PSA: Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson LLP, your attorneys are assholes

[magical thyme]

I don't care that you count the family of a Supreme Court Justice among your clients. Your attorneys are fucking assholes.

When YOU call another company to ask about the status of one of your client's accounts, it is incumbent upon YOU to know which client account you are calling about.

We are not mind readers. You called us, not the other way around. When I ask a security question on the account YOU told me YOU are calling about, it is not appropriate to screech at me, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNT YOU WANT THE SSN ON?!?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME WHICH ACCOUNT YOU WANT THAT INFORMATION ON?!?!"

Seriously, are your attorneys really that stupid and/or narcissistic that they expect to call another company about a specific client and when the other company asks a standard security question, you expect us to tell you whose SSN we are asking for?!?! Your attorneys are so stupid that they don't know which account they just finished asking about the status?!?

Or does it make you feel like BIG BAD ATTORNEYS to scream at a CSR who makes all of $13/hour to wait on you hand and foot because I asked you the information I need to access the account of the client YOU CALLED about?

Or did you think it would get you your answer faster? Because here's a clue. It didn't. Even though the answer was ultimately staring me in the face, you stressed me out so much with your incessant screeching demands that I had to put you on hold and go get help. And if it hadn't stressed me out, I still would have put you on hold and made you wait, just for being fucking assholes and treating me like a turd you accidentally stepped in.

And after the call (which btw, thanks to your screeching I screwed up security and if that's caught it will be an auto-1, which is an auto-fail and will hurt me big-time, not that it matters because there aren't going to be any raises anyway) I had to get off the phones for a good 10 minutes to calm down again, so you not only screwed up security you also screwed up my schedule. Fuck. You.

[elleng]

1. Sounds like a newbie,

summer intern or first year hire, or paralegal.

Sorry, magical. Breathe.

[magical thyme]

3. the initial caller was the newbie. his boss, the screecher, was not.

they don't have newbies handling the accounts of Supreme Court Justices. Seeing the signature on the paperwork just added to the stress.

And thank you, I'm fine. It was a couple days ago, but I wanted to get it off my chest for good.

[Vinnie From Indy]

2. Next time, just make shit up!

Works for me!

Sorry about your troubles!

Cheers!

[elleng]

4. Oh, my COUSIN Vinnie!!!

[Vinnie From Indy]

5. Cheers!