So how do you respond when an intruder locks himself in your bathroom?

[undeterred]

I have to admit that I've never actually heard of an intruder doing this...

[HereSince1628]

1. I ask him to PLEASE not piss in the shower

I can deal with most of the rest...including pissing on the seat...just PLEAST DON'T PISS IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SharonAnn]

2. I call the police. If he/she is locked in the bathroom, let them deal with it.

[NutmegYankee]

3. Penny lock the door shut!

http://www.ehow.com/how_5641919_penny-lock-door.html

[OldDem2012]

41. A few of us did that once in college....

....at 3:00 am to an entire floor in a neighboring dorm. They never found out who did it.

[GaYellowDawg]

74. LOL, I did that to an RA in my dorm one time.

The guy was a total prick. Spent some time screaming at me one night, and I very thoroughly penny locked the SOB in his room a couple of hours later. He couldn't get out of his room the next morning. The other RA couldn't get him out from the outside. They had to call campus maintenance to get the door open, and in the meantime, he missed three classes, including one test. I tried to feel guilty about that, but couldn't.

When they asked me if I did it, I said no, but I sure as hell wish I'd been the one to do it, and I thought it was funny as hell. If I'd said it was a terrible thing, suspicion would have instantly fallen on me. Instead, I did it, and even got to say to the guy's face how great I thought it was, without repercussion.

[Aerows]

75. I know a guy in college that had this happen to him

I have to admit, it was pretty hilarious.

[htuttle]

4. Three possible responses

Burn two pieces of toast so that the room near the door fills with smoke, then start shouting 'Fire! Fire! Fire!".

Wedge a chair in front of the door and call the police.

Leave the apartment, then call the police.

[zappaman]

5. Get my gun, fire as many shots thru the door as I can...

and then go back to bed to make sure my wife is fine.

Isn't that what anyone would do???

[LisaL]

9. For sure.

[undeterred]

10. There ya go.

Just put your legs on first, if you're feeling vulnerable. And if, god forbid, it turns out to be your wife that was in the bathroom, hold her in your arms while she's dying.

[Generic Brad]

27. Actually, no

A normal person would then follow up by beating down the door with some kind of bat.

[LisaL]

45. Cricket bat?

[JPZenger]

71. The Onion: "the bloody cricket bat was from my previous murder"

[zappaman]

46. You're right!

I forgot the follow through...

[baldguy]

38. Deadly force against a decidedly non-deadly threat?

This is the kind of stupidity which proves we need some sort of comprehensive national gun control.

[tblue37]

48. It wasn't in the US, but in South Africa. nt

[baldguy]

59. Is the poster in South Africa?

[undeterred]

61. No but this was the big story of the day yesterday.

[baldguy]

64. The poster, who said he'd use deadly force against a non-deadly threat, is not in South Africa.

The reason this is a big story is that the US is facing many of the same issues exposed in this case - most notably for this is the insane notion, prominent in the US & epitomized by SYG and Castle Doctrine laws, that a gun owner can use his weapon to kill anytime & for any reason. Even when his life is not threatened.

[zappaman]

78. Jeez dude

Get a grip.
How come everyone else got the joke, but you?

[sir pball]

69. Are you really that impaired?

If the line "Isn't that what anyone would do?" doesn't do it, I don't think even would have helped.

I'm pretty sure NOBODY on here believes Pastorius (granted I'm not to the bottom of the discussion yet) - those of us who do believe in the legitimacy of deadly force self-defense certainly don't think four rounds through a door is kosher. For anyone anywhere anytime.

[snooper2]

68. That's the lazy way....

You should go in the attic and crawl/walk over to where the bathroom fan/vent are located. Once found, slide the 1" rubber hose through the flapper (one-way you'll have to lift on it) and push about 4-6" of the hose down.

Once inserted, pump the mustard gas at 38PSI for about 40 seconds. If you have a really large bathroom, you can go up to 50 seconds. Once complete, grab a cold beer and see what's on the Discovery channel while waiting for the coppers

[kairos12]

6. Apprise them that, prior to their arrival, it was a bad Thai night and the Glade has run out.

[Texasgal]

7. The whole thing stinks to high heaven!

I cannot imagine how anyone could believe such a cockamamie story!

[slackmaster]

8. Shut off the hot water so he can only take cold showers

[riverwalker]

11. bashful burglars with dysentery

must be common in SA?

[Robb]

16. Chakalaka claims another victim. nt

[badtoworse]

12. My apartment was burglarized once and the guy used the bathroom.

The dump he took stunk so bad you could feel it on your face. The cops told me I was lucky - a lot of times they just shit on the floor.

[LisaL]

14. Burglars who are not housebroken?

Yikes.

[badtoworse]

17. I had cold cuts in the fridge and the guy made himself a sandwich

He even toasted the bread.

[Squinch]

22. I was once burglarized, and the burgler took a half used lipstick. I was mildly bothered

by the rest of the crap they took, though none of it was valuable.

But a half used lipstick?? How gross is that???

[undeterred]

24. I knew someone who was held up for her purse

He didn't take the purse- he just wanted her to take out her money and give it to him. And in the purse she had a card with a few dollars in it from a relative and she said "THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONEY - YOU GONNA TAKE THAT TOO?" and he said no but he still took the rest of the money that was in her wallet.

[geckosfeet]

49. Yes. Like in The Big Lebowski

[Fla_Democrat]

13. It happened, again?

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/03/08/oregon.intruder.911/index.html



Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have gun
By the CNN Wire Staff
March 8, 2011 10:11 p.m. EST




The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, Portland police said in a statement.

Accompanied by two German shepherds, the homeowner asked Chapek what he was doing in the house.

Chapek locked himself in the bathroom and made an emergency call, police said. He said he had broken into the house, the owner had come home, and that he was concerned the owner might have a gun.

[LisaL]

15. Not exactly.

Oscar Pistorius (blade runner) shot and killed his girlfriend while she was in the bathroom.
He claims he believed her to be an intruder.

[Fla_Democrat]

28. Oh, that

Haven't followed the case much. Not likely to follow it in the future.

[sir pball]

70. He should just claim he believed her to be a replicant

It would be just as believable and a hell of a lot better a story. (It all just clicked just now)

[undeterred]

18. Oscar Pistorius put on his artificial legs and walked across his bedroom before firing four shots

Oscar Pistorius put on his artificial legs and walked across his bedroom before firing four shots through a locked toilet door, killing his cowering girlfriend in cold blood, prosecutors said on Tuesday.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/02/20/uk-safrica-pistorius-idUKBRE91H02M20130220

Happens to famous people, even.

[catbyte]

43. Why would she be "cowering" in the bathroom unless there was an altercation?

Did she usually cower in the bathroom in the middle of the night for no reason? His whole story is ludicrous.

[undeterred]

63. It is ludicrous...

And that is my point. He invented an unbelievable story to cover up a heinous crime.

[one_voice]

19. I ask them to light a match when...

they're done.

[grasswire]

20. how did he go to the balcony for a fan with no legs on?

That's bothering me.

[undeterred]

21. I didn't hear about that part

but he is able to walk around on his 'stumps'. He slept with a gun under his pillow.

[grasswire]

29. he said he got out of bed...

....to go to the balcony to get a fan, and then when he came back he heard the noises in the bathroom he felt terror because he didn't have his legs on and was vulnerable.

[grasswire]

30. ...which brings up another point

Supposedly he had to go back to his bed to retrieve the gun. Wouldn't he notice then that GF wasn't in the bed?

[undeterred]

39. Maybe he didn't have his contact lenses in.

[sendero]

23. Nobody is fooled..

.. by this guy's story. He is going to prison.

[bluestate10]

25. Barricade the door and call the cops. nt

[Smll_Ax3]

26. Ridiculous alibi

he needs to just come clean......

[petronius]

31. I've got a pretty complicated strategy, but it boils down to:

1) locate all members of my family,
2) call the police,
3) don't shoot blindly through the door,
4) (optional) yell at the intruder not to use up the TP without replacing the roll.

[Ed Suspicious]

52. Roll spins over not under.

[Warren Stupidity]

62. How dare you?

P.s. Olive Garden is a horrible restaurant filled with smoking women breast feeding circumcised babies.

[Hekate]

33. Call 911. Leave house and go to nearest neighbor and lock door. Call 911 again.

Really....

[krispos42]

34. Get the family in the saferoom...

...barricade door, load and ready gun, call 911.

Wait until the dispatcher gives the all-clear.

If the guy tries to break in before the cops show up, shoot.

[Kalidurga]

35. First off if there is an intruder in my house I would never bother to figure out where my loved ones

are. That would be ridiculous, I mean like there is no way any of them could possibly be in the bathroom. So naturally the next step is to shoot the locked bathroom door full of bullets, you know without having any kind of conversation with the intruder. Cuz you know talking to the intruder could possibly induce some kind of injury to myself. And I wouldn't call the police while on the cell phone and tell the intruder I have a gun and they better stay put and wait for the cops, that would be detrimental as well, my time is valuable people, so the best thing is to never lock yourself in my bathroom, I could get impatient.

[Ken Burch]

36. It's a new one on me.

Last edited Wed Feb 20, 2013, 01:37 AM - Edit history (1)

And, for the record, I OFTEN fire shots through my bathroom door, even there's never anybody else in there...mainly, I have this uncontrollable urge to kill the sink.

[undeterred]

40. Well, what if you hit the toilet bowl and it explodes?

That would be a big mess, especially if your beautiful gf was sitting on it at the time. Who ya gonna call to clean that up?

[Ken Burch]

50. I don't have a gf at present. And I only shoot at EMPTY bathrooms.

The toilet bowl itself would probably have it coming.

(you do realize that my previous post was a joke, right? I don't even HAVE a gun.)

[undeterred]

60. ...

[hobbit709]

37. Any intruder here would have to get past two sets of sharp teeth,

[Maeve]

81. Well, that's fine for you, but what about us without kids at home?? eom

[RedCappedBandit]

42. Start shootin, then post on twitter asap

[LisaL]

47. Posting on twitter should always come first.

[obamanut2012]

44. Retreat down the stairs and call the Police

As I'm either driving away to a safe distance or going to a neighbor's. If my legs aren't on, I wake my SO, and we retreat to another room where we can lock the door, and call the Police. If I do own guns, I will take one with me.

[Samantha]

51. Did he have a history of steroid use?

"Roid rage is a term given to people who act in very aggressive or hostile manner after taking large doses, usually on a regular basis, of anabolic steroids, sometimes nicknamed as roids. In recent times, several prominent murders and brutal attacks have been linked to roid rage, which might suggest a person is less responsible for committing a crime. This is not always an adequate defense given that people who take anabolic steroids tend to do so willingly. Further, roid rage resulting in violent behavior may be a little more complex than it is generally portrayed in the media.

"When people use anabolic steroids, a dangerous practice for many reasons, they are essentially placing extra levels of testosterone in their bodies. This hormone can at first have positive effects on the psyche, which later turn negative. Steroid users at first may acquaint steroid use with feeling well, unconquerable or very happy. Continued use of steroids may result in much greater mood and behavior change. People may become more aggressive, more hostile, or they may manifest symptoms of various forms of mental illness, like schizophrenia, mania, and deep depression. Anabolic steroid use is linked not only to roid rage and sudden mood changes, but also to a higher incidence of suicide than in the general populace."

http://angermanagement.net/steroids-and-anger

Sam

[MADem]

55. Steroids Found In Oscar Pistorius' Home After Shooting Of Girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp: REPORT

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/18/oscar-pistorius-steroids-home-shooting-reeva_n_2712115.html

[NaturalHigh]

53. Empty the clip. Yell yeehaw. Repeat.

What else would I do?

[MADem]

54. After I've beaten them bloody with a cricket bat, or before?

Suffice it to say that I believe the gentleman is prevaricating.

Time and the judicial process will tell, though.

[Kennah]

56. No, I said DART GUN not ...

[Permanut]

57. I'm skeptical..

about how truthful historius.

[Spirochete]

58. I ask them

if they need a magazine or more toilet paper...

[Tommy_Carcetti]

65. Makes as much sense as chasing an unarmed teenager minding his business and then losing him....

....and then said unarmed teenager supposedly decides to "ambush" his pursuer (instead of hiding out or trying to get back home), thus forcing the pursuer to have no choice but to shoot the unarmed teenager.

But no idiot would claim that, right?

[NoPasaran]

66. "Don't use the guest towels!"

[Buns_of_Fire]

67. Jimmy Hoffa's been hiding in mine since 1975.

All in all, he's a good tenant. Every now and then, he slips a shopping list and a $100 bill under the door, and I pick up the stuff. He lets me keep the change.

[riqster]

83. Best post of the day!

[JPZenger]

72. A person should leave the house and wait outside

If you come home and see that your house is burglarized, your best bet is to leave the house and wait outside for the police. Many burglars do hide in closets when they are surprised, and could hurt you if they feel cornered. Also, remember that many burglars are heroin or meth addicts, and are not thinking logically.

[tanyev]

73. Stick a chair under the doorknob and don't let him out until it's sparkling clean.

[Still Sensible]

76. Ask them to turn on the vent fan? n/t

[NCTraveler]

77. So how do you respond when an intruder locks himself in your bathroom?

You get out of the house and call the police. Pretty simple.

[Billcorton]

79. About my reponce..

I am also agree with you, I've also never actually heard of an intruder doing this.

Thanks!!

[LeftinOH]

80. Knock on the door and say "Reeva, are you in there?"

And if she doesn't answer, demand to know who is in there. Firing shots through the door would be low on my list of possibilities.

[clarice]

82. Ask him to leave a quarter. nt