Cruz triple-dog dared him and Boehner is left with his tongue stuck to the flagpole

[bigbrother05]

Or maybe he called him chicken?

There is usually some smartass standing off camera when some schmuck is left twisting in the wind. Notice the glaring absence of Tough Guy Ted since the shutdown? Guess he didn't really have any Plan B, just wanted to show everyone who was in charge in the lead up to disaster.

[Loudly]

1. Ted turns out to be just a character in a play.

He had his speech, now the plot continues.

[Art_from_Ark]

2. So is he Rosencrantz

or Guildenstern?

[Loudly]

3. Headed for Wikipedia on that.

Reserve my time to amend and extend.

[bigbrother05]

4. He's the type to welch on a bet when the other guy actually eats the bug

Or he's the one they interview and says "No one seriously thought he would go through with it, figured he was just kidding".

[Loudly]

5. How vigorously do I need to say the word:

Sequester.

Is that a backfire or no?

Roll call.

[Brigid]

6. You get a rec just for the title!

[edbermac]

7. 'Scut Farkus' Boehner will get his ass kicked by Barack 'Ralphie' Obama