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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWe just sent over 4 sacks of food to my grandson's father...
He lost his job a couple of months ago and he can't get unemployment. We knew money was tight, but then I got a call that he was completely out of food at the house. Neither him nor my grandson had any food in the house.
I was dumbfounded. I asked if he had went to DHS to apply for food stamps and other help until he got a job. I was told that he views food stamps and other assistance as being for lazy people and drug addicts.
That effing douche was willing to let my grandchild go without because of his RW nuttery! He is very RW and hates Obama with a passion....it's the Ted Nugent kind of hate, too. Blech!
Anyway, my daughter took the food over to them and I instructed her to make sure he gets to DHS. He doesn't want me to step into this. She understood my meaning and when she came back she got his promise that he will go first thing Monday morning. She's taking him herself.
ClarkeVII
(89 posts)Poor republicans are sad sad folks that are out of touch with reality
catrose
(5,071 posts)He was too "proud" to go on food stamps and other assistance and be a bum. He'd live by what he made as a fiction writer or not at all. And he found girlfriends to support him.
Too pround for food stamps but not to proud for...
As you say...
I'm glad you took care of your grandchild...now and Monday.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)Because all can 'fall down' for a while and need some help. What's even more amazing is those who I've known who got benefits - but still don't want others to get the same.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]He lost his job more than 2 years ago. He screwed up his unemployment paperwork somehow and they cut him off, and he never went back to re-do the paperwork. He refuses to accept food stamps. He has no health insurance, even though he's fully qualified for Medi-Cal, and he pays $40+ per visit to go to a local community clinic.
He's been living off his 401K, which lost more than half its value in the crash and is now down to a few thousand dollars. He says he won't take "charity" and wants to work, but he can't find a job despite constant efforts because of his age and some obviously worsened disabilities. He's in pain all the time and has no income whatsoever. He's also suffering from depression at this point.
I've been trying to get him to at least sign up for Medi-Cal and have his clinic doctor initiate the paperwork for disability, but you'd think I was trying to make him walk across a bed of hot coals. I've been trying to get him to see that disability benefits are an insurance payout, something he's been paying into for the last 40 years, but it's a tough sell.
He's only a few months away from being unable to make his mortgage payments and then he'll be homeless on top of everything else. All because of pride. All because of being raised by RWNJs who taught him that anyone who takes "charity" or "government handouts" is a bum, a slacker, and a nobody.
cynatnite
(31,011 posts)I don't know why some people like my grandson's father or your friend keep thinking this way. It's hurting them so much.
It really breaks my heart.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]At least in my friend's case, he doesn't have wife or children to be responsible for, but the brainwashing that needs to be overcome is formidable.
No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)some printed explanations of the various programs he's eligible for and leave them with him, to read over at his own convenience.
If necessary, you could get or leave him with information for one program at a time, so he could digest that, without feeling too pushed.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I have emailed him links with information and phone numbers to call multiple times. I've digested the information for him and put it into simpler format. He keeps saying he'll call or go to a local office, but then he always has another excuse why he didn't.
He seems to feel overwhelmed by anything that requires any mental effort at all and is completely befuddled by even minimal paperwork. He just wants things to go back to the way they were before, when he had a good job with benefits, and when he could move around and climb a ladder without crippling pain. Inability to accept his changed situation is a major part of the difficulty here.
I've been talking to him by phone frequently and trying to nudge this process along for months now, but seem to be getting nowhere. Short of traveling a few hundred miles to personally escort him to the appropriate appointments, I don't know what else to do. Thinking of calling Adult Protective Services to see what's required to get them or some other agency to send a case worker out to evaluate and help him through the process. He really does need a keeper, but it can't be me.
Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)When they hit hard times but refused to seek help, I reminded them that they had paid fully into the system when they were working, and now was time to take a bit back out, same as social security, and there was no shame in it. I think it made at least one person feel better for taking public assistance.
silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I asked if he'd refuse an insurance check if someone totaled his truck after he'd been paying the insurance premium for years. He grasped that concept immediately, but he's still having trouble making the conceptual transition from truck to his health and livelihood.
ellie
(6,929 posts)What the hell? I went through this with a boyfriend. He didn't want to work but was too proud for assistance. Such a smart, smart guy.
rocktivity
(44,577 posts)Damn right he'd better get his ass over to DHS...or else.
rocktivity
Cha
(297,503 posts)stating the obvious here, A Freaking Epidemic!
Good on YOu.. that hits Home.. your grandson for crying out LOUD!
cynatnite
(31,011 posts)It kills me that he would let our grandson do without over his stupidity. I want to smack him in back of the head.
Cha
(297,503 posts)My ex-husband is a fox truther.. but our two grown children know it for the "Bullshit Mountain" that it is.
But, just to think that someone who is very smart in some areas is so stupid in others. Made more so by brainwashing. He has plenty of money though.. that's probably the reason he bought into it. The "I got mine" syndrome. He's regurgitated "facts " to my son.. and finally they decided "no more political discussions".
So my son and I talk about it all the time.
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)of people who won't take welfare, or food stamps, or unemployment, or whatever. They're idiots. Those things are there for a reason.
I am not a conventionally religious person, but I profoundly believe that we are here to help each other.
Is it possible for grandson to come live with you?
And you are a very good person just to bring sacks of food to them.
irisblue
(33,018 posts)I didn't see an age, and does mush for brains have legal custody?
cynatnite
(31,011 posts)There have been complicated issues on why he has custody. No one is happy about it, but that's something we can't change.
Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)sort of, shall we say, blackmail him into going to the assistance office and signing up? Maybe if he knew a call to the children and youth office would be made if he continued to let the child go hungry would get him off his ass?
msanthrope
(37,549 posts)make sure you document this incident, especially if there is a custody battle going on.
quakerboy
(13,920 posts)But my first instinct is that I wouldn't. If he doesn't want help, he doesn't want help.
If he wants to refuse government assistance for himself, so be it.
But if someone is refusing to feed a child when they have the ability, that's time to call CPS. My wife went without food when she was a kid, because she had no one to stand up for her. She still has the visible lines on her teeth from the nourishment issues. I'm sure it has had other long term health effects as well. That, to my way of thinking, is child abuse.
indepat
(20,899 posts)panader0
(25,816 posts)In my 42 years of construction work, I have never sought work. Work sought me. I got calls, referrals, etc.
The Unemployment people want me to actively apply to four employers per week. In my small town, it wouldn't take too long to cover all the bases. Besides the criminal aspect of lying, there is the fact that I Hate Lying.
Luckily, I started SS and get side work, which I report at tax time, everything paid off.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)As he's an adult, I'm all for him believing whatever the hell he wants. No matter how ignorant.
But when there's a child involved, that ends. Kids can't fend for themselves, and it's his responsibility to see that his son is fed, clothed and housed appropriately.
If necessary, someone needs to step in and get the authorities to set him on the right track, so his child is okay.