President Santorum to launch Department of Sexual Positions

[rurallib]

and add a new bureau to HHS. The new bureau will be titled "Has the egg been Fertilized?"
A semen detector will be implanted in every woman between the ages of 13 and 50 during their regular visits to their doctors. An alert will be sent to local bureau offices when semen has been detected in a woman's vagina. Pregnancy tests will then be administered within 8 hours.

The semen detector will also be able to determine if an unapproved sexual position is being attempted. Local department employees will be notified immediately and an intervention will take place ASAP. Fines and jail time will be assessed after a first warning.

Your government thanks you for your cooperation. America can only be great if it is not overcome by the wages of sin.
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Even as I try to write a little satire, I know it is not out of the realm of possibility.

[Old and In the Way]

1. I've been saying - you can't protect the rights of Blasto-citizens if you don't know they exist.

The only fair and equal application of the law will be to put webcams in everyone's bedroom and require weekly pregnancy testing of all women of childbearing age. It looks like Virginia Republicans are ready to move into this Brave New World. Don't you love "small government" Republican solutions to problems that don't exist?

[RC]

2. Are they going to publish a booklet with pictures or something, so

we will know what the unapproved sexual positions are?

Or is anything other than their standard missionary position unapproved?

[rurallib]

3. Missionary only of course - certainly never doggy