Goodbye, cruel pseudonyms

[carolinayellowdog]

Anyone who has been a DUer since 2002 is entitled, I think, to an explanation of why it is impossible to continue. I’ve taken months and even years away—2600 posts in 12 years is not much. Yet have always been drawn back at election time, addicted to the camaraderie, the information sharing, the humor to be found here, even while ever more horrified at the pure ugly destructiveness of much of the interaction. But there comes a point when one has to make a clean break via a public statement. The fundamental evil eating away the souls of participants at this site is the elephant in the room no one seems to see: pseudonyms.

99% of my writing is under my own name: five books of my own in the past, five current collaborative projects involving chapters or co-editing etc. My books have been published in New York, Florida, and India. Current projects involve editors or co-editors in California, Colorado, and Kentucky. Now one is on the horizon involving a Danish publisher and a Massachusetts co-editor. By and large my writing, all historical, has been national and international in subject matter—but there is one book about family history in the south. I also do a lot of writing as a board officer for two progressive organizations based here in Virginia, one environmental and the other involving mixed ancestry communities and individuals. There is great pleasure and little pain involved in all this written interaction with people locally, nationally, and internationally. UNDER MY OWN NAME.

The pain-to-pleasure ratio of writing anything here as carolinayellowdog is, by contrast, horrendous. Half the time I’m shocked and outraged by the relentless centrist propaganda and assaults on progressives, aggression which has driven away so many good DUers already. Another quarter of the time, I’m disgusted by the general trollish and stalkerish interactions independently of the center/left antagonism. That used to leave 25% positive or amusing reading, but lately every day there are multiple threads in which people display profound ignorance and relentless antagonism over regional issues. I’ve wasted far too much evidence, reason, and pleas for understanding on people who are here to express hostility, to stereotype and scapegoat, to humiilate and drive away the Other. The Other of late being anyone residing in any of the 11 former Confederate states.

It doesn’t matter if your family was Unionist; what your ethnic background is, how progressive your politics, what your sexual orientation is. Does not even matter whether your state voted for Obama twice or elected two Democrats to the Senate or is about to elect one as governor. No matter how long you have been a DUer, how supportive you have been of the progressives under attack, how civil and constructive your contributions have been-- iIf you’re on the wrong side of the Potomac, you’re Other, and there’s no respite from being endlessly told so.

The real shocker came for me when a historically black college in South Carolina was accused of causing the tragic death of a student who gave birth in her dorm room while other students were away on a holiday weekend. Because the college was in the South, and Baptist, she was blamed and ridiculed, with one person joking about her praying to Jesus instead of going to a doctor. Her college on no evidence whatsoever was accused of being some sexphobic Bible college instead of the respected liberal arts institution it is. Even with two black DUers speaking up, one a former student there, saying that unmarried mothers were very welcome on campus and quite common – once these pitbulls got hold of southern+Baptist there was no amount of black+liberal that would get them to stop before they shredded the poor girl to pieces posthumously, along with all her classmates in mourning. I was downright sickened by that display, but it was just a one time thing… until lately when thread after thread makes it absolutely clear that hatred of all southerners is nothing short of a Derangement Syndrome around here.

That is not something I can hold against Democrats, or northerners, or westerners, or any other category except people who write pseudonymously. If the phenomenon of regional hate were as widespread and deepseated as DU makes it seem, my real world experience would not be so completely free of it. Research has shown very convincingly that deindividuation results from anonymity, and that unleashes extremely nasty aggressive behaviors like bullying and stalking. Back in 2002 when I joined here, I signed up under my real name but lasted hardly a month before someone started addressing me in a way that felt so threatening I felt the need to change to a pseudonym. But there were other reasons to want a pseudonym—back when Bush and his wars were popular, Democrats felt besieged, even terrified, hence needing the “Underground.” Losing one’s job was not an unreasonable fear in those days—especially when it happened to one Duer in an incident I will never forget. Now, however, why do people write under pseudonyms instead of their names? To do evil and not face the consequences, basically, in my observation.

Nobody here has more respect from me than Nadin B. and Will P., who have always posted under their real names and taken a hell of a lot of aggravation from the pseudonymous. To most of the rest of you I say—crawl out from behind your pseudonyms and start writing like human beings instead of trolls. It is a far, far more productive way to spend your time and energy.
I am not saying I will never post here again. I am saying that I will only do so under my real name, and only if the site evolves into one in which a person could feel safe doing so. The probability of such a change doesn’t seem very high, but I could start using that original account for the first time in eleven years. I’m sure many of the people who are fiendish, diabolical aggressors here under pseudonyms seem perfectly innocuous in real life under their real names. But asking them to give up pseudonyms amounts to asking a roomful of armed men to put down their guns.

Carolinayellowdog no more

[grantcart]

1. Its unfortunate that such a thoughtful essay will find it difficult to breath on such

a busy night.

It has made me very curious about your professional writing.

[brer cat]

2. Very thoughtful post.

I respect your opinion, and share much of your pain.

I hope you will come back and help us make the change you want to see.

[CK_John]

3. Using your real name in this era of stolen identity is stupid and trying to get

others to disclose names seems to be a criminal tactic.

[Zorra]

5. And a way to get yourself harmed and/or killed if you are a liberal lgbt minority member living in

a rural area and are not interested in profiting, financially and/or egotistically, from public recognition of your real name.

[carolinayellowdog]

7. you think everyone who writes non-pseudonymously does it to profit somehow?

There is a wonderful world of mutually supportive interaction out there among fellow researchers and authors. One can't be a part of that in hiding. Pseudonyms are simply not an option in the world of serious scholarship; fame and money aren't either for the vast majority.

To do the work requires a certain commitment. Once you've experienced the benefits of collaborating with real people in the real world, arguing or commiserating with a bunch of pseudos seems increasingly a waste of time.

[Zorra]

11. No, but I'm already burned out on a public life where I had to work

really hard at preventing myself from becoming an even bigger asshole than I already am.

Just about the last things in the world I want right now are notoriety and invasion of privacy.

[carolinayellowdog]

6. so all books should be published anonymously?

what makes Internet postings more vulnerable to criminal mischief, if you write things you're willing to take responsibility for?

[Silent3]

14. If writing is what you want to get paid to do, you have to take the risk of having your name...

...associated with your views.

I don't know that authors are safer from criminal mischief, but at least the authors who are successful don't typically have to worry about their ability to make a living being affected. Controversy is often where the money is.

If your opinions aren't a profit center, however, you seriously have to worry about future potential employers discriminating against you for whatever they can find out about you that you've posted online. There's a whole lot more potential downside to any of that than possible benefit.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. My name is Laura Harper, and I still don't care who knows it.

This was from another time, but we were better people then:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2587059

[Luminous Animal]

23. That was a beautiful thread. And so many DUers that I miss.

[Hekate]

25. That thread is so long I'll still be reading it tomorrow after I get home

I can't remember if I had the nerve to post my own name -- the Bush Cabal had put the fear of Hellfire into me -- but I do remember that thread. We were all grieving so hard over the results of the re-election, tears and anger and despair. And that thread, that show of solidarity, really helped.

Yes, Laura, we were better people then.

[NRaleighLiberal]

4. Thanks for the time, thought and effort you put into this - I read it, bookmarked it so I can

be sure to find it to read it again. It deserves time to think about it and to process.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. You will be missed.

[LWolf]

10. I appreciate this post,

and everything you are saying. I think you've got a good point about the behavior of the anonymous.

That said, I'm going to stay underground. I'm a teacher. The climate in the nation, let alone on DU, is not safe enough for teachers for me to express myself publicly above ground. I've already, even with a pseudonym, been attacked in my real professional life for something I said on DU. I don't say nearly as much about my profession here as I once did because of that.

I've also had a DUer who apparently has some cyberskills get angry at something I said, backtrack me, and post real information. Which the admins were quick to delete.

Usernames are not as anonymous as we'd like to think. Still, I'll be holding on to mine for awhile yet. Maybe if I can ever afford to retire, I'll move above ground.

[carolinayellowdog]

12. Thanks, I'm retired from a public service job which changes things for me

But so far people seem to be missing the fact that I said DU as it now is cannot be a safe place for me, even as a retiree, so I'd never recommend dropping pseudonymity to the more vulnerable jobwise or whatever.

But while most seem to feel threatened by what might happen outside DU if someone read what one posts, I feel more threatened by what DUers themselves might be capable of-- sad to say but based on some very nasty stalkerish rightwing sites that are obviously run by people who are members here solely to stir up trouble.

[panader0]

13. what is an emoprog?

[carolinayellowdog]

29. a term of abuse that some have embraced as their own-- first heard here for me

The brief answer is that I kept noticing good DUers being called that by bad ones, have never heard of it before then. Here is an online definition I like:

A pejorative used by hawkish, austerity-loving conservatives who think they're Liberals because they're not or barely not racist or anti-gay. Emoprogs make fake Democrat get their undies in a bunch because emoprogs insist that Democrats act like Democrats and not like Reagan Republicans.

Billy doesn't want to bomb Damascus with depleted uranium shells, he must be an emoprog.

Susie is an emoprog because she won't meet the republicans half-way on cutting Social Security earned benefits. But screw the elderly, I want a tax cut.

fits me far better than yellow dog, a matter of loyalty to the 99% rather than the portion of the 1% with a D after its name.

[LWolf]

32. The bigger something becomes,

the harder it is to monitor. I didn't seem to worry about these things in earlier years when DU really seemed to be underground.

I see some of the same things you are seeing, and am appalled by them. It's been instructive for me to see how far some are willing to go in the name of loyalty to party or personality, while crucifying the opposition for the same thing.

It's also a hell of a lot easier, imo, for disruptors to hide for longer and get away with more, when the "centrist" message fits their rw viewpoints so well.

[bhikkhu]

15. I'd be happy to post under my own name

but there would be local "retribution", as the majority of my town, including my co-workers and boss, customers at work, and plenty of my kid's friend's parents, are right wingers and hate-radio listeners. Most people know where I stand, but still...Its very nice to be able to speak freely here, as I really can't very often otherwise. I already lost one job (at least partially) for having a big mouth during the last Iraq war.

But I do agree that respect goes out to those posting under their real names. Maybe they are fortunate in one way, but it does take some balls to do that anywhere.

[Ms. Toad]

16. Having done a lot of work in the realm of pseudonymity -

and having been a member of more than a dozen online communities since the late 80s, most of which permit the use of pseudonyms, I do not agree with your conclusion that the correlation between bad behavior and pseudonyms which occurs in some communities/online venues means that the bad behavior is caused by pseudonymity.

DU is by far the rudest of any of the dozen online communities I participate (or have participated) in. All of the others, without exception, have the same characteristics you seem to attribute to using your real name - camaraderie, collaboration, depth of interaction and knowledge of each other. Pseudonyms, in those communities, merely serve to make it possible to speak openly on the internet (which is critical to the mission of many of the groups I participate in) without exposing ourselves to the risks associated with being identifiable in a google-searchable way when speaking about sensitive subjects (subjects like being a sexual minority, having (or caring for) someone with an illness which carries a stigma, having survived sexual abuse, or having a criminal background, etc.)

It is one thing to use a real name with people who have the opportunity to know me as a whole person (which I always do) - and quite another to use a real name which might turn up in a google search for a one dimensional lesbian to terrorize. Even so, I choose to use my real name as long as registration is required to read the community conversations (although I do so from a place of pretty extreme privilege, and completely understand and support the use of pseudonyms by anyone who does not feel safe using their real name). But, with one exception - and exception made specifically to challenge the real names requirements of a community organization which purported to be dedicated to creation of a diverse, transparent, online community - in ungated communities (where anyone can read the posts) I use pseudonyms to allow me to speak openly - as a whole person - about subjects which might put me (my job, my family, my life) at risk.

And my experience has been that what I call myself (or what anyone else calls themselves) is completely irrelevant to the richness of the interactions I have with others in the communities. There are people I know now in real life, and consider friends, who I met online when one or both of us were using pseudonyms. Those friendships, and our mutual respect for what each of us brings to the relationship - and offers to the online communities in which our friendships began, are every bit as rich and deep as the friendships I have begun with people I met online using our real names.

People who behave badly while using a pseudonym are using pseudonymity as a cover for their behavior (including some on DU) - but it is not pseudonymity which causes the behavior. Spend some time working with MIRT (or I assume the hosts) - or even just find a smaller group within DU where there is a chance to develop a deeper relationship with a group of DUers who share a common interest - and you will find a different DU despite the fact that everyone is still using pseudonyms.

I have personally experienced so many deep and rich online communities which would not exist but for the ability to speak using pseudonyms about parts of our lives that might subject us to real risk. Those communities are a valuable resource (which wouldn't exist but for the ability to use a pseudonym) for so many who are otherwise isolated because of the stigma associated with pieces of their lives. So while I would not begrudge anyone their choice to use their real name online, I do find equating pseudonymity with shallow, cruel, bullying behavior offensive.

[Zorra]

17. Oh, wow. One of the most eloquent, cogent, real, and beautiful posts I have ever seen

anywhere.

~*Curtsey*~ ma'am...bookmarking this thread just to save your post in order to study how to write more eloquently.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

20. Very well said! My hat off to you.

[hunter]

21. Yeah, what Ms. Toad said...

Thank you, Ms. Toad!

I've been mulling about trying to express my feelings about carolinayellowdog's post, and you've said much as I was planning to say, but far more eloquently.

[laundry_queen]

22. Great post and I can relate.

It's not the pseudonyms. I, too, have participated in many online boards, and met many life long friends that started out as pseudonyms. It's something else. I don't want to get into what I think IT is. But, I agree, it's far more than our screen names.

[carolinayellowdog]

24. my experience is of seeing "mixed" groups repeatedly destroyed by the pseudonymous

Thanks for your experience; let my share mine. I've been a very committed and active participant, in one case for more than a decade, in online discussion fora that ultimately collapsed. And looking back on what went wrong, in every case there was wild irresponsible behavior by the pseudonymous that ran all the sane members off. One individual who posted under sockpuppets as well as his own name now addresses only three or four fellow trolls in a forum that once had more than a thousand posts per month.

Those were cases where half or more of the people posted under their own names, but pseudonyms were also allowed. And the biggest most destructive troublemaker didn't create obvious pseudonyms like the ones here, but FAKE NAMES that looked real at a glance. I defer to your experience of groups that were entirely pseudonymous and mutually supportive. At the same time, I want you to understand that DU is not the first site where I've seen the awful behavior that deindividuation can unleash.

[Ms. Toad]

35. People intent on behaving badly

Last edited Thu Oct 17, 2013, 09:58 AM - Edit history (1)

do use whatever tools area available, including pseudonymity, to be jerks. But it isn't the tool that causes the behavior - and banning the use of pseudonyms isn't the answer - as your experience with the most destructive troublemaker should tell you.

When pseudonyms are banned, the ban discourages people who need pseudonyms to be safe from participating in the community - and people intent on behaving badly adopt pseudonyms which sound like real names. In the real name community I challenged, there was one identified troublemaker who did just that. He was eventually banned - not because he was using a pseudonym, but because he was behaving in a way which requiring real names did nothing to deter because he merely adopted a name which sounded real.

In the mean time, there are people I know personally who wanted to be part of the community, and would have brought valuable perspectives, but who were discouraged from participating because respecting community rules is how they operate - both about civil behavior AND the requirement of using real names. Because they could not participate without violating the rules of the community about names, their voices were absent.

When it is the behavior which is troubling, the fix needs to be directed at the trouble - not one of the tools used by the troublemakers particularly when the tool is also needed by individuals who are (or could be if permitted to use a pseudonym ) valuable members of the community.

Banning pseudynoms silences voices which are really important to the diversity of the community - those voices on the margins, the ones most likely to be targeted by individuals intent on doing real harm - not just on disrupting some online conversations.

(ETA - I should add that I think the system that DU has devised for curbing bad behavior works well - in general - but not when the disruptive or hurtful behavior is directed at marginalized voices (including voices which are not marginalized generally - but are on DU - like red geographical regions, and people of faith as two examples of groups which are often the subject of real cruelty which juries allow to leave standing). I have repeatedly pointed this out to admins, and proposed solutions. Their response has universally been that the system is working well - and, in my opinion, they are sincere in their belief because the groups which repeatedly the subject of ignorant or deliberate cruelty just don't include them, so they don't see it - and I haven't figured out a way to make it undeniable.)

[snot]

43. +100.

Also, before getting rid of pseudonyms, I'd consider experimenting with more stringent rules against ad hominem attacks and hijacking threads to discuss side-issues, etc.

[pnwmom]

41. Thank you for putting this into words so well. n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

18. Thanks. But it is not the pseudonyms.

I will save posting what is really the cause of this. Suffice it to say we are seeing something really ugly.

[carolinayellowdog]

30. necessary, but not sufficient-- lack of meaningful moderation the toxic icing on the cake

Ms. Toad makes a point that I respect-- things need not be this way in a pseudonymous forum. But I don't see anyone denying that they are this way, although some ignoreds might be saying that.

Malicious Intruders, from the POV of this very oldtime DUer, have become the most prolific posters.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

34. There is a problem with using your real name.

Many years ago, in the 1980s, I started posting on the Internet, using my real name and giving my work address (which was customary at the time). I angered one man, who did his best to get me fired. I came very close to losing my job, if for no other reason than my boss getting nasty e-mails about me and wishing they would stop. It was only after I threatened legal action that my harasser stopped. Ever since then, I have used a pseudonym.

[nadinbrzezinski]

37. It is the lack of meaningful, fair moderation

Among other things. As I said, there are things that can't be said.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

19. I truly appreciated your long, heartfelt post

I was a bit disappointed with your uneven critique of centrists attacking progressives but were unwilling to admit it cuts both ways. Besides, many labeled as centrist on here are done so pejoratively by self-described progressives--often based on only one or two issues.

I'll have to think about your "real name" gamut you've laid down before us.

[quinnox]

26. well written

As far as the real name stuff goes, no one would know who I am anyway, so it wouldn't make any difference in my case. I prefer not to use real names because you never know what weirdos on the internet might be out there. Hell, I have heard there are sites where these wackos track duers and they seem to have a strange obsession with DU, that seems to be based on hate.

[nadinbrzezinski]

38. Yup, they are fantasy writers

Strange when some of their fantasy on me exactly parallels the fantasies some peddle here. I mean this as 100%.

[Hekate]

27. Like you, I've been here since 2002, and have seen DU devolve

Part of it has to do with size, I think. There were just over 15,000 people when I signed up. Now there are 208,727 user registrations, according to the masthead.

We used to know just about everybody who posted regularly, we had a common cause that united us, and the Admins and Mods used to tombstone anyone who was persistently ugly. It was a small town, if you will. We felt safe with each other, on the whole. I can't believe the way I used to pour my heart out -- but a lot of us did. Now I delete most personal info when I catch myself.

Now DU is a big city, and in addition to the beautiful recreation areas, we have a selection of dark alleyways where the unwary (and even the wary) can get viciously mugged.

Most nights I log in and see a surprising number of hate-filled posts. Just the accusation of homophobia can get someone tombstoned. But feel free to dump shit on every single resident of every Southern state 24/7. Trash all Christians while you're at it.

Something is wrong with this picture.

Meantime it's after 2 am here and I have to be up at 7am.

Best wishes, Carolinayellowdog. I hope I find out what your real name is and what your books are so I can look them up. It's been nice knowing you here.

Hekate

[randome]

28. Couldn't you have just gone streaking in your neighborhood?

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Birds are territorial creatures.
The lyrics to the songbird's melodious trill go something like this:
"Stay out of my territory or I'll PECK YOUR GODDAMNED EYES OUT!"[/center][/font][hr]

[Fumesucker]

31. Some here are still in danger of losing their job if their political opinions become known at work

Hell, even here on the DU there is a lot of hate for anyone even infinitesimally to the left of wherever Obama happens to be at any given moment. I'm sure some of the pragmatic moderate centrists here would be overjoyed to fire any Hamsherite Firebagging Purity Pony Poutragers they might have working for them.

[IdaBriggs]

33. I've been posting under my "real name" since 2004.

Do it or don't - it is a message board.

I do not find this essay to be as thoughtful as some others do, but if you choose to come back as a "real person" - welcome to the party.

[QC]

36. KICK!

[Jim Lane]

39. I've never had problems using my real name, but I realize that others have different circumstances.

I'm straight and cisgender, so not subject to LGBT harassment, and male, so I don't have the additional problems that women sometimes encounter online. I'm self-employed, but even if there were a boss who could fire me, I've lived in blue states since before they were called that, so I think the right-wing employees would be in more danger than I.

IIRC there's academic research concluding that anonymity encourages or at least facilitates bad behavior. It makes sense that someone would be less likely to write "Asshole!" or the like if a prospective employer might read that post someday. As against that, although I never even considered using a pseudonym, I understand why some people think it's prudent, given their circumstances.

I come down on the side of the admins continuing to allow pseudonyms. Nevertheless, I urge the pseudonymous writers to assume that friends and family whom they care about will read the post and know who wrote it. That almost certainly won't happen, but assume it will, and temper your vitriol accordingly. Disagree without being disagreeable, love men but slay errors, and all that.

[steve2470]

40. I've had my DU sticker and Kerry/Edwards stickers "keyed" on my car

That gives you my reason for not going public with my name. Oh sure, if someone is determined/obsessed enough to hunt down all my public details on DU and then do heavy duty detective work, someone could find me. I'm not going to make it easy for them. There's too many unstable conservatives/Republicans in my neck of the woods.

[carolinayellowdog]

42. It is NOT DU where I'm encouraging anyone to post with a real name-- quite the contrary

I guess it's fitting that my final post be one to point out that person after person has totally misconstrued what I meant to be the obvious and explicit message of this OP, and what I meant by "crawl out from behind your pseudonyms and write like human beings."

It is absolutely not a call to change DU rules, which is ridiculous. Pseudonymity is a basic founding principle here; I'm saying it no longer meets my needs at all and in fact it has made the site toxic. Even less is it a proposal for anyone to abandon their pseudonyms here. It is a recommendation to stop feeding the beast by posting anywhere that is populated with pseudonymous abusers. A suggestion that people who have wasted time and energy in this netherworld writing under pseudonyms find places to express themselves that are more constructive and in which using their real names is not dangerous. How much more explicit could I have been that DU is not such a place and doesn't appear likely to ever become one? The very first month or so I was here and started posting under my real name, I concluded that, and have never felt otherwise in 12 years.

I am saying that I will only do so under my real name, and only if the site evolves into one in which a person could feel safe doing so. The probability of such a change doesn’t seem very high, but I could start using that original account for the first time in eleven years.

But missing someone's point and arguing against straw men is classic DU. I might admire Nadin and Will for facing the onslaught of harassment under their real names, but am completely unwilling to pay such a cost myself here and would never ever tell anyone else to expose him or herself to such risks.

But asking them to give up pseudonyms amounts to asking a roomful of armed men to put down their guns.

Apologies for any lack of clarity on my part but that does not read like "here's a good idea."

A final thanks to anyone who thought the OP took any time or planning to write. It was written in one sitting, 15 minutes or so, but says what I've been feeling and thinking for months and years as a hanger-on from the early DU.