and that explains why so many people get breast augmentations. And many women - and an increasing number of young men - have eating disorders resulting from worries about their bodies.

It's sad. Of all the things to worry about in the world, it seems like a very unnecessary, cruel thing that we put on one another.

[BainsBane]

182. evidently gun companies are also man haters

according to your definition: http://www.businessinsider.com/how-bushmaster-advertised-semiautomatic-used-in-connecticut-massacre-2012-12

[earthside]

32. It is so obvious.

'Small penis' being used allegorically for those males especially with a masculine identity deficit.

The gun idolators and the gun fetishists (ie., those who have an obsession ... collecting scores of guns; stockpiling large amounts of ammunition; owning military-style guns; thinking that guns are the ultimate solution; those who fantasize about being 'Batman' and rescuing the distressed with their gun; etc.) clearly have some kind of peculiar neurosis.

I don't even understand why this premise is in dispute.

[HappyMe]

42. And all this armchair,

Monday morning quarterback "analysis" helps gun control how....?
Maybe it just makes the "analysts" feel better about themselves.

[PavePusher]

144. Except that it's not being used "allegorically", it's being promoted as truth....

and with no medical evidence whatsoever.

No, you wouldn't understand, would you?

It's probably more accurate to claim that blowhards and pompus asses on the internet have small brains. Certainly the anecdotal evidence would appear to be stronger.

[Eleanors38]

186. Peoole who bring up penis often are insecure about their own sexuality.

Are you in that quandry?

[derby378]

50. And it's anatomically incorrect, too

A quick reread of the OP confirms it. These people are so desperate to grab our guns that they'll say anything. I think they're about the break down!

They could use some hot chocolate and a warm puppy.

[HappyMe]

60. I don't know about that.

I find it the constant blather about penis size and guns truly creepy and counter-productive. Like a kid stomping their foot and calling another kid a name.

I can't wait until all gun threads get dumped back into the gungeon.

[RC]

84. Out of sight, out of mind - Till the next "lone nut" massacre, brings the exact same conversations.

Nothing will change until we realistically deal with the arsenals in too many basements and the people that think they need them for any reason.
The problem is not the lone nut, it is too many guns of all kinds, that is the problem. This country is awash in guns.
We cannot afford to let Sandy Hook go down the memory hole. If we do, those kids would have been murdered in vain. This is truly one time where we need to think of the children for the greater good of the entire country.
This country is so gun happy, we start wars on innocent people, in 3rd world countries, in the name of fighting for our freedom.
What bullshit we fantasize for ourselves! Freedom my ass, it is fear and more fear that is being pedaled in the name of profits for the few. And we don't share in that profit. We only share in the deaths caused.

[closeupready]

88. Nobody - here or elsewhere - wants to have that conversation.

So it's a nice idea, but it will never ever ever go anywhere.

[HappyMe]

90. Reasonable discussion, sure.

Garbage like this OP...not so much. I honestly tried to read some of the trash canned gun threads. Most of them disintegrated into insult fests. That's when I started trashing them.

Besides, a bunch of people arguing on the internet doesn't accomplish anything.

[derby378]

85. I'm afraid the Two-Minutes Hate is going to continue on for a while longer

But yes, I'd love to see everyone on GD take a breath and return to normal. Including me.

[Mojorabbit]

140. It totally creeps me out also.

It is like being in second grade and my opinion of anyone who uses this type of argument drops to the basement when I hear it.

[aquart]

73. Has any gun massacre occurred with a short-barreled gun? You know, snub-nosed?

Let's see: Long-barreled guns, massive multiple ejaculations, men overwhelmingly being the perpetrators...

KINDA HARD NOT TO NOTICE.

Seriously, a tiny dick is NOT the end of the world. Skill works wonders.

[HappyMe]

95. .....

[NickB79]

137. Virginia Tech: two short-barreled handguns

The worst mass shooting in US history.

Hell, one handgun was a .22LR, about the weakest caliber you can buy short of a pellet gun.

[Coyotl]

5. I thought it was no longer PC to bash the micropenis people!

Or are we talking about the four-inchers

Micropenis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropenis

What is a Micropenis? http://www.news-medical.net/health/What-is-Micropenis.aspx

[Trajan]

6. Pure Gungeon material

It's time to stop placing Guns Forum threads into the General Discussion forum ...

[closeupready]

89. Yes, and I will stop subscribing to DU if it continues.

Simple as that.

[OregonBlue]

7. I agree completely with the columnist. People who need these guns are obviously

compensating for something and I have always suspected it's their very small penis and the accompanying "small man complex".

[HappyMe]

14. Fabulous critical thinking there.

Good grief!

[Eleanors38]

187. Someone takes Psych 101 and they think they're Freud. Mediocre.

[snooper2]

8. heard on the radio the other day the largest ever recorded was 13.5 inches

and the biggest vagina was 19 inches...


Do we have to scale down from those numbers or what's the starting point

[valerief]

96. Around?

[krispos42]

9. 9mpg and $4 gas of course were not factors...

[locks]

10. thanks

Great column! Thanks

[hack89]

12. I'll have to let my wife and daughter know that

They just spent a morning breaking in my daughter's new AR-15.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

21. Sounds like their beef is with Bushmaster.

[TheCowsCameHome]

13. So someone with a Hummer and an assault rifle....

oh, wow, they must have a real problem.

[Glassunion]

54. An innie?

[Disgraceland]

15. Better point might be: gun makers agree..customers are insecure, emasculated

Easy enough to blow off this argument, but maybe gun owners should know, this is exactly what gun manufacturers think of them. See the Bushmaster ad campaign about getting your "man card."

Hardly need to make the case when the gun nuts make it for themselves.

[link:http://www.salon.com/2012/12/17/bushmasters_horrible_ad_campaign/|

[link:http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/bushmasters-shockingly-awful-man-card-campaign|

http://www.salon.com/2012/12/17/bushmasters_horrible_ad_campaign/
http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/bushmasters-shockingly-awful-man-card-campaign

[farminator3000]

23. you had to go and play the MAN CARD...

well played! (and said)

are you new here?

[cherokeeprogressive]

16. This obsession with penii is very telling

[loli phabay]

18. well mine is the perfect size for me. not even sure if the writer has seen mine to judge.

[PavePusher]

41. The author needs to do a head-space check.

I volunteer the depth-gauge....

[sarisataka]

19. So if...

I drive a Vespa and own a sling shot...

[loli phabay]

20. then you would crash a lot as you would have major balance problems.

[sarisataka]

24. Oooo, that would hurt

[loli phabay]

27. at least you could use it as a stand when stopped as well

[seabeyond]

47. bah hahah. and

i am glad yours is perfect for you and no way was i replying to you in that other thread, lol, and .....






to you, too....

[loli phabay]

63. rofl yup i broke my rule about discussing professional stuff.

[Recursion]

22. Or it means they realize that an "assault weapon" is no different from a hunting rifle

unlike people who freak out at the very sight of them?

[farminator3000]

25. i think people would freak out if guys walked around with their penises hanging out

so there's that.

also, you can't commit mass murders with your penis.

at least i can't!

[Recursion]

28. Hell, that's just Adams Morgan on a Tuesday night

When we have people carrying rifles around regularly, I would understand freaking out.

There was that tea party guy a few years ago who carried his AR-15 to protests. What interested me most about that was the fact that he was African American and the media never showed his face. I guess that counters too many narratives on too many sides.

[Eleanors38]

188. Well put.

[Eleanors38]

189. Well, if they are "hanging out," it kinda negates this stupid OP.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

26. It sounds funny, but there might be a bit of truth in this. Compensation through guns....

huge tires, huge cars, etc.

[loli phabay]

29. doubt it. most guys dont fret over size just if it gets used is all that matters

At least once you leave high school.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

31. How do you know right wingers don't? Don't they freak out about all kinds of insane bs? nt

[loli phabay]

33. seems everyone freaks over all sorts of insane bs regardless of culture or politics

Plus you do realise that both sexes and people of all political stripes own guns. Speaking for myself as a gun owner and a suv owner im perfectly happy with the size of my penis and never had any complaints and i dont thinknim the exception to the rule.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

39. Aaaaah, a gun owner. Had to be. nt

[loli phabay]

64. yup use them for work for pest control and to put food on the table

And my penis is perfect

[Sarah Ibarruri]

162. Pest control??? What kind of pests? Elephants?

As to food on the table - I use a supermarket - Publix - it's quite good! I'm small and a woman, but I've never had to go out and kill to feed myself and my family. Of course, I live in 2013.

[loli phabay]

165. your welcome to the supermarket i got deer squirrels rabbits and all sorts out here

So we got lots of meat just running around.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

166. So with you it's a choice, not a necessity. nt

[loli phabay]

169. define neccesity. since i like to eat venison and rabbit i either hunt and trap them

Or i pay someone else to kill and dress them. Personally i like to know where my food comes from.

[Eleanors38]

190. Yes you do kill, sarah. Your farms extirpate whole species, and distort ecosystems.

Agriculture is squeezing out many species. But you don't have to do the dirty work.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

216. I'm not saying I don't eat meat, and I'm with you that agriculture is squeezing out species, so is

suburban sprawl.

I am, however, saying that guns are a danger to human beings.

[sir pball]

228. An assault weapon,

Or even a military (fully automatic, 30 round in five seconds) assault rifle, will just piss off an elephant.

For something like that you need one of these:



Completely inoffensive...and will kill any creature on Earth with one round.

[HockeyMom]

36. Bigger is better

Just part of the American Culture; from the biggest newborn, to the biggest cars and houses, to the biggest guns. Americans want BIG.

As a tiny woman (5'1, 100 lbs.), I have never wanted bigger anything, or something (like a gun) to make me feel BIG and POWERFUL.

[loli phabay]

38. lol i thought this comment was going to be about penises

[Sarah Ibarruri]

43. Same here. I'm a tiny woman as well, and apparently I'm braver than these male gun owners who

seem to need semi-automatic weapons to protect themselves from being hassled, threatened, mistreated, and whatever else they're imagining in those warped brains of theirs.

[hack89]

70. What about those of us that do not own guns for protection?

how do we fit into the scheme of things?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

160. Are you a hunter? And do you need a semi-automatic to feed yourself? lol nt

[hack89]

164. No - competitive target shooter.

My entire family - wife, son and daughter compete with me.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

167. Ah ok. Still. Why don't you take up bowling instead? nt

[hack89]

171. Don't want to. nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

174. Ok, then don't whine that others assume the wrong things about you

Ok?

[hack89]

175. I don't whine - it is only a discussion board.

there is no reason to take anything personally here.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

177. Fine. We'll see how true that is about you. nt

[hack89]

199. Why do you have to be so untrusting and rude?

is it really that necessary?

[NCarolinawoman]

44. ....and the loudest most forceful leaf blowers, that aren't really

necessary for the task at hand.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

49. Yes lol omg you got me laughing here nt

[Zookeeper]

179. Seriously! Especially the clowns that destroy your hearing...

while they wear ear protection. Not to mention that a leaf blower takes twice as long as a rake to do the job.

[PavePusher]

30. I wonder if anyone can cite to actual medical studies that support this hypothesis.

I rather doubt it.

[farminator3000]

55. well, you asked. yes, i typed it into google!

US is tied for 7th with Venezuela!

all the countries HIGHER than us on the chart have STIFFER penalties, so its HARDER to get a gun!

[EOTE]

56. That assault gun owners have small penises?

That really wasn't meant to be taken literally. The author is suggesting that people who own things like assault weapons and hummers are compensating for their perceived inadequacies. And compensation is very, very real.

[nadinbrzezinski]

34. I can see the Hummer

In the ranch. But in the city they were just comedic.

We are looking at jeeps, due to where we cover stories...I need that capability.

[Marr]

35. I do notice lots of overt appeals to manhood in advertising, and it makes it wonder

where it comes from. Why are so many men apparently feeling so unsure of their own masculinity?

[EOTE]

37. I was lambasted here when I suggested the same thing, only in a much milder fashion.

And then I was accused of sexism and promoting a double standard. When I informed the angry gun owner that I am a man, he angrily berated me for not including that information in my profile (when my account transferred over to DU3, some of my details did not). It's very true. Any one who would purchase such a gun has loads of deficiencies. Saying that they have small penises is really letting them get off very easily. It would be more appropriate to call them sociopaths without whom the world would be a better place, but hearing that wouldn't make them less likely to own such a gun. Instead, attacking their manhood might actually make them think twice. Most real men don't give a fuck when someone says a decision they make means they have a small penis. Gun nuts DO. That's why attacks like this are effective.

[Union Scribe]

61. Probably because arguments like that are childish

and those making such asinine comments are dismissed by anyone interested in serious dialogue about gun policy.

[EOTE]

62. Childish, but it REALLY pisses off the gun nuts.

And once again, they don't give a fuck about massacres. Telling them that by owning an assault rife makes it much more likely that someone they know will be killed by it makes them MORE likely to own one. So obviously we can't argue with these idiots using facts and logic. So we hit them where it hurts the most. It's obvious by the advertising of these horrific things that gun manufacturers KNOW how incredibly insecure these idiots are of their manhood. Gun manufacturers go out of their way to tell these idiots that owning an assault rifle will make them a real man. So we have to fight that kind of idiocy by telling these people that buying assault weapons doesn't make them a man, in fact it's just the opposite. We know these are very insecure people, so we deal with them in the most appropriate way.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

67. So being called "baby killer" makes you oppose abortion?

It's fucking stupid when they do it. It's fucking stupid when we do it.

Their excuse is at least they're too fucking stupid to know any better.

[EOTE]

71. No, but it also doesn't bother me.

It makes me more sad about the person throwing the term around. Attacking the masculinity of the assault rifle owner, on the other hand, cuts right to their soul. Far more than any comment about them owning a gun being dangerous and that they're far more likely to kill an innocent or themselves than any delusions of protecting themselves. People who own such guns typically are not very rational, rationality has been tried on these folks for decades, it doesn't work.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

97. You're shitting me, right?

You claim to have intimate knowledge of what goes on in the soul of every gun owner, and then accuse THEM of not being very rational.

Okie dokie.

You've never pondered for a moment that a gun owner might hear a remark like that and think, "What an asshole," and then go off to the gun show?

[EOTE]

100. I know that people who own assault rifles are not very rational as a whole.

Yes, that is a fact. These are people who think that their right to own big-dick machinery like that trumps others' rights to their own lives. These weapons are NOT needed for self defense, that is utterly clear. These weapons are also far more likely to kill other innocent people than they are to provide anything in terms of self-defense or defense for others. Those are undeniable facts. Those who deny those facts so they can play Rambo and pose with their manly toys are utter idiots. Yes, plenty of gun nuts would hear my comments, comment that I'm an asshole and then go off to a gun show. But if I hadn't made those comments, they'd just go off to the gun show. So frankly I don't give much a damn if an insecure asshole calls me an asshole.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

104. You know why we don't make much progress on gun control?

You. Just as the you try to smear every gun owner as a lunatic, the NRA and its allies in Congress smear every attempt at gun control as hysterical blathering from people like you. There are millions of gun owners -- including members of the NRA -- who think the time has come for some common sense on gun control. We might be able to have a constructive dialog on this subject if people like you would keep your fucking penises out of the discussion.

"Plenty of gun nuts would hear my comments, comment that I'm an asshole and then go off to a gun show. But if I hadn't made those comments, they'd just go off to the gun show. So frankly I don't give much a damn if an insecure asshole calls me an asshole."

Since we're in agreement that your approach doesn't seem to have any practical effect, perhaps you'd care to dial it back a titch while the adults try to get something accomplished.

[EOTE]

107. You're not responding very rationally, and I think you know it.

You say that I'm trying to smear every gun owner as a lunatic when I've said over and over that I'm referring to owners of assault weapons. There is a humongous difference between owning a handgun or shotgun for defense and owning a weapon that can kill half a middle school in a minute or so. If you're going to try and smear me by suggesting that I'm the reason that reasonable gun control can't be passed, you could at least be somewhat honest about what I'm saying. Or do I need to defer to the "adults" with an overwhelming desire to play Rambo and earn their "man card" first?

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

112. Your hair-splitting is lost on most gun owners

Owning a AR-15 is compensating for a small penis, but somehow owning a double-barreled shotgun isn't? Even by your own shabby pseudo-logic, the argument is ridiculous, and most rational people (whether they own a gun or not) see it for what it is: a puerile attempt at debate. Statements like yours are ham-handed personal attacks, and most gun owners aren't going to say, "Oh, he's not talking about me. He's talking about my friend Joe." They're going to take offense, and it's hard to find common ground when one party is repeatedly insulting the other.

[EOTE]

116. Hair splitting? Do you not see the incredibly obvious difference?

Christ, I'd think that the gun nuts would understand more than the general public how incredibly different those things are. If you honestly think that suggesting that the difference between shot guns and AR-15s is "hair-splitting", then I'm not sure you're capable of rational debate. And there's a very simple method that gun owners can use to determine if I'm talking about them: Whether or not they own a fucking assault weapon. I even took the time to clarify what I mean by that. If gun nuts are really that incredibly daft, then there's no rational debate with them. That's OK, though. They don't need to be part of the debate, we can just listen to them squeal when new legislation is passed. We don't need the participation of those "adults".

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

122. Forget it...

Keep insinuating that gun owners are just a bunch of limp-dicked nancy boys. I'm sure you're going to get a lot of takers. I mean, it's worked so well for the last 30-40 years, I'm sure that with just a few more insults, they'll all come around to your way of thinking.

“A gun is psychologically a penis-substitute and a symbol of power: the age-range of toy-shop clientele begins at about six or seven, rises sharply just before puberty and declines soon after the discovery of the phallus and its promise of power. From then on, guns are for kids and for the effete freaks and misfits who must seek psycho-orgasmic relief by shooting pheasants.”

Adam Hall, The Quiller Revolution, 1966 (and it wasn't an original observation even then.)

[EOTE]

125. Not terribly rational, are you?

If you had the slightest bit of rationality, you wouldn't keep trotting out that lie that I'm talking about all gun owners. The fact that you can't get that simple fact down speaks very poorly to your ability to engage in rational debate.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

132. Was "rational" on your "New Word A Day Calendar" today?

Last edited Thu Jan 3, 2013, 06:15 PM - Edit history (1)

Let me dumb this down for you...

I have a cousin named Andy. He's a Democrat. He's a union dues-paying school teacher. He's a veteran of Desert Storm, a husband and father of two adorable children. He's also one of the most responsible, reliable people I know. And he owns an AR-15.

When you say dumb shit like, "Andy must have a small dick because he owns an assult rifle," I'm offended not only because you're insulted a family member (and a veteran and a fellow Democrat) but also because you seem to think that both Andy and I are stupid enough to take take seriously a statement that jaw-droppingly idiotic. So not only have you failed shame Andy into not owning his AR-15, you're also alienating people like me who ought to be standing with you, but won't because we would rather not have people think we're prone to holding idiotic opinions.

So your drawing some arbitrary distinction (assult weapons = small penis, but other guns = normal penis) is not going to be particularly helpful in the gun control debate. It might make you feel better or somehow superior, but it's not going to bring about new policies that might saves lives. And it's certainly not going to draw reasonable and responsible people to your side in the discussion.

[EOTE]

155. So Andy MIGHT be one of the few who is rational.

And I use that term because it's the most appropriate one, comprende? The fact that there are some responsible assault rifle owners doesn't mean that it's a good thing that they're legal, understand? Democrats, especially ones who own such weapons, need to learn that they are without a doubt bad for the country. Your cousin Andy doesn't seem like the type who'd be insulted by such comments. But the idiots who think that purchasing a Bushmaster is going to get them their "man card" back NEED to know that them owning a gun doesn't make them a man. In fact, it shows how likely it is that they're scared. I think there are far too many of ALL guns in this country, we need to have reasonable gun control here. However, that doesn't seem likely at all given the number of gun nuts here. So we move slowly and do what we can. And reminding these idiotic assault weapon owners that them owning assault weapons DOES NOT make them more manly, and in fact makes them less manly, is a good way to make progress.

[PavePusher]

147. "I know that people who own assault rifles are not very rational as a whole."

I suppose asking for actual proof would get me no-where.....

[EOTE]

154. I provided proof above.

Again, these weapons are totally unnecessary for self defense. Many handguns and shotguns would do a better job. These weapons are also far more likely to kill their loved ones and other innocents than to actually provide some self defense. I think it's fairly evident that those who would purchase something to gain them their "man card" and look cool that has little value for self defense and is more likely to get themselves or loved ones killed, are pretty fucking irrational, no?

[EOTE]

101. Oh, and by the way, I'm not referring to "gun owner"s. I'm referring to the idiots who own assault

rifles. Or, if you'd like me to get technical, semi-auto firearms with high capacities. You're not doing the gun nuts any favor by the conflation. Nobody needs weapons like these for defense. And the ones who own them are typically morons.

[hack89]

114. How do you know they are typically morons?

the vast majority that I meet are competitive target shooters. People from every walk of life, educational levels and professions. Living in Rhode Island most are Democrats.

I know doctors, lawyers, judges, teachers who shoot - none of them are morons.

[EOTE]

117. Again, I'm referring to owners of assault weapons.

And I believe I'd provide an exception for competitive shooters, that's something that is yet to be fleshed out. But yes, I stand by my comment that the great bulk of those who own assault style weapons are very irrational. What else can you say about someone who owns something that's far more likely to kill themselves or a loved one than it is to do anything in terms of self-defense? These weapons do absolutely no good, they're only responsible for misery. People who own these weapons typically care far more about appearing manly than they do about the well being of their friends and loved ones.

[hack89]

123. Since AR-15s are the most popular target rifles around

you need to flesh out your concept soon - you just insulted me, my wife, son and daughter.

Our weapons do nothing more than provide hours of fun - they have never hurt a soul.

[EOTE]

126. Sure, YOUR weapons are fine and dandy.

And they'll continue to never hurt a soul until they do. Just like Nancy Lanza's weapons never hurt a soul. She's a responsible, freedom-loving, America loving member of the NRA, you see.

[hack89]

131. What I find funny is your notion that handguns are ok

considering that the majority of mass shooting (more than four victims) involved handguns. The worst one in recent history, the Va Tech shooting, involved two handguns with standard magazines.

Rifles and shotguns account for about 3% of all murders. And very few of the suicides which make up the majority of gun deaths. Which makes this fixation on assault weapons nothing more than security theater. To accept the continued legal ownership of semi-automatic handguns is to accept that future mass shootings like VT are a certainty. Yet you give handguns a pass while sanctimoniously lecturing us on how irresponsible we are for owning rifles.

Savor that feeling of righteousness you are feeling right now - that as good as it will get for you.

[EOTE]

152. Tell that to the victim of these massacres.

These massacres are FAR too common in this country and our gun culture and the availability of these assault weapons is the reason why. I don't give semi-automatic handguns a pass, I was speaking more generally of hand guns. I don't think that semi-auto handguns are alright at all, but I think gun control needs to be done piecemeal. If I had attacked semi-auto handguns as well, the gun nuts would be piling on me a good deal more.

[hack89]

170. You will get one shot at the gun control ring - maybe

if you want to piss it away on a measure that does nothing to preclude future Va Techs then knock yourself out.

Piecemeal gun control is a fantasy - if you only have one shot at it for the next decade or so, why not do something that addresses the vast majority of gun violence?

[EOTE]

218. And what would you suggest?

The NRA would seem to be a block at doing anything more meaningful than something piecemeal. So what would you do?

[hack89]

220. High cap magazine ban

strengthen background checks, mandate background checks for private sales.

[EOTE]

222. I'd be all for that.

Though again, the NRA is still very powerful and would fight it with their last dying breath.

[NickB79]

143. All the owners of semi-auto rifles I know are college-educated

And successful middle-class individuals.

I have a degree in biochemistry. My friends (both men and women) who own AR-15's and AK clones have degrees in electrical engineering, microbiology, pharmacy and business management.

When a good semi-auto rifle costs $1200 and up, and a quality scope for it can cost $400 or more, it's not something your average high school drop-out can buy on a whim.

And as to "appearing manly"? Other than the fact that the biggest guns in my circle of friends are owned by a woman, I can assure you that none of us are overly concerned about appearing manly. We drive mini-vans and Camry's, have tea parties with our little girls, and cook nice meals to share with each other when we get together on the weekends.

But I guess we're just too stupid to realize that, eh?

[EOTE]

156. If what you say is true, you and your friends are not representative of the typical assault weapon

owner. And how they market these weapons proves that fairly definitively. And in spite of how responsible you and your friends think you are, it's incredibly stupid to own such a weapon. There's no good reason to own something like that and you're far more likely to kill yourselves or other innocents with it than doing anything approaching self-defense. Good, sometimes even smart people occasionally do really stupid things.

[NickB79]

159. No good reason?

By who's definition? Yours?

I use my rifle to hunt, target shoot and (if it came to it) home defense, though that's not high on my list of concerns seeing as the gun sits locked up when not on the range or in the field.

I use it in the same way any responsible gun owner would use any other gun. It's no more stupid or lethal to own than a deer rifle, or shotgun, or a handgun.

Would you feel the same way if I said I owned a 12-gauge shotgun or .30-30 deer rifle? If not, why?

[EOTE]

161. Yes, and other reasonable people.

What you and other gun folks need to recognize is that the 2nd amendment is NOT absolute. You can't own machine guns, yet gun nutters don't seem to have a problem with that. Considering the incredible damage these weapons do, it makes sense to get rid of them for all but very limited circumstances. Why is it that you're not arguing that people need to own machine guns? Machine guns are perfectly acceptable in the hands of responsible gun owners, right?

[NickB79]

163. I'd like to get some clarification on this statement

There's no good reason to own something like that and you're far more likely to kill yourselves or other innocents with it than doing anything approaching self-defense.

I can understand what you're saying, IF you mean that my AR-15 would be more dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands (say, someone stole it and it ended up on the street). But that's why it's in a gun safe in an obscure closet.

However, how exactly is an unloaded AR-15 more dangerous to me and my family than, say, an unloaded 12-gauge shotgun? And like I said, self-defense is pretty low on my list of worries; I don't even keep any ammo in the magazines for it when not being used outdoors.

[EOTE]

168. Most people are not as responsible as you.

And unfortunately, those are the people we have to concern ourselves with when writing gun legislation. I'm sure there can be responsible machine gun owners, or responsible nuke owners. That doesn't mean that they should be legal for the general public.

[Eleanors38]

191. EOTE, you don't care about gun control or massacred kids...

You only care about hurting others for your own amusement, no?

[EOTE]

200. No. NT

[Ghost in the Machine]

45. Just more proof of my theory that anti-gunners obsess over gun owners' penises... n/t

[EOTE]

59. No, we're just kind of sick of gun culture and the bi-weekly massacres.

And considering that most gun nutters don't give a fuck about those massacres, we hit them where it hurts, how others perceive their penis size. Most real men don't give a fuck about what others think about their penises.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

115. You're still basing your approach on a single erroneous assumption

That gun owners (or even gun lunatics), give a damn what you think.

"Oh my god, Jethro! Do you that know there's some anonymous guy on the internet who thinks I have a small tallywacker? That's it. I'm giving up my guns. FOREVER!"

That's the scenario you're envisioning? Really?

[EOTE]

121. I don't give a damn about what they give a damn about.

I'm not here to appeal to irrational idiots. I'm here to appeal to rational people who can actually do something about this. Remember, we live in a democracy. And as much as those idiots would like it to be the case, moronic gun nutters do NOT make up the majority in this country.

On edit: Oh, are you referring to the "small dick" comments? Well, it's pretty obvious that plenty of gun nutters DO give a damn about this. That's especially apparent due to the amount of "Stop saying that gun nuts have small dicks!" posts I've been seeing since the myriad gun tragedies we've seen last year. Funny enough, quite a few of those posts happen to be coming from gun nuts. Go figure.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

124. Oh dear...

You're only here to appeal to rational people, yet you're going to accomplish this by making irrational arguments.

Well...

Good luck with that.

[EOTE]

127. Irrational arguments? Like the fact that shot guns and AR-15s are different?

What a silly little non-gun owning individual I am. Thinking that a semi-automatic rifle and shot gun are two different things. What was I possibly thinking? Once again, nuts who own assault rifles are typically very irrational people who are incredibly insecure about themselves. Attacking their insecurity is perhaps one of the very few ways to appeal to these people. But keep telling me about how assault weapon owners are secure in their manhood.



Yep. Totally secure.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

134. I don't even know what to say...

"Nuts who own assault rifles are typically very irrational people who are incredibly insecure about themselves."

Are you a licensed mental health professional? And have you had the owner of every assault rifle under your care and counseling? A majority of assault rifle owners? Any assault rifle owners? Anybody? Ever?

Your approach is based on the aforementioned assumption that somebody might actually gives two shits about what you think, but it's really underpinned by your utterly unproven and preposterous assumption regarding the mental health of persons who own assault rifles.

And you think we should all follow your lead, right?

[EOTE]

158. It doesn't take a whole lot to realize that those who'd own something

that is far more likely to get themselves or other innocents killed than providing anything in terms of self-defense is fairly irrational? No? There are a ridiculous amount of guns to choose from that offer excellent self-defense without the ability to kill an entire school in a few minutes. Aside from competition shooting, I've never heard a single good reason that these idiots need to own something like that. That they think that reducing the number of massacres in this country is secondary to their need to appear more manly shows that they are disturbed (i.e. fucked up) individuals.

[BainsBane]

183. why would he/she want an assault rifle?

In recent weeks, we've learned--thanks to DU gun proponents--that owners of assault weapons spend a great deal of time fantasizing about riddling bodies with hundreds of bullets. They talk about violating the law by refusing to register weapons, killing police, and ATF agents, and overthrowing a democratically elected government. Are you submitting that kind of thinking is healthy for themselves or society at large?

[Ghost in the Machine]

192. "we hit them where it hurts, how others perceive their penis size." LMAO! Are you still in 3rd grade

EOTE

59. No, we're just kind of sick of gun culture and the bi-weekly massacres.

And considering that most gun nutters don't give a fuck about those massacres, we hit them where it hurts, how others perceive their penis size.

Jesus H Christ! That has to be one of the most juvenile replies I've read here in several years!! Do you *HONESTLY THINK* that I, or many others here give a flying fuck about what you and your other penis obsessed groupies think about our penises? Actually, it's quite opposite! I don't feel comfortable with a bunch of strangers on the internet obsessing over my penis. Maybe you should seek counseling, because I think people obsessing over my penis just might be lacking in grey matter!

Most real men don't give a fuck about what others think about their penises.

Please tell me, in your own words, what your definition of a "real man" is, seeing as I just shot down what you *thought* it was. Here's one little hint, just to keep you from fucking yourself up again: It has absolutely *NOTHING* to do with penis size, or owning a gun....


Here's your chance to redeem yourself, and set a better example for your peers.

Thanks in advance,

Ghost

[EOTE]

201. Obviously you and others DO care.

The vociferous replies that I've received make that abundantly clear.

[Ghost in the Machine]

208. so..... you ADMIT you have an obsession with the penises of gun owners, yes?

Your lack of an intelligent reply made that adundantly clear.


Here's you a special treat


















mine's WAY BIGGER than yours!!! Neeener neeeeeener neeeeeeeener.... oh, wait! Nope, it didn't make it grow, get smaller, or have any effect at all. Back to the drawing board for you (and don't eat the chalk!)...

[EOTE]

213. What an incredibly stupid reply.

I don't know why I should have expected anything else, though. No, there's absolutely nothing I said that should make you believe that. All you've done is to show me that yes, you consider your guns to be an extension of your manhood. And the extremely aggressive posts I've seen from you in the past when people seemingly question your manhood shows me how incredibly insecure that you are. You are a perfect example of how gun nuts think that guns make them more manly. Real men don't need such toys.

[Ghost in the Machine]

211. BTW, you never did answer my question on what YOU think a "real man" is....

Could it be that your 3rd grade mentality couldn't find the words, or that you just don't really *know* yourself, since you've never had the feeling?

[EOTE]

212. There are many, many things which make a man.

Taking care of loved ones, teaching others of responsibility those are a few. I can tell you unequivocally what DOESN'T make a man and that's owning weapons of mass destruction. You speak of a 3rd grade mentality, yet it's 1st and 2nd grade boys who think that weapons make them manly. Most kids grow out of that phase by 7 or 8. Of course, some never do.

[dairydog91]

214. Manliness is to be determined by the Holy Word of, uh, you?

Come, speak to us of manliness. Inform us as to all the myriad facets of this grave and lifelong burden. As the High Priest of Manliness, you are surely the ultimate authority on all questions of social duties which arise due to possession of a Y chromosome. Fill this forum with your light. Help us EOTE, you're our only hope.

[EOTE]

217. Hit a nerve, have I?

Once again, there are many things which make a man. Owning an assault rifle most likely just means that you're scared.

[dairydog91]

225. I don't own any guns.

And "hitting a nerve" is not the same as "saying something accurate."

If it was, saying anything exceptionally rude would automatically be true under your logic. "Feminists are all desperate, angry, worthless fat chicks," or "You only support the President because he's a jiggaboo" would provoke an angry response ("hit a nerve" in your words), so would you also take those statements as true? And if not, how did you figure out that some offensive statements are proven true by virtue of their offensiveness while others aren't?

[EOTE]

229. Feminists aren't causing and responsible for multiple dozens of massacres per year, are they?

That you can't see that our sick gun culture and the epidemic of violence that it causes is different than insulting minority groups is rather telling.

[dairydog91]

230. Your lack of coherent logic is showing.

I asked if you could explain how "did you figure out that some offensive statements are proven true by virtue of their offensiveness while others aren't?" Your apparent response is that you favor feminists, and disfavor the "gun culture." That's a cultural preference, not a logical distinction, particularly for explaining the "offensiveness EQUALS truth" function that you seem be struggling to establish (Of course, you reject this function when it produces results which you don't like).

After all, even if no woman in the US ever killed anyone, that would still not explain why offensive statements about women are not proven true by their offensiveness. Or, for that matter, why nasty statements about gun owners would be proven true by dint of their offensiveness. To take an example of a group which is pretty universally held to be bad, saying that "All SS soldiers ate their own children" would be offensive to SS soldiers, AND SS soldiers were a very bad group of people who killed a lot of other people, yet the statement is still untrue.

Edit: At any point, feel free to declare that insulting groups you don't like automatically proves the truth of the insults, while insulting groups you do like does not prove the truth of the insults. I mean, this contention looks and smells like tribalistic verbal diarrhea completely lacking in logical coherency, but that certainly doesn't take it outside the realm of standard political discourse.

[EOTE]

231. I KNOW that my comments are offensive.

They should be. I don't have any qualm with feminists because they're not responsible for a ridiculous amount of massacres every year. Gun nuts ARE. I think that gun nuts SHOULD be insulted, they should be offended because that's the only thing that seems to work for them. You can tell gun nuts that their actions are killing innocents and they just don't give a fuck. Do they? We've got far more gun violence than ANY other first world nation. They don't give a fuck, in fact, they relish in that. So if logic and basic human decency don't reach these people, what does? Well, going by the advertising for these sickening weapons, it's pretty obvious to see that these people are extremely insecure in their masculinity. So, if these people realize that others don't think of them owning guns as manly, in fact the opposite, they might change their minds. It's their "lack of coherent logic" that makes insults like these so necessary. Again, these people NEED to be insulted. We've tried reasoning with them for many decades, they don't do reason.

[dairydog91]

232. So insults it is!

Though without any data correlating small wang size with gun ownership, this remains nothing more than your particular choice of insult, rather than a fact or scientific conclusion of any sort.

[EOTE]

233. Wow, you STILL don't get it?

I don't believe there is anyone here who actually believes there is a correlation between gun ownership and penis size, at least anyone that's remotely documented. The insult is because of the belief that owners of such weapons do so because they feel the need to compensate and make themselves more "manly". It's incredibly easy to see that gun manufacturers take advantage of this simple fact by how they advertise. Can you see an advertisement like this:



And HONESTLY think that someone who purchases this isn't trying to compensate for something? If the gun nuts really want to last out at people for insulting them, how about they turn to the assholes selling them their weapons? More than anyone else, THEY are the ones telling these insecure people that owning a gun is going to make them less of a sniveling coward.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

113. Not every gun owner's penis...

Just yours.

OK. I just creeped out myself.

'Scuse me while I go shower.

[Ghost in the Machine]

193. Yes, that *was* a little creepy!

I hope you weren't thinking about me while you showered!

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

205. Ewww!

I just felt this thread could use a little absurdity. I mean, more absurdity than it had already...

[Ghost in the Machine]

209. Well thumbs up to you then, you achieved your goal :-)

[Michigan Alum]

46. Remember Freud's "Penis Envy" where some women envy men for their penises?

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

48. Can we please retire this asinine argument?

People who don't own guns don't have ginormous horse cocks. And people who own guns don't have tiny little weiners.

What should a public policy debate has been hijacked by a bunch of 12-year-olds.

[farminator3000]

58. look at post #37

and #57

[Zoeisright]

180. Seems to be a pretty effective argument.

And I think it hit a nerve.

[Taverner]

51. Even though it may be an exaggeration...

There is truth behind this

[longship]

52. Love it!

No other comment.

[Glassunion]

53. I do not own an assault rifle because I have a small penis.

But that is why I drive a BMW and wear Italian shoes.

[farminator3000]

57. go to youtube and listen to "Honesty" by Billy Joel. right now!

i'll spare everyone else the link!

[progressoid]

65. Hummers were ugly gas guzzlers with the lowest customer satisfaction.

They didn't go out of business because of people pointing and giggling.

[NickB79]

66. Is this satire, or is he really that stupid?

That doesn’t mean Hartley is prepared to lump all gun owners into the same boat. He gives a pass to those who own a handgun “to protect your home and your family,” and to those who own a rifle or shot gun “for hunting or target shooting.”

I own an AR-15 for home defense, hunting and target shooting.

Does that give me some magical big-dick pass or something?

On edit: this is the kind of car I drive, so clearly I'm not compensating on the road: http://www.cargurus.com/Cars/2006-Scion-xA-Overview-c5822

[frylock]

75. i use a 12 gauge for home defense..

what, exactly, are you looking to defend you're home against? zombie hordes?

[NickB79]

135. I didn't want a closet full of guns, so I settled on the AR-15

With it, I can use it for home defense (though to be perfectly honest it usually remains unloaded and locked up), hunting (5.56mm is legal for both pest control on the farm and deer here in MN), and target practice. A .22LR for small game hunting and a pellet rifle for backyard plinking and I'm set. I didn't want a handgun, a shotgun, and a deer rifle when one gun would satisfy all those requirements.

Besides, it's not as though a 12-gauge shotgun is exactly a less lethal firearm. I can't think of anything much more lethal at close range than a blast of buckshot to the chest.

[Ernesto]

69.

[Dreamer Tatum]

72. He should know; he has sucked them all. nt

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

81. Meh, I got a few scary rifles, and my cock is perfectly average.

It works just fine and everything.

[closeupready]

82. It does seem like a valid question. How would anyone

know someone's dick size on the basis of membership in the category "Assault Weapons Owner"?

Gun smear fail on columnist's part.

[Iggo]

240. Because being gay is a bad thing, right?

[bongbong]

76. I disagree with the OP!

It's not about penis size.

It's about the pants-wetting terror that the Delicate Flowers have if they're asked to crawl out from their "Safety Hole" (AKA under their bed) without enough firepower to bring down Godzilla.

[friendly_iconoclast]

77. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,...

...then they fight you, then you win."

And that is why things like this warmed-over Freudianism don't especially bother me
-it's a sign of foolish complacency.

[derby378]

87. Man, I almost got burned at the stake over using that line

Granted, a couple of people came to me and had some very poignant insights into my methods and motivation, but we were able to have a meaningful conversation without anyone bring my "size" into play. I'm capable of being nice. Let's see if the other side can step up.

[friendly_iconoclast]

118. They're acting out because at some level, they've realized they won't win.

I offer as further evidence those posters and pundits that demand that gun owners
somehow 'cooperate' with them to obtain new gun control laws, or gun owners
won't like the resulting legislation (or words to that effect).

Well, why should gun owners cooperate? If you've got enough votes in whatever
relevant legislative body to pass the laws you want, then why haven't you done so already?

And to put it very bluntly to people who liked the OP:
You've pissed all over gun owners, so they are not and will not be in a mood to give an inch.
Were I a NRA (or one of the other even more RW progun .orgs) operative, I'd consider
a star membership at DU a cheap price to pay in order to collect the many, many examples of culture-war bile and hatred directed at all gun owners here.

And believe me, all those screeds will be "the way ALL Democrats feel about you"-
it's Propaganda 101...

[derby378]

128. That's why it helps to have Democratic friends who like you just the way you are

My wife (RIP, Ginny) was a lifelong Democrat and a strong supporter of gun control. She may not have liked where I stood on the issue, but I believe she respected that I tried to come up with my own stand on gun laws instead of merely repeating what some other guys might have said. She still didn't want any guns in the house other than an antique family shotgun that was best used as a wallhanger.

I have others who have met me personally, some who have known me for years, some who have helped me through my worst times, who are all commited Dems and know where I stand on the gun issue. Their reactions range from bemusement to support, but never anger or hostility. This I appreciate greatly.

[friendly_iconoclast]

142. In my active shooting days lo these many years ago...

(Palm Beach County, Florida-early 1980's), the people I would run into were all over the political
spectrum- from Birchers and Jewish Defense League types to transplanted Northern Democrats
and hippies that shared a love of shooting. Even a good friends' sister that had been busted
several times for her antinuclear civil disobedience liked to borrow and shoot his Hi-Power
(.22 semiautomatic handgun) at the range with us.

This was long before the rise of the gun Prohibitionists/culture warriors gained prominence.
They seem determined to lose purple states/districts for Democrats.

[dawg]

78. No, they just feel kind of powerless in this society. That's all.

I'm sure some of the bastards are hung like horses.

[closeupready]

80. Ok. All you need to know is he thinks women have penises.

I think we're done here.

[Paladin]

91. "Pseudo-Machine Gun"

Jeez, I bet that's tying our resident No Such Thing As An Assault Rifle crowd in knots. Thanks for contributing something useful to the vocabulary, Mr. Hartley.....

[Undismayed]

98. What amazing deceptive language....

Is a firecracker a "pseudo bomb" ? Is my cat a "pseudo lion" ?

[closeupready]

99. Right? 'Is a pencil a "pseudo saber"?'

A match a "pseudo flamethrower"? The analogies are endless.

[HappyMe]

105. lol!

No, a cheap lighter is a pseudo flame thrower that can also double as a pseudo-bomb.

[closeupready]

108. OMG, that is so true!

[billh58]

206. What an amazing display

of typical NRA false equivalence.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

93. It's not the Assault Weapon, it's the weather

cold-weather shrinkage.

dang.

[samsingh]

111. maybe figuratively

[billbailey19448jj]

120. This is something I've been saying for years

Good to see that I'm not alone.

[NYC_SKP]

238. No. No force on Earth or anywhere in the universe, or cosmos, will do that.

SRY.

[Silent3]

150. Since there are plenty of good, decent men with small penises...

...I think comments like this are always shallow, thoughtless, and asinine, hurtful to many men who must be sick and tired of hearing what's true for them constantly uttered as a sneer and an accusation.

[JoeyT]

173. Y'all thought shaming is what got rid of Hummers?

Are you fucking kidding? They got like 9 miles to the gallon. Gas got up to five bucks a gallon. Costing thirty bucks to drop the kids off at soccer practice and ballet is what got rid of Hummers. That and no one is going to buy a $60,000+ shitbox that guzzles gas when the economy collapses. The economy went utterly to shit in 2008, Hummer production and sale ended in 2010.

You're attributing far more power to memes than they actually have.

[rwiliff]

178. Flintlock rifle owners

are hung like horses.

Warmest Regards,
Robert

[BainsBane]

181. Gun companies evidently feel the same way

Since they market their guns as a means to regain manhood. Only buying a Bushmaster rifle can allow a man to restore his "man card."

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-bushmaster-advertised-semiautomatic-used-in-connecticut-massacre-2012-12

[friendly_iconoclast]

195. Would you feel better if I were to get a rifle that looked like these?

[BainsBane]

196. I'd feel better

if you didn't feel so fearful that you believed you needed weapons.

I'm not the one who markets guns. The gun companies believe their customers have a deflated sense of masculinity that only heavy armaments can help resolve. Why do you suppose that is?

[friendly_iconoclast]

197. I'd feel better if you didn't worry so much about things that are not likely to harm you.

I'd also second the observation made above that it wasn't disapproval that cratered Hummer sales,
it was the perfect storm of the economy cratering, fuel prices sharply rising, and the not
unimportant fact that Hummers just weren't very good for off-roading.

Yeah, Hummers are gone- but people still buy gas guzzling SUVs, the market fragmented into
a) Range Rovers and Mercedes G class for the conspicuous consumption set, and
b) Jeeps for everybody else.

[BainsBane]

198. I'm not worried about my own life

I'm worried about six-year old children like those slaughtered in Sandyhook.

It wasn't I who made the hummer observation, but my thoughts about Hummers and assault weapons are the same. People who are so anxious to play with them ought to go to Afghanistan where they can make themselves useful. Both were designed for combat and have no purpose outside of that context.

I can't help but notice that no one ever addresses the question of what makes them so fearful that they feel they need guns. I also find it interesting you ignored the question about why the gun companies play to a deflated sense of masculinity if that isn't part of what drives purchase of assault weapons.

[hack89]

202. I own guns purely for recreation - fear has nothing to do with it.

my family and I enjoy competitive target shooting - and the AR-15 is an extremely popular and well suited rifle for that sport.

When at home my guns are locked up with the ammo in a separate safe. I live in a very safe low crime area so self defense is not a concern. There is no fear in my life.

[friendly_iconoclast]

194. Feh. The OP is just another example of Colonism:

Last edited Fri Jan 4, 2013, 07:08 AM - Edit history (1)

Sergeant Colon had had a broad education. He'd been to the School of My Dad Always Said, the College of It Stands To Reason, and was now a post-graduate student of the University of What Some Bloke In The Pub Told Me.


Terry Pratchett, Jingo

[Pholus]

204. Need to find a new shorthand term for a real set of issues behind guns.

Obviously, insecurity is a major marketing point according to Bushmaster at least (see picture). This campaign would not have run for two years if it wasn't successful so I consider it a profound insight into the minds of the people who need to buy more and more powerful guns. It is about insecurities that are unfortunately well shorthanded by the genitalia slang.

The last generation? Yeah, they had guns. I grew up around guns. A couple guns for hunting. Ones that stayed in the family for years. But something changed in people. All of a sudden many became a bunch of crazy-cat-lady-like hoarders. Happened to my now-freeper brother -- in the 1970's he had a couple deer rifles and a shotgun for duck season and for our family that was well armed. By 2000 he had an SKS and an AK among 15 other rifles and shotguns, large capacity magazines, all the esoteric ammunition he could obtain, reloaders, tools and a handgun collection that is simply astounding. Literally by value 10% of his salary invested in weapons over 30 years. More money in guns than his house is worth. More money in guns than he spent on his kids. Or his cars. Or quite ironically on his retirement. By the way, simultaneously he becomes a freeper -- afraid of government, afraid of minorities, afraid of crime, afraid of a single liberal policy and most definitely above all else afraid someone will take his guns away. Brags proudly he is a single issue voter just based on gun rights arguments. Just like every gungeon denizen who echos the talking point that any criticism about guns drives voters away...

Color me crazy, but there is a link there somehow if I could just put my finger on it.

So basically while I don't fear the guns, I definitely fear the hoarders. The people who don't feel secure in basic everyday interactions unless they wear the power of life and death as some kind of ego accessory. The only time I feel uncomfortable in public is when I see someone with their weapon just "ready for anything." It always makes me wonder if they're protecting against trouble or getting ready to start it. Taking to some of them, I quickly realize that as a spectator to their pagentry they an expectation that I need to (cue the Cartman voice) "respect their authora-tah."

So, from my direct observations, guns are about control. About causing fear. About internal fears. SO here we are, back to the insecurity issue.

So, what shorthand to use other than the offending two word slang. I wish I knew. While vulgar, it is such a descriptive shorthand for the problems I actually have with guns -- their owners.

[billh58]

207. I generally agree with you

and society as a whole uses different variations of the metaphor daily: "if only he had the balls to stand up to them," or, "grow a pair!" Then there is the insult for bigots: "small minded twit!."

All of these insults, including the teenie weenie accusation, point out a basic lack of fortitude and an unfounded fear of ________ (fill in the blank) on the part of the accused.

The word I would suggest is "coward" to describe someone who hoards guns, or fears being in public unarmed. Cowards compensate by becoming bullies.

[The Straight Story]

210. And women gun owners have little tits and loose vaginas

There, now everyone is equal and the above makes just as much sense....

[Romulox]

215. People need to look up the concept of "Projection"...

and then realize that the insults we throw at others really reveal our deepest fears about ourselves.

[billh58]

219. Unless of course

the "insult" fits the action. Perception is everything, and being "insulted" is a matter of whether one is the dung flinger, or the flingee. If I call someone a bully, I mean it as an insult, but the bully may take it as a compliment about his or her aggressiveness and display of superiority over others.

Projection, and calling out over-compensation and abnormal behavior, are two different things. OTOH, I DO have this deep-seated fear that my peepee might fall off if I mock someone else's, so I try not to use that analogy.

[Romulox]

221. In this case, is it even possible to know? It is not. Therefore, "the insult is correct"

is obviously not a correct argument. Sorry.

[billh58]

223. I'm not referring

to tiny penises, and that is just a metaphor anyway. I'm referring to obvious insecurity and over-compensation, and yes it IS possible to know that by observation. It doesn't have to be connected with guns, but with other forms of abnormal behavior such as hoarding, aggressiveness, and displays of ostentation.

[Romulox]

224. But I *am*, as is the the thread OP to which I was responding. nt

[billh58]

227. Kay den...

Carry on...

[Greybnk48]

226. K&R n/t

[farminator3000]

239. behold the power of the P-word!!! for those offended by this SATIRE piece...

if you substitute the words "low self-esteem" for "small penis", it sounds much nicer!

which, i believe, is the author's point...

glad you enjoyed it, y'all!