Epic Food Review
Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever
excerpt:
Ruffles Ultimate Smokehouse Bacon Dip: This shit is white. It's not my business to tell a bacon-flavored dip what color it should be, but in the great rainbow of colors available for a bacon-flavored dip, white seems like a poor choice. Especially white with flecks of green and brown in it. It looks like congealed bacon grease, which is not something I would ever want to penetrate with a chip unless the congealed bacon grease came to life and was oozing across a countertop to try to eat my face and I happened not to have anything handy to fend it off with except for some chips. In which case, I certainly would like to think I'd have the restraint not to eat the chips with which I'd just stabbed the vivified bacon grease that had just now been hunting my face. I'm not ruling out the possibility that Ruffles Ultimate Smokehouse Bacon Dip would come to life and ooze across the countertop to feast upon my face, but if that is its plan, even if that is its plan, it could have disguised itself better.
It doesn't taste like bacon. It is weirdly and unidentifiably and unpleasantly tangy; just you try to eat some of it without reflexively checking the jar to make sure its sell-by date didn't lapse during the Bush administration. There is nothing remotely pleasant about Ruffles Ultimate Smokehouse Bacon Dip, except for the relief you feel when you return it to the garbage.
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http://deadspin.com/taste-test-the-ruffles-ultimate-line-which-you-must-n-846019474
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