Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone
WASHINGTON—Taking his time to thoroughly clean a pair of replacement carburetors and install them on a turbocharged Rotax engine as classic rock tracks blared from a nearby transistor radio, sources confirmed that President Barack Obama spent most of Wednesday afternoon in the White House garage continuing his restoration of a vintage military drone.
Pausing every so often to admire his work, the president, dressed in jeans and a grease-stained Champion sweatshirt, explained that he has been tinkering with the 1995 RQ-1 Predator since acquiring it from a military scrapyard two years ago. The commander-in-chief said he considers the salvaged unmanned aerial vehicle a prized find, as the United States only produced 12 of the classic airframes for their inaugural deployment in the Bosnian War.
“Now this baby right here is 1,300 pounds of pure American muscle,” Obama said as he tossed a socket wrench aside and wiped the oil from his hands. “From the single rudder steering to the inverted V-tail at the back, it’s all classic General Atomics engineering. Real beaut, isn’t she?”
“I mean, look at this pretty little antenna dome,” he continued, buffing the drone’s satellite communication housing with a shammy cloth. “They just don’t make UAVs like this anymore.”
After popping the cap off of a fresh Rolling Rock, the 44th president of the United States explained that in an effort to maintain its mid-’90s authenticity, he is rebuilding the craft using mostly original RQ-1 parts ordered either directly from the manufacturer or traded with other collectors online. The head of state added that he has come to prefer the latter, saying that it provides him an opportunity to meet and talk shop with fellow “drone-heads.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-spends-afternoon-in-garage-restoring-classic,35505/
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I want to help... 
Vice President Biden ditched a day of presiding over the Senate to "give the twin cannons some sun."
"This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. "Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue]."
White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's "
You Can Still) Rock In America" blaring from his car's stereo. According to witnesses, Biden spent several minutes maneuvering the Trans Am into the perfect spot, and was observed drumming his fingers on the steering wheel until the song came to a close.