General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy precious doggie passed today.
She was over 16 years old and in very poor health, so this was not a surprise. Still, the emotional loss my husband and I feel is overwhelming. We came home from dinner tonight and I picked her up to change her diaper (yeah she was that far gone). Anyway, all of a sudden she started to seizure, turned over and started gasping for breath. I kept my hand on her heart because I feared the worst. Then the heart beat stopped. I am grateful that she was surrounded by those who loved her and that she died at home but it is still so raw. I loved her so much.
rustydog
(9,186 posts)it still hurts. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,749 posts)Losing an animal friend is so hard.
TDale313
(7,820 posts)shedevil69taz
(512 posts)polly7
(20,582 posts)MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)Whisp
(24,096 posts)so sorry.
I cry with you. I have been there and will be there again one day.
They are so precious it just rips your heart apart to be without them.
defacto7
(13,485 posts)I love my dogs too.
Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)She was so lucky to have you there with her in her final moments. Hard on you, but she was surrounded by loved ones.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)LisaLynne
(14,554 posts)Cleita
(75,480 posts)warrior1
(12,325 posts)stevil
(1,537 posts)You loved her. She loved you and your family. She was part of your family. RIP little girl.
greytdemocrat
(3,299 posts)It's always hard.
mahina
(17,669 posts)Been there too, and it's so hard. Send her love, out there. Wishing you well. aloha.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)mokawanis
(4,443 posts)it's so hard to lose a beloved pet. I'm glad she had a good home and lived a long time. Cherish the memories.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)I'm glad you were able to be there for her at the end. Thought are with you.
GP6971
(31,171 posts)One of the hardest things I had to do was put my springer down.....she was with us for 14 years and had cancer. No other choice......at least she was in my arms when she died. It took a while to recover, but you do.
liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)DesertFlower
(11,649 posts)pacalo
(24,721 posts)nradisic
(1,362 posts)So hard to swallow and deal with. Very painful. We waited 6 months and got a new puppy over the summer. The pain of losing such a dear friend, never go away, they just fade a little with time. Cherish the memories.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)This must have been very painful, but I am sure she was glad you were there for her at the end.
Sam
GreenPartyVoter
(72,378 posts)dballance
(5,756 posts)My baby is pushing 17. He's a rat terrier/beagle ( I think) mix given his coloring. He's in great health but starting to go blind. I hate watching him decline so I understand.
montanacowboy
(6,093 posts)from the moment we get them we dread when that day will come
my heart still beaks for mine who have been gone for 20 years; you never forget and never stop loving them
Stonepounder
(4,033 posts)Those of us who choose to take on a dog (or cat) to be part of our family know that the hardest thing about it is that they leave us all too soon. You were there at the end letting her know that everything was all right and that she was loved and cherished. I have always said that if humans have souls and there is some sort of existence after death, that our dogs will be there too; for they have much purer souls that we humans will ever have. And that being the case, when the time is right, you and she will be reunited. The loss is hard, and it will always be there, but it will lessen in time. You will be able to remember all the good times you had with her. Let the tears flow now and mourn her. But also know that she knew she was loved and cherished for all her life.
glinda
(14,807 posts)Hattie, died last month at the age of possibly 15-16. Hard to know because we rescued her in 2000 and she was a little over a year maybe. She died also in my arms. What I thought was a seizure was not but just an actual passing. She went very fast, just like yours did. And yes....I changed her pads as she become totally lame and incontinent at the end.
We are both fortunate to have that moment at home and that they pass at where they love the most. With whom they love the most.
Blessings.
KT2000
(20,584 posts)it does hurt so much - it is all about love with us and them.
niyad
(113,399 posts)beloved companions leaves such a huge hole in our worlds. I am so glad you were able to be there at the end, holding her close in love. I just lost my last kitteh two weeks ago, and my 18 year old kitteh a few months ago, and it still hurts.
All of us here on DU who are owned by our beloved companions know how you feel, and are here for you. may her crossing be gentle, and may your hearts find peace.
truedelphi
(32,324 posts)I think when a person or animal lives on and on, on some level there is an implied immortality.
It can be so very hard to give up some one you have been with for so long. It doesn't seem possible they suddenly are meeting the same fate others have met so much earlier.
onestepforward
(3,691 posts)Wishing you and your husband comfort.
Useless in FL
(329 posts)Moonriver, you have my sincerest sympathy. I know how hard it is to have lost a wonderful companion, a treasured member of your family It's so hard to lose a wonderful companion, but it happens, and you are lost. We all were there too when we lost our wonderful babies. Please, I know it is so soon, please consider adopting a sweet baby from your local animal shelter. Your next baby may be from a shelter who is protecting him or her for you! They are waiting for you..... they depend on you for their lives.
senseandsensibility
(17,067 posts)It's so difficult to lose a loved one. I hope you don't suffer too much, and I am glad that your beloved doggie was with you at the end.
countryjake
(8,554 posts)I've dealt with three tough losses this past year...a dear longtime friend, my old mother, and my sweet little brown tabby. My poor kitty was the first to go yet she is the one that I still find myself so sadly grieving. Time is said to heal all, but losing that closeness we share with our furry friends sometimes leaves such a void...they may be smaller creatures but the love they bring us is huge.
Sending on good vibes for you and your family, hugs and thoughts of strength and peace.
Blue Owl
(50,439 posts)A loving owner is all a dog asks for.
mike dub
(541 posts)From a fellow Dog lover
Lugnut
(9,791 posts)It's not easy to lose a furry family member.
Beacool
(30,250 posts)I know how much we all love our pets. It's sad that they have such short lives, comparatively speaking. It must have been terrible to see her die, but we should all be so lucky as to die in the arms of our loved ones. She's now at peace.
Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)on the loss of your beloved pet. For her to have lived that long is a testament to the wonderful care she received from your family over the years. Sounds as if you and your husband had an excellent hospice arrangement for her so that she was comfortable and at peace. You are both to be emulated by every pet owner.
northoftheborder
(7,572 posts)I totally empathize and understand your grief. Our pets are so much a part of our life, and emotional connections. It hurts....even when they are old and ill, it's very difficult to let go. She was likely waiting for you to come home and hold her one last time..... If it's right for you and your family, hopefully a new loved creature may come into your life to fill the void.
adirondacker
(2,921 posts)Blue_In_AK
(46,436 posts)That's exactly the way my old cat died a few months ago. There is some comfort in being with them at the end.
nolabear
(41,987 posts)I'm sorry you lost your girl. But I'm glad you had her and loved her, and held her at the end. Who can ask for more, really?
virgdem
(2,126 posts)I lived through the exact same experience with my Sammy cat almost two years ago, so I know exactly how you feel. It is devastating to lose a fur kid, but the immediacy of them dying at home hits hard. Sammy was the second kitty that died at home. I found Cleo dead in her room in 2003. I was truly devastated and it took me over a year to finally deal with my grief. Time does heal the wound though, so you will one day start to remember the great times with your dog and that will help you through your grief. I wish you peace in the coming days and weeks.
azurnoir
(45,850 posts)our fur babies become part of us and it's so hard to lose them she died knowing she was loved and in the warmth of your arms-may peace and healing be upon you
Tikki
(14,558 posts)They are amazing friends and their loss is profound
but the memories will carry you through the tough times.
Tikki
billh58
(6,635 posts)our family (both two-legged and four-legged) to you and your husband...
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)she had was from you. I have been there, done that. It will get better but not fast. Your baby only wanted to leave wrapped in your love. Don't worry. She is around you now. I know. I hear dog toenails on my wood floors sometimes. Take care and know you and yours are loved.
liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)Our dog died last month, and I still hear the toenails on the wood floor too.
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)This. Death isn't the end
loudsue
(14,087 posts)The Roux Comes First
(1,299 posts)I was surprised to find what a grievance it was when we lost our first dog a couple years ago. I can tear up even today. Alas, that dog's daughter is doddering around here, most faculties fritzed out yet somehow still working at it. She will need to be dealt with probably this year. Sigh.
These wonderful critters work their way into our hearts, partly cuz they bring such unquestioning affection (love?) all the time, despite all that might have just transpired.
I.e., they do not have most of the traits that at times can lead (at least me) to loathe some of our fellow spp. Score-keeping. Egomania. Revenge. Inability to learn and adapt.
You certainly deserve my sympathy.
democratisphere
(17,235 posts)I know the loss is extremely difficult but be comforted to know you will be reunited with her someday.
Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)Skittles
(153,169 posts)Grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you.....
I loved you so --
'twas Heaven here with you.
--by Ilsa Paschal Richardson
orleans
(34,061 posts)how wonderful you had each other.
i'm sure there are no words of true comfort now -- the comfort would be her and to have her back.
i went through this parting with my little furry girl seven months ago and i still grieve for her. i think saying goodbye for this lifetime is the hardest thing we do. when we love someone we never want to part with them. and although i believe i will see my baby again, and i feel she is still near (the scratching sound on the kitchen door frame, a bump against the couch when she'd rub her face along the bottom of it, and more), my heart is still broken.
i was with my girl at the end too.
how amazing it is that we (us and them) love so much.
my heart goes out to you.
malaise
(269,067 posts)vt_native
(484 posts)alsame
(7,784 posts)hard to say goodbye to out beloved pets. My beloved dog passed in 2012 and my heart still aches for her, I understand the grief you and your husband are feeling.
I want to share this writing with you - the veterinarian gave this to me when I picked up my dog's ashes. I hope it eventually brings you some healing and comfort.
The Fourth Day
by Martin Scot Kosins
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember.
The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter ... simply because something in its eyes reached your heart.
But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room - and when you feel it brush against you for the first time - it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet - and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you will feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness.
And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.
And on this day - if your friend has not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own - on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit.
But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you - you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night sky.
If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or human friends will be able to understand the depth of your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy filled years, you may find that a soul - a bit smaller in size than your own - seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.
And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg - very very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay, you will remember those three significant days.
The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.
But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when - along with the memory of your pet - and piercing through the heaviness in your heart, there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost.
This realization takes the form of a Living Love - like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow - and be there for us to remember.
It is a Love we have earned.
It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go - And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live.
It is a Love which is ours alone - And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets - It is a Love that we will always possess.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)nikto
(3,284 posts)MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)It really helped reading your kind words and knowing that there is so much love and caring here on DU. I do believe my baby, as well as other fur companions I have loved and lost, and I will be reunited in love someday. We plan to get a rescue dog at some point, but I'm not ready yet.
CanonRay
(14,105 posts)I know how hard that is. My girl is pushing 15 and so far in great health. We want her with us for a long time yet.
Gothmog
(145,345 posts)The breed normally live to 11 to 12 years. He is on a couple of prescription medications. It is only a matter of time
I am very sorry for your loss
longship
(40,416 posts)Glad to support this thread. My 15 year old cat died last winter.
I understand how it works.
backwoodsbob
(6,001 posts)They are like family but better.They give unconditional love just because they can.
Edit: For a long time I couldn't reply or even read these threads after I lost my beloved Budster.It's hard
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)You gave her a wonderful life, and how fortunate that she passed in your arms, knowing she was loved.
Peace and healing to you and the rest of her friends and family.
Are_grits_groceries
(17,111 posts)It never gets easier. As time passes the tears you shed will help more memories bloom. The utter despair will be replaced with an ache and a smile.
I wish it was not so difficult a path to trod.
Demonaut
(8,919 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)many hugs.
Greybnk48
(10,168 posts)How wonderful for her. I'm so sorry for the loss. I know how much it hurts.
GeorgeGist
(25,321 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)arthritisR_US
(7,288 posts)bittersweet she went wraped in loving arms.
tblue
(16,350 posts)I love doggies too. Bless you for being such a good doggie mommy. I wish I could do something. Take care.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)I have been there. Nobody, NOBODY, loves us like our dogs do.
lucca18
(1,243 posts)How lucky she was that you were all in her life, to give her so much love.
swilton
(5,069 posts)I know you have many wonderful memories....
May I recommend to all with deepest sympathy and sincerity The Rainbow Bridge for grief support
http://www.petloss.com/
Also I have this poem taken from German Shepherd Dog Review (c. 1930's)
The Little Dog Angel
By Norah M. Holland
High up in the courts of heaven today
A little dog angel waits.
With the other angels he will not play,
But he sits alone at the gates;
For I know that my master will come, says he,
And when he comes he will call for me,
And his master far on the earth below,
As he sits in his easy chair,
Forgets sometimes, and he whistles low
For the dog that is not there.
And the little dog angel cocks his ears,
And dreams that his masters call he hears.
And I know when at length his master waits
Outside in the dark and cold
For the hand of death to open the gates
That lead to the courts of gold
The little dog angels eager bark
Will comfort his soul in the shivering dark.
valerief
(53,235 posts)tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)I know it hurts. Having a wake to celebrate her life helped me recover quicker when my last best friend passed.
YarnAddict
(1,850 posts)to cross the Rainbow Bridge. She wanted the people she loved to be with her. Think of it as a gift.
We had to have our sweet Sammi put to sleep in November. She was way too young, but very, very sick, and in spite of the best efforts of multiple vets, we had to make that hard decision. I still feel an emptiness in my heart, and I don't know if I will ever not feel that way.
LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)Nightowl
(77 posts)Think of all the good times you had and all the love you shared. It hurts so to lose them but the time together is so infinitely valuable.
Sending comforting energy
spooky3
(34,460 posts)She loved you too.
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)we had to put our dog down 7 years ago, and it still makes me choke up.
I am glad your dog died at home, with you there.
tosh
(4,423 posts)Stuart G
(38,436 posts)classof56
(5,376 posts)When I finally accepted that my beloved Cammy-dog was near the end of her 13 years with me, I scheduled an appointment at the vet's to have her suffering ended. We carried her to the front lawn, one of her favorite places, and gently laid her down. It was a beautiful sunny day. She raised her head, looked around sniffing the fresh air, and then turned on her side and breathed her last. I've always thought that somehow she knew how difficult it would be for me to have her put down, and thus she spared me that awful experience. It has been almost 9 years, and I still cry when I think about her. She was my friend, faithful companion and source of unconditional love through thick and thin. Hard to express how much I loved her. May you be blessed by every memory of your precious doggie, and oh, endless tears are okay, too. I'm living proof of that.
Blessings and
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)I couldn't bare the idea of making the final decision. My baby did it for me in the best possible way.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)napkinz
(17,199 posts){{{{{MoonRiver}}}}}}
TheKentuckian
(25,026 posts)gademocrat7
(10,661 posts)GigiMommy
(5,039 posts)We lost our silly sweet Freckles (our Labradoodle) last August. it was heart breaking. Thankfully we were with her too. My heart goes out to you and your husband.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)May your memories of her in happier times bring you comfort and peace in your grief.
yellerpup
(12,253 posts)You came through for her and I know that if she saw you suffering she would be the first one to try to cheer you up. The sixteen years of the life you gave her is a reward for both of you. So sorry for your loss.
Liberal Jesus Freak
(1,451 posts)nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)sellitman
(11,607 posts)I'm on my third dog now and I understand exactly what you are feeling now. This one is a Black Lab who has become so woven into our family I dread the day.
LibertyLover
(4,788 posts)She had a wonderful life with you and knew that she was loved. Thank you for your loving care of her. Perhaps in awhile when you can you might open your home and hearts to another dog who needs love too, in her honor and memory.a
CFLDem
(2,083 posts)Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)kairos12
(12,862 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)I've lived through losing beloved furry babies
..it is soooooo hard. I'm so sorry
...
Grief really really sucks; cry. Cry hard and let the waves come
they'll subside with time. Get as much love and support as you can.
Grief is natural--reminding myself of that, that we all go through it, has always helped me a bit. But there's no denying, it is monstrously painful.
I've always found it helps to have or get another baby as soon as I can. Not expecting to love the new one like the previous, but needing to love again. The empty spot is just too much
..and I end up falling in love again.
G_j
(40,367 posts)for your loss.
Walk away
(9,494 posts)I'm sure that you know that she will always be in your heart.
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)Always remember that... and all the good times.
Justice
(7,188 posts)It is the little moments I miss so much.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)We're going through the same thing.
DesertDiamond
(1,616 posts)my doggie this past November. But it's really true that they leave their bodies but they don't leave us. Now she can be with you but not be in that old body that was falling apart. I hope you feel her presence! Hugs!
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)My husband did too, but in a different part of the house. We talked about it later and the "coincidence" was amazing. She is definitely our precious angel now!
DesertDiamond
(1,616 posts)She is happy too!! Enjoy the presence of your precious angel!
bkanderson76
(266 posts)have you as a companion. I feel your pain and offer my deepest sympathy.
cry baby
(6,682 posts)frogmarch
(12,154 posts)My heart goes out to you, MoonRiver. Nothing hurts more than losing a precious pet. You have my deepest sympathy.
DeSwiss
(27,137 posts)Liberalynn
(7,549 posts)NealK
(1,870 posts)WHEN CRABS ROAR
(3,813 posts)and we said, that there would be a good dog waiting for him, when he got to heaven.
Joe Shlabotnik
(5,604 posts)complain jane
(4,302 posts)That is never easy. My pets are my family and I'll be heartbroken when the time comes for each of them.