Elizabeth Smart: Abstinence Education Teaches Rape Victims They’re Worthless, Dirty, And Filthy

[DonViejo]

Elizabeth Smart became a household name after she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City, UT at the age of 14 and held in captivity for nine months. She was forced into a polygamous marriage, tethered to a metal cable, and raped daily until she was rescued from her captors nine months later. Smart was recovered while she and her kidnappers were walking down a suburban street, leading many Americans who followed her story on the national news to wonder: Why didn’t she just run away as soon as she was brought outside?

Speaking to an audience at Johns Hopkins about issues of human trafficking and sexual violence, Smart recently offered an answer to that question. She explained that some human trafficking victims don’t run away because they feel worthless after being raped, particularly if they have been raised in conservative cultures that push abstinence-only education and emphasize sexual purity:

Smart said she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”

Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.

“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”

full article:
http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/05/06/1967591/elizabeth-smart-abstinence-ed/

[Skittles]

1. what an intelligent, lovely young lady she is

and courageous too

[roguevalley]

22. I really like her. Good for her to be brave.

[Mister Ed]

69. I admire her a great deal, and make sure to pay attention to what she says.

When she was rescued, I refused to read any articles about her ordeal. Since she hadn't invited me to, I felt as if it would be very wrong for me to appoint myself a spectator to her suffering.

When she did ask me to hear of it - that is, when she insisted on testifying in court, and declared that she wanted everyone to know exactly what that despicable creature was guilty of doing to her - then I sat down and dutifully read a long article from start to finish.

I hope that makes sense. I don't know if it's the right way or the wrong way for me to react.

[KitSileya]

72. I think that's exactly the right way to act.

I hate the nosy aspect of the press in these instances - these are ordinary citizens against whom crimes have been committed. We don't need journalists to dig up every little tidbit about their ordeal just so that it can be splashed across the front pages just to garner more profit for the Murdochs of the world. If they want to tell their stories, that's another matter, but they certainly shouldn't be hounded to tell their stories moments after they've been rescued, and they shouldn't hound their families either. That's what's happening these days, and I am sure it makes it more difficult for them to work through their trauma. They deserve that we respect them and give them all the space they need. We don't need every salacious detail revealed by their second cousin once removed or a dirty cop who are out to earn a few bucks by squealing to the newspapers.

[pnwmom]

2. Wow. Who better than Elizabeth Smart to speak out for girls and women everywhere?

What a strong woman.

[Fumesucker]

3. K&R

[Warren DeMontague]

4. I salute her. She is very brave, and very tough.

And, she's right.

[Generic Other]

5. Good for her to speak out

She is a beautiful brave woman who was jarred out of the sheltered life her family hoped for her, but who has found a new calling. Another reason why sex education is about providing information not casting judgment.

[ZRT2209]

6. love to you Elizabeth. thank you for your courage.

[Comrade Grumpy]

7. One of my childhood acquaintances is the guy who kidnapped her.

Brian Mitchell. Very crazy guy (although not as a kid).

My mom still exchanges Christmas cards with his mom.

[etherealtruth]

24. I hate those creepy "coincidences"

They mean nothing (of course), but I really hate it!

[kestrel91316]

30. Yeah. I have my own creepy coincidence:

This guy's son and daughter-in-law were clients at the first practice I worked in when I came to L.A.:

http://articles.latimes.com/1987-10-18/local/me-15130_1_justice-system

I met him a couple of times (before he was a murderer). He was creepy.

[etherealtruth]

43. Even though random encounters are nothing more than that

... I know they leave you with that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you find out the horrors they were capable of.

[LondonReign2]

52. True

I was once on the same flight as Jeb Bush

[robbob]

57. LOL!!!!

You owe me a new keyboard....

[Duval]

67. LOL n/t

[Grins]

71. And me with James Watts, Reagan's Sec. of the Interior....

The shit-weasel who thought the Beach Boys were not wholesome family fare and banned them from the 4th of July concert on the Mall.

Evan Reagan ran from that one.

[freshwest]

8. I salute her for getting the word out how destructive all of this is.

This should be taught to all who deal with victims. They will not always speak out, but it doesn't mean whatever is nothing.

[angstlessk]

9. I would say that the more important part of being raped is how it is treated..both

before and after...

I was attending Catholic school when I was raped at 11...I am sure my mother told the nuns...or at least mother superior..as when I was back in school the nun talked about this little girl who was attempted to be raped ..and she let the men kill her rather than allow them to rape her...and my thought was...I was not given a choice...and of course the next thought was..if I had, would I want them to kill me?

This was after my mother told me to get into the shower and wash the filth off of my body...when we got back from the police....I was 11 years old!

I recall they sent me to a shrink and I felt about 3 inches tall sitting in the chair across from the doctor.

[eissa]

12. Been there

Not raped, but close. Family reaction was similar to what you experienced. It takes a very strong person to recognize how fucked up that thinking is and move past it. I never, not once, felt what happened to me was my fault, despite the type of questioning I received. Sending good thoughts your way

As to Elizabeth, what an amazing woman. Not only for surviving such a horrific ordeal, but using her experience to speak out and educate others. A remarkable woman.

[angstlessk]

15. I will tell you what...I have gotten more healing from DU

Than any place I have attempted...even when I was in AA when I mentioned my rape..women thought I was just vying for attention!..

Here especially in the Sexual Assault Survivors Support group ...all healing and no blame...

[question everything]

33. How strong you are and thank you for crediting DU

Even in the 21st Century, some still feel that the girl/woman "asked for it."

Wishing you continued healing. I hope you walk around with your head high. You deserve it. You've earned it.

[Melinda]

39. Sexual Assault Survivors Support group? Here on DU? Can you share the link, please?

I had no idea...

[MineralMan]

53. Here you go with the link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1266

I hope that helps!

[HockeyMom]

20. My friend was raped at 11 also

walking home from Catholic school in her uniform. Totally different story because her parents didn't swallow the Catholic teaching. She fought her rapist and was severely beaten, although not killed, because her neighbors heard her screams. Her parents, and the police, took her to a State Run, not local Catholic, Hospital and she was given the then equivalent of the Morning After Pill. Her parents did not want their little girl to have a rapist baby despite what their religion said. My friend was in counseling, paid for by her parents, for many, many years after that. No man, including her Dad, could touch her. She told me years later that she had thoughts of committing suicide afterwards, and that if she had been forced to have a rapist baby, she definitely would have. She told me that when she was all of 14 years old.

My friend was very, very fortunate to have supportive parents who weren't blinded by religion. They did the right thing for their daughter.

[angstlessk]

23. I think because I was so withdrawn afterward that the doctor said I was hopeless

I had maybe 4 sessions and group therapy... They even considered sending me to a Catholic boarding school...OH how I wish they would have..but they probably could not afford it...

Your friend sounds lucky indeed to have had supportive parents...I hope she healed..this place is a wonderfully supportive community and I must say, has helped me more than anything I have attempted....even professional help

[wryter2000]

55. What a horror

I should say "horrors." First, to be raped at such a young age. Second and third, to be treated that way by your parents and school. I can't tell you how angry that makes me.

[tridim]

10. Please keep speaking Elizabeth. Thank you!

[angstlessk]

11. Could you repost this in the Sexual Assault Victims room?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1266

[KinMd]

13. Republicans would want to know..

if we're talking about a "legitimate rape"

[matt819]

14. Valuable Perspective

I'd still be interested to know her political leaning.

[angstlessk]

16. I don't care her political leaning.....this is IMPORTANT

for women of all political persuasions!

[motocicleta2]

42. Agreed

I'm as aggressive a leftie as there is, and I'm donating to her foundation. What courage and strength she embodies. What an example for all of us.

[sheshe2]

17. Such a brave woman,

Thank you for Elizabeth, for speaking out.

[Arugula Latte]

18. Reject religion, embrace reason.

[MichiganVote]

19. For some survivors, religious affiliation helps them to heal.

Its really all in what the survivor believes. And that's ok too. Its their healing.

[JI7]

41. did elizabeth reject religion ? abstinence is pushed by certain people but not everyone

who is religious.

[marshall]

49. She is a devout Mormon

Returned missionary and temple marriage. You can't get anymore devout than that.

[undeterred]

61. I have a feeling she got some really excellent counseling after her ordeal.

I don't think she rejected Mormonism but she got her head on straight about her sexuality... and maybe that the shaming involved in religious teaching was wrong in itself. Its amazing how open and positive she is. And after what shes been through, that's an accomplishment.

[FreeState]

65. You can be devout and not be a wacko

Seriously, there are liberal Mormons and even conservative Mormons who are decent human beings, just like any other group.

My family, among the 8 children, all the boys and more than half of the girls went on missions (6 of us total) and all but I are devout temple attending Mormons. 7 of the 8 voted for Obama. 7 of the 8 are pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. Of them only one self identifies as a Democrat.

[BlueCaliDem]

21. What an intelligent, compassionate, insightful and courageous young lady

Elizabeth is.

[texshelters]

25. Thank you for posting this

I would like to see more research on this. The religious right are so messed up about sex.

PTxS

[Initech]

26. How does sex compare to chewing gum?

[ejpoeta]

46. it's used and thrown away.

[marshall]

50. It's used once and nobody else wants it

Another variation of the lesson is to pass a donut around the room of young girls. After it has been handled by everyone and is dirty, crumbling, and mashed up, the teacher asks "who wants to eat it now?"

[olddots]

27. Thankyou Elizabeth from way too many people

who have been thru a private hell that so many "god fearing " cowards refuse to think or feel about .

[BlancheSplanchnik]

54. you said it perfectly.

thank you to Elizabeth Smart who is very very brave and smart.


It's all so easy when the self-righteous can't bother with a different experience than their own.

[G_j]

28. K&R!

[Ilsa]

29. I admire her for being vocal

about her horrible experience and how certain types of religious indoctrination affect healing.

She's done wonderful things for other victims.

[Delmette]

31. Abstinence education sounds like

Blame the victim before she is a victim.

[ejpoeta]

47. it's like in the handmaid's tale...

where the girl was raped and the girls would sit and blame her. and eventually she would say it was her fault.

[TNNurse]

32. Thank you Elizabeth

She has done an amazing service to tell her story. Hopefully she will be a help to other women. Can you nominate someone for one of those Profiles in Courage Awards? I think she qualifies.

[abelenkpe]

34. K&R nt

[abelenkpe]

35. K&R nt

[October]

36. What a brave young woman!

K&R

[Nanjing to Seoul]

37. But you rape victims are worthless, dirty and flithy. . .if you weren't, men wouldn't rape you

I mean, can't you just enjoy it?

And remember, if you do get raped, we all know a woman's body has defense mechanisms to prevent pregnancy. Especially if it's "legitimate rape." Some guy named Akin told me this.

(note: HUGE AMOUNTS OF SARCASM HERE!!! Don't think I'm being serious!)

[patricia92243]

38. I wondeer if her parents views are still the same as before the rape???? n/t

[Melinda]

40. Shame kills a soul. Elizabeth Smart is a brave young woman.

Blessings to her always, and many thanks.

[Dorian Gray]

44. She is brave and strong

and an amazing woman. I'm impressed that she's out there getting this message out to people. It's really important, and her persepctive obviously gives great weight to her message.

[mountain grammy]

48. Thank you for your courage, Elizabeth. By speaking out you will help more rape victims

than any religion ever could.

[Bay Boy]

51. Has her family rejected her or

was this a false concept she had based on her upbringing?

[leftyladyfrommo]

56. Oh, I don't think so.

Her family has always been right by her side doing everything they could to help her.

But she was raised Mormon in Salt Lake City. Such conservative views on things.

However, when I lived there the going joke was that "when a virgin walked into the Temple Ground Moroni would blow his horn." Moroni is the angel with the horn on top of the Temple.

The other joke was that Mormons don't smoke or drink but they will sleep with anyone.

I don't think either one of those things is true. Mormon kids in high school weren't any different than any kids. There were very religious kids and very not religious kids.

[felix_numinous]

58. What a brave woman

to stand up for all women.

DOWN with the double standard!! Why won't it die??? We tried to kill it once and it was on it's way out--now it is back in full force.

The domination and abuse of women is a bad OMEN for any society--it is a direct sign of sociopathy, like torturing little animals and destroying the planet.

The raping and pillaging of our society is a result of a dominating paradigm of the corporate MIC elite--who wish to CONTROL people, even if they have to finance fundamentalist religions to infiltrate military, educational and political institutions---it has to be STOPPED.

[Politicub]

59. Powerful words coming from her

Abstinence education is the ultimate oxymoron.

It's like saying Scalia has a great legal mind.

[AtheistCrusader]

60. That's because abstinence education isn't scientifically designed for human health and sexuality.

It's designed for control. Behavior modification.

[MsPithy]

62. Christianity has misogyny at its heart, starting with original sin.

Go ahead and flame me, but it is true. The fact that other organized religions are just as bad, does not make it any better.

Elizabeth Smart is very brave to publicly make such an important point, a point that many of us have probably never considered before. The insidious, corrosive effect of christian misogyny. "Abstinence only," robs women of their sexual autonomy, their sexuallity belongs to their church, their father or their husband.

Has anyone made the point that Mark Sanford is a slut? Or, a used piece of chewing gum?

[thucythucy]

63. So according to the "abstinance only" folks,

having sex with someone is analogous to chewing her/him up and spitting her/him out?

What an absolutely disgusting thing to tell young people.

[Blue Owl]

64. Fuck them and their sick fuck Purity Balls

n/t

[blackspade]

66. Heartbreaking.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

68. We heard this crap at school from a movie with Ann Landers in it.

And Ann Landers was Jewish. She had helmet hair and badly fitting dentures. She didn't talk like her dentures fit at all. Middle America lapped up her right-wing morality and assorted horseshit.

They showed us a movie where she was talking about what to do on a date: "Bowling, dancing, talking--ANYTHING but making out".

She said boys only want one thing, and when they get it they will throw you away like used Kleenex, because if you're not a virgin you are worthless.

Same harmful crap Elizabeth Smart is talking about. I believed this crap because we did not get any actual sex education in high school. We got misinformation. Like two virgins get it on in the backseat of a car, feel guilty and give each other VD.

Nobody told me anything different from this abstinence crap, so I believed it. I graduated from high school in 1972. I got to college and started having safe sex, and found out that god wouldn't strike me dead if I had sex, and boys wouldn't abandon me after one sex act.
I felt really guilty although I did not grow up in a particularly religious household.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

70. kick.

[proverbialwisdom]

73. Google: elizabeth smart and alicia kozakiewicz

Join their advocacy group(s). Lend a helping hand, as they ask.


Mere murmurs of concern or support are insufficient.

[caseymoz]

74. +1,000,000