Michelle Duggar's submissive-wife tips

[liberal N proud]

That is just sickening

Duggar mom's secret to long marriage is wifely submission

If you can't seem to glean any tips for a lasting marriage from "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," there's another reality-TV star who has some wifely words of advice. Michelle Duggar, the unceasingly pregnant mom on (for now) "19 Kids and Counting," has been nabbed handing out pamphlets with nuggets of submissive wedded wisdom. Gems include never bringing up hubby's past failures (it will crush his spirit), looking at him "admiringly when he talks to others," and always "[accepting] him as a leader and [believing] in his God-given responsibilities." In other words, as @StephanieRogers indicates, "a blueprint for the ideal Stepford wife, Self-Replicating Fundamentalist Edition™," and based on the furor over Michele Bachmann's comments, the pamphlets won't win the Duggars any new viewers.

http://now.msn.com/living/0220-michelle-duggar-wives-submissive.aspx

Why do women think they have to be submissive to their husbands? I don't think I would enjoy the company of my wife if she were submissive and looked at me like that.

[malaise]

1. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahahahha

This lady is on her own

[Happyhippychick]

2. Why do some wear burkas? Oppression tied to religiosity. Only difference is our side doesn't see

The other.

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Michelle's got the Nancy Reagan "gaze" on.

[MADem]

5. I looked at that picture and thought "They look like siblings."

It reminded me of that SNL mock E-Harmony commercial, where the comedians played both the man and the woman in the relationship!

[izquierdista]

4. I thought that was what Cocker Spaniels were for

He hair even has that spaniel-esque curl to it. Arf-arf!

[peace frog]

20. If you want a friend in Hollywood, get a dog

Michelle is his faithful canine companion.

[LeftinOH]

6. He must have a massive (yet very Christian) ego;

he's seeded the equivalent of a small town, and the wife unfailingly submits every time he gets a boner. Creeeeeeeep.

[Le Taz Hot]

7. This misogynist crap has been going on for centuries.

When I got married the first time in 1975, some well-meaning co-worker gave me one of those types of books. Having no idea what it was all about I sat down to read it. It took me about a page-and-a-half to make sure I was reading what I thought I was reading and I, literally, threw it in the trash.

And let's get real, it's not just Christianity that espouses subjugating women, it's inherent in all three major religions. Those beliefs bedevil us into the 21st Century. If there are any questions, ask yourself, "How many women are heads of state at this moment?"

[TBF]

9. Not only heads of state - how many run Fortune 500 companies?

The answer is that in 2011 there were exactly 12 female CEO's at Fortune 500 companies: http://chiefexecutive.net/in-turbulent-times-women-may-prove-to-be-better-leaders-than-men

[laundry_queen]

14. Yes, it's definitely worse in the business world.

Very few women on the board of directors of these companies as well.

[Le Taz Hot]

15. Exactly right.

The problem permeates every level of society the world over -- all because of religious influence.

[HughBeaumont]

16. And the ones that ARE on boards and are CEOs suck.

Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman come to mind. Were they benevolent to their workers?

The female Pepsi CEO is about to lay off 8700 workers despite the company being profitable.

[TBF]

18. Let's compare them to men sitting on those boards. How many are benevolent to their workers?

It is not in the interest of capitalists to be benevolent - they want/must have all the profit they can get.

[Javaman]

8. she sounds like the victim of massive

mental abuse.

he must be a "joy" to live with.

[qazplm]

10. it would be utterly boring

I mean who wants someone totally submissive to them? I get the ego stroke, but that would last a very short time, and then it would get awfully uninteresting, boring, and you'd start to have contempt for the person.

I mean I don't want to spend a relationship in constant battle, but I also want someone who is independent, self-assured, and who wants to be with me, but doesn't center her entire life around me. Good grief that's draining.

I don't even understand it from a self-centered point of view, much less from a more gracious perspective.

[tularetom]

11. If my wife looked at me like that

I'd suspect she was up to something.

Don't kid yourselves. In spite of the umpteen kids, this is classic passive aggressive behavior. It's much easier to manipulate some dumb hick when she treats him like his shit don't stink.

[Mira]

23. Dang.

You got it figured out. And I mean that sincerely. Of course she is up to something. Could be, for instance, making sure she does not get hit. Just sayin'. Or keeping him unsuspecting from an attack from her.

There is nothing normal or acceptable about this. Both suffer, though in the forefront of their minds they may not have caught on to that.

[peace frog]

12. Now hunnybunnies, don't worry your sweet pretty little heads about anything

Last edited Tue Feb 21, 2012, 11:05 AM - Edit history (2)

Just let your menfolk take over your lives completely while you're barefoot, pregnant and chained to the kitchen sink.

[spanone]

13. god's plan, have enough children to qualify for a reality teevee show.

[Solly Mack]

17. If I looked at my husband like that he would be afraid to fall asleep at night.

He would suspect me of being up to something.

(and I probably would be)

[Honeycombe8]

27. LOL! That gave me a laugh. nt

[Solly Mack]

45. It's true though.

[Number23]

46. LoL! I was thinking the same thing!

If anyone looked at me like that, I'd have the willies so bad I'd ask them to go into another room.

If I looked at my husband like that, he'd probably back verrrrry slowly out of the room making sure he could see my hands at all times. Either that or start tossing Holy water at me.

[Solly Mack]

47. LOL Yes! Exactly. They would have to go into another room. Way away from me.

[newspeak]

19. what gets me is why the media gives them air time

Most of our media has jumped the shark years ago. Nothing but shallow, mostly fabricating, bullshite. So, I wonder about the corporate media's agenda.

My hubby and I have been married over thirty five years. If I'd gone all stepford on him, he probably would have divorced me years ago. We are partners, we are friends, we respect each others' intelligence. I never saw myself as a doormat nor him as a baby that must be pandered and coddled.

[Arkana]

21. Good lord that woman's creepy.

I hope she knows that she's going to suffer a host of medical issues when she's no longer able to have kids.

[HughBeaumont]

38. She's already no longer able to have kids.

The problem is Jim Dumb is too stupid/stubborn to process this reality and Michelle is too far gone and believes she can continue this broodmare stupidity until she dies.

[Missy Vixen]

41. I'm waiting for their doctor(s) to fire them

I'm wondering if it's already happened. A stillbirth, a miscarriage, a high-risk preemie in the past - what?, three years?. There isn't an OB/GYN on the planet that has not already counseled them to STOP before she has significant medical issues, up to and including dying.

Then again, their older daughters are raising the younger kids, aren't they?

[HughBeaumont]

44. Also, and I don't know who posted this before . . .

. . . but I think the youngest daughters have developmental delays as well. Isn't that another sign that it's time to stop filling Jim Dumb's "quiver"?

[XemaSab]

22. It goes hand in hand with being opposed to contraception and thinking the US is a Christian nation

among other things.

[Morning Dew]

24. That's why those men are so self confident yet full of fail

If your own spouse won't tell you the truth, who will?

[HangOnKids]

25. That photo SCREAMS "Mr sperm-man bring me a dream" n/t

[DCKit]

26. If I had a dog that looked at me like that, I'd be working on his/her self-esteem issues. nt

[Missy Vixen]

28. It's nice to know that I should consult God and my husband re: my hairstyle

If one clicks through a few times, one finds the verbiage of the "pamphlet" Michelle Duggar hands out, complete with instructions on appearance and hairstyles...

http://www.radaronline.com/sites/radaronline.com/files/Seven%20Basic%20Needs%20Of%20A%20Husband.pdf

I can hardly wait till my husband gets home this evening. I'm sure he's going to want to engage in THAT conversation.

[Sheepshank]

33. My husband absolutely adores me to go over every interior design decision too.....

recently I gave him sample of 13 different shades of purple for the girl's bedroom. I'm pretty sure he wasn't glazing over.

[Blue_In_AK]

29. The woman is brainwashed

as much as those kids at Westboro Baptist.

[magical thyme]

30. my rescue rhodesian ridgeback looks at me like that

We've worked on his insecurity and anxiety issues since day 1.

He no longer pees on the rug in front of the door while waiting for me to get my shoes on before taking him out. He hasn't chewed anything up while I was at work in several years now. He no longer ducks his head down if the end of the leash swings toward it. He no longer hides under the table when I bring out the broom to sweep.

It took a couple of years of consistent, kind, supportive work to get him over his abuse fears. For example, I decided to trust him to run outside to pee by himself instead of making him wait that extra minute for me to protect him from possibly running into the road. That enabled him to get out the door fast enough to not pee on the rug, which taught him that he *could* hold onto his pee until he was outside, which built his self-confidence. It broke the self-feeding loop of rug-peeing failure and replaced it with a self-feeding loop of no-rug peeing success.

But it took a lot of work and patience on my part, along with the recognition that it was fear and anxiety inflicted by abuse that prevented his success, and that making it virtually impossible for him to fail would break that cycle.

Same with everything else.

But of course, he is a dog so much more is possible...

[liberal N proud]

31. ROFL

insecurity issues

[Liberal_in_LA]

34. lol. Cats don't look at people like that.

[sudopod]

32. Many cultures in the galaxy consider it an act of war

to release active Von Neumann machines inside of their territory.

[Justice wanted]

35. Oh dead GAWD she sounds like that tips for housewife bull crap that was written in the 50s

Honestly who raised this woman? I don't know if I should feel sorry for this woman or slap sense into her.

[quakerboy]

36. No comment on the content

Other than being slightly surprised that the show is still around, I find them irrelevant to my concerns.

I got stuck on the picture. Is it just me, or does Mr. Duggar look slightly like a Kennedy? Albeit one who ran into a wall face first a few times.

[lumpy]

37. No he doesn't and he sure as hell doesn't act like a Kennedy. Well, except maybe for

doin' a lot of screwin'.

[hamsterjill]

39. Am I really living in 2012???!!!

Good heavens, this is like the dark ages.

The only reason these people are given air time at all is because they have mega-birthed. And they are about to be "shown up" by their friends, the Bates. Kelly Bates has actually given birth more times than Michelle Duggar (because of the birth of twins). I wonder if ole Jim Bob is worried about the gravy train coming to an end?

I'm sorry, but the submissive stuff is just crap. I could not possibly fall in love with a man who didn't see me as an equal.

[blue neen]

40. Yes, I think I'll start wrapping myself in Saran Wrap and greeting hubby at the front door.

Remember that book from the 70's, "The Total Woman?"

It's sad to think that people still have the same Neanderthal attitudes.

[liberal N proud]

43. Only if you are doing it for his pleasure and not yours

But if it is your pleasure, by all means, I say go for it.

[blue neen]

50. Oh, no thanks!

Saran Wrap and hot flashes do not go together very well!

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

42. Two completely stupid people who deserve one another

I'd say she likely needs someone to lead her around like a child, but he's as fucking dumb as she is.

[Taitertots]

48. Her main error is that in a successful relationship both people must give in sometimes

If she was telling both partners to do those behaviors in a gender neutral fashion, then some of it would make sense.

How about neither partner hassle the other about their past failures? Who (male or female) likes having their past failures rubbed in their face?

"Ask your husband to define your responsibilities; Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; dispel a backbiting tongue by silence"
Define the responsibilities in a relationship. Tell your partner that you want them to tell you if you are being resistant to your responsibilities/role in the relationship. Don't respond to well meaning criticism with negative comments, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

How can you be the person of your lover's dreams? A person should develop their "inward and outward" beauty.

[Raine]

49. That's sad. My boyfriend always encouraged me to speak up

he wanted my opinion and wanted me to fight (figuratively) for what I wanted/believed. He would get annoyed if he asked my opinion and I left it up to him (somethings I really didn't have an opinion on and it didn't matter to me). He wanted an equal partner someone who shared the responsibility for decisions, wanted my input.