I have a family member who is a member of the Tea Party

[gollygee]

and who thinks he's an economic genius (libertarian all the way,) and is a proud Male Rights Advocate who thinks most claims of rape are false and most incidents of domestic violence are women beating up men - and if men fight back and send the woman to the hospital, well that's her problem. (You all know how I feel about that, right? I'm from the infamous HOF group.) He thinks there's no such thing as white privilege, and in fact these days people of color have more rights than anyone else, except maybe gay people. (He is so tired of rainbow flags.) He also thinks that the War on Women is a complete falsehood and it's really about women thinking they have a right to kill babies. He also has the biggest sense of entitlement I have ever seen, all the while talking continually about how poor people, working people, and people of color supposedly have huge senses of entitlement. He hates unions, thinks that all pensions should be cut off because that's a "sense of entitlement" thing too, the minimum wage should be ended, social security is Marxist, and I'm sure you can fill in any blanks.

I don't know how to talk to him. I'm supposed to spend Christmas with him at another family member's house. How am I going to do this? He's announced that he won't be buying anyone Christmas presents this year because money is tight for him (despite buying a very expensive new car recently) but he still expects us to buy him Christmas presents. I just got off the phone with him and I'm like, "WHAT?" His wording was more like that they couldn't afford to buy presents, but they were looking forward to Christmas with family since they wouldn't be able to afford to even buy each other gifts and it would otherwise not be a very exciting holiday as they wouldn't get anything at all. If I were in that position, I'd say that we wouldn't be able to exchange gifts that year. I wouldn't tell people I still expected to get them to get me presents. I don't think he even understood that he was saying he wasn't buying others gifts, but still wanted gifts given to him, and I should have called him on it but I was taken aback and left speechless.

TALK ME DOWN, DU! Or give me permission to skip Christmas. I am supposed to travel to Indiana in the winter regardless of road conditions to see him and everyone else. It is so not worth my money or time to be around him. We do plan to stay in a hotel so I can have time to relax in the evening. But still!

I hate these people and I hope they lose what power they have and never get it back.

Does anyone else have a family member like this? How do you deal with it? How are you going to handle the holidays? (Oh wait, I should say Christmas because WAR ON CHRISTMAS!)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. If I were you, I would stay home. Forever.

Family, or not, who cares? If you don't like them or their politics, stay home!

You'll have a better time at home!

[Grey]

9. I agree with Peggy.

[SharonAnn]

59. Truly, I avoid putting myself in situations like that. Maybe I'll

stop by for "dessert" or something like that so that I can spend a small, managed amount of time with the family but I won't expose myself to hours and hours of that kind of environment.

And, as far as gifts, that guy wouldn't get any from me. I'd probably say something like "I'm so glad we're not exchanging gifts this year. You know what a tough year it's been."

[raccoon]

77. I strongly second that emotion. If I were you, I wouldn't get him any gifts if you do go. nt

[BlueCaliDem]

81. ^^This^^^

This is exactly what I had to do with stingy family members when I lived in Holland who told me that Christmas was a much too commercial holiday and they're not participating in gift exchange.

I'd drop by, have some hot cocoa, get a stale cookie, do a little small talk, and in less than an hour, I'm out the door.

They damn well knew why, too.

I had a sister-in-law who consistently never bought gifts - even cheap ones - for my three young children. There was always this "noble" excuse of not wanting to participate in "the commercial aspect" of birthdays, Sinterklaas, and Christmas.

Her birthday is one day after my oldest son's. So when she came to my home at 11 at night and demanded to see her nephew (good thing his birthday was on a Friday!) and my husband didn't have the balls to tell her that her 9-year-old nephew is fast asleep, I got upset enough to come to her house the next day, on her birthday, empty-handed. What did she do? The moment I walked through the door, she looked at my hands first and foremost - and with this expectant look, too. The unmitigated gall. What did I do? I gave her this smile and said, "I want to honor your opinion of not supporting the commercial aspect of holidays and birthdays, just as you didn't last night."

Needless to say, we haven't spoken since and we don't like each other. Not. One. Bit. And I'm fine with that.

[avebury]

73. I am in total agreement with California Peggy.

However, in the spirit of Christmas you could give him a gift. You might consider making a donation in his name to any one of a number of worthwhile groups that supports progessive issues.

[CanonRay]

85. Good idea. Give to a battered women's shelter in his name

that ought to piss him off and do some good at the same time.

[librechik]

78. I concur, and have done it.

that wound was never settled, although they did coax me back to family events after a few years. They actually discovered my contribution was worthwhile! And changed some themselves.

I have never regretted those years apart. Helped me grow up.

[SummerSnow]

2. Go and enjoy other family members company. Weather permitting. Don't allow him to spoil it.

If he starts to whine about politics etc and try to draw you in a convo. Tell him this is the season not to discuss politics, but to just enjoy the holiday and family.

[BainsBane]

3. I have one family member I really dislike and don't like to give a present to

So I end up giving a gift for the entire family so I don't have to give him one individually.

Don't let him ruin your Christmas. Just because he expects presents doesn't mean you need to give them. Do exactly what you want. If you feel compelled to give a gift, make it something very inexpensive and simple. Don't let that stop you from giving what you want to other family members. You have no responsibility to be equitable with someone so clearly unconcerned with others.

BTW, this guy sounds familiar. Do I know him?

[TheMastersNemesis]

4. I Would Do A Number Of Things.

One is not go and waste my time. I would send a message calling him out for the racist, bigoted, selfish douche bag he and his family are and will not see them again until they change their politics.

Two is I would not buy him or his family anything and would make it very unpleasant for him calling bigot, racist or what ever else I could say to him. I would be in his face every chance I got.

Of course that is me. I have not significant family left except cousins. But I am different because I would even disown a son or daughter who was so crass and would leave all my wealth to charity or my dog.

I have no patience with such people. In the real world I would leave this asshole out in the desert without water to see how well he can take care of himself. I will no longer tolerate such hate and cruelty without returning it fourfold.

[gollygee]

5. This is what I'd like to do, honestly

I haven't only out of fear from the matriarch of the family.

[JHB]

12. Any chance the matriarch can be persuaded to tell him to cut the crap and...

...and shut his yap? If he's the one constantly releasing ripe ones (opinions, that is) then he's the one spoiling things. Even if nobody else in the family agrees with you, they might agree that he's the one poking the hornets nest.

[gollygee]

14. I should call her and see how she feels

She's getting old and doesn't like the fighting at this point. But I'm afraid I'd end up looking like the bad guy if I didn't show. She's a 2nd wave feminist type though. It's worth a call, but I'm totally depleted at this point, and I don't know how late she stays up since the patriarch passed away, so I'll try tomorrow.

[leftynyc]

67. You fear her?

Why? If she agrees with his odious views, why are you spending any time with these people (even if you are related)?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I'd be inclined to stay home. Send him a card or maybe a fruitcake

and have a nice relaxing holiday among people you actually enjoy spending time with. Life's too short to spend a single minute with an asshole who makes you crazy.

Winter weather in the midwest can be very dicey, and with any luck can provide a perfect excuse. Or, you can just say, "Thanks for the invitation but we've decided to stay home this year." No explanation required.

[BainsBane]

16. A fruitcake is perfect

They are awful.

[brewens]

54. A fruitcake and nuts. n/t

[dem in texas]

7. I am the only liberal in a family of right wingers

I always go the Christmas get-togethers. They are still my family after all and many of them, I only see at this time. I only take gifts for the children and give each of families of adults a tin of home cookies. They laughingly call me the crazy one, but I think I am the only sane one in the bunch, the others are tea bagger or country club bigots. If I can go to my family gathering, so can you. Just avoid talking religion or politics.

[JoePhilly]

8. Tell him you made a donation to the food bank in his name.

So that people who could not afford Christmas gifts would at least have some food.

Then ask which ball game is on TV, and then watch sports as much as possible.

[BainsBane]

20. Awesome!

Fantastic suggestion about the food bank!

[cherokeeprogressive]

47. Or you could pull a George Costanza and tell him you donated to The Human Fund (Money for People) in

his name.

[mercuryblues]

10. give him

the Sarah Palin coloring book.

[gollygee]

11. I should give him that Ted Cruz one I saw posted about in GD

He thinks Sarah Palin is misunderstood, underestimated, and maligned, but he doesn't think she's a genius the way he thinks Ted Cruz is a genius.

[JHB]

18. Give him a black helicopter

Might be a little steep for a joke depending on the price you can get it for.
Wonder if he'd 'get it'.

[Electric Monk]

19. or just print out a couple of pages for him

http://www.coloringbook.com/ted-cruz-coloring-book.aspx

[gollygee]

25. Wow

Millions of Americans think Obama Care is worse than any war? Those millions of Americans know jack shit about war.

Definitely print before giving money to whoever wrote that.

[mercuryblues]

24. Both

the palin one is satire.

If you give him the cruz one, make up a box of only white crayons to go with it.

If you give him both, you can use the excuse that they were near each other and did not know Palin's was satire. Can you pull off an innocent look?

[phylny]

13. Go only if there are other relatives that you want to see.

With regard to presents, if you get anything at all (and you do not have to give gifts to anyone, of course) I'd give a donation in his name to the local food bank or Smile Train, or another deserving charity.

"Since we weren't exchanging this year...."

[struggle4progress]

15. Give him something small for Christmas: a package of figs, say. Develop a sudden enthusiasm

for some obscure subject, like odd facts from family history ("Did you know Great-Grand-Uncle Joe married a thirteen year old?&quot or colonial recipes ("Nobody seems to know how to make a good bread pudding anymore!&quot or vanished countries ("Lately I've been trying to learn everything I can about the Axumite Empire&quot and insist on discussing that whenever he brings up politics

[OffWithTheirHeads]

17. Fuck em. Don't go, and let everyone know why.

I have made it clear to all family and friends that if they invite me to any event and also invite teabags, I WILL NOT put up with their bullshit and they can expect me to call the baggers out and the discussion will be VOCIFEROUS! I'm done keeping my mouth shut!

My teabag stepson and his left behind, Jesus freak wife were supposed to visit us for x-mas. Last week he emailed us some white supremacist bullshit and I called him an ignorant racist. Looks like they won't be coming to my winter solstice celebration. Boo, fucking hoo! Best news all year.

To quote our President "ENOUGH!"

I know my wife wants to see him and she loves him cause he is her son. I will gladly buy her a plane ticket but I'm thrilled that he won't be here to ruin winter solstice for me with his ignorant, racist, bullshit.

[lunasun]

32. +1 That is the way to go !! & peaceful times @ the holidays for you

There is no way they can go a whole evening without interjecting their propaganda into conversation at inappropriate times

[OffWithTheirHeads]

34. Not at my house. I'm done with polite!

[liberal N proud]

21. Many of us have tea baggers in our families.

[gollygee]

22. I wonder how they complain about us?

"She thinks people have a right to not starve to death! And not die of preventable diseases! Can you believe it?"

[Iggo]

70. They say we want to force them to pay for lazy people.

You've heard it.

I'm with the others on this: Don't go, and definitely tell them why.

[Atman]

23. You're lucky. I am the only family member who is NOT a Tea Bagger.

Okay, not true...my wife is the other "liberal puke" of the family. We just got back from ten days in Florida...my wife's whole family are Southern Baptists. One of them works for Florida Blue, the Florida version of Blue Cross Blue Shield. He tried to engage me in a fight about the ACA. I wouldn't do it. My family, every one of them, are RW and/or Tea Baggers. My own brother and sister live in New Hampshire and both hate everything about Obama, starting with his skin color (there are about twelve black people in New Hampshire). The Southern Baptists in Florida are not better.

it's always fun traveling to Florida from Connecticut for the holidays.

Not.

[gollygee]

27. Oh wow.

In my family, it's mainly him. But while we're mainly Democrats, most of the rest of the Democrats are "Reagan Democrat" types and don't make waves.

I can't imagine being with a bunch of people like that.

[Atman]

35. We kept the peace at Thankgiving.

My wife's dad tried to start it up, but I didn't play. I was surprised that her sister and BIL didn't get into it, but then again...not really. They're actually pretty cool about it. They've told us before that they know we aren't "of their kind," and therefore they don't try to preach to us. Unusual. The rest of the family is pretty you (by my standards, early 50's), so they don't give us my crap. But the one BC/BS sales rep wanted to jump all over the Obamacare thing. We listened, we countered, then we went and ate pumpkin pie.

[Atman]

69. The upside...

My nephew-in-law, the Florida Blue rep, is very intelligent and well spoken, and we were able to have a very good discussion without raised voices or vitriol. Not that I didn't have the urge to holler!

He is in sales for BC/BS, which has a captive market in Florida...one of his "complaints" is that there is no competition in the Florida exchange, so health insurance is expensive. Huh? Wouldn't that be a GOOD thing if you're in sales for BC/BS? No...his bizarro-world sales pitch is that he tells young people NOT to sign up for "Obamacare" because it can't sustain itself because not enough young people are signing up. Huh? Again, at least he knows what he hates, and he can speak in complete sentences...even if they're lame sentences.

[Mopar151]

57. Baggers are liked about as well in NH as anywhere else

Before they were teabaggers, they were Birchers, Loeb acolytes, supply side sycophants, and the half-in-the-bag moron at town meeting.

[Submariner]

26. Have a beer, then give him Sarah Palin toilet paper for a present

then sit back and watch him blow a few blood vessels during the course of Xmas day.

http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Toilet-Paper-Sarah-Palin/dp/B004X7B71C/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1386638778&sr=8-11&keywords=palin+books

[lunasun]

28. Did you just get strep throat and could infect everyone??/ I think you will on what ever day you

need to head out oh yes & you can't go anywhere can you??? Didn't that doctor tell you bed rest and tea ??

Let them know you are having tea like a true patriot on Xmas and everyone can feel sorry for you being sick and staying back home.
ENJOY your holidays not endure them

If you must go, they do sell at truck stops you will encounter along the way these little lumps of coal in a red bag ,,,,,that say 'you've been naughty'... ...laugh real loud when they open that and nothing else.
If they are pissed ask why they can't take a joke and tell them you hope they aren't getting sensitive and liberal expecting hand outs !!!
Then laugh again
ho ho ho
really- just stay home imo

[AuntFester]

29. You can confront him and wind up as an episode of Cops, or you can avoid talking

Politics and when he does, ignore it.

One thing is certain. You won't change his mind and he won't change yours. On the other hand, if he's a reasonable, rational person, discuss things. Like football.

[Cerridwen]

30. Until you mentioned Indiana, I thought we might be related.

I have 3 uncles like that. The fourth may be as well but he's quiet and keeps to himself.

I've been "estranged" from my family for years. Only had contact with them during 2009-2010 while I was trying to help my mom, their only sister.

She didn't much care for them either though she loved them. Long ugly history there.

Anyway, one uncle moved to Alabama to "get away from all those damned libruls!" He and his wife use the Catholic Church to climb the social ladder and to prove their moral superiority.

Another uncle listens to glen beck and pretends his oldest son died from pneumonia rather than AIDs and hasn't spoken to another of his sons, also gay, because...well, he's gay.

The 3rd uncle was the baby of the family and is mostly innocuous but there's always an undercurrent of hostility toward "others."

You can imagine how well I do with them given my feminist activism and coming from my family of "union thugs;" including their only sister.

I deal with my family by having nothing to do with them since mom's funeral. She was my only reason to tolerate them. She's gone now. I no longer have to be Sis' "good little daughter."

I have no advice for you. I just wanted you to know you're not alone and this is what has worked for me.

I wish you all the best and a peaceful, healthy, and sane holiday season whatever you decide.

[babylonsister]

31. I think you should go with the skip-its option.

Why ruin your holiday? You're entitled to a nice one also.

Ain't family grand?!

[beveeheart]

33. Just stay where you are

and celebrate with others in your area. Not worth the anguish, anger, frustration, biting your tongue off!

[bluestate10]

36. Why would you travel to spend time with a clown like that. Use the money card on that

relative and others that support him. Save money and really enjoy Christmas, stay home. Your spouse is likely ok with staying in a hotel because he or she can't stand being around your Indiana relatives. Talk it over with your spouse and do what that person thinks is best.

[Gormy Cuss]

37. Assuming that you want to be there to spend time with other family members,

here's how I handle it with the one in my family. When the Tea Bag starts one of his rants, I ignore him. Sometimes that means I leave the room, sometimes it just means I turn my head and strike up a conversation with someone else. I can't change his gauche behavior (and it is gauche to talk politics when you know the hosts don't agree with you, but this clod rants away every time.)

As for the gifts, I like the idea of donating to a food bank in his name or giving a small token gift (with the whispered aside that you knew they couldn't afford to exchange gifts and didn't want to make them uncomfortable by giving them gifts of substance.)

IOW, if you can pull it off, don't let this family member ruin your holiday gathering. Traveling to Indiana should be because you're looking forward to seeing the OTHER people there. BTW, the hotel is a great idea. Guaranteed time away from the blowhard.

[bluestate10]

40. I like the fruitcake as a gift idea, a cheap fruitcake. nt

[rurallib]

38. My life is not long enough to waste any time with folks like that

Don't go. If anyone asks why, tell them the truth.

[Swede Atlanta]

39. He is beyond hope....

these individuals are so ingrained with their beliefs they are beyond recovery.

I would avoid him because engaging with him will just cause you more pain.

[TBF]

41. I give you permission to stay home -

I maybe visit every five years or so (my family is cross-country). A bunch of them are Republicans who are lucky if they are making minimum wage. FOX news does not help ...

There is no reason to ruin your holiday and I certainly wouldn't buy him a gift. Give something to charity in his name - that will fix him.

[dhill926]

42. Stay home....

Drink good wine. Eat good food. Fuck 'em.

[joeunderdog]

43. Buy the family Obama t-shirts.

Or get them healthcare or something silly like that.

[valerief]

44. Show him MAJOR concern. Pull him aside and tell him you know something is troubling him,

that something is eating away at him. When he externalizes the problem (Obama! Benghazi! Guns!), interrupt and tell him you know it's something personal, something that's been troubling him for years, something he needs to share with someone. Tell him you understand and try to get him to share with you. "Life is short, and pride can kill you like cancer. Don't let pride get in the way. I won't judge. Truly. Tell me. Let it out. It's killing me to see you suffer inside."

Then when he tells you about his (fill in the blank) fetish, laugh your ass off and tell everyone else.

[diane in sf]

45. Cancel the hotel and call in sick.

[freshwest]

46. I predict you will have a sudden emergency that needs to be kept care of and can't travel to Indiana

and figure out all the angles to make it plausible. Unless you really need to see someone.

In the meantime, since he can afford a new car, remember it's on credit, so he may still be under water financially.

A list scanned from the internet of soup kitchens or government assistance or even a list of churches he doesn't like who give out food and gift boxes for the needy, would be of great assistance to him.

Other than that, I would come down with appendicitus, a stomach ulcer, diarrhea, flu, a leaky roof or a blown engine or bad brakes to keep from driving.

I have not had to get so creative with people, but he sounds as if he is living on the moon, or is spending his money gambling or on drugs.

The danger of not giving in the extortion - because is what he is doing, shamelessly - is he will cry foul and turn gullible family members against you. Perhaps he could come and help you out in your life as you are going to suddenly come down pitiful like he is.

And he is pitiful, and will be rearing a mob of brats, likely, materialistic, bigoted and quite selfish. He's not the only the one in this world who has a hard time.

Time for him to buck up.

I don't know if that's any help at all. I have a bagger relative, but they are not as cold a fish as this guy. It's like you have a mental serial killer in the family and he'd just as soon piss on you as look at you.

Any help, any encouragement there? I just send a card to my bagger relation, and never do I expect a damn thing, no so much as a call, a card, or any thing in he world. It's a one way street with some people.

I suspect he'll never change.

[Motown_Johnny]

48. First, talk to the person whose house you are expected to stay at

and see what he/she/they think of you skipping Christmas.

Second, consider a nearby hotel (if that is an option).


If you feel you must buy a gift, make it something like a donation in his name to a worthy cause. Hopefully something both of you could agree on. Or see if your other family members feel the same way and just don't exchange presents this year. Maybe a very small dollar amount limit would work so that you could still exchange token gifts and the guy does not just load up on the generosity of others.


If worst comes to worst then use the same excuse he did. Say that you just don't have the money this year. These judgement calls are relative so it isn't really a lie.


Mostly just relax. If things are out of your control then fighting it isn't going to do you any good. A few weeks from now it will all just be a fading memory. Don't let it get blown out of proportion.

[sakabatou]

49. Just tell him politics and other hot topics aren't allowed to be discussed

That may help.

[Sissyk]

50. How do you feel about the rest of your family?

I think that is what's important. Do you want to see them and spend the holidays with them?

I have several republicans in my family. I don't think any of them are teabaggers though. We make a point that we don't discuss politics when we are all together for the holidays. We have a wonderful and joyous time just being together.

I like the idea of donating to a food bank in his name if you decide to go. But, if you love and enjoy the rest of the family don't let one person keep you away. Maybe just walk away, or. Voice your objection to discussing politics on this occasion.

[elleng]

51. Permission granted.

C'mon over here, gollygee!!!

[Change has come]

52. Skip

As fast as you can! RUN

[treestar]

53. For his gift, get him a book by Al Franken

Or one of Obama's books!

[pandr32]

55. OMG it sounds like 'Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation'

...complete with the Griswald nut-bar cousin Eddie--played perfectly by Randy Quaid (who must of got it right because he wasn't really acting!).
Everyone put up with him in the movie for the sake of his wife and kids even though he was a complete mooch and an imbecile.
Most people have somebody in the family that is hard to stomach, and one way of looking at it is that it is an opportunity to grow--you, not him, because his kind is resistant to change and facts.
I would go with a book--something like 'Moral Minority: Our Skeptical Founding Fathers' by Brooke Allen. It sounds like something he would think was up his alley, but it really discusses how our Founding Fathers were guided by reason, and not religion, and had very liberal values and goals for the U.S.A.
There are lots of books that might do the trick. Give the gift graciously and hope he has the sense to read it when he gets home

[hrmjustin]

56. We just tell the Republicans in my family not to talk.

[frogmarch]

58. If I were in your shoes, I'd stay home

and enjoy Christmas with someone I love.

[roody]

60. Reclaim your holiday! Do what YOU want.

Life is too precious to spend doing things you don't want to do! My dad became a teabagger in his very elder years. He is 94. He tries to start something all the time and everybody just says uh huh. No one will engage him in political talk.

[Rincewind]

61. For his christmas gift,

donate money to a food bank in his name. For his wife's gift, donate to a women's shelter in her name.

[libodem]

62. Don't Go

Save yourself.

[rufus dog]

63. Can you take him shopping?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024155578

Long shot, but hey what the hell!

[SheilaT]

64. Let me make sure I understand this correctly.

He's not buying any presents for others, but expects those same others to buy him gifts?

Why don't you come visit me in Santa Fe. I will be working on Christmas day (9a to 8p on the information desk at the hospital) but I'm planning on baking a turkey breast the Sunday before so there will be turkey sandwiches. You can sit with me on the desk and we can amuse each other with family stories.

If coming to Santa Fe won't work, do not under any circumstances put up with this bullshit. Do what you want to do for yourself on that day.

[Drew Richards]

65. Well there is only one thing to do.

Ship a fruitcake to the gathering with a lovely card that says.

Since it's the holidays and in the spirit of giving...

I have given donations in your name to the United Negro College Fund and Planned Parenthood.

Happy Holidays!

[leftynyc]

66. Give him a present

of a donation to a cause (in his name) that will make his head explode (a shelter for women of domestic violence would probably do).

[a la izquierda]

68. I do...

My husband's sister in law. Thank god they live far away and when their kid graduates, I will blessedly be on the other side of the planet. My husband can go to the graduation, but it will be far, far away.

[99Forever]

71. I'd make a donation to Bernie Sanders next campaign in the creep's name..

... and happily announce in front of the entire family.

[Raine]

72. After reading her Facebook page I recently discovered my cousin is also

a teabagger. It makes me sick because she has was there for me when my father was sick and died and is one of the few in my extended family I really get along with. The family has never discussed politics at family gatherings so I guess I will just act like I don't know she is such political moron!

[avebury]

74. Permission granted to stay home.

However I would recommend making donations on behalf of each of the members of his family to several worth while groups who benefit the poor (food banks, homeless shelters, etc.) , women (Planned Parenthood, battered women, etc.), minorities, gay/lesbians, or any of a number of other progressive causes. Each of the family members would receive a Christmas card that indicates that a donation of $___ was made to ____________ in his/her name in recognition of the fact that there are so many in the world who are suffering (or something along the lines of that).


The idiot and his family get their Christmas presents, you get to make you point and worthy causes benefit. It is a win win scenario.

[IdaBriggs]

75. Ooh! Buy him a book or movie by Michael Moore.

Or any other commie liberal pinko (blah, blah, blah).

You can TOTALLY have some fun with this. His kids would get a movie about how unions came to be, and his wife would get a gift about how to divorce someone inexpensively, and....

I would *so* be having fun with this! A gleefully fun time (bring a video camera), and regular updates about how people in his situation are all losers, and maybe he should start trying to pull himself up by his bootstraps and stuff.

Quit being a victim - BE AGGRESSIVE and KICK HIM WHEN HE'S DOWN.

Its a war, after all - he's explained it to you, right?

[Myrina]

76. Christmas is a lovely time for a getaway

... I'd find a reason to spend the holiday elsewhere.

[mountain grammy]

79. My husband, his 86 year old aunt and I are the only liberals in his family...

I love my in laws, but we do not talk politics. The last time my brother in law said "Obama's a Muslim" in our presence, I just laughed and said "that's ridiculous" and we moved on. My in laws are fox watching fundamentalists who constantly pray for our poor, unsaved souls. We see them once, maybe twice a year and we stay away from politics.

[Ikonoklast]

80. You already know what to do.

You cannot pick your relatives, but you can certainly pick who you want to spend the holidays with.


Or send that cretin to my parent's place for Christmas, a house full of people that think Republicans are nothing but racist ignorant idiots and can prove it on paper will make his selfish libertarian ass cry.

[BlueToTheBone]

82. I am but a chorus line

STAY HOME!!!! Enjoy the holidays in the warmth of your home with your loved ones. Life is too short to spend it with someone who will only upset you. Sure, say work keeps you...

Paul Simon said it best...there are 50 ways to leave, feel free to use any of them.

[ladyVet]

83. If you feel you must go, because of other family members, then go.

I wouldn't buy him a gift, nor his wife, but if they have small children they would get gifts. If you feel you must get him something, as suggested, a donation to a worthy cause would do.

I don't get grown people expecting everyone in the family to buy them gifts anyway. My ex's family does this, just silly, cheap stuff. Waste of money, when so many are in need. My family decided a long time ago to only give gifts to young children -- mostly my sons, the 'rent's only grandchildren, and they're grown now.

Two of my sisters have step families, but the rest of us don't give them gifts. My mother gets something for the daughter of one of my other sister's friends, who is a sweetie and calls my folks grandma and grandpa. Too cute (and she knows it).

If you go, and this fool starts yakking, turn the subject to something neutral, or just stare at him until he runs down. I'm lucky in that most of my close family (parents and siblings) has similar beliefs, but we still don't talk politics or religion at family get-togethers.

Good luck, and have a wonderful holiday, whatever you decide!

[Sylvarose]

84. Being a fellow Hoosier...

..I understand your pain and dilemma. I still live in the state, however, I live in one of the most liberal areas. I grew up in one of reddest parts. Thankfully my father thinks and over the years has been brought around and not only voted for Obama but voted for Kerry. Still, my late mother's family is solid tea baggers. I hardly have any interactions with them. My brother sees them every Christmas.

It's very difficult for me. I've found that life is too short to be unhappy and to spend the holidays sitting in the corner biting my lip. So while my brother goes off and visits my late mother's family, I've reconnected with a long lost cousin on my Dad's side. Even though she never left our home town we see eye to eye politically on a lot of subjects.

I bring her a tin of cookies, she puts on a pot of coffee and we spend a few hours catching up on what's been happening with each other for the last year and if anything political comes up I don't really worry it's going to get ugly.

I know it's hard. Sometimes I feel really guilty about not seeing my mother's family more. Yet, then I think of the hard feelings, the fighting and the anxiety from the past. For me it's much better to do without all of that.

[hwmnbn]

86. Stay away is the only way....

to keep some semblance of sanity.

His thinking seems too far gone to be salvageable.

Don't buy him a present either.

After trying to coexist with several wingnut members of my family, I finally cut them out. Life is too short.