Jesus will return to Missouri ...

[surfdog]

And then rule the planet earth from Springfield Missouri

And my magic underwear gives me the powers to fly and to be invisible

Just a few things that Mitt Romney believes

Once the nation starts to learn about Mormonism it's going to scare the hell out of them

Any thoughts?

[The Magistrate]

1. Will He Move In With His Brother Satan There, Sir?

Mormonism is truely rum fun....

"Jesus done left Chicago, headed down to New Orleans."

[NNN0LHI]

36. I was lucky enough to see ZZ Top play "Jesus Just Left Chicago", in Chicago, twice in one night

Auditorium Theatre too. Never a better place built for such an extravaganza.

The good old days.

Don

[2pooped2pop]

2. Only that the Simpson's are from Springfield

I wonder if there is a connection?

[flexnor]

27. they've never defined what state, though nt

[starroute]

30. The Springfield in the Simpsons is deliberately generic

There are hints of the Missouri one about it -- but also hints of much else.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springfield_%28The_Simpsons%29

A mid-sized town in an undetermined state of the United States, Springfield acts as a complete universe in which characters can explore the issues faced by modern society. The geography of the town and its surroundings are flexible, changing to address whatever an episode’s plot calls for. Springfield's location is impossible to determine; the show is deliberately evasive on the subject, providing contradictory clues and impossible information about an actual geographic location. . . .

Springfield is meant to represent "anytown, USA" and not be a specific real town, although the producers acknowledge basing the town on various locations including The Simpsons creator Matt Groening's hometown of Portland, Oregon and Mike Scully's hometown, Springfield, Massachusetts. Groening liked Second City Television's use of Melonville, a town with a large cast of recurring characters that serves as a mini-universe for the show, and partially based The Simpsons on it. He chose the name because Springfield is one of the most common place-names in the United States. . . .

Springfield was founded in 1796 by a group led by Jebediah Springfield (also known as Hans Sprungfeld) that, after misinterpreting a passage in the Bible, left Maryland trying to find "New Sodom." After he refused to found a town where men were free to marry their cousins, half of the group left. The dissenters founded Shelbyville, after fellow pioneer Shelbyville Manhattan, and the two cities remain rivals.

[WI_DEM]

3. Springfield, Missouri?

[Boombaby]

10. I would have thought St. Joseph MO

Kids have no respect for their parents!

[demosincebirth]

4. Ever see the movie September Dawn?

[DefenseLawyer]

5. No No, Jesus was born to a virgin

and is father was a big invisible guy that built the world in 7 days. Jesus cured incurable illnesses and turned water into wine and walked on water. When he was killed he came back to life and went up in the sky to hang with invisible dad and wait for just the right time to come back down and set things right. If you eat special crackers they turn into his flesh. Which is nice, I think. Any thoughts?

[surfdog]

6. I am an atheist

If you're trying to offend me it just won't work

[DefenseLawyer]

8. I'm not trying to offend anyone

My point is, the crazy ideas of the mormons are no more crazy to me than mainstream "Christian" ideas. The Jesus story is no less bizarre to me, it's just more well known.

[Fawke Em]

9. Except that what you wrote isn't the mainstream belief.

God is not an "invisible guy in the sky," but there's no point in explaining it to you.

(Personally, I wish English was like Arabic in that God had his/her/it's own pronoun since Muslims believe that it's sacrilegious to believe that God is either a human who can be male or female).

[DefenseLawyer]

11. Okay, have it your way

So God is something other than an invisible guy in the sky. Sorry, that's not really a game changer for me. Everyone is entitled to his own opinion on religion and yours may very well be right. It's still amusing to me when one religion full of what I see as crazy ideas mocks some other religion for its "crazy" ideas.

[hobbit709]

56. When viewed from the outside, ALL religions appear equally silly

[arely staircase]

67. yeah it's onl cool when atheists mock people's faith nt

[UnrepentantLiberal]

49. Not this guy?

[Motown_Johnny]

14. 6 days, on the 7th he rested

and it isn't the eating of the special crackers that turn them into his flesh, it is the magic words and gesture that the guy in the robe did earlier.

[arely staircase]

69. Do you have any material on Jews ? nt

[DefenseLawyer]

71. I recommend "History of the World, Part I"

from Mel Brooks

[arely staircase]

72. i think that falls under the category of

it's ok to make fun of your own group.

[hifiguy]

7. Nothing against Missouri

but if Jesus is coming back, why wouldn't he go to someplace like Hawai'i or the Sunshine Coast of eastern Australia?? Nice beaches, beautiful weather...

[Motown_Johnny]

13. Because of where the Mormons believe the Garden Of Eden was

I assume

[FreeState]

21. Adam-ondi-Ahman

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam-ondi-Ahman

Adam-ondi-Ahman (sometimes clipped to Diahman) is an historic site along the east bluffs above the Grand River in Daviess County, Missouri. According to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), it is the site where Adam and Eve lived after being expelled from the Garden of Eden. They believe it will be a gathering spot for a meeting of the priesthood leadership, including prophets of all ages and other righteous people, prior to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

The Latter Day Saints proposed to build a temple there. Such efforts were halted in the 19th century as a result of the 1838 Mormon War to evict the Mormons from Missouri. Their having declared Adam-ondi-Ahman as a sacred site for a temple was a flash point in that confrontation.

After the Mormons were evicted, residents renamed the site Cravensville. It was the site of a skirmish during the American Civil War on August 4, 1862, when Union troops attempted to stop Confederate reinforcements in the First Battle of Independence. Six Confederates were killed and 10 wounded. The Union forces had five wounded.[1]

Most of the site is now owned by the LDS Church and remains predominantly used as farmland.

[hatrack]

16. Maybe he's planning on visiting Bass Pro World Headquarters?

I mean, fisher of men and all that, but maybe he liked to kick back and just fish from time to time . . . and you know the beer would be good and cold (and there'd be plenty of it) if you went fishing with Jesus.

[Motown_Johnny]

12. I think the tactic should be

to go directly at basic beliefs instead of the wild stuff.


For example, Mormons do not believe in the Holy Trinity. They believe that Jesus was separate from The Father.

A simple "Gov. Romney, do you believe in the Holy Trinity?" is all that would be needed to get the ball rolling. No mention of magic underwear needed.

[bhikkhu]

73. A quick little debunking of the basic stuff here:

http://dimmeria.com/?q=node/10

In fairness, you could dispatch about any system of belief as easily.

Most of the defense is about the utility of the belief systems, and I wouldn't argue that many mormons are good people by any definition - simply the lack of cigarettes, drug and alcohol abuse has a big impact on the character of the mormon culture.

Still, even that just supports Schopenhauer's view that "Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training". It doesn't have to be true, it just has to direct individual thinking and cement a culture together (unless one is somehow interested in "truth&quot .

[Motown_Johnny]

74. I am trying to paint him as "Other", you know the tactic....

and I am not saying that all religions could not be debunked as easily, we both know they can.


We simply need the Religious Right to find him not worthy of their vote. Striking at something simple and basic that they can relate to seems to me to be the most efficient way.

Some on the right have claimed that Muslims do not worship the same God as they do (Christians). By addressing the fact that Muslims do believe in The Holy Trinity I could easily make an argument that they do in fact worship the same God. Mormons however do not believe in The Holy Trinity and it is easy to make the argument that they are the ones who do not worship the same God as Christians.


I am just applying the KISS rule here. I think it is better than confusing them with magic underwear.

[Johnson20]

15. What nonsense.

Please point me to your sources, or retract this BS. I agree with Motown.

[Logical]

17. You need to fucking read more. Joesph smith found the books go Mormon in Missouri!

[Johnson20]

18. And your point is what? BTW I am a Mormon.

[Logical]

28. I don't care about your religion. I think it is all made up shit but....

I Think you can believe anything you want. People have believed that mountains are god, etc.

[Johnson20]

32. Again you make bad mistakes.

I did not say I believed it, but I was born, raised and educated as a Mormon. I simply object to naive and ignorant comments on a topic few here no little about.

[Logical]

35. Ok.....

Magic underwear? True or false?
Jesus will return to Missouri? True or false?
Magical plates only he could read? True or false?

[Johnson20]

37. IMO false. However your comments are very naive and devoid of any context. Nuff said

devoid

[Phlem]

43. wow just as open minded as my Mormon father in law.

Whom I don't speak with anymore.



-p

[Johnson20]

51. Please point to

any of my statements that showed I had a closed mind. I have neither defended or apologized for Mormonism. But, I refuse to suffer simplistic and ridiculous statements about it that are only designed to ridicule, not cast fact on a topic. BTW your statement above is one of them.

As an aside I am 70 years old and have seen a lot of this world and there is far more closed mindedness here, on DU than I have ever encountered before, anywhere and it make me angry when I see it.

[Phlem]

60. Facinating

"But, I refuse to suffer simplistic and ridiculous statements about it that are only designed to ridicule, not cast fact on a topic."

Which is exactly why I don't talk to my father in law anymore.

Watch the Pride, it's one of the seven.

Good luck on DU.

-p

[Johnson20]

61. Yes, I completly understand your position. People enamored by a religion frequently

don't want to hear any criticism or differing opinion. The same might be said about politics and some of the folks here on DU. You challenge one of their beliefs, memes or mantras and they want to shut you down with intimidation and/or ridicule, seldom fact or logic.

Thanks for understanding my position as well!!!!

[Phlem]

68. You are so welcome.

How refreshing and wonderful it is to talk to some one who actually uses their grey matter.

Peace to you my friend and have a wonderful weekend!



-p

[DevonRex]

66. I must say that imo he's been civil and respectful.

He doesn't even believe in some of that stuff, so he's obviously open-minded.

[Phlem]

70. Oh he's open minded for even being here.

But his fucking PRIDE over the top pride makes me want to barf.

To even get upset at the minutia about his religion is ugly PRIDE showing through in a big way. I have been talked down to in that tone for way to fucking long and I don't care if he's 70. They all think they are more special in some fucking way than rest of us and I'm sick of it! I've worked for mormons (of whom quickly fucked me over), dated mormons (who broke me into a million pieces), married a non practicing mormon (thank god she completely disagrees with the religion) and have been surrounded by her family way to long. They are all hypocritical ignorant fools who think they are better than rest of us. Did'nt you see Mittens wife talk to that crowd like they were kids. Yea that.

I got a big wiff of that from him.

So I told him good luck instead of tearing him a new asshole.

-p

[Johnson20]

22. Well ? Oh, BTW he didn't find any "Books" in Missouri

[Logical]

31. My bad, he thought the fucking garden of Eden was in MO. LOL

[FreeState]

23. up state New York n/t

[Johnson20]

34. Yes correct, but not a book.

They were golden tablets that he translated into the Book of Mormon.

[FreeState]

47. Yep - but the plates were devided into sections

Not sure if chapters and verses were added after (sealed portion too).

[surfdog]

42. No I won't source it

And I refuse to retracted it

Now what you going to do ?

[Johnson20]

52. Figured you wouldn't or, more likely you can't,

that tells me a lot about the worth and value of your comments here on DU.

Edited for syntax

[UnrepentantLiberal]

50. Jesus is coming to Motown?

That raises my opinion of him.

[REP]

57. The ignorance about LDS and RLDS is astounding

I'm not a member of either, but I am from Missouri - Jackson County, in fact - and I am aware of some of the basic tenets. I find it puzzling that some who are mocking some LDS beliefs and practices may accept unquestioningly that a cracker and wine transforms into the living flesh of a deity.

[Johnson20]

62. Well, REP

"we can't fix stupid," can we.

[Phlem]

19. Has any one wondered about his motivation?

has any one heard of this:

white horse prophecy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Horse_Prophecy

-p

[Johnson20]

63. I remember some of this

very vaguely from years and years ago.

[RC]

20. The world headquarters for the Latter Day Saints is in Independence MO

Last edited Fri Feb 3, 2012, 04:03 PM - Edit history (1)

So what's the deal with Springfield?


Edit to add: Gee and I Googled this too.

[Johnson20]

24. Gee RC all these years I thought it was in SLC.

Wow what a remarkable way to show, shall I say, ignorance of a topic.

[FreeState]

26. That's not the Mormom Church - that a break off - liberal too

It was RLDS (reorganized LDS) - now called Community of Christ. Very progressive compared to SLC Mormons.

Link: http://www.cofchrist.org/

[Johnson20]

29. Thanks FreeState.n/t

[xmas74]

78. That's the RLDS

not LDS.

Oh, and a former member of Devo works for them in legal services. (No lie-just a bit of trivia for you! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Lewis_(musician) http://www.cofchrist.org/directory/staff3.asp#l (directory-look for Robert Lewis)
They did an interview with him a couple of years ago on a local radio station.

[flexnor]

25. I wouldnt blame Jesus for building a theatre in Branson MO

and cutting out all the middlemen getting rich off him

[kentuck]

33. Jesus Just Left Chicago...

And he's bound for New Orleans.

[The Genealogist]

38. He is returning to Springfield, Missouri? I hope he picks my house!

That would be fun, having Jesus for a roomie!

[DefenseLawyer]

39. Oh and Jesus... tomorrow's already the 10th...

"Far out"
"So if you could just slip the rent under my door..."
"Oh! Right. Okay, man"

JC abides

[Son of Gob]

44. OVER THE LINE DefenseLawyer

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero! It's a league game DefenseLawyer.

[DefenseLawyer]

45. Dios mio, man

I shouldn't have fucked with The Jesus.

[kentuck]

40. If Jesus Came To Your House...

Red Sovine

[The Genealogist]

53. I've no idea how I missed that gem

that is some sentimental stuff right there! If Jesus came to my house, I guess one thing I'd do would be to whip up a nice Merlot for dinner.

[HopeHoops]

41. "Jesus done left Chicago. And he's bound for New Orleans." - Missouri? Maybe in transit.

[hatrack]

46. Yeah, and that's after waitin' for the bus all day . . .

[DefenseLawyer]

48. Have mercy. n/t

[surfdog]

54. Lordy Lordy

[REP]

55. Why not check with the LDS? It's Jackson County, MO - not Springfield MO

Both LDS and RLDS follow that teaching (I'm from Kansas City MO and my college graduation ceremony was held in the RLDS tabernacle).

http://www.mrm.org/eden

[Jazzgirl]

58. I was raised in Springfield.

I left because of the closed-minded mentality there. I can't stand that town except for the Cashew Chicken.

[pdx_prog]

75. hahaha...

I too was raised in "Sprangfeel". Was there until my 10th grade year in high school. And yes, the cashew chicken is to die for...lol

[white_wolf]

59. The beliefs you listed aren't any sillier than the beliefs of other religions.

Including mainstream Christianity. In some ways, some of Mormonism's additions make more sense than original Christianity. The "social-trinity" in Mormonism makes a lot more sense than the traditional version, the belief in multiple gods fits in better with what we know of the beliefs of the earliest Jews.

Is a 2000 year old dead Jewish rabbi returning to rule the earth from Jerusalem any less silly than him ruling from Missouri? Sorry, all God-centered belief systems are silly, Mormonism is no more so than the others.

[surfdog]

64. I Agree

[DevonRex]

65. Exactly. It's ridiculous for one religion to

act like the others are silly. I mean, come on. And I'm a spiritual person who doesn't necessarily subscribe to any of them, or maybe I subscribe to several or all. Just can't decide.

But there's no use in having a silly contest. They'd all win.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

76. Will he be riding a donkey?

[xmas74]

77. I thought it was Independence,MO

not Springfield.

(And just wanted to add-Independence because it's the headquarters for the RLDS.)