I'm grateful this morning.

[Solly Mack]

I grew up in an extended family that was "mixed" in many ways. We were different from most of the families around me.

We came in many skin hues, hair color, and eye color. Some of us took after the Irish side. Some after the Native American side. Some were a mixture. We didn't think to question who we loved and married people from all over the world, creating even more diversity within the family. Within my own branch we are a mixture of black, white, and native.

We also came in many sexual flavors. So being gay or lesbian wasn't a big deal or some sort of oddity. I knew quite early that some people were born intersexed and that some people were born seemingly one gender but were actually the other. And that some were happy living between both genders.

Because of the diversity within my own family, I was exposed to all sorts of wonderful people who introduced me to more wonderful people and my world was large.

Which isn't to say there wasn't conflict from time to time but we always seemed to manage to learn and then to accept.

You have to want to learn or acceptance won't come.


My childhood wasn't perfect. Far from it. Still, I'm grateful this morning.

[leftstreet]

1. DURec

'You have to want to learn or acceptance won't come'

Yep

[Solly Mack]

8. Thanks.

I think it's true.

[one_voice]

2. K&R

Sounds very much like my family.

All different colors, sexual flavors, different religious beliefs, and so on. My mom used to call our family God's flower garden.

Though it was difficult at times growing up, I'm grateful because I grew up never judging anyone and always accepting people for who they are.

All the kids born into my family are learning the same thing. We can be a rambunctious bunch, believe me we gave my parents a lot of grey hair and a few trips to the police station. We stand hard for things we believe in and we fight even harder against bigotry (any kind), bullying etc.

Like you I'm grateful for my crazy mixed up family. We are like skittles a rainbow of flavors.

[Solly Mack]

10. I wouldn't trade my childhood at all.

And parts of it were ugly. But even those times taught me something about sympathy and empathy for others.

[clarice]

3. That's the great thing about life. Living and learning. nt

[Solly Mack]

11. Yep!

[hamsterjill]

4. I was the complete opposite growing up, but I'm still grateful because I learned and accepted!

I grew up in a typical Texas redneck family. Constant homophobia and prejudice voiced at the dinner table, and it was simply expected and no one questioned.

But then I moved away, and was exposed to a different world. And I realized how very wrong all of those judgments had been. I'm female, but I also met and became good friends with two gentlemen who were gay.

I learned so much from them, and my mindset changed. *I* am a better person for having wanted to learn and accept...and for that, I am grateful.

[Solly Mack]

12. That's wonderful!

[Rebellious Republican]

5. Great post Solly!

I stand here with you! Fuck anybody that wants to come to this post and disrupt!

[Solly Mack]

13. Not too worried about people disrupting.

Thanks.

[JustAnotherGen]

6. I did not grow up

With any GLBT folks in my family - but we are very racial, etchnic, and religious diverse group.

And I am grateful for the "Are you adopted" question from people asking if . .. my mom was my mom.

It gives me great empathy in just accepting as is -without question - the sexuality of other human beings.

This was beautifully written!

[Solly Mack]

7. I remember my Mom being asked if she was our nanny.

Because she was darker than any of her children. We were all tow-heads as young children.

Now Mom would call us her "white kids" but she was proud of her darker skin and we all thought it was funny. It was inside family humor. And I was certainly jealous of getting the eyes, cheekbones and mouth of my mother but not her skin hue. I wanted it all. I tan...but she was tanned. Naturally.

However, being asked by white strangers if she was our mother hurt her. Because they meant it. They were completely put-off by a woman with dark skin having 4 little white kids and they just had to ask...because it mattered to them.

[JustAnotherGen]

16. This was meant for you

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=3521029

[JustAnotherGen]

15. First my dad

I was so fair as a toddler - then my mom - with her green eyes and strawberry blonde hair. It did bother her - because she lost her mom when she was in her early 30's. Her 'joy' in that loss is that I am a bit tanner than my grandmother (she was French and Irish but had the olive skin of southern France) - but I am the spitting image of her mom. Even as a little kid I had her mother's mannerisms.

That bothered her more than anything. . . knowing I was her mother's mini me and people couldn't see it.

[Solly Mack]

19. Besides the fact she was my mom and I loved her, that was one of the reasons I hated her dying

- people couldn't see where I came from. Photos just don't tell the story. Not really.

[marmar]

9. k/r........C'est belle.

[Solly Mack]

20. Thanks, marmar.

[calimary]

14. Maybe your childhood wasn't "perfect," but, seems to me it prepared you wonderfully

for the world outside. You weren't insulated or homogeneous. You weren't a one-note. My family was all Anglo. But they taught me a few things about being broad-minded. My father was horrified by the very thought of the "n-word," and reacted accordingly. He hired people he thought were good at their jobs, and quite a few of them weren't Anglo. Toward the end of his life, his closest and most trusted friends were Latinos - whose kids played with my kids and had great times! As I grew, the religious realm was where I found myself personally experiencing change and evolution and progress - feeling comfortable watching and being part of the change from single-note in school - Catholic school. I started in a 100% Catholic student body. There eventually was one girl who was Greek Orthodox. By the time my kids were in Catholic school, Catholics were not the biggest subgroup - they were a distinct minority. Only one third of our daughter's 2nd grade class made their First communion. Everybody else was of a different religion, and participated fully.

And it was a NEAT evolution to see! My mom used to talk about how she'd learned in Catholic school that all her non-Catholic friends were going to Limbo or some such place after they died because they weren't Catholic and thus couldn't be admitted into "Heaven." And she said she always felt terrible about that. By the time our kids were in Catholic school, NOBODY taught any such ridiculous thing anymore.

We evolve! YOU were born to it. Your story is literally an inspiration! Many of the rest of us came to it, or it came to us. Whichever the circumstances, it was all about open minds and acceptance, and live-and-let-live. Reminds me of Anita Bryant - who, during the 70s was a raging homophobe, and used her high-profile celebrity status as a singer/actress/entertainer, former Miss America contestant (back when the Miss America thing was still a big deal), and Florida Orange Juice pitchwoman as a platform to condemn gays and the gay lifestyle and advocate against it. She was a devout Christian extremist who became a symbol of intolerance and persecution to the gay community. Almost like a female rush limbaugh because she had such a large public platform and she didn't hesitate to use it. The knuckle-draggers of those times applauded her. But it also aroused enough indignation elsewhere among the public to start boycotts and protests and activism. She got knocked around by life pretty seriously, and it cost her dearly to be so strident. The bad press and publicity soon grew to overwhelming. Eventually it cost her that big Florida Orange Juice endorsement deal, bookings with Bob Hope's USO tours, and other major prime time variety shows and so forth, of the day, and her marriage went belly-up. And years later, it compelled a change of heart. The last thing I remember her quoted as saying, as she stumbled into a growing obscurity on the sidelines was how she'd finally come to realize it's far better, easier, and more sensible just "to live and let live."

We evolve. Well, many of us can, and many do.

And remember, NOBODY'S childhood, no matter how rich, insulated, comfortable, or purportedly stable and secure, is completely "perfect."

[Solly Mack]

18. Oh, I remember Bryant and her crusade.

Thanks, calimary. Your parents sound wonderful!

[DeSwiss]

17. K&R

- Me too, Solly.

[Solly Mack]

21. Thanks, DeSwiss :)

Note sure what I would do with a pure mind though.

[myrna minx]

22. Wonderful post, Solly.

K&R.

[Solly Mack]

23. Hi, myrna!

Thanks!