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Recycled DU post from 2004 -- Emmigration to Iraq
Immigration to Iraq
The flood of conservatives continues to pour into Iraq following Bush's victory in the U.S.
"We just can't wait to live in a theocratic utopia so we thought we'd move here to Iraq where Bush's vision is becoming reality," said Ted Nugent.
“Ditto,” added Kid Rock.
Iraqis were baffled by the influx of conservatives who keep asking for directions to “the nearest Hummer dealership and Charles Schwab offices.”
“One guy just stood there at the airport. I said ‘what are you waiting for?’ and he said ‘you are supposed to throw flowers at my feet – I am your liberator.’ So I slapped him and told him to get into the damned cab before we both get shot,” reported Haddam Ibn Ali.
Many conservatives said they were moving to Iraq “just to piss off the liberals.” And they looked forward to having their children attend faith-based schools in Iraq which were ‘recently rebuilt.’
“They haven’t built a new school in the US in 4 years so we moved here. ‘Follow the money’ as they say,” laughed Susan Goodcookie formerly of Mississippi. “The locals have an interesting sense of humor. When I ask where the new schools are, they just laugh, then comment to each other in that foreign language and then laugh some more. So I still haven’t found the new schools.”
Many conservatives were lured by the idea that they could send their children to brand new schools in Iraq, built entirely by tax dollars coming from Blue states but the real kicker was the all faith-based curriculum. The school day, when the schools get built, will consist of 6 hours of prayer, 1 hour of bible study (just the butt kicking parts, not the ‘cheek turning’) and 1 hour of creation science.
Among the new settlers are Daniel Klopfarb, CEO of Monster.com, “I have been such a strong advocate for outsourcing that I thought I should try it myself. I moved my job and my family here and now pay myself 78% less than I would have had to pay myself in the US. It is saving us big bucks!”
# # #
The flood of conservatives continues to pour into Iraq following Bush's victory in the U.S.
"We just can't wait to live in a theocratic utopia so we thought we'd move here to Iraq where Bush's vision is becoming reality," said Ted Nugent.
“Ditto,” added Kid Rock.
Iraqis were baffled by the influx of conservatives who keep asking for directions to “the nearest Hummer dealership and Charles Schwab offices.”
“One guy just stood there at the airport. I said ‘what are you waiting for?’ and he said ‘you are supposed to throw flowers at my feet – I am your liberator.’ So I slapped him and told him to get into the damned cab before we both get shot,” reported Haddam Ibn Ali.
Many conservatives said they were moving to Iraq “just to piss off the liberals.” And they looked forward to having their children attend faith-based schools in Iraq which were ‘recently rebuilt.’
“They haven’t built a new school in the US in 4 years so we moved here. ‘Follow the money’ as they say,” laughed Susan Goodcookie formerly of Mississippi. “The locals have an interesting sense of humor. When I ask where the new schools are, they just laugh, then comment to each other in that foreign language and then laugh some more. So I still haven’t found the new schools.”
Many conservatives were lured by the idea that they could send their children to brand new schools in Iraq, built entirely by tax dollars coming from Blue states but the real kicker was the all faith-based curriculum. The school day, when the schools get built, will consist of 6 hours of prayer, 1 hour of bible study (just the butt kicking parts, not the ‘cheek turning’) and 1 hour of creation science.
Among the new settlers are Daniel Klopfarb, CEO of Monster.com, “I have been such a strong advocate for outsourcing that I thought I should try it myself. I moved my job and my family here and now pay myself 78% less than I would have had to pay myself in the US. It is saving us big bucks!”
# # #
Original is here:
http://election.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2807404
I love that DUer Pnorman outed me as the author.