America Is Launching A Giant, World-Sucking Octopus Into Space

[DeSwiss]

The Huffington Post | By Matt Sledge Posted: 12/05/2013 7:05 pm EST



One of the National Security Agency's partners is launching a spy satellite with a classified payload into space on Thursday night -- and its logo is an angry, globe-gripping octopus.

The spacecraft, being rocketed into the sky by an Atlas V rocket from Vandenberg Air Force Base, carries a payload from the National Reconnaissance Office. Far less well-known than the NSA, the NRO has a budget that is only a shade smaller -- $10.3 billion a year -- and provides satellite-based surveillance capabilities.

"Nothing is beyond our reach," reads a motto beneath the world-sucking cephalopod. The logo is the latest in a long line of patches produced for classified military missions that are equal parts menacing and mysterious.




The Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which also oversees the NSA, tweeted pictures of the launch preparation. That spurred Christopher Soghoian, of the American Civil Liberties Union, to give the spooks some free advice: "You may want to downplay the massive dragnet spying thing right now. This logo isn't helping."

See also: Atlas V Rocket Launches Off California Coast

MORE

- Doesn't this make you feel all snugly and secure? Octopus? This is beginning to read like the plot of an old James Bond movie.

[newfie11]

1. But but why are we so misunderstood

We created the first atomic bomb

We used the first 2 atomic bombs on humans (so far the only ones used).

We invade countries, kill innocents with drones.

We spend more on our military than multiple countries out together.

Now we're sending a spy satellite into space with a picture of an octopus taking over the world.

[DeSwiss]

7. Yeah!

Don't people realize they're only doing it for our own good!?!?!

Don't they know that we're saving them over here so we don't have to save them over there!?!?!

Gawd! How many more satellites, billions of peace-bullets and tasers do we have to brandish to get people to understand!?!?!?

Do we need more airport X-ray machines in here!?!?!

Don't they see how hard it is to save freedom so that people can have freedom by keeping it fresh and clean by not letting people actually use their freedom!?!?!?

- I'll never understand people......

[agent46]

65. ---->

[heaven05]

17. we invade countries and kill

hundreds of thousand on misleading(lies) and flimsy pretexts. Oh, ya got to love us or die.

[BlueStreak]

52. With the message "Nobody is beyond our reach" (slightly edited without changing the real meaning)

My first reaction was this has to be satire. Nobody could be that shockingly arrogant, could they?

[NutmegYankee]

2. I can't get worked up over this

A satellite by nature presents the entire world for viewing. Patches like this are produced for every program and vessel and are often designed by members to be "bad ass, cool, and intimidating".

[DeSwiss]

5. And besides.....

[Bucky]

38. Yes, look at some of these terrifying, militaristic mission logos

A gladiator, but from some frighteningly militant alien species obviously intent on galactic domination





Nasa program intended to drain all the unicorn juice out of the sun





A psychotic giant bird, able to breathe in the vacuum of space harvesting marijuana from the moon.





A giant taser in the act of zapping a dove until it turns bronze-plated





A ram thrusting into the wall of the universe and apparently powered by a big shiny blue viagra pill -- Ew, please stop "exporing my oundaries

[AAO]

47. Very funny and clever. Thanks, Bucky!

[NutmegYankee]

60. Shame he failed to notice that NASA isn't a military agency...

[DeSwiss]

66. Which is why they've never had a military person......

...involved in any way with their missions. Right? As with the octopus above, the arms all belong to one animal.

- One insane-ass animal that likes to kill for money and oil......

[DRoseDARs]

48. NASA is not the same organization as the NSA, love.

Unless you're being intentionally obtuse, NASA does not design logos for the NSA nor vice versa.

[MADem]

58. I suppose if you hand them their "a," NSA could become NASA!

Or they could become ANSA, or NSAA!

[klook]

49. Oh man, I wanna work on that Pink Floyd project!

"Dark Side of the Moon"...

Great post - thanks for the images and clever commentary!

[Egalitarian Thug]

50. Yeah, but you know they're gonna use the unicorn juice for evil. n/t

[Scootaloo]

57. Like NOT pressing Z to make their dreams come true! n/t

[NutmegYankee]

59. Shame you put so much effort in that post, but didn't catch who the agency is...

I was referring to military programs and vessels, which use the NRO. You displayed NASA patches which are a totally different world. Here's a small selection of morale or unit patches:

[NutmegYankee]

42. I was talking about military programs and vessels.

[tclambert]

3. Didn't the Doctor save us from one of those once?

The giant world-sucking octopus, I mean, not the bureaucratic secret spy organization. Even a Timelord can't save us from those.

[JHB]

4. He save us from the Daleks and Cybermen too, but they still keep turning up

Besides, it was K-9 who did all the heavy lifting to get rid of the Galactopus.

[freshwest]

70. Never gets the credit he deserves, either...

[DeSwiss]

8. You sure that wasn't a Star Trek???

You remember, Lt. Uhura and Captain Kirk got stuck in the docking bay and she said that his hands were like an eight-armed octopus....

...wait, that's was another Star Trek I'm thinking of.

- Forget I said anything......

[Egalitarian Thug]

51. That was James Bond, I believe.

[GeorgeGist]

6. Be afraid, be very afraid ...

Stupid phucks are in charge of the global force for goodest.

[Pholus]

9. With their iconography, you understand them.

After all, the octopus tentacles touch the rest of world while the octopus is sucking directly on North America.

All in all, as well thought out a logo as "Total Information Awareness"

[DeSwiss]

13. Oh you mean this?

- Just the usual New World Order minutiae. Pyramids. 3rd Eyes. You know, the usual kind of stuff. Nothing to worry about.

[Pholus]

18. Ever notice where Sauron's eye glare was directed?

The honesty of the imagery these guys turn out has always astounded me, considering how high an opinion they have of their own subtlety....

[freshwest]

71. Yeah, that was classic:

http://socioecohistory.wordpress.com/2013/06/22/british-spy-agency-gchq-taps-fibre-optic-cables-for-secret-access-to-worlds-communications/

Sometimes, things are not exactly what they seem or what CT tells us. I knew it was going to be just another private contract paradise run by soulless bastids. Typical.

[Savannahmann]

10. There are several things out of reach.

Honesty, integrity, respect.

[DeSwiss]

14. These guy's aren't even playing the same game.

-You can't fix rotten. Just compost it.

[grahamhgreen]

75. - common decency, constitutional principals

[leeroysphitz]

11. Umbra

[DeSwiss]

16. ''UMBRA!!!'' He groaned into the toilet in the morning.....

[Laelth]

12. k&r for exposure. n/t

-Laelth

[pinboy3niner]

15. Government spy satellite rockets into space on Atlas 5

BY STEPHEN CLARK
SPACEFLIGHT NOW
Posted: December 6, 2013

...

But independent satellite-watchers believe the spacecraft will join the NRO's fleet of spacecraft with radars to penetrate cloaks of clouds and darkness and reveal what adversaries are doing regardless of weather or time of day.

...


But hobbyists have honed their ability to track satellites in orbit, watching them go overhead based on known launch trajectories and previous experience. With several observations, the hobbyists can estimate a satellite's orbital altitude and inclination, or the angle of the craft's ground track with the equator.

Thursday night's mission, officially dubbed NROL-39, launched on the same type of rocket and on a trajectory mirroring the September 2010 flight, which put its payload in an orbit nearly 700 miles up in a unique retrograde orbit traveling in the opposite direction of Earth's rotation.

...


According to top secret budget documents leaked by Edward Snowden and published by the Washington Post in August, the radar spy satellites are given the codename "Topaz" and replace a previous generation of radar-equipped "Onyx" spacecraft.

The budget document indicated five Topaz satellites are planned before transitioning to a "Block 2" line with upgrades. If the interpretation is correct, two more Topaz satellites remain to be launched before the NRO moves to a follow-on system.

...


http://www.spaceflightnow.com/atlas/av042/131206launch/

[Ghost Dog]

61. unique retrograde orbit traveling in the opposite direction of Earth's rotation

"nearly 700 miles up in a unique retrograde orbit traveling in the opposite direction of Earth's rotation"

... Means these artifacts cover the ground below (and counter-orbiting satellites) very quickly. Useful for surveillance, but also, if armed, for attack.

[NewJeffCT]

19. We're launching Cthulhu into space?

[deutsey]

20. A world-gobbling octupus used to be considered a bad thing

[DeSwiss]

21. Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

- Full. Circle.

[Pholus]

22. AWE-SUM!!!!

Saved to my pics directory!

[DrDebug]

36. lol

[FiveGoodMen]

53. It's not totalitarianism when WE do it!

[caraher]

72. And another one, from WWII

[legin]

23. Sigh

The first thing I urgently needed was a weapon to shoot down drones.

Now I can see I also need a weapon to shoot down satellites.

This going to get expensive.

[DeSwiss]

28. ''What you resist, persist.'' ~Carl Jung n/t

[Baitball Blogger]

24. Yep. A real confidence builder.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024130389

[Arkana]

25. Very SPECTRE-esque.

[KoKo]

26. Oh...my..... Informative Post and Thread.

Can't think of anything else to say...except Oh ...my... Right in your face they are...no shame.

[DeSwiss]

29. ....

[fadedrose]

27. Bring it on

I can't believe the government is going to all this trouble just to watch me work in my yard. If only they'd have asked.....

[DeSwiss]

30. No.....

...they just want your porn site addresses. For national security reason, of course. Apparently they have some heretofore unknown values that helps keep us all safer.

- Probably having to do with large breast and/or penis sizes I would imagine......

[fadedrose]

31. That makes sense...:)

[Dash87]

32. On blastoff: "Release Dah Kracken!"

[eppur_se_muova]

34. ph'nglui mglw'nafh NROL-39 Fort Meade wgah'nagl fhtagn ...

[hatrack]

45. Now THAT'S a terrifying image

Not just cosmic evil and planet-shredding blood lust - but both characteristics combined with cat DNA . . . .

[carla]

35. It is not an octopus...

it is the head of Chthulu. Image of the USG.

[joeybee12]

37. Sums up their mentality...and if you're not afraid,

you don't think like a human being.

[AtheistCrusader]

39. You would think... SOMEONE in the process of designing it, sketching it, painting it onto the rocket

... SOMEONE would have raised a fucking hand and said 'hey guys...'.

I mean come on

[CubicleGuy]

40. In the original 1966 Batman movie with Adam West...

... the logo for the quartet of bad guys opposing Our Hero is an octopus strangling the planet:



The logo reads: United Underworld - Today Gotham City, Tomorrow the World

[NobodyHere]

43. IMO still the best Batman movie

nt

[Erose999]

41. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!

[Cleita]

46. It gives that phrase a whole new meaning doesn't it?

[hatrack]

44. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!!

[jmowreader]

54. I better tell you the official NSA Motto

"In God We Trust - All Others We Monitor."

[Tien1985]

55. I really thought this was going to be satire...

Are we sure this is legit? It seems so out there? Smh

[blkmusclmachine]

56. Your tax dollars at work.

[ConcernedCanuk]

62. I vote Kindasleazy for Octopussy!

.
.
.

Send her up in space to keep that critter company.



CC

[ctsnowman]

63. And we are

going to have to cut back on those pesky entitlement programs to keep paying for this shit.

[agent46]

64. The Logo

The logo is more stupid than scary. Probably designed and approved by the new breed of dumbed down American bureaucrat, raised on violent video games and educated on YouTube.

[backscatter712]

67. The freakiest story I've heard...

...was when NASA was hurting for money, was looking for a way to fund putting an astronomical satellite or two in orbit, and went around, hat in hand, and the NRO essentially told them "Hey, we've got a pair of spares in our garage, you want em?"

The spares that the NRO were trying to get rid of were two Hubble-sized space telescopes! Junk to our military-intelligence-industrial complex, but had the NASA people's eyes popping out of their skulls!

http://atomictoasters.com/2012/06/the-nro-takes-pity-on-nasa-gives-them-spare-hardware/

[BelgianMadCow]

68. People, people, calm down. They're finally launching Goldman-Sachs into orbit!

Well, that's what Vampire Squid says to me Can't believe nobody brought it up in the thread so far.

The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it's everywhere. The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money. In fact, the history of the recent financial crisis, which doubles as a history of the rapid decline and fall of the suddenly swindled dry American empire, reads like a Who's Who of Goldman Sachs graduates.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-great-american-bubble-machine-20100405#ixzz2mpa4bUCw

[Matariki]

69. Holy fuck. I thought that was The Onion

[Jackpine Radical]

73. I think I've seen something like that before…

[Crowman1979]

74. I prefer hand-drawn logos myself.

The computer generated ones look like crap that was made with Windows 95 or some s*** like that.

[grahamhgreen]

76. Looks like the commie octopus of old:

[darkangel218]

77. I wonder what Cthulhu is going to think of this

Hmm...