The Borowitz Report-Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump's DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo

[LetMyPeopleVote]

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/only-remaining-musical-act-in-trumps

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a last-ditch move to salvage his “US Freedom 250” concert, Donald J. Trump announced on Monday that the only remaining musical act will be Secretary of State Marco Rubio playing a kazoo.

“Quite frankly, we don’t need no-talent losers like the Commodores,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!”

According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.

In an official statement, Rubio declared, “I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.”

[Diamond_Dog]

1. Will he be wearing his clown-sized Florsheims too?

[EYESORE 9001]

2. He could get Kegsbreath to accompany on the swinette

Decorum prevents me from describing the instrument, but the Urban Dictionary is ready to oblige

[Walleye]

3. There's no talent at all in this administration if there was, it was fired

I remember Secretary of State, Anthony Blinken, playing and singing” Hoochie Coochie Man” he was great

[gab13by13]

4. Lyndsey Graham can play the 1 string bass.

[cstanleytech]

13. Actually he'd be better as playing the jaw harp due to his extensive experience at tonguing Trump's ass.

[3Hotdogs]

5. Dunno. The 8 guys playing toilet paper on hair combs - - - they're pretty big in Alabama.

[2MuchNoise]

6. trump will play his invisible accordian.

[sop]

7. No one's suggested the skin flute?

[ChicagoTeamster]

8. With JD Vance joining as percussionist playing spoons with two cymbals between his knees while Lee Greenwood sings

[Historic NY]

9. On the cheap

he can use his comb and a piece of wax paper.

[Martin Eden]

10. That last line made me LOL

On that stage will he play the kazoo AND fellate

To make this show truly great?

[niyad]

11. I nearly spit out my coffee at that last sentence.

[erronis]

12. t'rump itself will provide the bass note. Never heard a baser note ever!

With accents of barnyard and sulfur.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

15. He'll also fart the National Anthem to open the whole thing

[Exp]

14. Ouch! eom