THIS is why poverty is like a Black Hole with no escape...

[FirstLight]

This post was inspired by this discussion earlier this week "The 4 types of people on Welfare Nobody talks about"

I posted a reply there that had me thinking it needed it's own OP, because this poverty thing is growing like a plague on our society and there are those of us who feel we may never escape it's clutches, no matter what we do

Is it futile for me to try? have the cards been stacked so drastically against me that I will never break free?
some days, it sure feels that way.

Went back to school online to finish my BA because 15 years of experience in my field is still not good enough to get a full time gig that will support my family. I am hoping that those letters after my name will make a difference next year. (going for my BA in Journalism...) At least welfare can't dock me for the financial aid $ and that comes in handy to fill in the gaps that $600 a month leave behind...seems like I am always at least a month behind in any given utility, my car registration is overdue, etc...

So a friend sends me a note about a PT gig for the summer...sounds like it would help, right?
9am - 1pm ...20 hrs/week @ $10-12/hr = about $200/week

daycamp for the kids = $200/week
foodstamps would go down because of income
HUD rent would go UP
cash aid would go down too

so what is the fucking POINT???

See, there is this "shelf" between poverty and self-sufficiency that makes it virtually impossible to get out of the hole.
Unless you can land something that makes you $30K/year... you are standing on the edge of a precipice that leaves you no net, and no 'bootstraps' to hold on to.

I grew up in an upper-middle class family, my dad worked for the phone company and he was able to save and retire like a normal hard-working American at 55 in the late 80s... that life is no longer an option for us. I can't explain to him that $100 is merely a drop in the bucket when faced with gas prices, utilities, vet, kids needs, and the like. They want to help me but really, unless they have a few grand to drop in my lap, it is just nickels and dimes in this world. Not to mention that our society has made it almost necessary that we have TWO income households now.

Don't know how to get myself out of this hole, but I'm still trying. Maybe there will be a "good job" waiting for me once I finish my BA...it's the only thing that keeps me going on days like this...I guess it's the new American DREAM.

[villager]

1. Hang in there. Single dad (with halftime custody) here, who's been generally struggling

...here in L.A., though some years are better than others.

I write, too, teach, etc. Last couple years were pretty rough. And at times, it's hard not get dispirited. But I always found that getting completely dispirited kept me mired.

I've had to let the idea of a good credit score go, and take things a step at a time. Hopefully the better breaks will start accumulating for you, too....

[FirstLight]

2. credit score?

HA! Ya, that bird flew the coop before there even was such a thing...I haven't had "credit" since I was 20!

It's been off & on for me since 1992...my entire adult life... and my kids are growing up in a very different reality because of it.

The only saving grace is living in a small rural town, it's not so 'mainstream' here and we can find a lot of things to do that are free.

Better breaks are illusion IMO...things can go great but it's never enough to catapult us beyond the cliff.

[villager]

3. Well, I agree there's no such thing as true "Security" anymore....

I'm in the midst of a whole rental/house repair hassle with the property "managers" that may force a move -- here in the city -- just when I'd started to save a little from last year.

But there are macro issues much bigger than us. Hence, the need to also focus on how to be present for ourselves, and our loved ones, in the day-to-day...

[FirstLight]

4. I know

you are right in the emotional and personal sense...I a, just NOT there right now. This week has left me angry and destitute for no reason...I can't figure out why I came up short on rent after buying TP, soap, basic stuff & gas for the car, etc...it's just one of those "bad months" that makes me pissed at the whole fucked up system.

I praise your ability to stay focused on your loved ones...and in reality me and the kids are fine in the personal sense of having relatively normal summer days, playing with friends, etc. I am just needing to vent and be heard about the macro of this bullshit cycle of welfare life...

[villager]

5. I understand absolutely, having been in that same place so frequently, the last 2 -3 years

At some point, we'll probably need to devise a practical plan for collectives, cooperatives, etc., to help each other muster through!

[FirstLight]

6. kick

because poverty remains the same even when we are all freaking out over wiretapping bullshit that has been going on for decades...

[OneGrassRoot]

7. Very, very well said, FirstLight...

[Orrex]

8. Bookmarking for later...

[Lady Freedom Returns]

9. K & R

[Fumesucker]

10. K&R

[Lady Freedom Returns]

11. One more time, KICK!

People need to hear from those that are going through this kind of stuff.

They need to see how the system really works, not just what the "experts" say!

[FirstLight]

13. thanks...

I wonder if it matters sometimes...I come here and vent, but it seems that poverty isn't really a 'sexy' topic.

I wish I could think of another place to make this heard, maybe I'll write an article and send it to ....?

I was so depressed this morning after writing this and crying to a friend on the phone, all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and hide from it all... there's another whole paper waiting to be written right there. the cycle of depression and self loathing...

[Lady Freedom Returns]

15. I truly understand.

The system makes it hard to get ahead. Even if you get into one of the "Welfare to Work", they seem to punish you for starting to get a foot hold.

One is on a slippery step, and they seem to always pull the one brace you have at the most critical time. That is if one dares to reach for better.

I have many times for the last 2 years been crying from the weight of the pressures and the blockades I have found.

It hurts. I know.

[steve2470]

12. k&r nt

[FirstLight]

14. another kick

thanks guys...but poverty just isn't as sexy as wiretapping and surveillance...

[FirstLight]

16. so i decided to stay fociused on school and damn the torpedos...

Had a good long talk with a friend who just finished being unemployed for 2 years. She knows exactly what it's like 'holding out' for something better when you are struggling. (...she is a lawyer and had to wait for the right job because anything else would not pay her student loans and allow her to just LIVE ...and after working in the State Assembly, being offered a paralegal job at half the salary was not going to cut it...)

Anyway, she reminded me that my constant hurdle in my career has always been the degree. That sticking to this commitment of school was really okay and I am allowed to focus on long term results rather than short term 'fixes' which eventually end up screwing you. she said "I know the degree isn't going to be 'magic'...but it will sure make a difference in the long run. and THAT'S where you have to keep focused...the long run." These stupid receptionist jobs are NOT for a mother of children, they are college-kid jobs that will leave me MORE stressed, MORE depleted, and worse off financially once I did the math.

In the famous words of Dory: (Finding Nemo)
"just keep swimming"


...it may not help my depression at the way things are today, but tomorrow is another day and I will get up and keep on going...because that's all I CAN do.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

17. kick