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EarlG

(21,972 posts)
Wed May 7, 2014, 02:50 PM May 2014

Heeeeeeeere's... Hatemail!

Well it's been a long time since the last DU Hate Mailbag, but since the bag is now overflowing with excreta it's time to empty it out and start all over again. Here are some of our favorites from the past... however many months it's been. Feel free to vote for yours in the poll at the bottom!

And of course, there is strong language ahead... you've been warned.



DOUCHEBAGS ARE A FEDERALLY-PROTECTED CLASS?

Subject: Inappropriate moderation

You suspended my account and I do not appreciate it. I broke no rules and did not say anything that was profane.

I suggest you put my post back up and reinstate my account if you do not want me to contact the LLC office directly and ask them to explain why you have censored the free speech of a member of a federally protected class.


THE DANGERS OF DRINKING GASOLINE

Subject: Why

Why in the hell was I revoked? Truth to much for you? The nude Cubs bear mascot shows what life has. The devil hates it. People should say Hi shirt or hi pants instead of the name of whoever. That is what people accept.


THIS ISN'T THE STREAMING VIDEO SERVICE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

Subject: (no subject)

I am considering getting the Netflix account. I've been told you have the season 5B of Breaking Bad, supposedly starting today, the 29th as you have stated several times. I look under another account and see you don't have this.. Is this par for the course? Aren't you keeping your word ? I'm in a very large corporate atmosphere and several would enjoy this service, but not if you can't keep your end of the bast gain. What can you say to me about this? It makes me a little angry to have you mislead not just me , but many of us. I'll wait for your reply if you're good enough to respond.


JUST MAKE SURE YOU SPELL THE URL CORRECTLY

Subject: Lack of response

Since you have chosen to not respond, you have given reason to trash you on other sites.

Have a nice day..............


AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DROPOUT WRITES

Subject: I know...

I hundreds of Democrate idiot's. The Democratic underground is one.


FUCK THAT

Subject: F bomb!?

I support your right to puke out your liberal jibrish, but could you please refrain from using the F word to title your stories. The proper question to ask is this: Does the Democratic underground know how crude they are?


WAIT... WHAT?

Subject: (no subject)

What a gaggle of gestapo GARBAGE!!!

Piss on your echo chamber of Constitution hating, freedom hating, communist bits of rancid tallow.

There isn't a single freedom loving, open minded, real human being in the entire staff of your dungheap underground.

You would have gladly assassinated Martin Luther King if you had the chance!


PRO TIP: IF YOU'RE SENDING HATE MAIL, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD "COCK"

Subject: you

suck c-ck


THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON FOX NEWS

Subject: Rejection

Yes sinner oops skinner sounds like a racial name to me. I was rejected from your site of liberal assholes for not talking like this but expressing my opinions about a subject, which must had offended one of your little fairy skippers. I love guns, I love my country, and defending it, i believe in the death penalty, and i hunt animals when they become legal to hunt for food. I believe the Republicans have to go and if Rommeny could run again i would vote for him again. I also believe that MSNBC started this whole mess about race and i believe Our Fearless leader has no business meddling in the issue. Now you all i believe you think you all are so high and mighty that you can play GOD and oh i am afraid to say it so afraid that you you can BAN there i said it someone from your site that will soon fade into the sunset like many before that you want me to beg you for Fucking forgiveness well FUCK YOU DIP SHITS LOL


AH YES, AMENDMENT 28: THE RIGHT TO POST ON PRIVATELY-OWNED INTERNET DISCUSSION FORUMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED

Subject: Censorship comes at a price...

Just thought I would let you know that when I finish up in DC I will soon be filing constitutional claims against you and your entire organization... It should make for some good reading material because right now Chief Justice John Roberts can't even defend himself... What do you think is going to happen when your readers see and read first hand what you did to me and how you violate your members constitutional rights???

The next time you decide to violate someone's constitutional rights, maybe you will think twice... Lawyer up! S~


[font size="3"]POLL: Who is your favorite hate mailer?[/font]
194 votes, 5 passes | Time left: Time expired
The person who is going to contact the LLC office directly
7 (4%)
The person who thinks people should say hi shirt or hi pants
28 (14%)
The person who thinks we're Netflix
14 (7%)
The person who is going to trash us on other sites
0 (0%)
The person who know hundreds of Democrate idiot's
10 (5%)
The person who supports our right to puke out liberal jibrish
5 (3%)
The person who thinks we would have gladly assassinated Martin Luther King
9 (5%)
The person who can't write cock
8 (4%)
The person who thinks MSNBC started this whole mess about race
13 (7%)
The person who wants us to lawyer up
100 (52%)
Show usernames
Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll
168 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Heeeeeeeere's... Hatemail! (Original Post) EarlG May 2014 OP
I can't choose just one; they're ALL fuckin' adorable Scootaloo May 2014 #1
A prime collection of TSTL fools. hobbit709 May 2014 #2
cock, fuck shit dammit. PeaceNikki May 2014 #3
you spelled the first word incorrectly it's spelled c-ck leftyohiolib May 2014 #24
And here I thought it was spelled Koch! csziggy May 2014 #28
That's K-ch to you! BainsBane May 2014 #87
Perfect! uppityperson May 2014 #93
DUzy alert. nt awoke_in_2003 May 2014 #145
spit take Liberalynn May 2014 #91
DUzy! NuclearDem May 2014 #32
thanks leftyohiolib May 2014 #48
No... Blanks May 2014 #106
Maybe he just stutters when he types? whopis01 May 2014 #125
Yipee I love the Hatemail bag sharp_stick May 2014 #4
Woohoo! chrisa May 2014 #5
Well, I can only say that the "Lawyer Up!" MineralMan May 2014 #6
"When I finish up in DC" - he's so important! chrisa May 2014 #11
I think by "finish up," MineralMan May 2014 #16
That f'ing Kruse does think he's all that... n/t fleabiscuit May 2014 #86
But who can resist an opportunity to say, "Hi shirt or hi pants"? tblue37 May 2014 #129
Maybe they should consult with Bob Boudelang first. L0oniX May 2014 #156
A bunch of trolls from the conservative websites Gothmog May 2014 #7
The hard part is figuring out which ones come from banned right-wing trolls... SidDithers May 2014 #8
Two sides of the same coin? FSogol May 2014 #25
Absolutely! greatauntoftriplets May 2014 #30
EarlG for the win in the cock mail NightWatcher May 2014 #9
I like lamp Capt. Obvious May 2014 #10
And to think the Netflix one is the SANEST of these posts. amb123 May 2014 #12
seriously uppityperson May 2014 #94
LMAO Soylent Brice May 2014 #132
God only knows what would've happened... 47of74 May 2014 #168
One of the best threads I've read all day. How did DU and Netflix get confused? I'm confused..LOL. monmouth3 May 2014 #13
I'd love to see the email that NETFLIX got about DU!!! nt MADem May 2014 #56
Another DUzy. nt sarge43 May 2014 #66
omg, I am dying here, laughing uppityperson May 2014 #95
I can think of several ways nxylas May 2014 #73
How can you be sure you spotted them all in time? No Vested Interest May 2014 #85
I can't be sure nxylas May 2014 #150
Good you have caught them. The Netflix e-mails must be a hoot...n/t monmouth3 May 2014 #113
He was probably in the Video and Multimedia forum notadmblnd May 2014 #111
So glad this is back RockaFowler May 2014 #14
Was the "hi pants" guy Gary Busey?? JoePhilly May 2014 #15
Haha! Had the same thought! Aldo Leopold May 2014 #35
Which is odd because he could also be the Netflix guy too! JoePhilly May 2014 #41
Lol! You're right! Aldo Leopold May 2014 #65
You beat me to it... llmart May 2014 #44
"...gaggle of gestapo GARBAGE..." randome May 2014 #17
It's alimentary alliteration. winter is coming May 2014 #72
Cock one, for sure! RiffRandell May 2014 #18
The person who thinks we would have gladly assassinated MLK, for sure! AverageJoe90 May 2014 #19
So hard to choose wryter2000 May 2014 #20
I voted for the one who says Skinner lovemydog May 2014 #21
Bless the heart of the person seeking streaming video (netflix) etherealtruth May 2014 #22
LOL. Not understanding the 1st amendment seems to be a National epidemic. FSogol May 2014 #23
There you go Liberalynn May 2014 #98
Then they would get autism awoke_in_2003 May 2014 #147
Thanks EarlG. Sincerely, A Proud Spewer of Rancid Tallow. Scuba May 2014 #26
Yes -- "communist bits of rancid tallow" was by far the best! LuckyLib May 2014 #62
Any of these come with a translator? Spirochete May 2014 #27
Was going to vote for Netflix Prophet 451 May 2014 #29
I vacillated between the two, but came down on the side of poor slob wanting streaming video etherealtruth May 2014 #39
If only we could have hooked him up with one of our streaming video spammers... winter is coming May 2014 #74
And to be fair DemocraticWing May 2014 #43
I know, where is it hidden? n/t Prophet 451 May 2014 #46
It was in Meta. Now you know why it's gone. jmowreader May 2014 #139
To quote George Carlin: Mr.Bill May 2014 #31
AND tits?! mindwalker_i May 2014 #67
His next line in that routine Mr.Bill May 2014 #69
LOL! Le Taz Hot May 2014 #102
Funny stuff amuse bouche May 2014 #33
Second one, just for the "what is this I don't even" value. NuclearDem May 2014 #34
"Hi, Pants!" Warren DeMontague May 2014 #36
WELCOME BACK, DU Hate Mailbag ! Trajan May 2014 #37
The "Hi pants" dude, for sure. Aldo Leopold May 2014 #38
Hi shirt! lovemydog May 2014 #47
I have used 'Hey, howzithangin jockstrap?!?" on one occasion, and hydrocarbons were involved... JHB May 2014 #88
Love. They are all so good. MadrasT May 2014 #40
#1 Mistook LLC to be an acronym for Lonely Losers Club. herding cats May 2014 #42
Voted for Netflix Person for a very specific reason: DemocraticWing May 2014 #45
Just because... sarisataka May 2014 #49
"fairy skippers" LMAO underpants May 2014 #50
LOL ... at first I thought it said "fairy slippers" and then I did a re-read. n/t RKP5637 May 2014 #126
The last one, always Ratty May 2014 #51
It's a smorgasbord of stupid. progressoid May 2014 #52
Hahahahaha!!! I was torn between COCK and JIBRISH (imagine saying that in any other context), MADem May 2014 #53
fuck shit hell fire madokie May 2014 #54
Frankly I think the quality of hate mail has gone down over the years. zeemike May 2014 #55
These are better than the Onion. kairos12 May 2014 #57
!!! Kali May 2014 #58
I'm a fan of the yodel who thinks we're Netflix. Arkana May 2014 #59
LOL! I bet EarlG was LHAO! Cha May 2014 #134
Two things brought me to DU beerandjesus May 2014 #60
/\/\/\/\ yes/\/\/\/\ dembotoz May 2014 #63
...will you be carrying Boardwalk Empire as well? NRaleighLiberal May 2014 #61
A close field, but Denzil_DC May 2014 #64
What about the F bomb dude(ette)? ismnotwasm May 2014 #68
I was first attracted to DU around 2003 or so rrneck May 2014 #70
I was going to go for hi pants BainsBane May 2014 #71
It picked you? Are you sure it didn't p-ick you? n/t winter is coming May 2014 #76
Are you calling me a Monica?! BainsBane May 2014 #77
Not sure I would have seen this if I'd added "monica" to my trash keywords when I added "lewinsky". winter is coming May 2014 #81
Thanks for the laughs! Rider3 May 2014 #75
I didn't know what life has, until BlancheSplanchnik May 2014 #78
That was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Squinch May 2014 #99
me too... BlancheSplanchnik May 2014 #120
The 'Lawyer Up' Fella Sounds Vaguely Familiar, Sir.... The Magistrate May 2014 #79
They couldn't exist without hate and ignorance to keep them going. lpbk2713 May 2014 #80
It's all pretty amusing, Netflix Complainer is hard to beat... Bluenorthwest May 2014 #82
So glad to see the Hate Mailbag again; kudos to EarG for the LOL titles! Hekate May 2014 #83
WOW! I had the MSNBC schmuck in a romp, but the lawyer up clown ... 11 Bravo May 2014 #84
My thinking, as well. ColesCountyDem May 2014 #104
Heh-heh! cer7711 May 2014 #89
Does anyone have the zip code of the "LLC Office?" DFW May 2014 #90
I love the hate mailbag! n/t warrprayer May 2014 #92
The "office of the LLC" was just such an absurd sounding name rurallib May 2014 #96
It was a tough choice. Le Taz Hot May 2014 #97
Thank you EarlG, choking am laughing so hard. uppityperson May 2014 #100
Are you holding up bast gains again???? Dammit, we talked about that. Squinch May 2014 #101
This seems like a slightly better class of moron Warpy May 2014 #103
I gotta go with the one who thinks that Rommeny can't run again yardwork May 2014 #105
"Piss on your echo chamber of Constitution hating, freedom hating, OilemFirchen May 2014 #107
Tough choices NastyRiffraff May 2014 #108
These idiots who claim their 1st Amendment rights are being violated crack me up.... Spitfire of ATJ May 2014 #109
EarlG, you are a treasure Skittles May 2014 #110
I voted the Netflix guy. Springslips May 2014 #112
I love reading these! But afterward, I feel like I've got to take a shower...blech! tofuandbeer May 2014 #114
It's EarlG's commentary that take the filth away for me, tofuandbeer.. Cha May 2014 #135
Yes! I love those! tofuandbeer May 2014 #138
This guy... ut oh May 2014 #115
Do I vote for the stupid and insane, or for the stupid and profane? joeybee12 May 2014 #116
Would love to see more of this! troublesome_mind May 2014 #117
Ask, and ye shall receive. A blast from DU's past: ScreamingMeemie May 2014 #119
Oh my, roflmao lovemydog May 2014 #142
At last, the mystery of Romney's defeat is solved! Rob H. May 2014 #118
Lawyer up, yo! Initech May 2014 #121
This is your brain on Fox News VA_Jill May 2014 #122
Sheesh... Are you guys violating peoples constitutional rights again? Ohio Joe May 2014 #123
OMG Tribalceltic May 2014 #124
Some of these are almost a storyline for a SNL skit! RKP5637 May 2014 #127
Meh, pretty tame. But here's a link to some golden oldies. edbermac May 2014 #128
Wow - thanks a million! lovemydog May 2014 #144
Yeah and DU RESPONDS was a lot better too edbermac May 2014 #148
So many laughs!!! Thanks for this! nt babylonsister May 2014 #130
COCK Soylent Brice May 2014 #131
It's so hard to choose just one! They're all so Funny.. especially with your Commentary, EarlG! Ha! Cha May 2014 #133
how many times did KO have to explain to cretins that "right to free speech" refers to niyad May 2014 #136
I've been on this website for 10 years rucky May 2014 #137
Netflix? More like booger flicks. winter is coming May 2014 #143
Thanks for the surprise! Agschmid May 2014 #140
Wow, hard to pick just one. Rex May 2014 #141
Everyone knows you don't say hi to pants. You say hi to slacks. Or trousers. valerief May 2014 #146
Maybe C-ck is too sacred to spell out? Schema Thing May 2014 #149
I had to go with the one about MLK ... JustABozoOnThisBus May 2014 #151
Isn't an LLC a limited liability corporation? 4_TN_TITANS May 2014 #152
I like the first and last one davidpdx May 2014 #153
I love these updates. ctsnowman May 2014 #154
"Little Fairy Skippers" ...I like that, actually. n/t LeftinOH May 2014 #155
LM*fucking*AO berni_mccoy May 2014 #157
Well, now I demand a liberalhistorian May 2014 #158
Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #159
Spam on the Hatemail thread? Too funny. Wondering if they will send EarlG hatemail now? uppityperson May 2014 #160
Oh noes. Constitutional claims are commin against us Maraya1969 May 2014 #161
It was hard to choose.......... Amaril May 2014 #162
If there is ever another DU name amnesty I'm going with "Fairy Skipper" next time. Arugula Latte May 2014 #163
Difficult choices Bluzmann57 May 2014 #164
Can I be DU's lawyer when Orly Taitz takes on the "Lawyer Up" guy and files suit? nt msanthrope May 2014 #165
Hilarious Endgames May 2014 #166
Can't thank you enough, EarlG pablo_marmol May 2014 #167

MineralMan

(146,336 posts)
16. I think by "finish up,"
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:03 PM
May 2014

he means when he can safely leave the toilet he's sitting on in DC. That's my guess.

SidDithers

(44,228 posts)
8. The hard part is figuring out which ones come from banned right-wing trolls...
Wed May 7, 2014, 02:59 PM
May 2014

and which ones come from far-far-left-fringe trolls.

Sid

nxylas

(6,440 posts)
73. I can think of several ways
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:36 PM
May 2014

I kind of sympathised with the Netflix guy, because I've almost sent emails to the wrong address in the past. Fortunately, I've spotted them in time, but I couldn't help thinking "there but for the grace of God go I".

nxylas

(6,440 posts)
150. I can't be sure
Thu May 8, 2014, 05:00 AM
May 2014

I don't ever remember finding that I've sent an email to the wrong address after I've hit send. But that doesn't mean it's never happened. Which kind of reinforces my point, really.

 

randome

(34,845 posts)
17. "...gaggle of gestapo GARBAGE..."
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:05 PM
May 2014

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Birds are territorial creatures.
The lyrics to the songbird's melodious trill go something like this:
"Stay out of my territory or I'll PECK YOUR GODDAMNED EYES OUT!"
[/center][/font][hr]

winter is coming

(11,785 posts)
72. It's alimentary alliteration.
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:35 PM
May 2014

I'm having fun trying to map these letters to some of the yahoos we banned when I was serving on MIRT recently. Believe me, there are many, many candidates. One might even say there were a gaggle of them, which tended to cause of gaggle of giggling and/or goggling in the MIRT forum.

 

AverageJoe90

(10,745 posts)
19. The person who thinks we would have gladly assassinated MLK, for sure!
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:06 PM
May 2014

I dunno, but from my experience, I'd be willing to wager that they're either one of those black supremacist crazies(believe it or not, more than a few of *those types*, like Mr. Farrakhan for example, seem to think that us liberals are actually MORE racist than conservatives, for one. Amongst many other things.), or a dickhead neo-conservative hypocrite(many of whom, from what I've observed, also believe that us liberals are somehow, magically, far more racist than cons.). I'm leaning quite a bit towards the latter, personally, since they're the far more common of the two, but it may perhaps be the former. Either that, or maybe just a troll looking for lulz.

Either way, all the others were funny, too. Thanks EarlG.

FSogol

(45,529 posts)
23. LOL. Not understanding the 1st amendment seems to be a National epidemic.
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:17 PM
May 2014

Wonder if we could vaccinate the Freepers?

Spirochete

(5,264 posts)
27. Any of these come with a translator?
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:22 PM
May 2014

I guess I gotta go with the MSNBC guy, with honorable mention to the "liberal jibrish" guy, just because of his spelling making me laugh so much.

Prophet 451

(9,796 posts)
29. Was going to vote for Netflix
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:29 PM
May 2014

but the guy who thinks posting on a private board is covered ny the First won me over.

Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)
102. LOL!
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:25 PM
May 2014

That's my husband's favorite curse line when he gets extremely frustrated. Funny only because, unlike his foul-mouthed wife, he rarely curses which makes me roll with laughter.

 

Trajan

(19,089 posts)
37. WELCOME BACK, DU Hate Mailbag !
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:39 PM
May 2014

What a breath of fresh, rancid tallow air!

I had to go with the crowd on this ... I am awaiting grand jury indictment for violating a trolls constitutional rights! , ...

Delightful, Dave ... thanks ...

JHB

(37,163 posts)
88. I have used 'Hey, howzithangin jockstrap?!?" on one occasion, and hydrocarbons were involved...
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:13 PM
May 2014

...although in that case it was ethanol. Lots and lots of ethanol, from Kentucky.

MadrasT

(7,237 posts)
40. Love. They are all so good.
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:41 PM
May 2014

But the "Lawyer up" one got my vote. This bit is hilarious:

Just thought I would let you know that when I finish up in DC I will soon be filing constitutional claims against you and your entire organization

herding cats

(19,568 posts)
42. #1 Mistook LLC to be an acronym for Lonely Losers Club.
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:44 PM
May 2014

#2 I hope they sought medical help, because whatever they ingested was eating their brain cells at a rate they couldn't afford to lose them.

#3 Proud user of Worst Search.

#4 Bless their heart! As if they weren't already a charter member of a DU hate site. Too precious!

#5 Seems to think we're one collective intelligence. Wouldn't it be fun to blow their mind with a discussion on panpsychism?!

#6 Fucking fuckwit.

#7 Wins the creative writing award for this bag of hatemail.

#8 Is obviously a 10-year old child.

#9 Really needs to work on their issues with rejection.

#10 Let's just hope they don't homeschool their children.

They were all so funny! I had to give each their due respect.

Thanks for sharing these with us!

DemocraticWing

(1,290 posts)
45. Voted for Netflix Person for a very specific reason:
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:45 PM
May 2014

"I'll wait for your reply if you're good enough to respond."

I don't think that reply is coming any time soon...

sarisataka

(18,785 posts)
49. Just because...
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:51 PM
May 2014

the person who needed reason to trash DU on other sites needed love.

Would they have not had reason to trash if they received a reply, like:

Subject: you

suck c-ck

underpants

(182,919 posts)
50. "fairy skippers" LMAO
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:53 PM
May 2014

That cracked me up.

Everyone is commented in the c-ck letter but the intro also cracked me up "subject: you" short simple and you know nothing good is going to follow that.

Ratty

(2,100 posts)
51. The last one, always
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:56 PM
May 2014

Filing constitutional claims. Sooo funny. I also always get a laugh out of ones that say they're going to report you to the internet.

MADem

(135,425 posts)
53. Hahahahaha!!! I was torn between COCK and JIBRISH (imagine saying that in any other context),
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:59 PM
May 2014

but JIBRISH won the day--the creative spelling pushed it over the edge!

This is frigging HILARIOUS...please bring this back more often!

madokie

(51,076 posts)
54. fuck shit hell fire
Wed May 7, 2014, 03:59 PM
May 2014

one of the many reasons I fell in love with this place to begin with was the hate mailbag. I haven't the time to read this through right now but will give it a good going over once I get back home from the errands I must go on.

zeemike

(18,998 posts)
55. Frankly I think the quality of hate mail has gone down over the years.
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:01 PM
May 2014

I voted for the one who said we would have assented MLK because it was closest to the crazy hate mail we used to have here on DU.

Get with it Admin...you can pull in the crazies better than that batch.

Arkana

(24,347 posts)
59. I'm a fan of the yodel who thinks we're Netflix.
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:11 PM
May 2014

I would have written back "Come back! We have 3 seasons of Archer in HD!"

beerandjesus

(1,301 posts)
60. Two things brought me to DU
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:11 PM
May 2014

1. The Top 10 Conservative Idiots

2. The Hate Mailbag


Been enjoying those since long before I ever actually signed up. Now I'm hooked anyway, but it's always good to see them come back!

Denzil_DC

(7,278 posts)
64. A close field, but
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:22 PM
May 2014

Martin Luther King guy (?) edges it for me on use of alliteration in the first line, general style, and dismount.

ismnotwasm

(42,014 posts)
68. What about the F bomb dude(ette)?
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:28 PM
May 2014

Oh wait I see

Actually I like the lawyer up dude best. I'm assuming he'll need to get in line

rrneck

(17,671 posts)
70. I was first attracted to DU around 2003 or so
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:30 PM
May 2014

because of the hate mailbag and conservative idiots.

Post all you want, I'll read more.

BainsBane

(53,072 posts)
71. I was going to go for hi pants
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:32 PM
May 2014

but I got such a laugh out of self-censoring cock in hate mail, I had to pick that one. You could say it picked me.

Brilliant headlines by EarlG. Definitely deserves a DUzy!

winter is coming

(11,785 posts)
81. Not sure I would have seen this if I'd added "monica" to my trash keywords when I added "lewinsky".
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:46 PM
May 2014

I'm still thinking about "monica". I'm not interested in the five gazillion threads about Monica that are likely to crop up, but I'd be crushed if I missed out on the latest harmonica news.

Squinch

(51,025 posts)
99. That was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:21 PM
May 2014

Hi pants. The devil hates that.

This needs to become a thing.

lpbk2713

(42,767 posts)
80. They couldn't exist without hate and ignorance to keep them going.
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:45 PM
May 2014



To confirm just tune in to Faux or OxyRush for just ten minutes.


Hekate

(90,840 posts)
83. So glad to see the Hate Mailbag again; kudos to EarG for the LOL titles!
Wed May 7, 2014, 04:58 PM
May 2014

Oh yes, I voted for Mr. Lawyer Up. Think twice, indeed.

11 Bravo

(23,926 posts)
84. WOW! I had the MSNBC schmuck in a romp, but the lawyer up clown ...
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:03 PM
May 2014

blew by him in the stretch to win it going away.

DFW

(54,445 posts)
90. Does anyone have the zip code of the "LLC Office?"
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:14 PM
May 2014

I've been meaning to write them for months now, just haven't gotten around to it....

rurallib

(62,455 posts)
96. The "office of the LLC" was just such an absurd sounding name
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:20 PM
May 2014

it got a big chuckle out of me right off.
Now I admit threatening constitutional mayhem and all is funny, but 'office of the LLC' is just so absurd.

I do note that spelling seems to be improving however logic and expression are still stuck at 2 years old.

Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)
97. It was a tough choice.
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:20 PM
May 2014

I voted for the one that said, "Yes sinner oops skinner sounds like a racial name to me." I don't have a clue as to what that even means. 'Course the rest of the diatribe was equally word saladish.

Squinch

(51,025 posts)
101. Are you holding up bast gains again???? Dammit, we talked about that.
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:23 PM
May 2014

You bast gain holding bastard.

I love the mailbag.

Warpy

(111,359 posts)
103. This seems like a slightly better class of moron
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:30 PM
May 2014

in that many of them can spell if they're not mortally offended by the word they've got to spell.

They're still clueless and I vote for the one who thinks the First Amendment preserves the right to bully everybody into listening to his free speech. I wish I could say it was a rare sort of idiot but these days they're all too common.

Let's hope he finds a greedy lawyer who takes the case.

yardwork

(61,712 posts)
105. I gotta go with the one who thinks that Rommeny can't run again
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:37 PM
May 2014

He'd vote for him if he could, though, if he can find him on the ballot. Also for "fairy skippers," which is new to me.

And I want to know which episode of MSNBC started this racist mess. I can't find it on DU.

OilemFirchen

(7,143 posts)
107. "Piss on your echo chamber of Constitution hating, freedom hating,
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:38 PM
May 2014

communist bits of rancid tallow."

Hang on... Where's this guy from? How the hell else do you marinate rancid tallow?

He probably cooks the shit straight from the can. How déclassé.

NastyRiffraff

(12,448 posts)
108. Tough choices
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:42 PM
May 2014

All are so...so....I dunno...Oh hell, idiotic, drooling, knuckle-walking (with apologies to apes, chimps, etc) morons.

I voted for the LLC person (what the hell is the LLC office?) but any and all of these are "winners."

 

Spitfire of ATJ

(32,723 posts)
109. These idiots who claim their 1st Amendment rights are being violated crack me up....
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:43 PM
May 2014

They would be the first to kick us off of any board they ran.

Skittles

(153,202 posts)
110. EarlG, you are a treasure
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:47 PM
May 2014

hatemail does more to invigorate me than does exercise


"..... i hunt animals when they become legal to hunt for food."

Springslips

(533 posts)
112. I voted the Netflix guy.
Wed May 7, 2014, 05:54 PM
May 2014

Because one DU is not Netflix

And two, Breaking Bad is real easy to find on Netflix. If you somehow miss it on several lists then use the search.

ut oh

(899 posts)
115. This guy...
Wed May 7, 2014, 06:27 PM
May 2014

Why in the hell was I revoked? Truth to much for you? The nude Cubs bear mascot shows what life has. The devil hates it. People should say Hi shirt or hi pants instead of the name of whoever. That is what people accept.


and Gary Busey (sp?) should hang out. They both seem to like to greet their pants.

ScreamingMeemie

(68,918 posts)
119. Ask, and ye shall receive. A blast from DU's past:
Wed May 7, 2014, 07:07 PM
May 2014
http://www.democraticunderground.com/mail/p/hatemail_14.html


My favorite hate mail ever is the "I got called immature by someone named 'underpants'" or something to that effect.

lovemydog

(11,833 posts)
142. Oh my, roflmao
Thu May 8, 2014, 01:06 AM
May 2014

thanks for sharing this. I love this stuff. Any more out there, anyone please post a link.

Rob H.

(5,352 posts)
118. At last, the mystery of Romney's defeat is solved!
Wed May 7, 2014, 07:03 PM
May 2014

Too many knuckledraggers cast a write-in vote for Rommeny instead. Those votes might have been counted had they not been written in jibrish.

VA_Jill

(10,000 posts)
122. This is your brain on Fox News
Wed May 7, 2014, 07:33 PM
May 2014

Because it doesn't make any sense at all. Although the guy objecting to the word "Fuck" (there, I said it!) who can't spell "gibberish" was a close second.

Ohio Joe

(21,764 posts)
123. Sheesh... Are you guys violating peoples constitutional rights again?
Wed May 7, 2014, 07:45 PM
May 2014

You've been deporting people who are citizens again, haven't you... How many times do we have to have this discussion... Go to your rooms and no dinner for any of you.

edbermac

(15,947 posts)
148. Yeah and DU RESPONDS was a lot better too
Thu May 8, 2014, 02:32 AM
May 2014

We need a better class of trolls; they're just to lame to insult these days.

The Smell Test
From: --------@aol.com
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Sent: Saturday, July 10, 2004 11:38 PM
Subject: (no subject)

You A$$holes stink

DU RESPONDS: Then get your nose out of our undershorts.
-------------------------
A Laugh A Minute
From: To Be Announced
To: admin@democraticunderground.com
Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2003 4:57 PM
Subject: bwahahahahahahaaha

Free speech?????????

Diversity?????????

har de har har no ideas, no balls, nothing to run on........

W will crush you in 04, get ready for the gulags!!!!!

Yes we stole the election, we are coming for you daughters next!!!!!!!!

DU RESPONDS: I'll let my daughter know you're on the way - I'm sure she'll be thoroughly impressed by your sloping forehead and tiny penis.
---------------------------------
Mulder And Scully And Bonzer
From: John & Chris <-------@megalink.net>
To: mail@democraticunderground.com
Date: 4/14/2005 3:27 AM
Subject: No scull & bonzer.

Hi So why did you stop me from posting? No scull & bonzer. I would really like to know!! Are the You what you appear to be? {low life} ? founders of this board scared of someone who want to Impeach bush? YOU MAKE ME SICK TO MY STOMACH BANNING SOMEONE FOR A LITTLE TRUTH!! You should move to China{no free speech} there!!

DU RESPONDS: Sir, put your hands up and slowly step away from the paint thinner.
------------------------------------------------
The Perils Of Watching Too Much Television
From: -------@-------.com
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 12:44:44 -0600
To: mail@democraticunderground.com
Subject: Democratic Underground

Your inablity to form an opinion that includes facts. You seem to believe that anyone who would dair to have a position that is not politically correct is an extreamist. Why not put the fachist in Berkley, Ca, that destroy news papers that publish facts that they don't like.

DU RESPONDS: You know, I've always found that reading books is an excellent way to improve one's spelling and grammar. You should try it sometime. If you can figure out which way up to hold them.

Cha

(297,734 posts)
133. It's so hard to choose just one! They're all so Funny.. especially with your Commentary, EarlG! Ha!
Wed May 7, 2014, 10:17 PM
May 2014
JUST MAKE SURE YOU SPELL THE URL CORRECTLY

Subject: Lack of response

Since you have chosen to not respond, you have given reason to trash you on other sites.

Have a nice day..............

niyad

(113,587 posts)
136. how many times did KO have to explain to cretins that "right to free speech" refers to
Wed May 7, 2014, 10:40 PM
May 2014

GOVERNMENT interfering with your speech, NOT anyone else?

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
141. Wow, hard to pick just one.
Wed May 7, 2014, 11:34 PM
May 2014

Wait...What is a strange mix of quasi-babble even for your average RWinger. Amendment 28 is very important to remember, even if some moran figures out how to use a phone and directly contacts the LLC office...probably just a racist Foxnews fan on too much Oxycontin. "I hundreds of Democrate idiot's" deserves special mention for the legion of failure needed. It stands out as a tribute to all the semi-literate Foxnews viewers that think the POTUS is a Commie Fascists Muslim Atheist and hates Jesus.


Mailbag 300 Legion of Failure award goes to - "I hundreds of Democrate idiot's!"

valerief

(53,235 posts)
146. Everyone knows you don't say hi to pants. You say hi to slacks. Or trousers.
Thu May 8, 2014, 01:50 AM
May 2014

BTW, anyone know where I can find a nude pic of the Cubs bear mascot? He's wearing a shirt and hat in all the pics I find.

JustABozoOnThisBus

(23,369 posts)
151. I had to go with the one about MLK ...
Thu May 8, 2014, 05:25 AM
May 2014

... only because I think alliteration always trumps logic.

Gaggle of Gestapo Garbage - cheap poetic tricks rock!!!11!

4_TN_TITANS

(2,977 posts)
152. Isn't an LLC a limited liability corporation?
Thu May 8, 2014, 06:59 AM
May 2014

WTF would they care about the right to post on a blog! Another Republican Small (minded) Business owner.

davidpdx

(22,000 posts)
153. I like the first and last one
Thu May 8, 2014, 07:06 AM
May 2014

But I'll go with the last one since obviously that's the one that's going to win. It's too bad polls are limited to 10. Next time you might have to do three separate ones with a run off final like on the picture threads. Yes, we want more hate mail!

liberalhistorian

(20,819 posts)
158. Well, now I demand a
Thu May 8, 2014, 11:10 AM
May 2014

"Hello shirt and pants, I'm a Democrate Idiot!" t-shirt or bumper sticker. And if I don't get it, I'm gonna complain to the LLC!

Response to EarlG (Original post)

Amaril

(1,267 posts)
162. It was hard to choose..........
Thu May 8, 2014, 01:00 PM
May 2014

.........between "Hi, Shirt! Hi, Pants!" and "Lawyer up!". I struggled for a LOOOOOOONG time. Both were equally deserving of my vote, but for different reasons.

So, finally, being the good Democrate that I am, I came out in support of the underdog.

Bluzmann57

(12,336 posts)
164. Difficult choices
Thu May 8, 2014, 01:47 PM
May 2014

I kinda like the "constitutionally protected" clowns myself. But I do have a question for the jackasses, er, people who wrote such tripe. Are my constitutional rights protected if I post in some cesspool masquerading as a rw website? One more thing, I have the freedom to say Fuck you to any and all rwers. Yep, I'm crude.

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