If you have a weak heart, don't read what Pierce does to the Hillary biopic, you may die laughing
AUG 9, 2013
Don't Call Us
By Charles P. Pierce at 11:45am
Dear god in heaven, somebody get the net.
The dramatic template they'll use is the life of Eleanor Roosevelt: Ugly duckling suffers much, finds her voice, leads. By the end she has become a thing of beauty, a real presence in the national life, a voice for the forgotten.
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She is an awkward teenager, can't seem to get right what the other girls get so easily-the right headband, how to flirt. Scene: suburban basement party, 1963. The other girls dance to the Shirelles. Hillary, in a sad little flowered cotton dress, sits on a folding chair to the side. Next to her is a shy boy with a shirt-pocket pen protector. They silently watch, then talk about homework.
And that shy boy grew up to be...BILL GATES! Suck it, loserz! Meanwhile, upstairs, in the Master bedroom, another blonde girl, much less shy, fondles a cordovan she's lifted from her father's closet, and sighs.
She leaves home, goes to Wellesley, begins to study politics more seriously. Reading great texts, taking notes. Scene: Hillary in flared jeans, book in hand, running breathlessly down a dormitory corridor. She comes upon another student. "Listen to this, listen," she says. "The working poor, especially those who are members of minority groups, are discriminated during the mortgage loan process at banks-especially women, who can't even get a loan unless a man co-signs for it." The other student, a blank beauty, toothbrush in mouth, towel on freshly shampooed hair, stares at her, blankly. "Um, wow," she says. Hillary insists, "We've got to do something about it!" and marches on. Another student pokes her head from a room, makes eye contact with towel girl, and they start to laugh. Rodham comes on a little strong. Wellesley abandoned its student-exchange program with Neptune several years ago. However, Towel Girl is now the Dean Of Students.
Moment of triumph: senior class address on graduation day. Hillary challenges the establishment, the entrenched powers. "We need more ecstatic modes of being." It doesn't make complete sense, but it's the '60s and nothing has to. In the audience, a mortified U.S. senator who'd come to speak at commencement. Hillary sees him squirm. We see on her face this thought: This thing I'm part of has power. The young have more power than we know.
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Marriage. Elections. First lady of Arkansas. Awkward. What is the line between feminist seriousness and movement priggishness? Where is the line between getting power and staying human? She wants to be serious and she wants, as always, to fit in. Intermittent mascara use. Comic scene: Virginia gives her makeup lessons. Hillary walks out looking like a whore. But she's learned something from their recently begun conversations: it's a mistake to think you have nothing to learn from the Virginia Kelleys of the world. They know things they don't teach in the Ivy League.
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Amazing finish!
http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/La_Noonan's_Pitch_Meeting
http://blogs.wsj.com/peggynoonan/2013/08/07/hillary-the-docudrama/
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