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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI thought this was interesting about stereotypes.
I'm a 50 old man and my mother uses a wheelchair or electric scooter. Today I had lunch with her and took her over to a shopping center with a boutique she likes to go to once in a while. She had her scooter so I sat out in the car and waited for her. When she was finished, she got in the car and I disassembled the scooter to put it in the trunk. While I was doing this I saw a big SUV pull up across the lot and it had the spare tire on the back of the rear hatch and the owner had scrawled on the tire cover in big bold letters "Benghazi was Murder!". He had a DAV (Disabled Army Veteran) license plate. This was in a pretty affluent area and I thought to myself--rich Republican Obama hater.
Well, maybe it was because I was looking in his direction reading his tire cover, but this guy offers to give me a hand lifting the scooter into the trunk. This particular scooter does not disassemble very much and the main body is very heavy and awkward because it is so long. I've wished someone would offer a hand plenty of times over the years. That is the point of the story, I must have dragged one scooter or another in or out of the car 2500 times or more over the past 20 years. This guy I pre-judged was the first stranger in all that time who offered a hand. I was thinking about that this evening and have resolved to try not to be so quick to judge. I realize he could still be a rich republican Obama hater but he is also the kind of man to offer a helping hand to a stranger. I didn't see that at first glance.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,014 posts)She is also faux news 24/7, a racist, homophobe, bigot - you name it. Whatever Rush, Hannity, et al tell her to believe - that's what she believes. And she is scared shitless...of pretty much everything.
But aside from that, a really nice, helpful neighbor. And she knows how completely opposite my beliefs/politics are.
It is a really confusing world.....
Thanks for sharing your story....
Skittles
(153,160 posts)he's still an asshole
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)Skittles
(153,160 posts)but the Obama-hating Benghazi guy is still a major asshole
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)the point of the OP is that leave politics to the side, he helped him. He did not expect that.
And I agree with the OP. Not because you vote Republican, or buy the propaganda, you are an asshole. It is not automatic. Just like if you are a Republican, just because you voted for Obama, and believe we should save Social Security you are an asshole.
It is attitudes like this that lead to hot civil wars if you give them enough time. I personally am not looking forwards to that. Perhaps you are.
Skittles
(153,160 posts)OMG
anyone screaming about Benghazi (you can BET that guy approved of Dubya's wars) is an asshole in my book and I am DONE here
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)Look up eliminationist language.
Both sides of the political divide do it and I am pretty damn tired of it, on both sides.
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)are not redeeming qualities in someone whose political or social views are hurting others or penalizing them unfairly. It can be recognized and appreciated but it doesn't redeem them, imho.
The OP is implying our standards for human decency might be sold out and our voices silenced because someone did us a personal favor.
I'm not suggesting it was a conscious suggestion but to that I must give a resounding "No."
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)But you go ahead in considering half of the US your eternal enemy. Don't worry, thirty percent or so on the "other side" consider your half their eternal enemy.
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)It would seem the person making unwarranted accusations of "murder" against other people is the person you're looking for.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)You will see similar language, directed at liberals.
And I m tired of it. This can, and at times does, lead to very dark places, including civil war
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)an inability, in some, to transcend political and social incompatibilities can sometimes lead to civil wars, violence and strife. Absolutely.
But sometimes that inability in people just means going your own way. Living your own life. It's important to see the good in all people and not to pre-judge negatively, as the OP noted - I certainly try not to become abrasive before anyone does with me - but some people, I think, should still have a right not to "extend a conciliatory hand" when they have indications that hand eventually may be bit further down the line. Some people have run the gauntlet when it comes to abuse from conservatives and I, personally, don't want to be the one to tell them they are wrong or leading us to civil war because they would rather avoid a conservative when they see one.
And they're not wrong for them and you are not wrong for you. Based on a person's past experiences, some people have the capacity to extend themselves and others do not. Where I think we go wrong is when we say, doing one or the other, is wrong.
GalaxyHunter
(271 posts)How would you feel if an Obama supporter looked at you struggling and decided to do nothing to help?
would you still feel they are a good person just because they voted for Obama?
Shankapotomus
(4,840 posts)If the conservative didn't help (even though I would rather keep my distance from most - not all - conservatives, if I could), I wouldn't necessarily hate the conservative if they didn't help me. Same goes for the Obama supporter. I would probably conclude they were late to go somewhere or didn't realize I needed assistance, etc...
The point is, I'm not making character judgements or interaction decisions based purely on minor personal favors or the lack thereof. I don't build entire narratives around people based on what minor politeness they did or failed to do for me. I'm sure Hitler (and, no, I'm not equating conservatives to nazis!) held many doors open for people. That doesn't mean I still wouldn't just rather avoid the guy. To paraphrase something Melodie Beattie once wrote about politeness in codependent relationships, doing favors is a given in civil society. It's not something special.
JI7
(89,249 posts)Behind the Aegis
(53,956 posts)You can guess why. BUT, she travelled around with big bags of dog and cat food in the car in case she ever came across a stray cat or dog.
Some people = and
Skittles
(153,160 posts)she could feed all the strays in town but she's still racist
Behind the Aegis
(53,956 posts)The point is everyone can have redeeming qualities of sorts, but some things, just really squash it. Hitler loved dogs too! (I know! I know! Godwin!)
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)does not automatically mean they are assholes.
Also if this is a rich republican, he is voting his interests, just saying.
Yup, I am that cynical.
One of my neighbors is an archetypical republican as far as voting and political views. He is a wonderful person otherwise.
He knows we are part of the liberal press corp, and was very impressed with the fair and neutral reporting we did during the Filner scandal. It is to the point he is actually thinking of supporting the paper. He would never ever, in his wildest dreams, give a donation to KPBS.
He said one day in the elevator, quite casually, "I wish FOX was that balanced" after we ran back to back the supporters and recall fans stories.
gvstn
(2,805 posts)That vote on one issue--taxes. As long as they keep even a single dollar more in their wallet they don't care about anyone else when it comes to their vote.
Unfortunately, they help justify this greed to themselves by memorizing and repeating the talking points about how lazy poor people are or how they are using the system to get "free" health care or abusing the nutritional assistance programs. On one had they are kind people to their family or friends but are outraged that someone is getting treated for a wound in an ER on "their" tax dollars.
What gets me is that most of these people and I admit they are mostly friends of my mother and retired, have the money they do because during their work years wages were better, pensions were better, health care was covered almost 100% by employers and the stock market reflected businesses that were in it for the long haul and reinvested profits to keep the company profitable and stable. So many of the people they disparage don't have the same opportunity starting out as they did.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)(that be the Dems, they are going there again).
The effort to educate now three generations has completely failed.
The US also is not that conservative. You took many of those folks and did NOT mention party. I am betting they would be for a lot of things they otherwise are against.
We have had plenty of polling on this. The country is far less conservative than both parties.
"many of the people they disparage don't have the same opportunity starting out as they did."
But, I am certain they would disparage "the Cosby Family" who may be doing just as well or better financially.
The Straight Story
(48,121 posts)Example: 0.8% of group X does Y. Therefore all of group X is bad and should be shamed/feared.
This is part and parcel of DU and if people don't follow that ideal than they are basically seen as rw nut jobs.
Flatulo
(5,005 posts)This place is crawling with bullies and close-minded haters.
No Vested Interest
(5,166 posts)I would get upset with some of the bigotry I read on the Religion forum, until I discovered the "ignore". column and filled it up with the most consistently hateful DUers. I don't object to civil disagreements, but the ones I'm referring to were not.
I use the past tense, because they are no longer a part of my life.
Tonight, for the first time, I blocked the Facebook comments of a young, distantly-connected relative because of her nasty anti-Obama posting. There comes a time when you've had enough, and that was tonight.
Have a good evening, all.
Flatulo
(5,005 posts)Agnosticsherbet
(11,619 posts)People can disagree fundamentally on some things, and be good human beings.
Kablooie
(18,634 posts)Same with fundamentalist Christians. I'm sure many follow Christ's teachings in many ways but right wing propaganda has blinded them to the un-Christian attitudes in certain areas.
Flatulo
(5,005 posts)Of course, the Limbaughs and Hannitys feed this paranoia brilliantly.
Phentex
(16,334 posts)Always fear before compassion.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)I agree with you.
It's quite likely...probable...that fear is at the base of it.
Which brings up a whole other issue, for me, at least...
If fear is at the base of it, then that means they are not bad, evil people. Fear is a powerful thing.
I know because my life is ruled by fear via panic and anxiety disorders.
If people want to call others whose attitudes in politics are ruled by fear, "bad" or "evil" or "stupid", then they're also calling me, and millions like me with fear based mental illnesses, the same thing.
Even the word "Homophobia" used as an accusation implies that any phobia is cause for disgust toward the person feeling it.
That attitude is not helpful.
If one wants to help somebody with a phobia, one doesn't sneer and point accusing fingers or accuse the sufferer of being a bad person. One tries to help the person see that what he's afraid of isn't going to hurt him.
But I think that's probably not really the goal for some who label others. I think people who label others really only want to make themselves believe they're better than the people they label.
"Look at MEEEEE!!!! I'm so Liberal!!! I'm better than YOUUUU are!!!"
that's bullshit.
Flatulo
(5,005 posts)I definitely sympathize. It controls your life.
If you do a search, you will find that I have never, not ever referred to Republicans as evil or devils or demons or anything like that. I believe we have a different philosophy, but they have every right to be here, just like us.
I also believe that having a left and a right is a good thing, and it creates a healthy tension that prevents our society from careening too far to either the right or the left.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)what I think as well...
Having a balance is always preferable.
I would no more like to be ruled by far Leftists than I would by far Rightists.
I always vote Democrat, but I do believe that healthy competition from the other side is a good thing.
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)I live in Texas and not only that but inside one of the most red counties in the state. As such I routinely interact with wingnuts both in my community and at work. Certainly some of these people are complete festering assholes that I would never associate with in any shape or form. However many Republicans are courteous and considerate individuals and while I don't think that courtesy and consideration often extends past people they don't identify well with, it doesn't mean they aren't capable of basic decency in regards to personal interactions. Many of them are just deluded by fucked up ideological ideas simply because that's the environment they have been led to accept.
The other side to that coin is that Republcans don't have a monopoly on assholery. There are plenty of Democrats I don't care to associate with either even if I generally agree with them on ideological grounds.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)and more about people.
GalaxyHunter
(271 posts)I'll wait till I start to read the book before I make a decision on it.
I'm not always so quick to pigeon-hole someone it is just that his SUV stood out. This was not the type of area where people have things scrawled in big black letters on their car. Everyone walks around in tailored clothes making sure you know they belong there and have a trust fund to back it up.
He must have really bought into the Benghazi thing, hook line and sinker to drive around like that. Everything else about him screamed, "I have money!". It wasn't until later last night that I thought about how I had judged/dismissed him as a troublemaker when he wasn't necessarily an all around rage filled Limbaugh listener. I guess social graces can go a long way in adjusting impressions.
GalaxyHunter
(271 posts)gvstn
(2,805 posts)I would probably never have noticed him or his car if I hadn't just spent an hour in the parking lot watching people go about their business as a way to kill time while waiting. I'm fairly sure it was his car as he would have been about the right age for a DAV license plate as he was in his mid 50's. But either way, he did a nice thing and I misjudged him on appearances alone.