TX Sen. Eddie Lucio Files Bill Requiring Texas Men To Take Three-Hour Masturbation Course Before Sex

[meow2u3]

Senator Eddie Lucio announced today that he's filing a bill that will require all male Texans to complete a required 3-hour webinar on masturbation techniques before every instance of consensual intercourse in Texas.

The bill -- which is only directed at men, causing some activists to question why no webinar is required for women, should any of them ever be involved in the act of sexual intercourse -- is viewed as the latest effort to create unnecessary barriers between men and their reproductive decisions.

Men's rights advocates argued that men are already well aware of the option of masturbation before they choose to seek a partner, and that this paternalistic legislation is just intended for Lucio to demonstrate that he knows best what men should do with their bodies.

Lucio explained the rationale for his bill in an interview:

Lucio says that his online masturbation class proposal is merely designed to help men make more informed decisions.

"We're not trying to hurt the potential father, we're trying to help the unejaculated be ejaculated," he told the Austin American-Statesman newspaper.

But unplanned ejaculation advocates do not believe the classes would help anyone.

"What I don't like about it is it seems punitive," said Ron Johnson, executive director of the Austin-based nonprofit Ejaculation Alternatives Inc. "It's another hoop for men to jump through when they face an unplanned sexual encounter."

http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/13892/sen-eddie-lucio-files-bill-requiring-texas-men-to-take-threehour-masturbation-course-before-sex

[KansDem]

1. Included in the 3-hour webinar...

...will be 2 hours and 55 minutes of excerpts from:

"Deep Throat" (1972)
"New Wave Hookers" (1985)
"The Devil in Miss Jones" (1973)
"Naked Afternoon" (1976)
"Three Daughters" (1986)
"The Opening of Misty Beethoven" (1976)
"Debbie Does Dallas" (1978)
"Flesh Gordon" (1974)
"The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann" (1974)

[FiveGoodMen]

11. That's old-school!

[KansDem]

14. Well, you've got to hand it to us...

We knew what to do without a 3-hour webinar!

[muriel_volestrangler]

15. Please don't mention hands in this thread ... (nt)

[KansDem]

18. Sorry. Did it rub you the wrong way?

[FSogol]

2. "I have to go. I'm teaching a course in masturbation and if I'm late, they'll start without me."

- Woody Allen

[mockmonkey]

3. Can you take the a shorter version for...

having, as a fetus, masturbated in the womb?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/michael-burgess-fetal-masturbation_n_3466651.html

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. "we're trying to help the unejaculated be ejaculated"

I don't even know what he means by that....

[JRLeft]

5. LMFAO!

[Enrique]

6. will there be an app?

[Coyotl]

10. will the app need batteries?

[Rex]

7. What the fuck is this shit!? THIS is what they waste taxpayer money on!?

My state is full of fuckwads.

[jmowreader]

8. This shit is an Onion-style article

It's in response to a very real bill coursing through your Lege requiring women to take a three-hour adoption class before having an abortion.

[Rex]

9. I was wondering if this was an onion sytle article.

My state is soooo fucked up, that is why I believed it. Ya I've read about the Legs work to make women feel guilty about having an abortion...I have a friend currently in this situation right now and I feel for her and what she is about to go through if this bill passes.

[felix_numinous]

12. Ha Ha I fell for it.

LOL farce and reality are too close these days!!!

[Socal31]

13. What a waste of taxpayer money.

Any man here can attest to the fact that we all went through MULTIPLE masturbation..err..."courses"..before a partner even thought about letting us crawl on top of them. (Yes, I am a romantic )

In fact, I would say most men were downright experts in the field by the time they hit 14.

[pinboy3niner]

16. And "Ron Johnson" is a good name for that director

[pinboy3niner]

17. Three hours? Many could ace it in two minutes. Just ask their wives.