Reason number 9,625,367 why I love The Onion

[2ndAmForComputers]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/insecure-frustrated-bully-with-something-to-prove,33427

[font size="+1"]Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement[/font]



RALEIGH, NC—Calling it his lifelong dream, local man Brendan Lockhart, an insecure and perpetually frustrated bully who believes he has something to prove to the world, told reporters Thursday that he is seriously considering a career in law enforcement.

Lockhart, a recent high-school graduate who sources confirmed is plagued by resentment, self-doubt, unexpected fits of rage, and has always had a penchant for tormenting those who are smaller and weaker than him, explained that he feels he is well suited to serve as a police officer.

“I’ve always wanted to be a cop,” said Lockhart, whose paranoia and inferiority complex constantly haunt him, leading him to lash out at others in order to convince them he is in control. “I know it’s a tough line of work, but I think I’ve got what it takes to earn my shield and get out there and keep the peace.”

“This is the job I was born to do,” continued the man whose main goal in life is to prove to others that he is strong, confident, and not afraid. (more at link)

[Link Speed]

1. Most of the cops I am familiar with were the type of guys who nobody from high school remembers

I also know some really cool ones, but they are generally Community Outreach types.

[Boom Sound 416]

2. I don't get it. Where is the Onion story?

[Hydra]

3. lol

Well played, sir...

[truebluegreen]

4. Ouch.