You will die itchy and a little fat. Mark Morford
American! Are you bored? Jaded by the government shutdown and the squishy Tea Party imbeciles who caused it, but not quite yet completely paralyzed with fear that the world is closing in around you?
Worry not: There is a way to know almost everything. There is a way to add mountains of wonderfully specific, yet somehow insufferably vague data to your collection of paranoia, your secret bucket of looming gloom. It’s a completely legal, scientifically approved way to feel like you are suffering nothing, but are just on the verge of getting slammed by nearly everything. What could be better?
There are metrics. There are services. There are increasingly popular companies that will scan, dissect and pick apart your very DNA and tell you, to the Nth degree, what you might or might not be prone to, which of a few hundred ailments, tendencies and afflictions are picking at the scabs of your deepest dread.
Also! Which colors suit you best, which foods and prescription meds and workouts, what kinds of dog, why you should never wear plaid or vote Republican or do push-ups, crane your neck, eat asparagus. I’m exaggerating. But only a little.
The rest: http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2013/10/01/you-will-die-itchy-and-a-little-fat/