If we do attack Syria, 10 things I think that prove it'll be awesome.
1. Our news networks. They will all have a collective orgasm. The floor of the newsrooms will be so sticky a tractor will not be able to pull Wolf Blitzer off of the giafriggenourmous battle map floor. We will have 24/7 news starting out with reporters on giant, floating, killing machines in the Mediterranean just itching for that first launch so they can get that ever-so-coveted tight shot as the missile leaves the tube to the wider sunset shot as it makes its way off to some foreign country to lay down some rather indiscriminate death upon a "military" target.
2. MIC... $$$... nuff said.
3. Our American fighting men and women. About 4,000 or so should come home in a beautifully flag-draped box. Another 25,000 or so, should come home with a purple heart, sans a limb or two and some post traumatic stress mixed in for good measure. But that's the price of freedom right? Don't forget, when they get home, we should ignore them. They like that. They are built tough and should not get the medical care or counseling that they will so desperately need. They will have done their job, and their country will be completely done with them. But when you see them out and about, make sure to thank them for their service. That makes it all better.
4. Contract armed forces... Hell yeah! Sure they get to raping and indiscriminately killing folks from time to time. But they can't hear the screams over how awesome they are.
5. Gas prices shall soar to new heights. This will be so cool for the Exxon/PB/Shell/etc companies. Not only will they make record profits again... They will still get to pull in their subsidies.
6. $1.4 million for a top of the line cruse missile. But don't forget that the GPS or guidance software was written by the lowest bidder. So if one or two or fifty are slightly off and land in a neighborhood or plow through a hospital, you can comfort yourself knowing that they saved taxpayers about $3 by getting the cheaper parts. Now that's what's important.
7. Civilians... Look at it this way. We all die. Right? So we will have a hundred thousand or so folks who will personally spare growing old and having to deal with arthritis, or needing reading glasses and stuff. Consider it a favor.
8. We are all too dependent on all of the luxuries in life. Like running water, food, electricity, or even sanitation. So after one or two missiles miss and take out a power plant or water system, those folks will be getting back to our roots as human beings. We don't want to get in there too quickly to deliver water and food. That stuff is expensive. Let these folks take care of themselves. They will thank us for it later.
9. New places and new sights. There will be ten of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of folks who will be looking to get the heck out of Dodge. Let me tell you. You have not lived until you and your family, have had a good holiday at a border refugee camp. Sure folks get to raping and murdering on the rare occasion at these camps. But that's the price you pay to stay in a five-star canvas tent with all of your worldly possessions stacked in a corner.
10. Yellow Ribbon car magnets and 'Murican Flags... All made in the good 'ole U.S.China. Buy stock in these companies now... You'll be glad you did!
I can't wait!!! Why haven't we started yet?
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What evidence makes you so certain?
-Laelth
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I think I know how it ends.
I mean... who wouldn't?
PB
and then the Syrian government will continue to love us.
We shouldn't have bothered with those nukes, we could have just surrendered to Japan or maybe withdrawing from the Pacific would have been enough. If we'd really been smart, we could have surrendered before Pearl Harbor. That was that war mongering FDR's fault. 
I was too 
although admin changes through the years seem to have revised the rank to Senior Airman 
