I am a slut.

[lapislzi]

There, I said it. Before I married my present husband, I had sex with whomever I pleased, as often as I pleased. In cars, and out. While I was a college student. When I traveled.

I have used almost every form of available birth control for both contraception and for medical needs. I had an abortion when my contraception failed.

I had so much sex that it would make Limbaugh's eyes pop out.

I still have all the sex I want, with my husband (he's OK with this).

I am not ashamed of my sexual history, but there are those who think I should be. I'd like to know why.

I also know that there are DUers who would prefer that I don't call myself a slut. But, I am a woman of lusty appetites, and I refuse to be ashamed, and I refuse to be quiet.

[DefenseLawyer]

1. I tried really hard to be a slut as a young man

but I have to report that I was never as successful as I wanted to be.

[malthaussen]

2. In all seriousness, I've never understood the word, or the attitude that invented the word.

Queue up "Ain't Nobody's Business." The whole good girl/bad girl dilemma in our society has always baffled the shit out of me.

-- Mal

[HopeHoops]

3. So, what you're saying is that you were normal.

[lapislzi]

5. Amazingly, yes.

Despite society's best efforts to shame me.

It also takes a special kind of partner to love a slut, and I am delighted to have found one. There were times in my youth when men (I am 90% hetero) would back away or visibly wilt when faced with a sexually assertive woman.

[patrice]

4. While we're admitting things: I told my daughter, when she was in her first serious relationship, in

high school, that it was okay to use birth control pills.

I have kept that fact secret until just this week.

I can't speak for how many lovers my daughter has had, but I can say that she tends toward the serious/committed types of long relationships.

She has always displayed very motivated goal-driven behavior and, after several different stages of evolution through the public market place, now has her own very successful business in her home.

[lapislzi]

8. Good for you.

I pre-empted the issue by having my daughter on the pill for her periods from early adolescence. I also beat into her tiny teenage skull that oral contraceptives don't protect you from diseases, so "no glove, no love."

She also knows that should an accident happen, she has my full support however she decides to proceed with the outcome.

I have found it much less exhausting to live in the real world.

[patrice]

17. '... live in the real world.' One of my biggest concerns was that, given what I personally know

about "being a slut", which I prefer to characterize as the awesome power of being a woman, I feared losing her to secrecy and fear and entering that whole crazy maze of deflection and avoidance, instead of sharing whatever she chose to share with me and having that experience as a mother of another woman.

What is needed is attentive appropriateness. My worst problem with her was that she wouldn't keep reasonable hours. Part of that was that she did everything and did it all very well, including successful socializing; since everything except "curfew" was working fine, I found no grounds to interfere with her. I'll always remember when she invited me to go to her soon-to-be university for parents' day. She had come through it all: sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock 'n' roll and when she got to university she was not one bit confused. I walked with her on parents' day; she knew exactly where she wanted to go, whom she wanted to talk to, what questions she was ready to ask, how to figure out everything about this new environment . . . . Not all young people are like this, but a significant number more of them could be if we'd let them know that it IS okay.

These are HER traits; I can't take credit for that much, some was me, some was her strong secure-male peaceful father, some my huge family where she lived around her peer cousins and adults like her parents, and some was certain ones of her teachers who encouraged her mind and validated her different -ness.

[HockeyMom]

16. My daughter (unmarried) asked me about contraceptives

I consider that a honor and what a good relationship between mother and daughter should be. Hello? If I didn't use them as a "slut", or even as a MOTHER, how the hell would I know anything about them?

[patrice]

20. Precisely. "what a good relationship between mother and daughter should be" rather than what is

dictated by others (for their own agendas). What you should be to one another and how that, as you observes, HONORS, the persons involved, instead of a blind system that doesn't know or care about either one of you.

[RainDog]

24. imo, weak-minded women listen to males tell them what to think

about women and their sexuality.

These beliefs stem from religion - and from the concept of women as property within the cultures in which those religions were created.

[patrice]

27. I agree. The characteristics of weak- and strong- minded -ness would be useful for more people

to consider.

I think those traits have been over-simplified, and then socially reinforced, MUCH to our pain and loss.

[uponit7771]

6. I still have all the sex I want, with my husband (he's OK with this)....nice

[lapislzi]

21. I can't help myself

He's just 110% lustworthy (I hope he's reading this...)

[Withywindle]

7. From one slut to another: right on!

I have a similar background, and I also have no shame or regrets about it whatsoever. Why should anyone be ashamed of positive experiences that hurt no one?


I have no idea how much sex a woman is allowed to have before she crosses the "slut" line. There's probably a magical formula somewhere, in some people's minds. But it's all in their minds. I'm not interested in making space for that kind of bullshit in mine.

[lapislzi]

12. A slut is any woman having more sex than you.

Or who doesn't have the decency to be ashamed.

[RainDog]

45. so glad you're gone, right wing talking point troll n/t

[malaise]

9. Happy satisfied slut here too

but never in cars - I love comfort

[lapislzi]

22. Cars are so 1979

I *think* that's when I gave it up...boyfriend had a Datsun 260ZX. You can't do much in one of those.

[malaise]

28. My mom told all her daughters that we must wait until we finished school

and were either employed or in college and definitely not in a car.

And no that car would have been a recipe for gymnastics

[REP]

39. At least he had an S30 2/2 instead of the coupe!

I have the newer incarnation of the Fairlady Z - a coupe - and there's no hump space I have changed clothes in the back of a Karmann Ghia

(The 260ZX is also called S30)

[malaise]

37. Way longer than you'll be around here

Bet on that

[cyberswede]

38. That poster is no longer with us

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=281733&sub=trans

[malaise]

50. Ta Ta

Hope Rush goes that way as well.

[WildEyedLiberal]

46. Haha

Well played

[malaise]

48. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahaha

He disrupted

[RainDog]

10. Why Do We Live in a World That's Petrified of Women Who Love Sex?

via alternet

http://www.alternet.org/sex/154373/why_do_we_live_in_a_world_that%27s_petrified_of_women_who_love_sex/?page=entire

One of the earliest known postclassical joke books is the 15th-century Facetiae of Poggio, in which we find the following anecdote, presented in the painfully stiff English translation:

A woman who was once asked by a man, why, if the pleasure of cohabitation was equal for both sexes, it was generally the men who pursued and importuned the women rather than vice-versa, replied:

“It is a very wise custom that compels the men to take the initiative. For it is certain that we women are always ready for sex; not so you men, however. And we should therefore be soliciting the men in vain, if they happened to be not in the proper condition for it.”

...women’s libidos went from being considered as powerful or more so than men’s to being essentially erased. Pre-Renaissance examples of horny ladies abound, from the Greeks onward: make your own list, but do include Chaucer. He’s such fun. This change in attitudes appears to have been religiously motivated, and based on the idea that women are more spiritual and sacred than men, meaning “less horny.” Again, make your own list of contemporary leftovers of this attitude: there are plenty.

The writer notes that the same joke is now told, but the genders are reversed. The "less desiring of sex" stereotype, therefore, made female desire "abnormal."

The belief that "normal" women do not like sex and view hetero male sexual desire toward them as unwanted creates a rape culture mentality - i.e. women must be taken by force. If they are not, they are abnormal.

[izquierdista]

11. Lust, ok; slut, no-no

Have such a hard time with anagrams. Lemme see, L is for love, that's good; S is for sex, people get hung up about that. OK, I think I can remember now.

[lapislzi]

13. I accept that.

I am lusty and dyslexic.

[librechik]

14. Does anyone notice there is no equivalent smear for men?

This is ONLY about power and sexism. You are NOT a slut, you are only accepting the right's widely broadcast term for women who do not adhere to their demands.

What is the (noticeably perverted) Rush to be called when he is obviously promiscuous?

Rich, successful and powerful, something women will never truly be in his cosmos.

[banned from Kos]

15. I bought my wife the book "The Ethical Slut" - I don't think she read it though.

We vacation in Jamaica with other sluts.

[lapislzi]

19. Great read.

I don't think I'll ever get there (nor will my husband), but I have tremendous respect for poly.

[SomethingFishy]

54. I have read your posts here. You and Rush deserve each other.

Go away and be celibate. And leave the rest of us out of your lunacy.

Oh and one thing. NO ONE, is asking ANYONE, to subsidize SHIT.

Unless you have been donating money to for profit insurance companies.

I realize you aren't too bright so I'll try to make this easy. You pay the Insurance Company. When you need a prescription you make your copay. You spend your money.

So explain where your money comes in when I pay my insurance and make my co-pay.

Or is it that you are angry that insurance companies actually have to insure and cover you?

[samsingh]

18. If only there were more people like you this world would be a better

and more satisfied place !

[lector]

23. So is my wife,

She is the best woman in the world for me. She keeps me young and taught me how to PLAY....
How lucky can one man be!

[duhneece]

25. And I'm a slut right along with you

I refuse shame. I own this word, now. But I don't want to hear any man use this word. Much like blacks who have taken back the 'n' word, owning it. Words that have been used to shame, to make us feel small....never again will a word be used to make me feel small about myself, especially my sexual self.

I'm a 61 year old slut and proud of it!

[lapislzi]

26. Love ya, slut lady!

My life became so much less dramatic when I realized what I am and owned it.

[quaker bill]

29. I am too

I have had sex with two partners, and married them both (at different times) (sex both before and after marrying them).

99.9999% of the time we used birth control (until I got a vasectomy)

Twice we did not use BC and I have two lovely kids.

Since the vast majority of times the sex was just for fun, I must be a slut.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. Brazen hussies must stick together. And be proud.

Yeah I had lots of sex during my college days (the 1970s) and I'm not ashamed of it. Nobody was manipulating me, and I wasn't manipulating anyone else as well.

I'm married and happily monogamous now.
I'm an old reformed tart.

[lapislzi]

52. When I was in college back in the 80s...my theme song was Devo's "Speed Racer"

"Lots of brains, and I like sex!"

It's still true 30 years later.

[WillyT]

31. HUGE K & R !!! - Thank You !!!

[malaise]

40. Go away

Just go away!

[REP]

42. Too hot for Hotsie Totsie - got PPR'd

Awwwwww!!

[RainDog]

44. good riddance to rubbish n/t

[malaise]

51. I love DU

[etherealtruth]

41. Oh honey

... the stupid burns

[RainDog]

43. your response is a Rush Limbaugh talking point

no one is asking you to subsidize a woman's sexual life.

insurance cos pay for this - just as they pay for other medicines. why don't you go try to sugar-shame diabetics for insulin?

[Mopar151]

47. Pleased to make your acquaintence!

It's ladies like you who give men (not crucified eunuchs) hope - that they may meet someone who plays "fun to have" rather than "hard to get".

[sarcasmo]

49. Kick!

[HeiressofBickworth]

53. The lack of knowledge or insight

from these anti-women people just sickens me.

If I have some medical need for a drug that is also called "birth control", I should be able to obtain it through insurance just like I get statins for my cholesterol. I don't have to account for the number of steaks I eat in a month in order to qualify for the statins. I don't think I should have to account for my sexual history or my current or future sexual activities in order to obtain a drug that is legal and prescribed by a doctor.

They are deliberately eliminating the real issue by claiming birth control pills are somehow related to the number of times a woman has sex. Not only is this a total error, but it trivializes the medical needs of women. Let's apply the same criteria for men's sex performance drugs. At least those drugs ARE related to the number of times men have sex.

[UTUSN]

55. Well, I know *I* am, but what are you?!1 n/t