Hegseth wants a rock hard fighting force. Need I say, "satire"?

[usonian]

Last edited Fri Jul 17, 2026, 05:58 PM - Edit history (1)

HORMONES FOR HORMUZ.

We'll penetrate weakly defended territory, and beat off enemy forces. They can't fight without precious bodily fluids.
Swift thrusts will leave them whimpering.

TESTOSTERONE, MEN.

Testosterone means healthy precious bodily fluids.
Testosterone means you've got essence.



Women...women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.

General "Buck" Turgidson said it best.



What happens to you when you lose your essence?

You Stumble speaking entire sentences, go drowsy at formal events and in combat,.
You jump between unrelated subjects mid-thought.
You gain enormous weight, become flabby and can't stay awake.
You slur your words. can't say "250"
You become incontinent and fart and crap uncontrollably.

DON'T AVOID THE TESTS LIKE BASEBALL PLAYERS DO
Baseball fans, ladies and your Department of War Chairman like
HIGH HARD ONES

And your president admires a big putter like Arnold Palmer's.

I've got a secret to share with you.

YOUR PRESIDENT is undergoing testosterone treatments weekly.


Here is a surveillance camera image.

THE NEW TRUMP WILL ARISE



Right after Mitch.
Hegseth over and out.

[MikeyDi]

1. The most obnoxious guy in the CrossFit gym is running DoD

This is fine.

[RandySF]

2. I think this guy is a closet case.

[31j20b3]

3. He's pretty loaded up with the myths of low education, low intellect Americans

I suspect his worst is yet to come as he turns his attention to cleansing America of socialism

[Deuxcents]

4. I'm not in the military but I'm pretty sure we don't fight wars like they did in Spartacus' day but rather technology

These days. I’m sure our ground troops are trained to be physical but they’re also using technology that their weapons are designed to be used.

[usonian]

5. It was a spoof. Hegseth is a sick person.

I was in the service alongside extremely smart and capable people.

[valleyrogue]

6. Woman-hating asshole wants an all-male army.

Remember who his equally demented pastor is.

[LessAspin]

7. Pete Heg....

Link to tweet

[usonian]

8. Can testosterone make you a man in 7 days?

A one week boot camp is all you need!