Growing old.

[mia]

In the last two weeks I've spent a lot of time in both the dementia wings and the assisted living areas of a "Home" with my parents. I've gone through horror ... then fascination - to acceptance of what it's like. In the end I've seen so many positive moments that I'm overwhelmed and surprised.

My parents are amazing. As always, they've paved a fearless way.

Adaptation is what it's all about.

[Jack Sprat]

1. I hope so.

I am old already and headed their way.

[mia]

4. I'm old too. Visit the elderly.

That's all I can say.

[cliffordu]

2. Bless you for your acumen.

I hope I can keep my composure when the same happens to me.

Tell the parents I said howdy.

[mia]

5. Howdy to you, Cliffordu.

Thank you.

[defacto7]

3. Wow.

Would that I be so winsome when faced by such a reality.

[mia]

8. My dad, who doesn't hear, shares a living area with a man who speaks Spanish.

They interact as new, great friends, neither one understanding a whit of what the other is saying. Yet, their body language portrays a conversation between brothers.

[doublethink]

6. I've re-read your post about 5 times tonight.

And I get something different from it every time. Thank you for sharing this beautiful 'poem' of what you're dealing with and your life with us. Big hugs to you and your parents.

[mia]

9. I know that you know what I mean.

Thank you for being there.

[mokawanis]

7. I worked on a neurogeriatric treatment ward last night

and was again reminded of the devastation dementia can visit on people. One of the patients, younger than me (54), has no verbal communication and extremely limited receptive language. When I provide care for people like that unfortunate man I am reminded of something a psychiatrist once told me: "A patient with advanced dementia has little ability to learn, but a tremendous capacity to teach."

[mia]

10. That "remendous capacity to teach." ,,,

One never knows how last moments will be spent. In the end, those with so little left to give can make such a difference.
Their kindnesses radiate like nothing else.

[Wilms]

13. Thank you. n/t

[No Vested Interest]

11. Almost daily for six years I visited

a nursing facility where my loved one came to be. At first it was to be temporary, but at another point we knew it was permanent.

I felt that I'd seen it all - the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the funny.
Some staff were truly kind and gentle with their charges; some others were just doing a job, admittedly, not always an easy nor tidy job.

To the majority of nursing care staff, I salute the work they do day after day, for a not so great salary.
I came to see the residents as individuals, no longer strong and able to be independent as they would wish, but, mostly, still struggling on.

Some adapted, some not so much.

[1983law]

12. Very proud of you.

[Katashi_itto]

14. I want to grow old outside the U.S. In a civilized country.

[talkingmime]

15. I've dealt with that. I'm just worried about what my children will have to go through with me.

[Javaman]

16. I've been right were you are.

Peace to your soul.

Watching my mom, a brilliant woman, deteriorate before my eyes was both heart wrenching and fascinating.

She couldn't even recognize photos of herself, but yet would talk fondly of events that took place 50 years ago as if they were yesterday.

She would repeat a 30 second loop of the same questions over and over, but when I would crack jokes here mind was still as sharp as ever and it would temporarily break that loop.

In the end, she passed away peacefully and her finally words were, "I love you". how amazing is that?

It's tough, my heart is with you.