Insecure, Frustrated Bully With Something To Prove Considering Career In Law Enforcement

[madinmaryland]

RALEIGH, NC—Calling it his lifelong dream, local man Brendan Lockhart, an insecure and perpetually frustrated bully who believes he has something to prove to the world, told reporters Thursday that he is seriously considering a career in law enforcement.

Lockhart, a recent high-school graduate who sources confirmed is plagued by resentment, self-doubt, unexpected fits of rage, and has always had a penchant for tormenting those who are smaller and weaker than him, explained that he feels he is well suited to serve as a police officer.

“I’ve always wanted to be a cop,” said Lockhart, whose paranoia and inferiority complex constantly haunt him, leading him to lash out at others in order to convince them he is in control. “I know it’s a tough line of work, but I think I’ve got what it takes to earn my shield and get out there and keep the peace.”

“This is the job I was born to do,” continued the man whose main goal in life is to prove to others that he is strong, confident, and not afraid.

Read more at: http://www.theonion.com/articles/insecure-frustrated-bully-with-something-to-prove,33427/

[Mojo Electro]

1. This is one of those times

where the Onion can tell the truth better than any other outlet.

[AZ Progressive]

2. I'm a firm believer that different professions are magnets to different types of people

And the lower intelligence bullies gravitate toward law enforcement.

[HeiressofBickworth]

6. I only agree in part

Some may be idealistic, thinking they truly could do some good for the community. However, those who go into law enforcement with such lofty intentions must quickly be disillusioned with the system. I knew a guy like that. He quit when he and his wife were harassed when he refused to testify in behalf of another cop who did something illegal. He quit and never regretted it. Generally speaking, however, I agree that different professions attract certain types of people. Someone who hates math, for example, would never decided to become a Certified Public Accountant.

[joeybee12]

3. Ouch!

So truthful it hurts! knr

[pintobean]

4. I can think of a few people

who apparently made the wrong career choice.


Someone at The Onion must have gotten a ticket.

[Arctic Dave]

5. Giggle.

That's all I have to say.

[nobodyspecial]

7. And they have psych evals to weed these people out

Why do you think Zimmerman never made it? Is it foolproof? No. But it's not like they hand every asshole a gun and a badge.