A Republican Congressman's Weekly Agenda
Monday: Open and answer mail from constituents. Answer all with the same form letter: all America's problems will self-correct if we cut taxes and repeal Obamacare. We have an autoresponder on our email server for all the people who send us letters electronically.
Tuesday: Write, debate and pass Obamacare repeal bill. Look on in dismay as Senator Franken lights a cigar with it as soon as it gets to the Senate floor.
Wednesday: Write, debate and pass ACORN defunding bill. File motion of protest after Senator Warren intercepts the bill before it reaches the Senate chamber and disappears into the ladies' room with it. When she leaves the bathroom, the bill is not in her possession.
Thursday: Write and debate tax cut bill. Also attempt to pass bill prohibiting the use of Republican-authored legislation for the lighting of cigars or wiping of asses.
Friday: Fly back to district and tell constituents it's those damn Democrats' fault that we're not getting anything done in here.
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