George Zimmerman Offers To Just Plead Guilty And Pay Fine Or Whatever

[Fantastic Anarchist]

SANFORD, FL—Claiming that his second-degree murder trial has “dragged on for way too long,” sources confirmed Thursday that former neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman offered to just plead guilty and pay the fine or whatever. “Look, I’m sick of having to deal with this, so just let me pay the 100 bucks or whatever it is and I’ll be on my way,” said Zimmerman, noting that he has already wasted three weeks in court fighting his murder charge in the February 2012 shooting death of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. “At this point, I don’t even care anymore. I’ll take the slap on the wrist if it means I can get back to my life. And if I have to do community service or something then, fine, I’ll do that too.” Zimmerman added that he really needed to wrap things up by tomorrow at the latest, since he has “already missed way too many days of work for this stupid thing.”

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[Stuart G]

1. Is this for real? Is this some kind of joke??? Did this jerk really say this???and..

if he did...how stupid can he be?????....It is hard to believe...they will get him on manslaughter..and he will get 15 years..
then he can get back to his life..after 15 years in jail.......

[winter is coming]

3. Joke. I've actually got the trial on today and they're doing closing arguments. n/t

[cyberswede]

4. Looks like the link goes to the Onion

I hovered, but didn't click it.

[Stuart G]

6. Yep..Onion....I clicked...and you got me.....not the first..won't be the last...nt....

[Fantastic Anarchist]

9. I've been got many times, too.

That's what I like about The Onion - it mirrors reality so well, and that reality appears to be ridiculous.

I'm at work now - Have summations started yet? I hope Zimmermann gets nailed. At least on manslaughter.

[Iggo]

16. Obvious satire is obvious.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Isn't this a bit too late? I mean, the time for this would have been much earlier in the process.

[cyberswede]

5. Could you add "The Onion" to your thread title?

Some won't realize it's satire.

[ChazII]

7. Agree 100% n/t

[Ichingcarpenter]

8. It does capture the defendant's demeanoranor

except the Onion always takes it to the next level.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

10. I like how it mirrors reality.

That's why I wanted to not disclose the source.

I'm subversive like that.

[snooper2]

12. Some alert anyway LOL

At Thu Jul 11, 2013, 12:50 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

George Zimmerman Offers To Just Plead Guilty And Pay Fine Or Whatever
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023225633

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

too raw, tasteless

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Jul 11, 2013, 01:02 PM, and the Jury voted 2-4 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: This post is from The Onion and clearly satire. Leave it.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: It is the Onion. People like raw onions and they are not tasteless either.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT and said: It is a sick joke, imho. Closing arguments are happening right now.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: There is no indication that it's satire. It's just plain dumb and disruptive.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: too raw? tasteless? You should be one busy alerter if those are your criteria LOL
-
-
Now, back to the really raw, how about some
Greatness that is!
-

-

Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Onion satire. Leave it.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

14. Wow, I didn't think my OP was alert-worthy.

I was trying to show how cavalier Zimmerman has been throughout his ordeal.

He honestly doesn't think he did anything wrong, even though he murdered someone.

The Onion mirrors reality and reality is getting to be more and more unreal. Hence, why I posted it in such a manner. The Onion, and myself by posting the article, are trying to show that.

[Iggo]

15. Hey Juror #4.

If they gotta tell you it's satire, then it ain't satire anymore.

[raccoon]

11. Well, aren't you cute. nt

[Fantastic Anarchist]

13. Thank you.

Certainly unsolicited, but I'll take compliments when I can get them.

[GObamaGO]

17. Ah, The Onion strikes again

Sadly, it really is not that far from the truth.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

18. Exactly why I posted it.

But some took it the wrong way and apparently alerted on it.

[GObamaGO]

19. OFFS

I knew it was The Onion without even looking at the link.

Satire, people, learn to recognize it!

Sorry you got alerted.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

21. Meh, I'll live.

[ecstatic]

20. I think

the Onion "went there" way too soon, although I can't imagine ever being at a point where I would find this funny. Trayvon is dead and, according to the talking heads on TV, Z will get to walk away like nothing happened.

[bravenak]

22. That's exactly how I think he thinks.

Got me good.