Man attacked relative for being gay, Lincoln police say
http://www.omaha.com/article/20131111/NEWS/131119831/1685#man-attacked-relative-for-being-gay-lincoln-police-say
LINCOLN — Lincoln police said a 20-year-old man attacked a relative with a crowbar because she’s gay, and investigators are treating the attack as a hate crime.
Police on Friday arrested Ahmed Mohammed Tuma on suspicion of attempted assault, criminal mischief and making terroristic threats. The counts carry a hate crime enhancement.
Police said Tuma and a friend decided to confront the woman about being engaged to another woman. Police said Tuma tried to hit the woman with a crowbar as she got out of her car.
FULL short story at link.
= new reply since forum marked as read
NOTE: This is *NOT* to say this is excusable behavior in any fashion!!!
I know it is completely normal to have a knee-jerk "what a complete idiot!" reaction, but I hope some folk read this reply (without believing I am accepting unacceptable behavior) with the intent of understanding the problem so the root cause can be addressed.
The key is this line: "Police said Tuma indicated that he believes the woman disgraced his family."
We are not used to thinking of "FAMILY HONOR" in the United States; we are a country of immigrants, and with the way we move around, most of us prefer to think of ourselves as INDIVIDUALS who shouldn't be judged by our family of origin (good or bad).
In older cultures, this is not the case. As it has been explained to me (so please keep in mind I may not be understanding things correctly), in the Muslim cultures people do not "date" -- marriages are arranged, and people learn to love each other (or not) within the context of those relationships. Issues that are discussed before the wedding bells take place include values (moral/ethical), standing in the community, and demonstrations of commitment to one's faith/how children will be raised. Since most people can talk a good game (think interviews - lol!), it is the actual BEHAVIOR OF THE FAMILY that is evaluated and investigated before marriage talks can commence.
Examples include: Is anyone in the family in jail? If so, why? How many members completed higher education? What professions do family members engage in? Do they regularly attend religious services? Are they generous to the poor? (This last is a big deal - it implies both "enough funds to BE generous", compassion to others, and awareness of one's obligations to the larger community, as commanded by religious training and common decency.) Etc.
I used to think being judged by your family was ridiculous; now I think there is a lot of sense to some of it as I watch people's success in life hinge on the type of partner they choose. If you pick a partner from a family where addiction and jail time are common place, you will have it in your own life either as your partner deals with it in their family of origin, or worst case, as you end up dealing with it personally. If you pick a partner where a strong work ethic, delayed gratification via education, and abuse of recreational drugs isn't an issue, you start from a different place. Pick a partner from a divorced family, and they might not have learned the "how to have a healthy relationship" basics when young. Pick a partner whose families were all HAPPILY MARRIED for generations, and you hopefully have both "good genes for long life" and some good communication / support skills in place for when life's inevitable trials occur.
In a culture where your own marriage prospects are actually influenced by the behavior of your family, "shame" means something different than it does if you believe you aren't impacted by the time Uncle Joe spent time in jail after his third DUI, or how your brother started dealing illegal drugs in high school, or your teenage sister was giving birth to children without benefit of wedlock, or fill-in-the-blank. All of these issues - addiction, criminal behavior and/or single parenthood - will end up taking time and energy away from the people who are trying to "do the right things in life" and all of them will end up costing money that could be better spent elsewhere. (NOTE: Not criticizing - making a common sense observation; being a teenage single parent is frequently cited as the "number one indication of childhood poverty" - and I *know* there are exceptions to that rule.)
Homosexuality is still considered taboo in the Muslim world. The individual right to be true to one's self - and have family support - is an "American" value that is only recently (less than 50 years?) being applied in this area.
I can only hope this family come to terms with being on the forefront of this civil rights issue, and that the family becomes stronger as they learn to embrace both individuality and family honor.
I think it can be done. 
My two cents.