can we please...
...pretty please with sugar on top stop comparing the possibly late Mitch McConnell with a turtle?
Turtles are noble creatures. They're real survivors, and they're masters of meditation. And they're adorable.
Want to have your heart break in the presence of absolute cuteness? Watch a hatchling tortoise yawn. Want to see the nobility of age? An adult tortoise or a sea turtle. Want to see a study in patience? Alligator snapper. Want to see perfection in camouflage? Mata-mata. Want to see bizarre? One of the horned meiolaniids (an extinct group) will do. (The scientific name for one of them - I kid not - is Ninjemys.). Or Stupendemys - yeah, that's a real name for a gigantic freshwater turtle from South America.
McConnell is a mammal. No mammal is worthy of comparison with a turtle - but this particular mammal less than others. I don't care what he looks like - turtles are besmirched by the comparison.
Herpetologists and turtle aficionados everywhere will thank you.
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