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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTHANK YOU, TYRONE
I was born in Washington, DC in 1950. My mother was ill and wanted to move back home to be near her family. She had two children, and a heart condition threatened her life. My father, a young man who had done the unthinkable to try to make a living for his family, had relocated from Tennessee to Washington, DC and had obtained a job working for the IRS. But he listened to his wifes concerns and agreed to move the family back to Tennessee. There he make his living driving a milk truck.
They were a remarkable couple. She was a beautiful woman with auburn hair, beautiful green eyes, very petite and with an Irish ancestry. My father was six foot 3 inches tall, and the Cherokee blood in his genes perhaps five generations preceding his birth were very evident. He had hair so dark brown many called it black, large brown eyes that also looked black and very dark skin. They both loved music, and enjoyed playing the piano and singing together. They adored each other.
My mother passed away a few years after she had moved back home. Despite her condition, she had become pregnant twice again, and left my 28 year-old father alone to raise four young children ranging in age from 9 months to seven years of age. In order to keep the family together, we subsequently all moved in with my grandparents. My father made too little money to pay anyone to take care of his children while he worked his route as a milk man. Living with his parents was the only way he could find to keep his family together.
All of this is to explain how and why by the time I was around 8 years old, I believed African-Americans hated white people and would kill us if the opportunity arose, all Jewish people didnt believe Jesus Christ was the son of God and were destined to go to hell upon their passing, and Catholics and Baptists held each other in utter contempt. This type of information was in the conversations of older people who were my grandmothers friends.
Upon my fathers remarriage, again he did the unthinkable, moved from a very red, conservative state to the heart of the Nations capital. When I was enrolled in the nearby school in DC, upon observing I was the only Caucasian child in that school, I became literally chronically petrified someone there would kill me if given the opportunity.
Why in the world had my father moved me to a city among all the people I had been taught (not by him but through hearing the conversations of my grandmothers friends) would try to hurt me or even kill me?
My first day as I was walking toward my classroom, a smiling, handsome young African-American boy started walking toward me. I froze in fear. What was he going to do? He stopped right in front of me and smiled even more broadly. Can I carry your books, he asked? Quietly, I handed him my books and as I continued to walk towards my classroom, he walked by my side, smiling all the while, and waving at his friends we passed along the way. Once we arrived at the classroom doorway, he handed me the books, smiled and said goodbye.
Everyday I went to school, Tyrone waited for me, carried my books, and said very nice things to me. He had never met a girl with white skin and reddish hair, and that was what made him walk my way to begin with.
Tyrone was very popular in the elementary school, so easy-going and always smiling. After he befriended me, some of the girls invited me at recess to jump double-dutch jump rope. But I dont know how, I said. We will show you. Soon, I was loving the art of double-dutch and the sweet girls who also befriended me. If I was okay with Tyrone, I was okay with them. And so all of my fears and the things I had learned as a youngster growing up in a very conservative state melted away.
My family moved to another location in the Washington, D.C. area at the end of the school year, and thus I had to leave my newly-found friends. I have never though forgotten Tyrone and the friendship he gave me when I first entered school here in the East.
So many times since I have been at DU, I have thought when reading threads about prejudice of whites against blacks, I felt ashamed that I had been one to harbor these prejudices as a young child. I always thought one day I would write a thread to talk about it and what influences changed me as a young person. Today is that day.
I do realize though that there are many young children like the one I used to be who are raised in environments where they are taught many untruths. Some will be fortunate enough to broaden their horizons and open their eyes to the equality of all men and women, regardless of skin color, regardless of nationality, regardless of sexual preferences, regardless of religious beliefs -- but sadly many will not.
Approximately five years after I met Tyrone, I was walking through the living room of my parents house when I heard the voice of a man named Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. saying, I have a dream
." That speech mesmerized me. I listened in rapt attention.
Through that speech, I really understood what was going on in this Country. While it has always been acknowledged how much this man did for the advancement of African-American civil rights, I would like to personally acknowledge how much he also did for young people as I was then who had never fully and truly understood what had been going on between the different people of African-Americans and Caucasian communities in these United States for decades.
But I personally also feel so indebted to a young African-American boy who befriended me, a transplanted child from the south, and through that friendship made me belong. I have always had a special place in my heart for Tyrone for the life lessons he taught me not in words but in actions. So it seems very appropriate on this day to write this thread I have been meaning to write for so long now to say one thing.
Tyrone, I dont know where you are today, but I have never forgotten you and I never thanked you for being my friend. You taught me more than you will ever know. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Sam
kentuck
(110,947 posts)and sincere.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I always meant to write a thread thanking Tyrone, I have never forgotten him, and I have even wondered if perhaps he might read DU! Wouldn't that be something? Sometimes one just is lucky enough to meet another person who changes them for the better forever. I was fortunate enough to be one of those people -- because I met Tyrone.
Sam
kentuck
(110,947 posts)Thanks again!
Cha
(295,899 posts)mahalo
Samantha
(9,314 posts)Straight from my heart. I only regret I took so long to say it. it is amazing how meeting one person can transform a person's everyday life.
Sam
Cha
(295,899 posts)of MLK's 50th "I Have a Dream" speech and those in Washington D.C. and all over, celebrating it.
Your OP really moved me to tears. We all think about our own lives when we read someone else's history such as yours. Very Eloquent, Sam.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)Last edited Sat Aug 31, 2013, 01:10 AM - Edit history (1)
I am just so happy my father had the courage to pick up his family and move here to the East. I shudder to think what kind of person I might be today had he not done that remarkable thing. Most young men from a place like Tennessee in those days would rather die before relocating to Yankee Country.
My life changed dramatically once I finished my education and joined the orthodox working world. I found myself in places working for people who were very impressive. And in that journey, I received even more "education" about the real world. Some of the people I worked for or around were extremely intelligent and very successful. One of those people, someone I worked directly for, received an appointment by President Obama as one of his attorneys and subsequently became an ambassador. I could write a book about some of my Washington experiences.
It is amazing to me to think of the opportunities I have had because my father had the courage to pick up and leave Tennessee so that he and his family could have a real opportunity to have a middle-class life. He was more than a little successful in his endeavors, and the whole family benefited from that decision in so many ways.
Yes, Cha, today is a great day to do historical reviews all the way around. We see where we were 50 years ago and ask where will be as a nation be 50 years from now? There are some days one wonders where we will be tomorrow! There is a lot of work to be done.
Sam
Cha
(295,899 posts)Samantha
(9,314 posts)and would love to do it. I keep outlining chapters in my head, and I have a great title. My problem is I just get involved in too many things. But maybe one day....
Thanks for posting on my thread.
Sam
kelliekat44
(7,759 posts)Samantha
(9,314 posts)I am happy you enjoyed reading it.
Sam
Mr.Bill
(24,103 posts)I am from the same era, and grew up near you (Baltimore). The prejudices we had were a product of our environment. They did not come from within us. In 1961 I moved to California and was immersed in racially and culturally diverse neighborhoods and schools. Like when you met Tyrone, my prejudices left me quickly as I was exposed to this diversity. I also remember MLK's speech in 1963, and it changed me, too.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)But I have felt terribly ashamed when thinking what I used to believe as a child. This thread to me was like making a confession. I have always heard confessions are good for the soul! But after that speech, I evolved even more quickly. Three years later, I was caught in a controversy in school over a book report I had written. Title of the book: The Ugly American. I won't go into that controversy tonight, but I will tell you this. I kept that book report all of these years.
On the other hand, I have gotten a lot of insight from my relatives as to why certain things do happen there. I remember being at a family reunion and saying to my aunt, "I cannot understand why Tennessee keeps voting Republican and electing people who do not fight for the best interests of its people." Tennessee is such a poor state. She responded she didn't know anything about the issues but that her husband insisted she always vote Republican and she just did as she was told. I wonder how many women in the South do this. I was shocked to hear that.
On the other hand, this week we heard two women say the reason Republicans get votes in the South is because the churches have been infected with politics. If you vote for a Democrat, some preachers tell their congregations, you will go to hell. It is so hard for me to believe people in the South allow their ministers to influence their political choices, but for some reason they do. One would think they would know better by now.
Sam
Mr.Bill
(24,103 posts)we were told that voting for Richard Nixon would be a mortal sin, because Kennedy was going to be the first Catholic president. A kid came to school wearing a Nixon button, and they sent him home. We were told Nixon was going to make us go to school all summer if he was elected.
What amazes me id how things have turned 180 as far as churches controlling politics. In the 60s, Democrats were the candidates supported by the churches. Now it's the Republicans.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I read that it was Karl Rove's plan to incorporate politics into the churches in the south, using wedge issues such as the abortion controversy, as a way of siphoning votes from Dems to the Republicans. Just as you were told voting for Richard Nixon would be a mortal sin in your Catholic school, naive religious voters in the South have been sucked into thinking that a vote for the Democrats would be a sin against God. It is outrageous really that pastors and other church officials have not been called out on this publicly but it has been allowed to continue. One would think people would eventually wake up to what is going on when these people they vote for continually vote against their best interests but I imagine they are simply blinded by their religious views.
Many Democrats in the South defected to the Republican party following the Voting Rights Act of 1965. It was their prejudice that motivated them to align with the Republicans, who to this day continue to openly legislate against minority voters. Who can understand it, really?
Sam
tblue
(16,350 posts)Maybe you can find him. I had someone apologize to me on Facebook for something he said so many years ago. I was flabbergasted that he was thinking about it all these years. Just saying, you might be able find Tyrone if you'd like to. I'm sure he remembers you too. Hugs!
Samantha
(9,314 posts)Can you believe that? I don't think he knew my last name either. I do not remember in those days it being that important when we were young kids to relay our last names so much to each other. Only the first name counted, really!!! But I made that silly remark that perhaps he might be a member of DU; now that I really think about it, he is about my age, if he still lives in DC odds are he is a Democrat, so maybe .... maybe.
I think he would remember me too because I don't think he had met many Caucasian girls, if any, before I entered the school.
Sam
Lars39
(26,093 posts)Samantha
(9,314 posts)I do not remember the teacher's name. That school name is currently being used in PG County and a couple of other places, but that is not the school I attended. I don't know if they would have moved the records there or not. The idea of a class picture is a good one, but I don't even remember them taking one that year. I have all my class pictures and yearbooks; but the first elementary class picture I have is the fifth grade.
I do not expect to ever meet up with Tyrone again, but I know I will never forget him and the influence his friendship had on me.
Sam
tblue
(16,350 posts)Haha!
Do you know anybody else who was there at your school? Maybe they know his last name.
If you're meant to find him, you will.
I just love your story! You could write it up as an article and submit it to a magazine. Who knows? Maybe Tyrone will come across it.
madokie
(51,076 posts)So happy to read this, thank you
Samantha
(9,314 posts)for posting on my thread, but most of all for liking it.
Sam
madokie
(51,076 posts)I didn't just like it I loved it. You painted such a wonderful picture. Thank you for sharing that with us.
OneGrassRoot
(22,917 posts)That was beautiful, Samantha.
I love Tyrone now as well. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to find him?!
Thank you for sharing. Just beautiful.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)and posting it here is the comments like yours. I don't know what else to say except I am really touched by your words. I remember I wrote this late one night, edited it, and right before I posted it I wondered if someone would find anything in it truly objectionable. Specifically, I worried about the words I posted pinpointing the things I used to think when I was a child. So I prepared myself for the fact that I would get some stinging backlash, but it has just been the opposite. People totally understand how a very young person can absorb what adults around them are saying and doing and believe this must be the way things are. So even in writing it, it reinforced to me the fact I too need to look at children around me and start being a better example, at least being more vocal about it, to teach them we are all one people who should love each other and treat each other with dignity. And that's the bottom line.
Thank you so much for your post.
Yes, it would be wonderful to find him.
Sam
cali
(114,904 posts)Samantha
(9,314 posts)I am so glad you liked it.
Sam
life long demo
(1,113 posts)Reading it this morning really perked up my day. Thank you for sharing with us. I will remember it for a very long time.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)Last edited Sat Aug 31, 2013, 01:16 AM - Edit history (1)
and for posting on my thread. It was so therapeutic for me to put this thread together and post it here. After reading some comments like yours, I feel so clean now. And it fills me with joy to know I have made someone happy by writing something they enjoyed reading.
Thank you again, life long demo.
Sam
Spazito
(49,733 posts)Thank you for posting this, reading your OP made my morning and evoked warm memories of people I met who had a life-changing effect on me.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I am so glad you enjoyed reading my thread. Thank you for posting.
Sam
Billy Love
(117 posts)His mom of African-American descent and his father a white Jewish man. Cory and I have been friends for 30 years even though we have drifted apart. I try to make a visit once a year to his family with my family - he doesn't live far, and I really don't have time anymore to spend with friends. We met when I was only 7 years old, Cory being a year and three days younger than me, but he is a genius so he was able to stay with my class.
He was as white as you could see, but his younger half-brother is African American. I loved the family and cherish them. Many of my religion would not associate themselves with African-American people, but I learned to respect their culture, their lives, their food, and everything. He was there for my engagement party, but did not come to my wedding in New York even though he was invited.
I think about Cory constantly, but he is now a hermit, living at home. I am going to try to pull him out soon by offering him a opportunity to work with me (I need a manager for a store I'm about to open up, and I think he'll be a fine fit) and we can spend time together again.
I really miss him, and other than my other best friend ( my wife ) - he's the only one other person I really want to spend time with. I don't know much about him and what he has done since college (we went to college together after high school).
I don't know why I'm telling you this, but when I read your story, it brought back memories of my best friend Cory.
Thank you, Samantha. I just hope you find your Tyrone someday.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)Someone else mentioned this thread made them think back to relationships which had greatly influenced their lives. So if my story has caused some people to take a moment out and remember strong relationships from their past, I think that is a very good thing. If you miss your best friend Cory, go and find him as soon as you can, and good luck.
Thanks for posting on my thread. I hope to see more of your posts here on DU. Welcome!
Sam
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I was reading thru this thread again to see if I had overlooked any comments, and I found myself re-reading your post twice. It is that line you inserted about your friend having become a hermit. There are many things that cause people to withdraw, things such as depression, health issues, marital problems, money problems, the loss of a job....
Perhaps you have him on your mind because it happens sometimes one will start repeatedly thinking of a friend or relative they haven't touched base with for some time, and that thought keep reverberating back.
Perhaps there is a reason this happening now. Perhaps he needs his old friend. I hope you do contact him as soon as you can to make sure he is okay.
Sam
3catwoman3
(23,812 posts)...says the song from The King and I.
How fortunate that your father was able to get you out of that brainwashing atmosphere you were experiencing as a child.
Our family had a very opposite experience. When our sons, nor 23 and 20, were merely 4 and 1, we moved from the Washington DC area (actually Upper Marlboro in Prince George's county) to the far northwest suburbs of the greater Chicago area. It was immediately and strikingly obvious that racial and ethnic diversity had not yet arrived in our new environs. I came to think of it as 'embarrassingly Caucasian." Everybodyy looked like us. People barely moved 10 miles from their parents' home, let alone halfway across the counrty, as we had. I worried that our kids would grow up with a skewed view of what the real world was like.
Even though they were very young, we talked a lot about how it would feel if someone made decisions about you based on the color of your skin, the sound of your name, the way you dressed, or the way you pronounced English.
A few month after we moved to our neighborhood, a black family purchased one of the few remaining houses in our development. We went to introduce ourseoves, and it turned out the family had 2 little girls exactly the same ages as my sons. As little kids often do, they were best buddies immediately.
One day, my older son asked the older daughter of our neighbors a question about something (can't remember what). She didn't have an answer. The 8 yr old boy next to our neighbors' was out on his driveway - as blond and blue-eyed as can be. My older son gestured toward him and said. "I'll ask her brother. I bet he knows."
It was such a touchingly innocent moment that my eyes teared up. I thought, "Bless your color-blind little 4 year old heart that it does not occur to you that this is probaby not her brother."
If only all young minds could have the chance to grow up withou being warped by the various hatred that afflict their elders.
I hope Tyrone somehow, someday, is able to read your words.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)This reminds me of another incident I experienced later in life. I married and a couple of years after the wedding, my former husband insisted we move from DC to the area where he grew up. He wanted his child, my 4 year old daughter, to experience the freedom of growing up in a rural area as opposed to a huge metropolitan area like DC, where children are often harmed by crime.
We moved to a small town in West Virginia. The day we actually moved, as we followed the moving van down the road I asked where were the African-Americans, I had not seen anyone but Caucasian people. He said the few in the area preferred to live together in an area about 10 miles from there. I knew what he was saying. This town was still segregated. I had no idea segregation continued to exist.
Eventually I found a job in a large town nearby and became best friends with one of the few African-American women who worked there. We continue to be great friends to this day. However, I hosted a party at my home at which parents and children were both welcome. One of my daughter's young friends whispered in her ear a message that my daughter was to convey to me. I felt her pull at the bottom of my dress and motion for me to lean down and listen. "Nicole's mom says they have to leave because you have a Black person in our house," my daughter said. Please keep in mind she was about 5 and was just repeating what she was told to say and had no sense of the implication. The Black person visiting my house was my new best friend and her daughter.
When I heard my daughter say this, I was horrified. I whispered back to her, "Well, I am sorry her mom feels that way but Vicki is my good friend and I am certainly not going to ask her to leave." A couple of minutes later Nicole and her mom left. When my daughter became older, I discussed this incident with her, and we covered prejudice in-depth.
It is amazing to me that people can still voluntarily harbor prejudice against people with different skin colors than their own; but it is wonderfully encouraging to know some like you have delivered children who have zero perception that people should be treated differently for skin color alone.
I too hope Tyrone finds my words, and I thank you for posting on my thread.
Sam
3catwoman3
(23,812 posts)...sorry about "just now" finding my post, as I only posted it a few hours ago. I thought I might be too late for you to see it at all. I was a few days post-op from a hip replacement when your touching thread began, and wasn't keeping up with things.
It is a puzzlement to me, as well, that people can dislike an entire "category" of fellow human beings based merely on appearance. There are certain individuals I dislike very strongly, for specific personal reasons, but I don't extrapolate.
I take no particular pride in my skin color, as I had nothing to do with it, but I have often been grateful for it. By mere chance, my soul happened to attach itself to a baby conceived by two white parents. In a country where that skin color is still more valued, certain doors were easily open to me that might not have been otherwise. Might I still be a pediatric nurse practitioner with a master's degree had I been born o a 14 yr old black girl living in a ghetto? Maybe. Would it have been a hell of a lot harder. Most certainly.