I try to be a forgiving person and but sometimes when you deal with a certain type of person

[William769]

I just can't find a way to forgive. The person in this article & the people he worked with screwed up so many peoples life's and even caused deaths, I just cannot find it in me to forgive them.

Former Ex-Gay Staffer Apologizes to LGBT Community

The so-called ex-gay movement was left in shambles when Exodus International announced it was shutting down in June, and the group’s leader, Alan Chambers, publicly apologized for the harm it had caused LGBT people over the years for insisting they could be turned straight.

Now Randy Thomas, another long-term supporter and former employee of Exodus, has also issued an apology to the LGBT community for the damage the ex-gay organization caused.

“I participated in the hurtful echo chamber of condemnation," Thomas writes on his blog. "I gave lip service to the gay community, but really did not exemplify compassion for them. I apologize to the gay community for idealizing and reinforcing the institutional groupthink of Exodus. I apologize for remaining publicly silent about the hurt caused by some of Exodus’ leaders and actions. I also apologize for my inexperienced participation in public policy, placing my personal ambition over truly serving the gay community as a Christian friend.”

http://www.advocate.com/politics/2013/07/24/former-ex-gay-supporter-apologizes-lgbt-community

[darkangel218]

1. Some simply dont deserve to be forgiven.

I wouldn't either.

[William769]

2. Unfortunately, I believe you are correct.

It's hard to say how I feel about this because my emotions just run to high.

[MADem]

3. I can understand your reasoning and your deep feelings of essential betrayal.

I wonder, if that joint hadn't shut its doors, the former touters of the program would be so quick to deny it.

The paychecks have stopped. The enthusiasm was purchased.

[William769]

6. That very well could be.

[MADem]

14. They have to live with themselves--that's their 'punishment.'

They know what they did was wrong, and they know they did it for the cash...

[hrmjustin]

4. I have so many friends that escaped this crap and got here to NYC.

The horror they suffered under these people are unspeakable. Forgiveness is hard and a simple statement is not going to cut it for many people.

[William769]

8. Agreed.

Now that you mention it, there is a lot that they could do to make amends instead of just a statement.

[hrmjustin]

11. Oh sure! These people will have to do more than talk.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

5. If they were Machiavellian or doing it purely as cold blooded way to riches, I could understand

But regardless of how upsetting their stance was to you, if they were doing so based on their sincere belief and have now done a 180 quite publicly, why not think about forgiveness? You must admit that unlike a relatively uncommitted person choosing to reject gay rehabilitation, this highly prominent leader in the movement rejecting it is powerful beyond description.

[Warpy]

9. Yes, imagine the years of despair

as the god they so fervently believed in turned his back and refused to "cure" them.

Forgiving them doesn't mean there won't be schadenfreude when the multiple lawsuits have the two of them moving into cardboard condos under an overpass.

[Lordquinton]

19. Forgivness is the last step

Restitution comes well before that, they must restore what they damaged, which will be a long task for them. After that, maybe forgiveness will begin.

[Warpy]

7. Would you rather see them or be them?

If it's the former, that's the beginning of forgiveness.

[William769]

10. It must be late, I'm not quite following that.

[Warpy]

13. Yes, it's late

and I'm working on 4 hours' sleep last night. Maybe there is nothing to follow?

[DonRedwood]

12. Throughout history people who have turned on their own have been shunned

and some people, these men, deserve it.

I'd turn my back to them were I to be introduced.

[Douglas Carpenter]

15. At least in the past - people raised in strict conservative Evangelical/fundamentalist background

would have found it near impossible to accept that they were gay. Their whole belief system and social order would have required them to construct vast webs of self-deception just to face life. It is encouraging when someone with that sort of deep, deep religious indoctrination finally breaks through. They undoubtedly had put themselves through hell before they reached that point.

[William769]

16. I was raised Pentecostal (holly rollers & tent revival plus snake handling to boot in Kentucky

I never even came close to this.

[Douglas Carpenter]

17. frankly I was raised Pentecostal too .. and until my late 20's I lived in a complete denial of

reality. Some people are simply more susceptible to the whole sexual guilt thing then others. Some people do go through stages where they GENUINELY believe they are being delivered from the satanic curse of homosexuality. When reality catches up with them - they may have so much of their emotional system and are so deeply socialized into the Evangelical sub-culture that they cannot imagine any other path in life. Also, I think in earlier times - 40 years ago and more - I am sure even most gay people would have welcomed a cure if they thought it was possible. And fundamentalism promised them that it was.

[William769]

18. Well as a Gay man for about 45 years, changing was never an option.

[alittlelark]

20. uuuhhh, yeah.....

"...truly serving the gay community as a Christian friend.” .......yeah better LGBT support at your local pest exterminator.

Not accepting apology w/o SERIOUS rectifying of issues.

[Skittles]

21. perhaps an apology isn't enough, William

because of the damage he did, maybe he should do more than apologize

[William769]

22. Agreed.

[Skittles]

23. as far as apologies go, it does sound sincere

it doesn't sound like one of those pathetic non-apologies - perhaps a LGBT group could contact him with ideas for true atonement

[vlyons]

24. If you can't forgive today

hold the thought and hope in your mind that some day in the future, you can find a way to forgive. Don't close your mind to at least the possibility that you CAN forgive. That will help you tremendously to overcome your bitterness and anger at how you were unfairly hurt.