Rep. Michele Bachmann declares that we are in the End Times: 'His day is at hand.'

[mfcorey1]

The sad part is that she is serious. One more nutbag for the SHIP OF FOOLS.


There is a new conspiracy theory circulating among the far-right proclaiming that the President of the United States is secretly arming al-Qaeda-linked terrorists in Syria. The precise reasoning by this theory is, as usual, a bit vague, but seems to have something to do with the presumption of all far-right conservatives that all brown people everywhere are secret members of al Qaeda, and that Barack Obama is secretly a Muslim and therefore secretly a member of al Qaeda, and all those drones killing people across the world for so much as drawing "I heart al Qaeda" on napkin is a false flag to distract us all from how the President of the United States secretly wants the terrorists to win. It may also be a delayed reaction to John McCain going to Syria and demanding in very stern tones that we give people he barely knew those very weapons, or a general confusion as to which of the twenty or so existing far-right gun conspiracy theories ought to be linked to brown people at any given time, or—you know what, parsing this out is impossible. Suffice it to say that they now believe Barack Obama is funneling arms to al Qaeda because of fucking course they do.

Leave it to Michele Bachmann, who I will remind all of America is still an actual member of Congress and not a crazy person with twenty cats who calls C-SPAN every evening to inform the hosts as to what legislative ideas her cats have given her today, to take this new theory to its only logical conclusion: the End Times are upon us.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/10/08/1245335/-Rep-Michele-Bachmann-declares-that-we-are-in-the-End-Times-His-day-is-at-hand

[newfie11]

1. And this nitwit is on the intelligence committee

Proof the dumbing of America is here!

[valerief]

5. Yes, but it's the Congressional Intelligence committee, and we know there's very little

intelligence in Congress.

[newfie11]

29. Lol, well said

[rurallib]

2. Time to give away your material wealth and enter the Kingdom, Michele

else you are not a true believer and the Kingdom door shall shut on you.
You have until 5PM central today, else you will be among the lost souls.

[Uben]

3. Religious fanatics have been saying this for decades....

Why? Because the preachers, priests, ministers, etc. have drilled it into them every Sunday....and we all know if you say it enough.....

They are no less than con men selling end-times as a pig in a poke.

[tanyev]

4. Then why bother trying to defund Obamacare, Michele?

I mean, if it's really End Times, then what does it matter? Rejoice, Maranatha, yadda yadda, yadda.

[Snake Plissken]

6. Jesus came back last week to fix the default situation

Unfortunately he was gunned down as he crossed the border by a Tea Bagger who thought he was an Islamic Terrorist from Mexico


So Sorry Michelle, The Apocalypse is on hold, until God can come up with another messiah, preferably a White one that is Teabagger Friendly

[jsr]

7. Duh.

[RoBear]

15. wait a minute!

Is that during the national anthem or the flag salute? In either case I think the correct hand is the RIGHT one, not the left! It's a coded message! Runaway runaway runaway! She's signaling to her minions!!!

Need I add a sarcasm sign?

[malaise]

8. Are you sure she isn't speaking about the Feds and her

campaign finance issues. The end of her freedom is nigh!!

[hatrack]

9. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

Dear Rep. Arglebarglewargh (R-MN):

Do us all a favor. The next time "God tells you" to speak about your faith, just shut up. I don't care if it's the Dove of Peace tickling your heart, or the Holy Ghost stealing your car keys, just shut the fuck up.

You want to believe in the impending arrival of Terminator Jesus? Fine. You're pantingly impatient for the coming of the 12th Imam? Cool. You want to believe that a homicidal Santa Claus straddling a sleigh equipped with Stinger missiles, mini-guns and VX canisters will be sent from Heaven to separate the sheep from the goats on the Last Day? Have at it.

But do us a favor - while you're a federal elected official and (amazingly enough) one of the people in charge of creating federal law, do us all a favor, and shut the fuck up.

Do you know why that might be a good idea? Do you know why you might not want to publicly announce that you share the omnicidal blood-drenched dreams of the dullest and most fearful of those who support you?

Well, I'll tell you, Rep. Arglebarglewargh - because when you get the armed morons moving, it's kind of hard to stop them. When you solicit the votes of people who don't know the difference between a Sunni and Sunny Delight, who can't tell Rome from a Roma tomato, and couldn't find India on a map with a gun to their head, tell them that the President of the United States is in league with Al Qaeda, and then invoke a bunch of sub-Left Behind apocalyptic bullshit, you know what happens?

A few of them are likely to start cleaning the guns and loading up the truck. A few of them are likely to start hosing down the fertilizer with diesel fuel. And then, eventually, someone or two or three turn the key in the ignition and head for the Beltway, or the Federal Building, or the Statehouse so that they can strike a blow for Terminator Jesus, just like you told them to.

So do them, and us and yourself a favor.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

[7wo7rees]

32. +1000

[Swede Atlanta]

10. I have said this before.....

Sometimes I don't know whether to think these nut cases actually believe what comes out of their mouths or if they are just doing this either to placate stupid people in their districts or to get attention (usually national)?

In MB's case I almost think she believes it but no one can ever be really sure.

[Liberalynn]

14. I too believe some of them are just making crap up to sell their brand

to the loonies.

But I think MB is a genuine looney herself. Nobody can be that good an actress. JMHO.

[MineralMan]

11. Well, the "End Times" for her political career

are at hand. The leaves are on the fig tree, for sure, in that regard.

If anyone wonders what the fig tree reference means, look up the parable of the fig tree. It's in most of the Gospels. The fundamental thing is that when the fig tree produces leaves, summer is near. In context, many take this to mean that when the "signs are visible" expect the second coming.

Michelle is expecting a second coming, but she's leaving, so it won't be coming for her.

[Liberalynn]

12. She needs to "end" up in a mental institution with safety pads on the walls.

[NuclearDem]

13. Well, I'm convinced. Global warming isn't man made.

It's God resulting to desperate measures to get rid of Michelle Bachmann.

[NightWatcher]

16. Time for her to put on her Nike's and board the mothership

Here's a roll of quarters, now off you go.

Or as Patton Oswalt says " I'm glad you like a book." (Re: their Bible).

[mnmoderatedem]

17. So when Reagan sold arms to Iran.

where was the armaggedon then?

[Stainless]

18. Evangelical Trash Talker

Just like female members of my so called Christian family. They're all kind of nuts!

[Fawke Em]

19. How come she's not in jail, yet?

[Lobo27]

20. So I guess the Antichrist is upon us...

No need to remind anyone who they claim the Antichrist is... Pretty soon we will be given the mark of the beast... They take shit to serious, I live by the motto that the world ends when you die and thats it.

[hamsterjill]

21. Why do Bachmann and her types want to die so eagerly?

I will never understand that. But if they do, do they really need to try to take all of us with them???!!!

Uh, but could we forego the stereotypical "crazy cat lady" stuff? There are plenty of us on DU who are involved in rescue groups, etc. We don't consider ourselves crazy, and we're really trying hard to do away with that stereotype. (Thank you!)

[Theyletmeeatcake2]

22. The only thing they think is dying is their power over people.

They exercise power over people with fear,like all religions it's faith not fact based . They know how to turn on the waterworks when their power is threatened...this is snake oil of the highest quality.Fuck 'em I say...if the lord's on their side then this may be my last post...( gotta go sometime..)
P.s. I agree , no cat in it's right mind would hang around this sort of crazy...too much batshit!!!

[mountain grammy]

23. Go to prison, Michele. Lots of souls to save there...

[PrestonLocke]

24. Can you blame her?

She's just pandering to her constituents.

[SomethingFishy]

25. You know, these religious folks are nothing if not hilarious...

They don't care about Global Warming, or Drill Baby Drill, because they don't think they are going to be here. They actually believe that Jesus is coming for them. Soon. Not much concern about the future. In their minds they can trash the place on their way out..

However, do you notice that when it comes to Democratic policies, that they are concerned with nothing but the future? "We can't leave all this debt to our children. Think of the future generations!!"

[BlueToTheBone]

26. I think she feels the pressure of prison. n/t

[Gothmog]

27. Juanita Jean had some fun with this story

http://www.juanitajean.com/2013/10/08/apocalypse-alert-apocalypse-alert/

Do you want to know what her major concern is?

“We are seeing that in our time. Yes it gives us fear in some respects because we want the retirement that our parents enjoyed. Well they will, if they know Jesus Christ.”

If the apocalypse comes, she’s worried that she won’t get her retirement. She is not worried about fire and brimstone, no siree. She’s not even breaking a sweat over the three horsemen and the plague and crap. She is worried that she won’t get retirement. Yeah, that would be my big concern, too. ”Lord, do not come while there’s still a dollar in my retirement account.”

“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann added later.

So if Obama is bringing about something to rejoice, why the hell are you so damn mean to him? That’s the part I don’t get.

No, that’s not true. The part I really don’t get is how she remembers to breathe.

[Orsino]

28. Therefore we aren't.

That was easy.

[joeybee12]

30. A co-worker believes that shit...

There is no talking to her about it...not at all...it's not a belief, it's a mental illness.

[Hekate]

31. WHY do people who believe that stuff bother running for office?

I have more respect for the ones who take up a life of prayer and leave the rest of us alone.

[kentuck]

33. "Hunh! I'm telling you my Brother!"...

"You better get down on your prayer bones and pray 'cause the end o' time is coming soon!"...

(My best Pentecostal Holiness imitation)