On Republican Flag Waving, Ignorance of our Nation's History, and the Snobbery of Education

[jsmirman]

With Santorum's latest misstep, I am reminded once again of how, for a party that behaves as though the American flag was stitched with a big red elephant in the middle of the design, they sure are ignorant of, you know, the actual history of this great nation, and are inclined to recreations of the past that are as fanciful as "the stars and stripes and elephants."

It seems like a good time to pass along an (edited version of an) email I wrote some time ago decrying these bass ackwards claims of connection to our country's roots, when a staunch Republican in our extended circle of friends tried to defend Palin's remarks on Revere as anything other than the ramblings of a woman who probably knows her Alaskan Separatist history.

Amazingly, my knowledge of the revolutionary period stems from a roster of right wing bugaboos - a solid K-18 education, a first rate course of study at a first rate college, and the intellectual curiosity to pursue such studies further in the years that followed. Oh, and the whole actually giving a shit about my country thing.

Anyhow, this was the email (certain particulars have been clipped to protect the not all that innocent) -

It begins with a response to the idea that "Palin wasn't really all that wrong":

That is a load of horse shit. And btw, I would be glad, at some point this weekend to provide you with a good starting reading list on the revolution, which will cover things like "Gentleman Johnny Burgoyne," the battle for Boston, some of the fighting in my home state, and Nathanael Greene ("Washington's General&quot and the fascinating and ingenuous Henry Knox.

To dispel nonsense like Palin's "account" of the ride, which - of fucking course - was one of multiple such rides that night - Revere just managed to get himself caught - multiple times I believe - and thus failed in many ways in his task, but was fortunately not alone in those duties - I recommend you to a generally interesting and enlightening compendium by Ray Raphael called, "Founding Myths," which will reveal that it is extremely unlikely that anyone known as "Molly Pitcher" ever existed, even though I stop at her rest area ever so frequently.

I'm sorry if that sort of thing fucks up the kind of robot-rolled out faux-americana shit holes where you can grab a sub-par meal and fuzzy your brain luxuriating in someone's sad recreation of something that never existed.

You might also want to check out Robert Wuhl's surprisingly piquant "Assume the Position," where he breaks down "Revere's Ride" (a total misnomer) in excellent detail.

Paul Revere was one of a number of riders tasked with alerting the countryside, raising the militias - BUT - MOST PARTICULARLY - in terms of the number one mission of any of the riders that night - alerting the Colonial Honchos to have our men make haste to the contested armory to secure the contents and thwart the main British mission.

At this point I respond to a soft-hearted NPR interview of a Suffolk University professor who went for a "let's all be nice and give dullard Sarah an encouraging pat on the head for her spirited interest in History!" angle:

I don't know Professor Allison from the esteemed Suffolk University from Adam, but I can tell you that he confirms that A) the main contest of the night was the race for the armory and B) that to say Revere was "firing warning shots" is ludicrous.

There is a wacky paragraph that sticks out like a sore thumb or an odd tangent where he talks about Revere being part of some "warning to the British Empire what will happen if you provoke Americans" in his attempt to have everybody be happy about exploring history, facts and particulars be damned.

I sincerely doubt the contention that Revere had the goal of "warning the British Empire what will happen if you provoke Americans" on the night in question. If Revere wished to do anything it was 1) to participate in the race of getting WORD TO THE COLONISTS so that they could get to the armory before Gage could and 2) Once he got caught - which, as I mentioned, I believe he did at least twice - at that time - he perhaps wanted to BLUFF the British into thinking something other than a headlong rush for the armory was the way to go. Dawes may have also gotten caught, but the pleasingly named Israel Bissell was the rider who made it to his intended target and then some, actually warning the people who needed to be warned that the British were fucking coming. Which, you know, WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING MISSION.

I believe this is what Palin said: "He who warned, uh, the ... the British that they weren't gonna be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells and, um, by making sure that as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free ... and we were gonna be armed."

To that I say utter bullshit. Yes, he was warning the British they weren't going to be taking away our arms. That is a brilliant description of someone whose mission was to make sure the arms at Concord would not be taken by the British, but would remain in Colonial hands.


Yes, I'm sure on being captured he handed over a map with the best route to the armory, and declared, "but those American arms?! You won't be getting them." His job was to alert other colonials. Serving as part of some first line of defense to delay and harry the British is the last thing on the mind of a rider tasked with spreading a message to the home front.

Man, if Palin was giving out the directions that night, we'd all be drinking tea and sending farthings over to England for every one of these emails we send.

Revere fired no warning shots - that would have been utterly idiotic, seeing as even though he was a terrific failure in this regard, Revere and Dawes, and the SUCCESSFUL Bissell were... HOPING TO NOT GET CAUGHT.

We sure as shit weren't secure in the idea that "we were gonna be secure" - anyone holding that opinion on the colonial side if this thing were to come actual blows and blood would have been an utter fucking moron - the idea that "we were gonna be free" was about as tenuous as any hope could possibly be - in fact, part of the PURPOSE OF THE WARNING SYSTEM was to make sure that the leaders of the nascent revolution got the fuck out of dodge in time to not be captured, and, as to "we were gonna be armed" - well, that was kind of the point of the whole race for Concord thing.

She was not correct, and an interview with someone trying to be nice about it, perhaps, is not going to stand muster against the fact that I ACTUALLY KNOW MY FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY HISTORY. I'd appreciate it if others who might share my interest in study of these events will supply any further necessary correctives, as this has wasted time I hoped to never commit to the verbal meanderings of that unfit moron.

As we say in basketball, please get the fuck out of my house.

[Pholus]

1. It's sooo funny how history gets rewritten to fit some peoples desires. Thanks for the information!

During a tour I realized suddenly that the one line summary of the battle for Fort McHenry was: The British came over and shot the heck out of us, then got tired and decided to try again on another day which they never quite got around to.

That *was* an incredible victory for us -- and in line with the classic occupation denial strategies of just making it costly and waiting the occupiers out -- but we seem to want to make it much more of a Rambo-type thing in our memories.

I have to remember Israel Bissell though....that story is priceless.

[pinboy3niner]

2. Paul Revere's MOST important mission...