"Four score and a couple hours ago. . . ." Please come CAPTION Rand Paul!!!

[skip fox]

?6


Rand ("I will not eat them, Sam-I-Am!&quot Paul is saying: "Never since our forefathers have brought forth upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, has one suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous accusations more than I or you might have dreamed in all your philosophies, in either the worst or best of times, since never have so few given so much for so many. Thus 'tis to a far, far better place I retreat, for there are miles to go before I sleep."


***************************************************************

The above CAPTION, of course, based on the fact Paul has plagiarized insistently in multiple venues. The following Rachel Maddow video on Huffington Post is the best (most succinct and humorous) on this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/05/rachel-maddow-rand-paul-duel-response_n_4218173.html?utm_hp_ref=politics&ir=Politics

[lonestarnot]

1. Looks like he's trying to scratch a word out of his eyebrow.

Ackety. Maybe he has bugs. Are they using this fucker to distract from something?

[giftedgirl77]

2. Shit, they busted me. If I can't steal my ideas from

someone else where am I suppose to get them from?

[kydo]

3. How about this one?

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.

Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist.

And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!"

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! **

**footnote: speech lifted from American Rhetoric: Movie Speech website

Maybe not he probably already copied this one for his 4th of July speech in 2014.

[skip fox]

4. sweet

[skip fox]

5. "Well, at least I have taken from the better writers. That must show how original my mind is."

[skip fox]

6. "Just because I get confused sometimes and don't know what I wrote or not or who I am

this particular time, or how to think outside of what I'm reading or remembering right now, doesn't mean I won't make a good leader of the Republican Party. . . . In fact, I think I represent it!"

[Erose999]

7. He would have been caught earlier, for plagiarizing Ayn Rand. But no one really cares about that

tl/dr crap enough to read it all the way through, other than Rand Paul and Paul Ryan.

[underpants]

8. Rand Paul tries to plagiarize Rodin's "The Thinker" ... But misses

[pokerfan]

9. Rand Paul recalls an incident that occurred during his wartime service ....

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte - just delivered the bomb, the Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about half an hour - a tiger - thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like that you see in the calendar named 'The Battle of Waterloo.' And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin'. Sometimes the shark go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya, right into your eyes. Y'know, the thing about a shark, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn't seem to be livin' until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then - aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and in spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and rip ya to pieces. You know, by the end of that first dawn, we lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I don't know how many men. They averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us. He was a young pilot. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know, that was the time I was most frightened - waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a life jacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

[skip fox]

11. Something you get the shark, sometimes he bites you in half.

I know how corny this speech is, but I always like to hear it.

[pokerfan]

12. It was actually written by Robert Shaw

I thought it was quite good.

The story that Quint tells about his experiences aboard a sinking cruiser is a fictionalized version of the actual World War II Portland-class cruiser USS Indianapolis. Of the 1,196 crewman aboard only 317 survived while 300 died during the sinking and the other 579 dying from exposure, dehydration and mostly shark attacks. The majority of the dialogue in the film was largely written by Robert Shaw. The most major difference between Quint's account and the actual event was the date of the sinking (mentioned in the film as June 29, 1945), while the ship was actually sunk over a month later on July 30. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/trivia

[skip fox]

13. I only call it corny because, like the sentimental, it involves us without thinking.

Within its context (a popular movie) it's better than we can usually expect. AND it's fun, and with the accent an open wound. (I mean that in a good way.)